Sooner Or Later
by AthenaJanethePrettyLittleLiar
Summary: Almost four years have gone by since Mona was unmAsked as A. Our little liars are now in college, taking on the real world, and experiencing new things - Spencer and Toby especially. Sequel to "With Love, Spencer" and prequel to Breedom2Be's "AAWBT"
1. Good Morning, Beautiful

**you might remember me if you've read my previous spoby story - With Love, Spencer. i just felt like i needed to have something else to keep up on. so, this takes place in the college years of the little liars, before Breedom2Be's story - After All That We've Been Through. enjoy! :)**

**-AJ**

Chapter 1: Good Morning, Beautiful

"Look, all I'm saying is that maybe you should wait on this whole charade." Hanna Marin took another gulp of her latte and ran a hand through her golden curls.

Spencer Hastings knit her eyebrows and peered up at her best friend, wearing her signature 'are you _kidding_ me?' look. "You say it like it's my choice."

"Well, if there's anyone Aria will listen to, it's you." Hanna shrugged.

"Hanna, this isn't like trying to convince someone not to buy those $450 dollar Gucci sunglasses. This is a _wedding_. Aria has been ready and willing to marry Fitz since our junior year, and I don't think that four years of anxiously waiting is going to thin down when I ask her to, please, hold off your wedding until we graduate."

"Well, I'm sure that Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery would jump on that ban wagon faster than Emily off a diving board." Hanna said over the rim of her coffee cup.

The two friends were sitting outside at a table of their old high school hang out place – Lucky Leon's Cupcakes – having a coffee break. Well, _Hanna _was, at least, enjoying her soy latte and fro-yo with sprinkles while Spencer hastily applied herself to a heavy binder full of wedding plans, quickly scribbling down as many notes as possible regarding the dress, the band, the food, and ambiance of Aria's dream wedding before her next class.

"I'm sure they would." Spencer snorted. Regardless of her family's still steadfast disapproval of the relationship, Aria had all-too-willingly accepted Ezra's romantic proposal during their trip to Europe over the summer. It was November of the girls' junior year of college, and while Spencer pursued her major in education against her parents' hopes and dreams, Hanna floated around, changing her major more times than she changed clothes, and Emily fulfilled her swimming scholarship to Cal Poly, but checked in from time to time and spent her vacations in Rosewood. Aria studied abroad as much as possible through her first two years at Hollis, and did what she always said she would – major in English. Ezra found another job at a high school in Philadelphia, after being fired from Hollis the girls' junior year, and managed to maintain a relationship with Aria, and even planned out what Aria described as "the single most romantic proposal in the history of forever" in Europe for her – on the Eiffel Tower, no less. Upon arriving home, Aria flashed her new Tiffany ring for all to see, and dropped the weighty question on Spencer: 'will you please, please, please, please plan my wedding?'

And, of course, Spencer had said yes.

And it was times like this where she really regretted it.

"So…" Hanna got that 'I have something up my sleeve look', and Spencer sighed.

"What?" She asked, setting down her pen.

"You and Toby have been together for a while now…"

"Yeah."

"And you both are pretty much one of those 'going to be together forever and ever' storybook couples, right?"

"Uhh…I guess?"

"So…do you think he's going to follow in Fitz' footsteps anytime soon?" Hanna wagged her eyebrows.

"Become a teacher and have an affair with his student?" Spencer arched her eyebrow.

"No, stupid. I mean pop the question!"

Spencer rolled her eyes and went back to scratching down details in her notepad.

"Oh, come on." Hanna said in a daunting voice.

"We are not having this conversation, Hanna."

"Oh, come on, Spencer. You can't tell me that you don't think about it from time to time…"

"Still talking…"

"Will you at least hear me out?"

Spencer set down her pencil and let out a sigh, leaning slightly across the table, "I didn't ask you to take my temperature, so stop being all up in my ass."

"What? I mean, really, Spencer. Toby is a freak romantic and you guys have been totally committed to each other for almost four years now. It hasn't at least once crossed your mind?"

"So what if it has? So what if I do dream about buying some beautiful house and having a daughter of my own that looks exactly like me but has Toby's eyes and name her Audrey Jane? So what if – "

"Spence, you're drooling."

"Ha-ha, very funny. I'm just saying, it doesn't all have to happen so fast. And you're one to talk! Like Caleb's shown any signs of proposing to you!"

"Oh please, marriage?" Hanna scoffed. "Hardly. Can you honestly see me settling on down having kids? Yeah, in another life. Or another universe." She took a final swig of her latte before tossing it into the trash basket beside the table.

Spencer rolled her eyes. "Then we have nothing left to discuss regarding that subject."

"Fine. But at least tell me it'll happen soon."

"It'll happen…when it needs to happen. I'm not sure I want to end up barefoot and pregnant before I graduate, Han."

"You're avoiding the question. And poorly, I might add."

"It will happen when we want it to!" Spencer exclaimed, and promptly slammed her binder shut, stuffing her pencil in the front pocket of her bag and swinging it over her shoulder. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a class to get to." She stubbornly got to her feet and set off down the street.

"Wait! We have dinner reservations in Phili tonight! Aria and Fitz' engagement?" Hanna called after her, "Don't forget."

Spencer sighed and called over her shoulder. "I'll be there."

* * *

><p>If Spencer could have dropped out of any class, it would have been Introduction to Psychology. Despite the importance of the facts it taught, the teacher was a petite, older-than-God woman who lacked the ability to form comprehensive sentences without trailing off and becoming inaudible altogether. The students spent the majority of class time either catching up on lost sleep or doodling.<p>

Spencer sighed, leaning back in the rigid spine of her chair, letting her pencil drop against her opened notepad. Her mind hadn't wavered from the subject of Aria's wedding – she remembered every single detail Aria had wanted for the Barbie Dreamhouse wedding she was set to have in just seven short months.

"May is when we'll have it." Aria had said, ever so surely over coffee the morning after she had arrived home from Europe. It had been September then, and even after two months with that heavy job on her mind, Spencer still couldn't wrap her head around the idea of Aria starting June of next year as a married woman. It would be crazy, surely. Spencer could only imagine getting a call three weeks after the wedding – "Spence! Guess what? I'm pregnant!" Of course, shortly followed by a "Will you please, please, please, please, please plan my baby shower?"

Spencer rolled her eyes and a harsh vibration from her hip sent her hurtling down back to the real world. She hastily slipped her phone out of her jean pocket, tapping in her pass code beneath the cover of her desk.

**Good morning, beautiful. – T.**

Spencer snorted quietly and peered over her shoulder to make sure that none of her pesky, nosey classmates were craning their necks to read over her shoulder.

Toby had proven himself as a hopeless romantic long, long ago. Spencer still struggled to keep up, trying to do some romantic things, but he always blew her out of the water. Even in the little things, like morning texts to distract her in class.

She wrote back:

_**I think that 'morning' is stretching it. It's 11:45. Aren't you supposed to be at work and NOT distracting me from class, pretty boy? **_

Within seconds, the received a response:

**Unlike you, I don't book myself too tight. I don't have to be on duty for Mr. St. Clair until two. Then, I'm off at 6:30.**

_**Damn. You lucky bitch.**_

**Hey, no name-calling.**

_**Make me.**_

**Happily. If I can see you later, I'll make you eat those words. Trust me.**

_**As nice as spending the evening having my ass beaten at Scrabble in your apartment and then waking up tangled in your sheets in the morning sounds, we have prior engagements. Aria and Fitz' engagement dinner? At Gianni's? You didn't forget, did you?**_

**Of course not. You know I'll be there.**

_**Good. See you tonight then, Romeo.**_

**You too, Juliet. ;) **

Spencer bit her lip and smiled, tucking her phone away and leaning back in her seat, her eyes flashing back up towards the teacher.

It wasn't long before another text shook her phone and distracted her again. This time, it was from Hanna.

**Engagement dinner tonight. Sure to give Toby some ideas…. ;) –H**

Spencer rolled her eyes and furiously shot back.

_**Goodbye, Hanna.**_

**;) You know u love me, chickadee.**

With a grunt, Spencer silenced her phone and dumped it in her bag, attempting to spend the remainder of class gathering some notes.

* * *

><p>"So, is this okay? Or too much?" Hanna turned to Spencer, a hand poised on her hip, sporting a pair of Burberry jeans, red Chloe pumps, and a black tank top under a leather jacket.<p>

"No, perfect." Spencer smiled. The two girls were in Spencer's dorm room, getting ready for what was normally their Friday night girls' night, but now invaded by boys and the idea of marriage. Spencer roommate, Brielle, was out at the library studying, like usual, and Spencer watched as Hanna teased her wild blonde curls.

"Great." She smiled, blotting her lipstick. She peered into the mirror over Spencer's dresser, and turned. "Now what are you wearing?"

Spencer shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"Does it ma – Does it _matter?"_ Hanna gasped. "Did it matter that Leonardo DiCaprio painted the Mona Lisa?"

"Well, he didn't. It was Di Vin – "

"Did it matter that we built the Statue of Liberty?"

"But, we didn't. The French gave – "

"Did it _matter_ that Stephenie Meyer wrote the Harry Potter series?"

"Okay, J. K. Rowling wrote them. Seriously, how are you even _in _col – "

"The point is that making an impression is important. Which is why you, my dear, have to look perfect, as usual. Now, up, off the bed. Close that binder and put on some stilettos, because we have an engagement dinner to get to!"

Spencer rolled her eyes, but smiled in spite of herself. "Alright. Fine."

She got to her feet and tore open the door to her closet. Flipping through the various blouses and cardigans, she muttered, "You know, when you think about it, this _should_ be a very awkward occasion. If we were normal, it would be."

"What do you mean?" Hanna asked, halfway through her spray of perfume.

"I mean, going out to dinner to celebrate the engagement of our best friend and our old teacher."

"Hey, Ezra's tight with us now! He even helped you with your essay for English!"

"He _advised _me. I didn't need help!" Spencer snapped stubbornly, tearing a teal scoop-neck top from a hanger.

Hanna snorted behind her. "Anyway, I think it's nice that he's made friends with us. You know, he even took Caleb out for drinks last weekend."

"Well, that's nice. Seeing that Caleb just turned twenty-one, it seems that that's at least _one_ thing Fitz has done that's legal."

"No sour grapes. You like Fitz. He's a good guy, and has given Aria what she always dreamed of – a fairytale romance."

"Alright, I guess you're right." Spencer sighed. She slid her t-shirt over her head and tugged on the blouse. Kicking off her flats, she added, "But let's get one thing straight. I didn't, nor will I ever, need help with an essay."

Hanna spiraled into a fit of giggles. "Alright, Spence. Alright. Whatever you say…"

**Note: you'd prob only get the romeo/juliet thing if you read "with love, spencer." haha, srry ;) same goes for audrey jane; if you have read Breedom2Be's story, it should make sense.**


	2. To Ezria

Chapter 2: To Ezria

"Good thing Fitz got a reservation…" Hanna said, surveying the room.

Gianni's was _packed._ The restaurant had been built over a year ago, but it still never failed to fill up completely on Friday nights.

"No kidding." Spencer replied. The two girls were standing in the doorway, peering around for any sign of Ezra and Aria – or 'Ezria' as Hanna affectionately referred to them as.

"Hey, there they are." Caleb approached them from behind a booth in the corner.

"Hey." Hanna smiled. Caleb leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Spence." He wrapped his arm around Spencer's shoulders and gave her a sideways hug.

"Hi." Spencer smiled.

"Just in time. Ezra and – "

"Hey!" A girly shrill drowned out whatever Caleb was about to say. Spencer turned to see Aria rising from the same booth in the corner, and hurrying down the aisle in her midnight blue pumps and black empire-waist dress.

"Hey." Spencer smiled as Aria pulled her into a hug.

"There's my favorite wedding planner!" Aria trilled. Ezra rose from the booth as well, followed by Harvey – still his best friend from Hollis – and his fiancée, Vienna. The two of them had become a regular addition to the 'group' that they had – Ezra and Aria, Spencer and Toby, Hanna and Caleb, and now Harvey and Vienna – which no one really minded, surprisingly.

Ezra stepped in behind her and held his arms out for Spencer. She dutifully hugged him, before pulling away and letting him move on to Hanna.

"You'll have to tell me everything about your plans so far – I'm sure they are absolutely flawless!" Aria said, her dark brown eyes filled with excitement.

Spencer snorted. "Alright." She nodded.

"Now where's your carpenter in shining toolbelt?" Aria asked, peering over Spencer's shoulder as if Toby might be hiding.

"He's probably on his way. Knowing him, he's probably stuck in traffic or trying to help some lost puppy or something." Spencer teased, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, just because I helped Fido find his way back home last month, doesn't mean I'm Rosewood's new animal control." A familiar voice said from behind her, and Spencer turned.

Toby stood behind her, fashionably late as usual, and dressed in a deep blue button-up and dark jeans. His hair was darkened from the slight rain that fell outside, and his soft blue eyes addressed her like they always did – mellow and soothing.

He immediately pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead. "So how about you and me sneak out early to play that game of Scrabble you were talking about…?" He murmured in her ear, making her giggle.

"We'll see, Romeo. Tonight…" She smiled and sighed. "We have an engagement to celebrate."

* * *

><p>"So, Aria, tell me again how he proposed." Vienna asked Aria over the rim of her chardonnay. Being barely over twenty-two, Vienna fit in pretty well with the rest of the girls. The first time they had met her, she had been sporting a pair of Betsy Johnson heels, making Hanna love her immediately.<p>

An enormous grin broke out on Aria's face as she all-too-willingly plunged into the story she had recited countless times. Spencer, although happy for her, had learned to just kind of tune her out. She took a sip of her water, a little sheepish that she was one of the only people left at the table who wasn't yet at a legal drinking age. Of course, it didn't stop her from downing various scotches at Toby's apartment, but she tended to play by the rules while in public.

Hanna – also still only twenty – seemed perfectly fine with stealing sips from Caleb's Guinness, while listening to Aria explain her story.

Toby sat between them, his hand holding Spencer's beneath the table. He seemed a bit distant tonight, as if there was a lot on his mind. Spencer arched as eyebrow as she watched him carefully. When Aria's story drew to a close, Ezra leaned in a kissed her cheek, a smile on his face.

"So, he really recited Shakespeare?" Vienna asked dreamily. "How _romantic!"_

It was such a Fitz-y move to borrow lines from poetry, but at the same time, it was still romantic to all get out, Spencer had to admit.

Suddenly, her phone vibrated in her lap.

**Shakespeare? Been there, done that. ;)**

Spencer quietly peered over at Toby, who sat motionless, his eyes trained on Ezra, who was talking some nonsense about something that happened back in Phili.

Her eyes fell to the light beneath the table where, no doubt, Toby's phone was, poised to reply.

Myrtle Beach, February of junior year. They had pretty much lived the entire tragedy that was Shakespeare's _Romeo and Juliet_. Well, minus the suicide thing, thankfully.

She bit her lip to keep from laughing and typed back.

_**Hey, not everyone can steal poetry at such a young age, like you.**_

"**It is the east, and Juliet is the sun." See? I still got it. ;)**

Spencer giggled softly and put her phone away. Thankfully, the rest of the group was so engrossed in Aria and Ezra's story that they didn't notice.

"Oh look!" Hanna burst out abruptly. "It's a text from Em! 'Sorry I can't be there, tell the happy couple congrats and that I wish them the best – E.' Aww."

"Reply that we miss her!" Aria said.

Hanna nodded and replied hastily before sliding her phone back into her purse.

"Okay, I think that a toast is in order." Hanna said, matter-of-factly. "For the newly engaged, and for everything else in our lives that is worth celebrating. To Ezria!" Hanna proclaimed, holding her glass of Coke in the air.

"To my lovely girlfriend. Even if she _does_ clean out my wallet on a regular basis." Caleb smiled, raising his glass in the air.

"To the great October weather!" Vienna added, holding up her chardonnay.

"To my beautiful fiancée." Ezra lifted up his scotch.

"To Tiffany engagement rings!" Aria raised her glass of water, flicking her left ring finger to show off the proof.

"To Shakespeare." Harvey smiled.

"To spending every day with the person you love." Toby said next to Spencer. She peered over at him and he gave her a knowing look as they both put their glasses in the air.

Then, she realized it; in the long run, life as a whole didn't matter. Who got the promotion at work didn't matter. What major you got didn't really matter. How much money you made didn't really matter. Times like this mattered. The little things, like planning your best friend's wedding, sharing drinks with friends, being in a devoted relationship with the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

So, with a cheerful heart, Spencer held up her glass higher and said. "To Ezra and Aria. Let them have the most beautiful life together, filled with many great moments and friends to help them along the way."

"To Ezra and Aria!" The group repeated.

"Cheers!" Hanna grinned as the eight friends tapped glasses. They downed a gulp of whatever they were drinking, and the group delved back into deep conversation and giggles as they set their glasses down.

"Now it's Toby – 108, Spencer – 41." Spencer said in a low voice to him.

"Hmm?"

"Our score. I just got a point."

"We're keeping score? For what?"

"For doing romantic things. I'd say that that toast I just gave was pretty damn romantic."

"Alright, I'll give you that." Toby smiled, and kissed her cheek. "Gotta hand it to you, Juliet. You're doing well."

"That's because I have a Romeo to teach me."


	3. The Saturday Routine

Chapter 3:

"I swear to God, Toby, if you don't get rid of that alarm, I'm leaving you." Spencer groaned, her voice muffled by the pillow she buried herself in.

Toby chuckled and she could hear the creek of his footsteps as they rounded the corner of the bed. He clicked off the loud, fire-alarm-resembling clock.

Usually, the Saturday morning routine for them was that they'd both wake up around the same time – typically naked and tangled up in the sheets – and spend the morning lounging around in Toby's apartment near Hollis. Spencer would often pull one of Toby's t-shirts over her head and make them coffee while he showered and readied himself for work.

"Why are you up?" Spencer asked softly as he knelt beside her and pulled all the hair away from her face, dropping a kiss on her forehead.

"I have an early work day." He replied. He already had his tool belt in his hand, wearing a pair of beat up jeans and a maroon t-shirt. "As much as I wish I could fall back under the covers with you for the next two hours, if I don't get to work, I'll be out of a job, and soon there won't _be_ an apartment for us to sleep in."

"I'm perfectly fine with sharing a cardboard box in an alley with you." Spencer said softly, her eyelids fluttering shut again.

Toby chuckled. "Oh no, I'm sure we'd live in my truck, at least."

"Naturally." Spencer teased, smiling softly. "And instead of watching reruns of _Friends_ on Saturday nights, we'd watch the stars."

"Of course." Toby replied, his voice in faux agreement. He stroked her hair for a second longer and kissed her forehead again, "I really have to go."

"Mmm-mmm." Spencer shook her head sleepily, her arms reaching out and grabbing fistfuls of his t-shirt, tugging his to her. "Five more minutes."

"Spence…"

"Please?" She pleaded, rolling onto her back.

"Fine." He sighed, dropping his tool belt with a 'thunk' and fell onto the mattress beside her, enveloping her lips in a warm kiss softly.

"Mmmm. You cave so easily." Spencer giggled against his mouth.

"Shut up." He smiled. "You're lucky I can survive your morning breath."

Even after four years, Spencer and Toby still had the relationship of teenagers – completely, totally in love, with a handful of disagreements and a whole lot of romance. Well, really, they were a cross between Romeo and Juliet and Spencer's grandparents – crazy in love, yet still like they had been together forever.

"You know, in some alternate life, we must have been married for some great many years." She said as Toby kissed along her jaw line. "Probably fifty."

"And I'm sure it was a beautiful wedding." Toby agreed.

"Oh, the best." Spencer nodded, raking her fingers through his hair. "And Audrey Jane was the flower girl at our vow renewal."

Toby chucked. "You're still on that? Even in an alternate universe, our daughter's name will be Audrey Jane?"

"Our daughter's name will be Audrey Jane in _every_ universe. So get right with it."

"Well, what if we have a boy first? Then where would you be? You'd be quite in a pickle, now wouldn't you?"

"Please. We'd keep having kids until we have an Audrey Jane."

"Wow. That sounds a bit rushed, now, don't you think? Thirteen boys just to get your Audrey Jane?"

"Well, whatever. We're having an Audrey Jane first. I can feel it."

Toby laughed and ran his hands through her hair, flipping her onto back and balancing on all fours above her. She giggled and kissed him again. It felt like they were in their own little world – like they were back at Myrtle Beach, oh-so-many years ago, letting all their troubles fall with the waves.

Pressing a lingering kiss to her neck, Toby sighed. "Alright, this time, I really have to go."

"Mmm…" Spencer sighed, but nodded. "Alright. Go make some money, Romeo." She teased.

"Well, if my memory serves me correctly, you are to meet little miss Aria for coffee in…whoops, twenty minutes." Toby rolled off of her and got to his feet, stooping to pick up the tool belt.

"Ugh, don't remind me." Spencer groaned, rolling onto her elbow. "That girl has me practically _drowning _in wedding plans."

"Only because she knows that you'll make it perfect." Toby gave her a soft, crooked smiled and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "See you tonight, Juliet." He said, rising and heading for the door. A few minutes later, Spencer heard the sound of apartment door closing, followed by the muffled shuffle of keys locking the door behind him.

Spencer sat up in bed and stretched out her sleep-coated limbs. As if on cue, her phone beeped on Toby's nightstand. She groaned and reached out for it. Holding it in front of her face, the message read.

**Hey girl! Wanna meet at the mall for coffee instead? – bring the plans! – Aria**

"Ugh." Spencer groaned, flopping back against the pillows. Saturday morning relaxation would have to wait.

* * *

><p>"Ooh, love that." Aria said approvingly, peering at Spencer over the top of the wedding plans binder. Spencer had given it to her to look over while they had coffee at The Bean, a coffee shop in the Rosewood mall, right beside Nordstrom. Since Aria's engagement party was a mere two weeks away, the newly engaged, bride-to-be invited Spencer to accompany her in selecting the perfect dress to wear. Unfortunately, Hanna, who would have been more than happy to attend, had been roped into attending her father's fiftieth birthday party. Isabel had thrown it, whom Hanna was still not on perfect terms with, which made the experience "all the more horrible," as Hanna had so lovingly put it.<p>

"Thanks." Spencer grinned. She took another sip of her chai tea latte and watched as Aria flipped through the next few pages.

"Aww!" A huge grin broke out on Aria's face, "The poem? You're going to print the poem and frame it with the flowers at the entrance to the church? Aw, Spence! You know what, I don't care what everyone says, you are such a romantic!"

"Wait, who says I'm not romantic?" Spencer put down her coffee cup and knit her eyebrows.

"Uh, no one…" Aria said, her eyes flashing back to the page. "So, have you picked out what maid of honor dress you want?"

"Pardon?"

"Your maid of honor dress. You didn't think that you were going to plan this lovely wedding without being in it, did you?" Aria said with a knowing grin.

"Oh, Aria!" Spencer smiled. "You really mean it?"

"Of course. You will be my maid of honor, won't you?"

"Of course I will!" Spencer reached across the table and locked her friend in a tight hug. "I'd be honored!"

"Good." Aria grinned when Spencer pulled back. "But before we worry about that, we have to think about the engagement party. I'm thinking…Paris themed. Now, finish that latte so we can get crackin' on some fab outfit to wear."

* * *

><p>"That is fierce." Aria nodded towards the red dress Spencer was examining with scrutiny.<p>

"Hmm?" She looked up. "Oh, yeah, it's alright."

"Try it on!" Aria encouraged.

The two girls had found themselves Sadie's, a boutique in the mall, after finding no luck on outfits in Nordstrom, Macy's, or even JCPenney's.

"Really? It's a little…loud for me." Spencer said, eyeing the low neckline and slit up the leg. The dress was floor length – which was completely appropriate for the occasion, due to Aria's demand for formal dress attire, but…it just seemed to 'out there' for Spencer.

"No, it's perfect. You, my darling, have to turn heads. If you wear this, I guarantee that guys will be checking you out from every angle."

"I have a boyfriend, you know." Spencer replied as Aria ushered her to the empty changing rooms.

"What, Toby doesn't want some healthy competition?"

"Well, that would be fine if there _were _any competition…" Spencer sighed as Aria pressed her into a changing room and shut the door.

"I'm kidding, you know I love Toby. But hey, don't you think that it will be him who likes that dress best?" Aria said in a suggestive tone through the door.

"Don't you think that it's _you_ that we should be shopping for?"

"Puh-lease, I have plenty of options. Right now, I just want you to try on that dress."

"Fine." Spencer surrendered and began to tug her cardigan and boots off. "So have you talked to your parents recently?" She asked.

"Hm." Aria shrugged. "A little. It's pretty obvious that this wedding won't go down without some strain on their part, but they want me to be happy. And I know that they can learn to love Ezra as much as I do. I mean, look at your folks. They accept Toby just fine."

"Yeah, if they look past the fact that he's not some hoity-toity lawyer, and the fact that they aren't in the know that I spend most weekends in his apartment." Spencer muttered.

"Well, they _did_ look past it, and they _don't _know that, so all's well in love and war."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Spencer snorted. "Love is a battlefield."

"Tell me about it." Aria groaned. "Hey, are you done yet, slowpoke?"

"Just about." Spencer replied. "You might have to zip it for me."

"Come on out."

Spencer obeyed, opening the door and stepping out into the cream foyer of the dressing rooms. Aria grabbed her shoulders and turned her, zipping up the low zipper with one quick "zip". When Spencer turned around to face her again, Aria gasped and clapped her hands over her mouth.

"What? Is it really that bad?" Spencer asked, peering down at her body swathed in the red chiffon.

"No, it's _perfect_, Spencer! Look!" Aria stepped to the side and let Spencer peer into the three-paned mirror.

Wow. Spencer had to admit, the dress was something. Deep red chiffon with a long slit up the left side, the dress definitely made a statement. It was low cut, but not as low as she thought it would be. The halter neckline gave it a fun touch.

"Yeah, I like it." Spencer decided.

"Really? Good. Because you're getting it. And if you don't get it, then I'm buying it and forcing you to wear it." Aria clapped her hands with excitement. "Oh, this is going to be perfect!"

Spencer laughed. "Alright, I'm going to change back so that we can find a dress for _you_." She stepped back into the changing room and shut the door, beginning to undress.

"Oh, Spence, I forgot to tell you…" Aria started.

"Yeah?"

"I invited Melissa to the engagement party."

Spencer's heart thudded to a stop and suddenly the room was deathly quiet.

One beat.

Two beats.

Three beats.

Spencer was the first to break the silence. "Why?" She asked.

"I mean, she's your sister, Spence. And I thought that you guys were on good terms."

"We are. It's her husband I'm not on good terms with." Spencer muttered.

"Oh come on, Spence. It can't be that bad. Plus, you guys had a fling four years ago. And you've both moved on."

"Well, _I_ have, that's for sure. But Wren still hits on me every chance he gets. And it's not only awkward for me, but it's unfair to his wife! Melissa went through _hell_ when she found out that the baby was really Wren's, and the only real reason she took his back is because she wanted baby Taylor to have a father. The least Wren could do is respect her."

"Well, tell him that."

"Don't you think I've tried?" Spencer asked, tugging on her left boot and reaching for her cardigan. "He's like a brick wall. For him, it's _unlearnable."_

"Alright, I'm sorry. Just…make sure you don't sit at the same table. And Toby will be with you all night, so unless Wren is a demented moron on a suicide mission, I say he'll hold off on the flirting."

"Fine." Spencer said tightly. She opened the door and picked up her purse. "But if he makes one crack about massaging my "sore bursa sac," you won't see another morning." She warned.

Aria grinned and chuckled. "Whatever you say, Spence."


	4. Party of Four Wait, Five?

**Hey guys! Regarding a question asked in the comments, about "Audrey Jane", well…it's a long, long story. Well, not too long, but… anyway, my dear friend, Bree, gave me the honor of naming the SpobyBaby "Audrey Jane" or "AJ" after me (Athena Jane - Audrey Jane, see the connection? ;) ), and it just kind of stuck. I've used Audrey Jane in reference to my story, and so have a few other of the Spobettes. It's all just a chain created by us (well, mostly Bree ;) )**

Chapter 4: Party of Four…Wait, five.

Spencer first learned the art of getting through awkward situations from Alison. Before the tragedy of the teenage blonde had struck, sending the girls' lives into temporary chaos, Ali was able to play off every single awkward situation as if it didn't bother her one bit.

So, naturally, Spencer was trying to harness those skills learned as she tugged on a cream blouse and black skirt and tied her hair back into an elegant up-do, waiting for Toby to come pick her up and whisk her away to her parents' house for dinner.

Her roommate, Brielle, or 'Bree' as she was often referred to, sat on her bed and peered at Spencer over the rim of her glasses. The pale glow of her laptop illuminated her face in the otherwise shadowed room. "You know, if you keep scowling like that, your face is going to freeze forever." Bree teased, raking a hand through her hair.

Spencer laughed softly. "Don't even." She rolled her eyes and turned, leaning against the dresser. "I'm off to have dinner with my boyfriend and my _parents _tonight."

"Oooh…" Bree winced. "Sounds rough. Good luck, though."

"Thanks. I'm gonna need it." Spencer smiled and swung her purse onto her shoulder, grabbing her sweater and keys and heading for the door.

* * *

><p>"Spencer, <em>relax<em>." Toby peered over at his less-than-calm girlfriend in the passenger's seat.

"I am relaxed. I'm…I'm good." She said, mostly to convince herself.

"Uh-huh. Then why are you twitching?"

"I'm _not_."

"Sure."

"Honestly, Toby, I'm fine."

"What, are you thinking that I'll screw it up?" Toby asked.

"No, of course not! It's just…well, you know my parents."

"Yes, I have met them before. And I'm forever grateful to them for giving birth to my beautiful girlfriend."

"Not the time, Toby."

"What?" Toby held up his hands in surrender, "I'm just saying. They aren't that bad. We'll be fine."

Spencer sighed. "You're right." She said. "Old habits die hard."

"If they didn't want our company, they wouldn't have invited us over."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. And after all, tomorrow's Saturday. And you don't have work, so we get to spend the morning how we want."

Toby reached over and took her hand, raising it to his lips and kissing it. "Just keep looking forward to that. It'll help you pull through."

Spencer smiled and leaned in to kiss his softly. "Alright. Here we go."

* * *

><p>"Oh, and the wallpaper color was just <em>awful<em>." Veronica Hastings exclaimed, swirling her glass of champagne in her hand. "I mean, really, pistachio in a _nursery?_ Horrible." She shuttered.

Spencer nodded and sipped her glass of water – still forbidden from drinking alcohol in her parents' presence until her twenty-first birthday in January. Damn October. Still three months away.

Spencer sat at the barstool beside her mother at her parents' countertop, while Toby assisted her father in barbequing the filet mignon out back. Spencer, still ever so nervous, peered over her shoulder to look out the back window so many times it appeared she had a twitch.

"But, I guess it's exciting that Annie is finally pregnant. I mean, after two miscarriages, she deserves it." Veronica said, sipping her champagne. "And Mitchell is just thrilled." Her mother went on more about Spencer's aunt Annie and her pregnancy, little of which Spencer was actually listening to. Her mind was bouncing like a pinball machine – from wedding plans, to the engagement party, to wondering what her father was yacking Toby's ear off about.

A sound behind her made Spencer jump. Peter entered through the porch door, carrying a tray of sizzling filet minion. He was wearing a smile on his face – much to Spencer's relief – and followed by Toby, who was bearing a plate filled with grilled vegetables. He grinned at her and dropped a kiss on her cheek as he passed, setting the plate beside the filet mignon of the counter.

"So, Dad, I haven't told you this yet, but Toby got a promotion at work." Spencer grinned, taking a sip of her water.

"Really?" Peter raised his eyebrows and looked over at Toby.

"Yeah." Spencer smiled. "He gets to work with some of the architects now. You know, designing some of the houses and such."

"Wow." Peter looked over at Toby, "Congratulations." He smiled.

"Thank you, sir." Toby said, in his best 'I respect you so highly' tone.

"That's great, Toby." Veronica agreed, smiling.

Spencer closed her eyes and said a quick prayer of thanks that the dinner was going so well. She never expected her parents to be so…kind. And accepting. The amount of growth that had occurred over the years was truly remarkable.

"So, Toby, tell me, how's Barbra Graytenee's house production coming along? I heard that she sued the pool company because they didn't predict the rainstorm last week, therefore pushing back production – not a shock, I might add; that woman doesn't exactly have her head on straight. Has she pulled anything on your building crew."

"Well, luckily, we haven't – " Toby started, but was cut off by the sound of knocking at the kitchen door.

"Uh, I'll get it." Spencer said, setting down her glass and getting to her feet. The room fell quiet as she opened the door. Immediately, her face broke into an enormous smile. "Jason!" She said. She pulled her half-brother into a hug, "What are you doing here?" She asked.

"Well, I heard that you were coming to dinner, and I thought I'd stop by to return the Robert Frost book you lent me." Jason said when Spencer pulled back. He held out her old copy of her favorite poet's finest works. He ran a hand through his light brown hair, his dark eyes addressing her calmly.

Over the years, Jason and Spencer had only grown closer; they needed that sense of a brother-sister relationship to get through the tragedy they shared – the loss of Alison. Of course, during the school year, Spencer wasn't exactly available to hang out with him all the time, but they made an effort to keep seeing each other.

"Oh, thanks." Spencer smiled. It was then when she became aware of how incredibly awkward it must be for her family, who was standing behind her, frozen at the counter beside Toby. She cleared her throat and peered over her shoulder.

"Well, I should…probably be going." Jason said awkwardly.

"Yeah, I'll, uh, talk to you later…"

"Actually, Jason." Veronica spoke up from behind her. Spencer whirled around to see her mother rising to her feet, a soft smile on her face. "Why don't you stay for dinner?"

* * *

><p>"Could you please pass the salad, Mom?" Spencer asked her mother from across the table.<p>

Of all the things that Spencer thought would never, ever happen, sitting at a civil dinner with her parents, and Toby, _and_ Jason was at the top of the list. But nevertheless, there she was, getting passed the bowl of caesar salad while watching Jason enjoy the beer her dad had poured him.

"So, Jason, how's your job in Philadelphia going?" Toby asked Jason, spearing a chunk of steak with his fork.

"Great." Jason replied. "How's your carpentry gig working out?"

"Really good, actually." Toby smiled. "I mean, it pays the bills."

Spencer couldn't help smiling. The two men that she cared about most in the world being friends. It showed promise for fabulous family gatherings in the years to come.

"Have you talked to your mother since she moved to Seattle?" Spencer asked.

"Yeah." Jason replied, reaching for a roll of bread. "She says that she really enjoys in there."

"And uh…her husband?" Spencer didn't exactly know what to call the man that wasn't really his father – just a stand-in that truly believed he was.

"He's good, too." Jason said calmly. "He's going to join her there after he closes the deal with his company in L.A."

"That's great." Spencer replied.

A beat of silence.

"So, Jason." Spencer's father spoke up, and all four heads whirled to face him. "I was working on installing an entertainment system and lounge in the barn – since Melissa hasn't been living in it for a while." He said. "Unfortunately, I might need some help in the design plans."

Spencer bit her lip to keep back her smile and forced her gaze to her lap. Her father hadn't needed help with, well, _anything_ for as long as Spencer could remember. And, even if he did, the most successful outcome would be to ask Toby, or someone else at his work.

But it wasn't because he wanted to best entertainment lounge. It was because Jason was his son, and he was his father.

Somehow, this night was becoming one of the most enjoyable ones of Spencer's life.

* * *

><p>"You didn't have to do that, you know." Spencer smiled at her mother as she walked her out onto the porch. Peter and Toby were at the end of the driveway, talking to Jason while loading some leftovers into the front seat of Toby's truck. Spencer had stayed behind in the doorway to talk to her mom privately. "Invite him to stay."<p>

"I know." Veronica smiled. "But I wanted to. Jason may not be my son, but…he's your brother. And I love you, so loving him makes too much sense to pass up."

Spencer smiled and pulled her mother into a hug. "Thank you." She murmured. "Not just for Jason, but for Toby, too. I know that you probably pictured me being with…some lawyer-to-be, or a guy in medical school, but – "

"Spencer." Her mother said seriously, looking at her intently. "Toby makes you happy. And, honestly, he's really a good kid."

"Kid?"

Veronica laughed. "Alright, a good _man._ I mean, the one thing that I want as a mother is to be sure that my daughter is with a man that will love her as much as we do." She put a hand on her shoulder. "And you are."

Spencer's face hurt from smiling so much; her parents had pleasantly surprised her so many times during the night. After all these years, they finally learned to see things through her eyes.

"Thank you." Spencer whispered and hugged Veronica once more. "For the dinner, and for all the lovely surprises you have given me tonight."

"You're welcome. It wasn't a problem, anyway. This state of being is long overdue; we need to be at a state of peace." She said softly, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay." Spencer said, squeezing her mother's hand one last time before heading down the stairs toward Toby's truck.

* * *

><p>"I'd say this calls for a celebration." Toby said, settling down on the couch beside Spencer, two glasses of scotch in his hands. After leaving her parents' house, Toby and Spencer had driven back to Toby's apartment, where they changed into comfortable clothes – Spencer borrowing his old, worn blue t-shirt and a pair of sweats – and settled down to watch a movie<p>

"Why?" Spencer gave a half-smile and looked over her shoulder from the shelf beside the TV, her fingers pausing along the spines of DVDs.

"Because, we did _fabulous_." Toby grinned.

Spencer chuckled. "You're right – it went exceptionally well." She said. "Alright, what movie?" She asked.

"Hmm…I think it's your choice. Because I chose last week."

"Okay, uhm…_Bridget Jones' Diary."_ Spencer said, sliding the DVD from the shelf and popping it into the Blu-ray player she had given him for his twenty-first birthday.

"Alright, get on over here. I have a scotch waiting with your name on it."

Spencer obeyed, falling back onto the couch. He handed her the glass and put his free arm around her as the beginning of the movie started; "_It all began on New Years' Eve in my thirty-second year of being single…"_

"Promise me you won't fall asleep this time." Toby nudged her playfully.

"What? You don't like carrying me to bed?"

"Of course I do. But it's kind of hard to turn on a woman that's half-asleep." He reasoned.

Spencer giggled. "Alright. I won't fall asleep, and then you can carry me off to bed – fully awake – and get me tangled un in your sheets, like usual."

"Thank you." Toby grinned, satisfied. He nuzzled his nose in her hair as she downed another sip of scotch.

"Tonight…was great." She said.

"Yeah. I told you your parents weren't that bad."

"Yeah." Spencer smiled. "They're actually pretty great."

"Cheers." Toby said, sitting up slightly to hold up his glass. "To your amazing parents."

"Cheers." Spencer grinned and clinked her glass against his. "Now shut up and let me watch Mark Darcy totally screw things up with Bridget."

**reference to "Annie" = Spencer's aunt who got married in Myrtle Beach in my previous story. ;) thank u, again, to Bree, whom i named Spencer's roommate after ;) **


	5. Two Nosey Bitches

Chapter 5:

The sound of a cell phone ringing sent Spencer flailing, bolting upright in bed and clutching the bed sheet to her chest. She felt around sleepily for her cell phone on the dresser. "Are you kidding me?" She groaned, throwing her head back.

Toby stirred beside her, "Hmm?" He said hazily, rubbing his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"This." Spencer said, annoyed. She shoved the illuminated cell phone screen in front of his face. "Aria calling me at _seven thirty in the morning_."

"Are you going to answer it?" Toby asked. He ran his hand through his bedhead-overrun hair.

"I have to, don't I?" She grumbled. Accepting the call and raising the phone to her ear, Spencer sighed. "What?"

"Hey, Spencer!" Aria said, just as cheery as always. "Oooh, were you asleep?"

"No, Aria, I was just on my way out to the barn to milk Bessie." Spencer said sardonically. She swung her legs off the bed, reaching for Toby's t-shirt lying beside her jeans. Pulling it over her head, she stood up and started walking towards the bathroom. "What's so important that it couldn't want until I meet you at the florist later? It's a _Saturday morning_, Aria."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, I just…wanted to ask your opinion on something."

Spencer began to run the hot water in the shower. "How about this: I meet you at eight instead of ten to grab some coffee. You can ask my opinion then." She said. "And, hey, why aren't you with Ezra? I mean, he is the groom-to-be…"

"Oh, I am, silly!" Aria said. "We're out for coffee. See? Say hi, Ezra!" Aria said. In the background, Spencer could hear a muffled, "Wha?"

"It's Spencer, say hi!"

"It's okay, Aria. He knows I'm here." Spencer assured her. "I'm getting in the shower. I'll see you at eight."

"Okay! How about I pick you up at Toby's apartment?"

"Sure. Sounds good." She replied, rubbing the goop from her eyes.

"Oh, and Spencer, real quick, I – "

"Aria, in a moment, you're going to hear something that sounds like someone hanging up the phone." Spencer said, and promptly hit the END button on her cell phone.

Toby chuckled and Spencer peered through the doorway. "What are you laughing at? You have work later today!" Spencer exclaimed.

"It's not that." Toby shook his head, still buried in the pillows and sheets. "You're just such a good conversationalist, Spence. You even make being hung up on sound good. If only I had your great skill." He teased.

"Shut up." Spencer giggled and slid off his t-shirt, chucking it at him, "Get up, Romeo. We both have things to do. It's morning, and there is oh, so very much to get done."

"Is this what adulthood feels like?" Toby asked, rolling onto his elbow.

"Yeah, and you're ankle deep in it, so you better get used to it!"

"I have to admit, I'm a little surprised you called." Melissa said across the table as a waitress poured her a glass of iced tea.

After helping Aria select white roses and pink tulips for the engagement party, Spencer had been dropped off at her dorm room – and Toby had set off for work – and she decided to pick up her phone and invite Melissa to lunch.

"Why?" Spencer asked. "I mean, we haven't talked in a while. I thought we should catch up. Besides, it's my treat."

"Uh, you don't have to do that, Spence." Melissa said. "I know that you had to quit your job at The Bean because of schoolwork, so money must be – "

"It's fine." Spencer shook her head. "Mom and Dad are still supplying me with cash until I can find time to get a job. In fact, they cut me another check last night." She said.

"Alright, if you're sure…"

"I am." Spencer said, ending the subject. She took a sip of her coke, "So how's Taylor?"

"Fine." Melissa smiled softly. "She's almost five now, so I think I'm going to have a party for her and her little friends from preschool."

"That sounds great." Spencer grinned. "I'll have to see her again."

"Well, I'm probably going to be taking her to the engagement party, so…" Melissa replied.

"Oh, ya, Aria…Aria told me she invited you."

"Are you disappointed?"

"No! No, no." Spencer reassured her. "I'm thrilled. I'm just…surprised, I guess."

"I understand why. I mean, I wasn't always the nicest person to your friends when we were younger." Melissa cast her eyes to the floor.

"Hey, it's no biggie." Spencer said. "I mean, it's water under the bridge."

Melissa sighed. "Good."

A beat of silence.

"So…how's Wren?" Spencer finally got the nerve to profess the question, revealing the huge elephant in the room.

"He's fine." Melissa said quietly.

"Is he with Taylor now?"

Melissa snorted. "Don't make me laugh." She said. "Nah, he's at work, probably."

"Oh."

Another beat of silence.

"So Aria's finally tying the knot with Fitz, huh?" Melissa asked.

"Yeah, weird huh?" Spencer said. She stirred her straw in her glass. "I mean, I can't say I never saw it coming, I just didn't think it would hit us all so…soon."

"I know what you mean." Melissa said. A look of mischief crossed her face.

"What?" Spencer knit her eyebrows.

"And, uh, when do you suppose Toby will be popping the question?"

"And how much did Hanna pay you to ask that?" Spencer asked scornfully, which sent her sister into a fit of giggles.

"Nothing, nothing, I'm just curious! I mean, you guys have been together for, what, four years?"

"In November, yes, four years. But he probably wants to wait until I graduate before making any rash decisions." Spencer's cheeks burned.

"Well, are you spending the nights at his apartment?"

"Melissa!"

"What, I'm just wondering!"

"Yeah."

"Then you're practically married as it is. So why not make it official?"

"When we're ready, we will, okay? Why is that the main topic of everyone's thoughts? Did they put it out on the papers or something?" Spencer asked, incredulous.

Melissa laughed. "Alright, what are you going to have to eat? Here comes the waitress."

"Okay," Spencer said, pausing the movie. "Why is that girl wearing _heels_ while battling a psycho monster?"

Beside her, Toby shrugged, "She's probably mastered how to walk in them. And it's better than being barefoot. I mean, getting glass in your feet…"

"But, really, I mean, come on don't you think – "

Toby's head fell back against the spine of the couch in exasperation, "Are we really going to do this again, Spence? It's a _movie_. Of course it isn't going to be realistic."

"Alright, fine, fine. I'll shut up." Spencer held up her hands in surrender, unpausing the movie. But within seconds, she picked up the remote again and paused the screen, causing a very nervous-looking Megan Fox and grime-covered Brad Pitt to freeze in midair.

"Okay, but can we just agree that there would be no possibility for her to jump _that_ high in those shoes?" Spencer asked.

"Maybe she'd been practicing. Maybe she goes to the gym a lot." Toby reasoned.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't realize she was your girlfriend." Spencer said, her face a mask of faux offence.

"Can we please just watch the movie? We've had it rented for two weeks. It's holding up our DVD queue. Can you just power through it?" Toby asked.

"Alright, fine." She unpaused it again.

Within seconds, another error presented itself on the screen, and Spencer promptly picked up the remote and paused it again. "Alright, just for future reference, if you ever wait until we are both seconds away from our death to tell me that I 'complete you,' I _will_ leave you for a normal person…"

Toby groaned and laughed, tackling her down onto the sofa, ripping the remote from her hand and sending it flying across the room. He kissed the tip of her nose. "Okay, I guess the movie's out."

"Hey, next time you want me to watch a movie, pick one that makes at least _some_ sense." Spencer said, gasping.

"Come here, you." Toby grinned and pressed her further down into the cushions.


	6. Tease Me

Chapter 6: Tease Me

"Thank God it's Friday!" Hanna rejoiced, collapsing on the armchair beside Spencer's bed.

"Han?" Spencer peered up at her friend from her textbook. "It's Wednesday."

"What? Really?" Hanna bolted upright. "Ughh!" she groaned, flopping back against the cushion and grabbing a pillow to cover her face. The rest of what she said was muffled, and came out sounding like, "Dis oughtally uined my ay."

Spencer chuckled. "Don't you have work to do? I mean, exams are in a month…"

"Just because you start studying the first week in November doesn't mean I have to." Hanna replied, kicking off her Betsy Johnson heels and curling into a ball.

"Well, we are going to have hardly any time this weekend. Em flies in tomorrow and then we have Aria's engagement party on Saturday." Spencer sat up and closed her binder and textbook, sliding them into her messenger bag.

"Ugh, don't remind me. I still haven't found the right heels for my black Madden dress." Hanna groaned, her head falling back against the spine of the chair in exasperation.

Spencer chuckled and shook her head. Her phone rang and she promptly fished it out of her bag, sliding off the bed and approaching the dresser. "Hello?"

"Oh, yes, Ms. Juliet Capulet? Yes, I know that it could be unsafe for me to call this late, given my family's disposition, but I couldn't stop myself. I had to hear your voice." A familiar voice purred on the other line.

Spencer giggled. "Very funny, Toby."

"I thought this was assumed: I'm Romeo. Honestly, I'm a little hurt that you thought I was someone else." He said, his voice feigning hurt.

"Alright, Romeo, any particular reason why you interrupted my studying…I mean, having my measurements taken for my new gown?" Spencer played along.

"Well, I was hoping that you could sneak away to meet at my…balcony."

"Tob – Romeo, it's Wednesday. You know I have class tomorrow."

"Please, dear saint?"

Spencer sighed and peered over her shoulder at Hanna, who had, obviously heard a good half of the conversation, and was giving her an enthusiastic thumbs up, mouthing 'go!'

"Alright." Spencer decided. "I'll be there in ten."

* * *

><p>"Pour something on the rocks, would ya, Romeo? Aria's engagement party is in three days and that's not even a fourth of the rest of the stuff I have to plan." Spencer said, flopping on Toby's sofa.<p>

"Sure thing, Juliet." She heard the sound of him rummaging through the cabinets.

"So, did you make me come over here because you wanted a movie buddy, or did you just need me so bad that you couldn't help yourself?" Spencer teased.

"I'd say the second one." Toby settled down on the couch beside her, handing her her drink. "I mean, really, there's only so much of Spencer's Movie Commentary I can take." He teased.

Spencer rolled her eyes and took a long sip of her drink. "Shut up."

Toby chuckled and kissed her temple. He downed his shotglass within seconds and reached over to pluck her drink out of her hand.

"Hey, I'm not done!" Spencer protested.

"Yes, you are." He grinned and got to his feet, then stretched to grab her, hoisting her upwards and tossing her over his shoulder like a sack of flour.

"Hey!" She squealed, pounding her fists into his back. "Put me down!"

"Not a chance." Toby laughed as he carried her across his apartment to his bedroom at the end of the hall, dropping her onto his bed.

"This is totally unfair, and kidnapping, now that I think about it." Spencer started as Toby knelt before her sweeping her hair off one shoulder onto the other, letting his lips caress her throat. "And it's really horrible, seeing how much pressure I've been…" She tired, but trailed off as his tongue snaked out and touched the hollow space above her collarbone.

"You were saying?" He breathed against her skin, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

"Toby…" She murmured breathily. "I need to focus…"

"No, you don't." He disagreed, his lips moving southward, his fingers reaching up to pull the neck of her top down further, exposing more skin. "Spencer, you've been stressed to no end for weeks. At least let me enjoy you for tonight. Before the weekend gets hectic."

"Fine." She surrendered with a sigh, reaching up to grab fistfuls of his t-shirt, pulling him upward and back onto the mattress with her. "I probably need to forget for a bit. Have your way with me." She murmured tugging his t-shirt over his head.

"Gladly." He complied, shrugging it over his shoulders and pressing her back, deeper into the bed. He moved so that he was on all fours above her, before enveloping her lips with his own.

She sighed breathily, running her fingers down the hard, flat planes of his stomach, before latching onto the waistband of his jeans and jerking his downward towards her. He groaned and began to slide her top up, over her head, and then flung it somewhere in the room. She giggled softly as his lips returned to hers, and his fingers fumbled with the clasp of her bra, cursing when it stuck his fingertips. After a few tries – as it usually took this long – he got it, and she let him slip the straps off her shoulders. She then reached for him, pressing herself against him so that they were skin-on-skin, moaning when her bare breasts pressed against his chest. His tongue delved deeper into her mouth, and he groaned when she began to work on his belt buckle. Just as she pulled it through its loop, her jean pocket vibrated, causing her to yelp and push him off her, gasping for breath.

When she unearthed it from her jeans, she groaned, "God, Aria, I swear to _God _– _" _She pulled herself into a sitting position beside Toby, who was on his side, still catching his breath. "What?" She snapped into the receiver.

"Spencer! You have to get here – quick!" Aria sounded like she had been crying, her voice panicked. "It's Jason – he's in the hospital!"


	7. My Brother and Sister's Keeper

Chapter 7: My Brother (And Sister's) Keeper

_Beep. Beep. Beep._ The constant choruses of heart monitors were the only sound filling the halls as Spencer peered through the glass into the hospital room. The hallway was cold and unfriendly, filled to the brim with bitter silence and fear of the unknown.

"What…what happened?" Were the only words she could mutter.

"Drunk driver." Jason's nurse, Ellen, replied solemnly. "It appears that your brother was on his way home from work and another car hit him straight on. The driver was under the influence."

"Will he be okay?" Her voice broke on the last word.

Ellen paused. "Well, we hope so. He's comatose right now, and we are running some tests to see if there was any permanent brain damage. He was trapped until the car for a good ten minutes before we reached him, but the engine didn't catch fire, thankfully."

Spencer nodded, still frozen. "Thank you." She whispered. Ellen put a reassuring hand on her shoulder before disappearing down the hall.

Toby came to stand next to her, reaching for her hand. She sighed and let him take it. He didn't try to make her talk, or ask her any questions. He just stood there, waiting, being her supportive rock. Spencer was rooted to the spot, unable to tear her gaze from her half-brother, lying on the other side of the window, in the dimly lit room, with his face expressionless and an IV protruding from his wrist. His left arm was bandaged as well as his leg. A large, newly stitched cut zig-zigged along his forehead. It was everything Spencer could do not to bust through the door and shake him until he woke up.

A loud sound of footsteps hammering against the tile made them both turn, and Melissa came sprinting down the hall, followed by a man Spencer had never seen before. She scampered to a stop before them and struggled to catch her breath. "I came as quickly as I could." She wheezed. "How is he? What happened?" She exclaimed. The man behind her – who was, shockingly, _not _Wren – looked nervous as well.

Spencer arched an eyebrow at their unknown guest, but nevertheless replied. "He got in a car accident on the way home from work." She said softly, thankful that she could get the words past her lips.

Melissa pushed past her and pressed against the window, "Why can't we see him?" She asked.

"He's stable – comatose, but stable – and the doctors won't allow visitors until they finish with their tests." Toby replied, knowing that it would be easier for him to.

Melissa's eyes were glassy and she sniffed. She closed her eyes tight and when she opened them, they were like black fire. "Who was driving the car?" She demanded angrily.

"Uh, the nurse didn't say. He's probably in the hospital, too." Spencer answered. "Uhm, shouldn't…shouldn't Wren be here?"

Melissa shook her head. "He's at a conference with some…other doctors in Chicago." She said, her voice monotone.

"Uh-huh." Spencer said, knitting her eyebrows as her gaze once again returned to the mysterious man, then back to Melissa. "And, uh, who is this?"

"Hm?" Melissa turned to her, in a daze. "Oh, this is Franco. Franco, this is Spencer and her boyfriend, Toby."

Franco nodded. "Nice to meet you. Melissa's said so much about you."

"Pleasure…" Spencer replied at the same time, her face still furrowed with confusion.

Thankfully, Toby stepped in to save her, "Uhm, here, how about…Franco and I go and get more information on the incident from the nurse while you two…catch up?" He said, giving her a knowing look.

Spencer nodded. "Yeah." She said quietly. Toby began to saunter down the hall, and Franco dutifully followed.

Once they turned the corner, Spencer rounded on his sister, "Who the hell is he?" She whispered.

"Franco? Oh, my repair guy." Melissa waved her hand, shrugging it off.

"You-Your _repair guy? _And he….what? Gave you a ride to the hospital? Where's Taylor?" Spencer demanded, irritated with Melissa's breezy attitude.

"With Mom and Dad. She was spending the night with them and they are on their way here with her. I called them." She replied, her eyes still fixed on the window.

"Well, what does he mean when he says that you've 'told him so much about me?' Did you – " Realization struck Spencer, and her face froze. "Oh my God, Melissa, no, you didn't."

Melissa finally turned to her, her expression reading, 'I can explain.'

"No, no, no, no. Melissa, you are _not_ having an affair on Wren. Are you?" She asked, panicked.

"I…" Melissa searched for the right words. "It's complicated."

"What? No, no it's not." Spencer shook her head frantically. "There's nothing complicated about it. You're married to Wren and having an affair on him with your repair guy."

"Oh, please, like he's ever treated me better." Melissa snapped, her eyes roving Spencer up and down, the past bubbling to the surface.

Spencer squeezed her eyes shut, "Melissa, I thought that we were over this."

"We are." Melissa said, crossing her arms tight. "But you don't have to live like I do." She stressed each of the syllables, her eyes like glaciers. "You don't have to walk around every day knowing that your husband would rather be with someone else. You don't have to watch your daughter grow up with a father who doesn't give a rat's ass about her. You have someone who cares about you more than anything. I would give anything to have that. And Franco? He makes me happy. He makes me feel like I'm worth something. Don't you think I deserve that?" She asked.

Spencer stood there for a moment, frozen and silent. She pursed her lips and her eyes fell on her shoes – which she had hastily thrown on in a rush to get dressed and forgotten to tie the laces. She shook her head, not raising her gaze. "There has to be another way." She murmured softly.

"Well, there isn't." Melissa retorted. "Unless you want to call up a divorce lawyer and damage Taylor's life before she even turns four."

"Melissa…" Spencer peered up at her sister. "I know that Wren can be…rude and unloving but…will you at least talk to him about it? If not for me, then for Taylor?"

Melissa let out a breath and weighted her options for a moment. "Fine." She said finally, her words short, crisp, and to the point. "I'll do it. I'm not saying it will work, but if it's what Taylor needs…then I'll give it a shot."

"Thank you." Spencer whispered.

There was a brief moment of silence before another refrain of scrambling footsteps erupted from down the hall. Spencer looked over her shoulder and spotted her parents, Taylor in tow, hurrying towards them.

"What happened?" Veronica asked, out of breath.

"Whath's wong with Uncle Jathon?" Taylor lisped, blinking innocently. She stood below them, tugging on the hem of Spencer's sweater.

Spencer knelt down in front of her niece and peered into her eyes, petting her hair softly. "Taylor, remember when I told you about wearing your seatbelt at all times when in a car?"

"Yeah." Taylor nodded. Her Melissa-like face furrowed with concern.

"And remember what I told you could happen if you didn't?"

"That you could get hurt in a car accident?"

Spencer nodded. "Mm-hmm. Well, Uncle Jason was on his way home from work and he got in an accident."

"Was he wearing his seatbelt?" Taylor asked.

Spencer smiled slightly, in spite of herself. "Well, I think so. But another driver hit him straight on."

"Is he okay?"

Spencer took a breath and sighed. "Yeah. Well, we hope so. The doctors are running some tests on him to make sure that he won't have any brain damage."

Taylor's eyes filled with tears, "But what if he isn't okay?"

Melissa knelt down beside Spencer, "Shh, shh, Tay, honey?" She said soothingly. "I'm going to need you to be a big girl for Mommy. You have to be brave."

"Like Aunt Spencer?" Taylor asked, her eyes roving over to her aunt, before snapping back to her mother.

Melissa chuckled and cupped her chin. "Yes. Just like Aunt Spencer."

Taylor nodded, "Okay."

"Alright, honey, how about you have Grandma take you to get some dinner from the cafeteria?"

"Okay."

Veronica nodded at Melissa, before taking Taylor's hand and gently leading for down the hall.

"I'm going to go speak with the nurse." Peter said gravely, before disappearing in the opposite direction.

Before Spencer could further convince Melissa of the severity of her actions, Toby returned, Franco at his heels.

"The, uh, nurse says that the doctors are definitely keeping him over night, but so far, there isn't any permanent damage." Toby reported, coming to stand before Spencer and Melissa. "But they did say that when he wakes up, there's a possibility that he might have some amnesia."

Spencer closed her eyes tight, willing herself not to cry. "So he's going to be okay?" she choked out.

Toby took her hand. "Yeah. They think so."

Spencer grinned widely and Toby pulled her into a hug. She sighed into him before pulling back, realizing that her recent conversation with Melissa might bring about some jealousy. She cleared her throat and licked her lips.

Toby fished his cell phone out of his pocket, pressing a button and it glowed to life. "Caleb says that he's in the waiting room with Hanna. Aria and Ezra are there, too. Do you want to go see them?" He asked her softly.

Spencer nodded. "Yeah." She turned to Melissa, wiping the leftover tears from her eyes. "We'll see you guys later."

* * *

><p>"Spencer…" Toby's gentle voice rang out through Spencer's subconscious. She felt a soft poke on her shoulder, and her eyelids fluttered. "It's two in the morning. Don't you think we should be getting home?"<p>

"Hmmm?" Spencer asked, stretching a bit as she awakened. She was curled up in a ball, leaning against Toby's shoulder, in the waiting room of the hospital. The room was nearly empty, except for the nurse behind the counter and an elderly man sitting a few chairs down. Hanna, Caleb, Aria, and Ezra had left hours ago, just as she had drifted off to sleep.

"You have class in six hours. And then you have to pick Em up at the airport tonight." Toby said gently, "I think you should get some sleep."

Spencer sat up groggily. "Don't take me back to my dorm. I don't…wanna wake Bree up…" She said, her eyelids fluttering.

"Shh…you can sleep. I'll carry you." Toby murmured softly. Spencer vaguely heard the sound of him getting to his feet, and within seconds he had scooped her up into his arms, so that she was against his chest.

"Mmm…" She sighed. "Keep me safe." She said hazily.

Toby chuckled. "Alright, I will. Jason will be fine, I promise."

"Okay." She murmured sleepily, and she could hear his laughter once more and felt the soft press of his lips to her forehead.  
>The last sound she heard was the clank of him unlocking the door of his truck before the allure of sleep pulled her under.<p> 


	8. Emmy Emmy Quite Contrary

Chapter 9: Emmy, Emmy, Quite Contrary

"Are you okay?" Aria asked for the third time since Spencer had sat down.

"Well, let me think. My half-brother is bedridden in a coma, I'm working off of four hours of sleep, I'm stressing out completely about your wedding, and my sister is cheating on her husband, who is coming to the engagement party for the sole reason of hitting on me." Spencer snapped, her chin resting on her folded arms on the table. Her eyes stared straight at her half-drunken third cup of Starbucks coffee. "So, I'm gonna go with 'no.'"

The room fell silent and Aria and Hanna exchanged awkward glances. Spencer sighed and aimed a gust of air upward, blowing a lock of hair out of her face. "Look, I'm sorry." She said, leaning back in her chair, "I'm just…under a lot right now."

"It's alright. We know, Spence." Hanna reached out and squeezed her hand. After her first class, she and Aria had been kind enough to pick Spencer up and take her to Starbucks for coffee. Of course, Spencer had been mostly stoic all morning, having had two huge bombs dropped on her the previous night. When she had woken up in Toby's apartment, she had been so out of it that she wasn't even sure what class she went to that morning. Hanna had been the one to break the news to her that she was wearing Toby's long-sleeve t-shirt as a dress. Thankfully, she had been awake enough to pull on leggings underneath, but paired them with her old pair of flip-flops. In _November._

"I – I just can't think straight. All I can see is Melissa in bed at night with that guy, while Wren is as clueless as Cher Horowitz!" Spencer said, raking a hand through her hair.

"Hang on, what, now you _care_ about Wren?" Aria furrowed her eyebrows at her across the table.

"Ugh, no." Spencer groaned. "But I just…I feel like she's doing it for more than just the attention. I feel like she's doing it to get back at Wren. And me."

"But isn't it better that Wren finally gets payback for being such a dick to Melissa?" Aria asked.

"Well, it would seem that way, but the more that Melissa pushes him away, the more he'll feel like it's acceptable to hit on other girls." Spencer replied, taking a long gulp of her coffee.

"Like you?" Hanna asked, her lip curled in disgust.

"Bingo." Spencer sighed over the rim of her cup. "Guys, this was so nice but…I have to call the band to make sure that they are still on for Saturday." She said.

Aria smiled softly and reached out to squeeze her hand. "Don't worry. I'll do it." She grinned.

"No, Aria, I can't let you do that." Spencer shook her head. "It's _your_ engagement party, and as your maid of honor it is my responsibility to – "

"Shh…" Aria shushed her. "Let. Me. Take. Care. Of. It." She smiled. "Now, you go back to your dorm room, change, and get to your next class. We'll see you at four when we pick Em up from the airport." She said.

Spencer knit her eyebrows stubbornly, "But I like this shirt."

"Yes, and as much as we _love_ to see you strutting around in Toby's t-shirt, dreaming about seeing him without one, it's a fashion don't." Hanna laughed.

Spencer sighed. "Fine. I'll change."

"Aww, that's our Spencey!" Hanna and Aria chorused, pinching her cheeks.

* * *

><p>"Aunt Thpenther?" Taylor asked from the passenger's seat of Spencer's Mercedes.<p>

"Yes, Taylor?" Spencer asked.

"Why don't my mommy and daddy love each other?" Taylor asked softly, kicking her little feet in her car seat.

The question hit Spencer so hard that she nearly slammed on the brakes. She made an effort to keep her face smooth. "Oh, don't be silly, Taylor. Your mommy and daddy love each other very much."

Taylor shook her head. "No, they don't. Daddy's never home, and when he is, him and mommy fight. She thays that he loves other women more than her. And thometimes, Mommy cries. And it makes me tho thad." Taylor whispers softly.

Spencer's heart nearly broke in two at the sound of her niece – so incredibly innocent – express sorrow for her loveless parents.

She cleared her throat and tried to find some comforting words. "Oh, Taylor." She shook her head. "I'm sure that they'll figure it out soon. It's probably just a phase." She said.

"I hope stho." Taylor lisped through her missing front teeth. "Will you pray for us, Aunt Thpenther? Mommy uthed to take me to church, but since things got bad with Daddy…she stopped."

"Of course I will." Spencer murmured softly.

"Will we be able to go into Uncle Jathon's room today?" Taylor asked, peering up through the windshield. Melissa had phoned Spencer after her last class at one, asking her about what she was wearing to the engagement party. Taylor had asked if Spencer was going to "visit Uncle Jathon in the hothpital," and Spencer had been roped into taking her niece with her to visit her half-brother. Not that she minded. Taylor was good practice for when Spencer did, in fact, have a daughter (or course, named Audrey Jane).

"I don't know." Spencer said. "I guess we'll have to see."

* * *

><p>"So how's your brother?" Hanna asked Spencer from behind the wheel. Spencer, Hanna, Aria, and Toby were packed into Hanna's BMW on their way to the Philadelphia to pick up Emily from her 5:30 flight. She was supposed to be landing momentarily, and Spencer had her phone poised on her lap, waiting for her friend's call.<p>

"He's pulling along. Still not awake yet, but getting there." Spencer sighed. "But somehow, he's not my biggest worry…"

"Are you talking about Melissa and Frankie?" Hanna asked.

"Franco." Toby corrected.

"Sorry, Franco?" Hanna repeated.

"If you could have _heard_ Taylor in the car this afternoon…" Spencer shook her head. "It was heartbreaking."

"What did she say?" Aria asked.

"She said that her 'mommy and daddy didn't love each other anymore.'" Spencer quoted.

"Awww!" Hanna and Aria leaned over to look at her from the front seat.

"That's so sad!" Hanna said.

"I know, and – Hanna! Eyes on the road!" Spencer shrieked as her friend began to merge over the yellow line onto the other side of the road, straight into the pathway of an oncoming semi-truck.

"Right, sorry!" Hanna exclaimed, her gaze snapping back to the street, veering the car back onto the right side.

"Anyway, so I don't know what I'm going to do. Melissa is miserable all the time, and so is Taylor. And Wren's hardly there to notice it." Spencer said.

"Spence," Toby shook his head. "This isn't your fight. You can't beat yourself up over something that someone else caused."

"I _know_," Spencer groaned, "but I feel like if I do something, no one will. I can't stand to see my niece like that. Melissa's too swept up in Franco to notice Taylor's desolation, and Lord knows that Wren doesn't care, so that just leaves me."

"Look, Spence, whatever this is…I'm sorry to say, but you should probably hold off on it until Sunday." Aria said. "I mean, you can beat yourself up all you want, but you can't do anything about it until later. I mean, tonight we're taking Em out for drinks, tomorrow, we have the rehearsal for the engagement party, and then Saturday, we actually _have_ the engagement party."

"Yeah, you're right." Spencer sighed, picking up her phone, "I'm texting Emily right now."

* * *

><p>"Oh, I see her!" Hanna grabbed Spencer's shoulder and shook her, "There she is!"<p>

"What?" Spencer furrowed her eyebrows, "Han, that woman is at least thirty and _Chinese_."

"Oh." Hanna said. "Well, cut me some slack. I haven't seen her in a while…"

"Is that her?" Aria asked, stretching up on her tiptoes in attempt to see over the ocean of people circling the baggage claim; but alas, her teeny form prevented her from succeeding.

"Oh, there she is." Toby grinned and, on queue, Emily broke through the crowd, dressed in a pair of dark-wash jeans and a Cal Poly Swim track jacket, dragging her luggage behind her. When she saw them, she broke into a smile and took off running towards them.

Like little children, the four friends fought and kicked to get to her first. Of course, Hanna got there before the others, throwing her arms around Emily and squealing. "Em! Oh my God, you're heeerrrreee!"

"Yeah!" Emily gasped as she laughed. "Okay, a little tight there, Han." When Hanna pulled back, she pulled Spencer into a hug, "Aw, Spence! It's been too long!" She smiled brightly and pulled back. Taking her hand, her face turned solemn. "Hanna told me about Jason. I'm so sorry, and I want you to know that I'm praying for him."

Spencer smiled. "Thanks, Em. It means a lot. And it's so good to see you! How's junior year at Cal Poly?"

"Oh you know, fabulous!" Emily giggled, showing the dimple that creased the side of her chin. Then, she turned to Aria, "There's the bride-to-be!" She exclaimed, embracing her. "How is she?"

"Eager to be married." Hanna finished, stopping Aria before she could answer. Aria shot Hanna a look before hugging Emily again.

Emily laughed and then moved on to Toby. "Hey, Bob the Builder. How's your construction job treating you?"

"Great, Ariel the mermaid. How's the water been feeling?" Toby smiled and lifted Emily into his arms, raising her off her feet. When he set her down, he grabbed her luggage and hitched her bag over his shoulder.

"Fabulous as always." Emily smiled. "So, you'll have to tell me _everything_." She drawled to Aria, stretching out the syllables for emphasis. "How he proposed, when it happened, the wedding plans…"

"Don't worry, she'll have plenty to say tonight at Geoffrey's." Spencer assured her. "But right now," she said as they exited through the automatic doors, out into the parking lot and towards the BMW, "we want to hear about _your_ life. Tell us everything. How Cal Poly is, how swim is, how…well, everything is!"

Toby opened the trunk when they reached the car, hoisting Emily's bags into it. Spencer opened the back door and piled in as Hanna and Aria took the front seats once more. Emily slid into the middle seat and Toby slammed the trunk shut before coming around the side to occupy the last vacant seat in the back.

"Oh, wow. Well, swim is great. I'm doing really well – Coach just can't seem to get enough of me! He always wants me starting at meets and congratulates me after practice. I gotta say – it feels good." Emily replied as Hanna backed out of the parking lot.

"That's great! And how are things going with Elyse?" Aria asked, peering over her shoulder.

Emily sighed and her gaze fell on her hands folded in her lap. "They aren't."

"Aw, Em!" Hanna said sympathetically. "I'm sorry! What happened?"

"Turns out the long distance relationship thing isn't working out for her." Emily said gloomily. "Since she transferred to UCLA…it's caused a rift in our relationship. She ended it on Tuesday."

The car fell silent for a moment. Spencer was the first to speak. "I'm so sorry, Em." She conveyed with empathy. "I know that you really liked her."

"It's not just that. Ever since…ever since Maya…" She sighed. It had been nearly four years since the supposed death of Maya St. Germain – Emily's second but most vital love – and poor Emily didn't go a day without thinking about it. The body that had been found was marred badly, so they were never completely sure, but the blood types matched, and Maya never turned up anywhere else, so it was assumed that she was, in fact, the dead body found in Emily's front yard. "I've never really...connected with anyone like I did with her. And I thought that Elyse might...well, never mind that. She's not."

"Maybe…maybe you could give Samara a call?" Aria asked gently.

Emily snorted. "And say what?" She asked, her eyes glazed over with pre-shed tears. "That 'Hey after all these years, I'm finally ready to tell you the truth?'"

"Hey, look, maybe things have changed." Toby offered. "I never knew Samara well, but in the outcome of that business with A and Alison…it seems like four years would be enough time to forgive."

"Yeah, and we know our Emmy wouldn't fall for someone who isn't forgiving and kind." Hanna added.

"Well, that's hardly the problem. I mean, it's been _years_. And what if she's seeing someone? What if she doesn't even live in Rosewood anymore? What if she's changed?" Emily asked.

"Nope." Hanna disagreed. "She's still in Rosewood; she works half-time at the counter at Bloomie's. And transferred to Hollis. Don't you worry - she's still rocking the beanies and jean skirts. She hasn't changed, except for maybe growing her hair out longer." Hanna replied.

"Well, do you know if she's seeing anyone?" Emily asked.

"Yes, I do know if she is. And so would you if you would stop neglecting your poor Facebook." Hanna said, annoyed.

"Oh yes, Hanna, please, forgive me for not checking my Facebook every ten seconds." Emily replied in faux apology. "I mean, with all the gobs of time I have - what with my insane practice hours and work schedule at The Cheesecake Factory, along with my schoolwork and classes."

"Alright, I get it. But, anyway, it says she's single. And, ah, do you hear that? That's the sound of your window of opprotunity opening. I say you take it."

"Me, too. I think you should give her a call. Maybe invite her to the engagement party. Just to catch up." Aria agreed.

Emily sighed and smiled slightly. "Alright. I just might do that."

"Aww, that's our Emmy!" Aria smiled as Spencer put an arm around Emily's shoulders. "Getting right back into her groove. Come on, Em. Drinks are on us tonight."


	9. The Eyes Have It

Chapter 10: The Eyes Have It

"So, if I end up killing myself because of this, just know that it is, in no way, your fault." Spencer flopped on Toby's beat-up couch, groaning. She had just returned from the rehearsal for the engagement party – something that no bride but Aria would insist on having.

"Oh, come on, Spence. It can't be that bad. You've said it yourself – you're team Sparia!" Toby insisted as he poured her a much-needed cup of coffee. Even though it was late Friday night, with the engagement party the next day, Spencer knew that it was one of the only things that could mellow her nerves.

Spencer snorted. "Yeah, well this whole Batman and Robin thing would work much easier if she would stop forcing the Joker at me. I can't fight the forces of evil forever. Thanks." She nodded as he handed her the cup over the back of the couch.

"So Aria's wedding – which is supposed to be the utmost good in her life – is now the ultimate force of evil?" Toby asked, standing behind the couch and massaging her shoulders.

"Oh, you know what I mean!" Spencer rolled her eyes, chugging back a few hard gulps of her coffee. It was almost black – just as she liked it.

"Spencer, if it bugs you that much, tell her."

"Oh yeah, that's a good thing to do. How would I begin that conversation? 'Hey, Aria, my best friend since middle school, you know how you're getting married to the man you've loved for five years? And that you've asked me to plan the ceremony? Yeah, well that sickens me and I hate it with every ounce of my being." Spencer said, the sarcasm in her tone almost tangible.

"You don't hate it that much." Toby assured her.

"No, but it's certainly stressful. The smell from all the flowers from the rehearsal gave me a headache." Spencer moaned, rubbing her temples.

"Hmmmm…" Toby replied, and his hands stilled on her shoulders.

"What? That's your thinking tone. And I didn't tell you to stop." Spencer protested, looking over her shoulder at him.

"Alright, you, get up." Toby said, having decided something unknown to Spencer.

"What?" Spencer asked.

"Just do it." Toby grinned, walking around the couch and over to the stereo she had given him for his birthday two years before. He slid a CD off of the shelf above it (sadly, he was old school. His truck still had a cassette player).

Spencer obeyed, getting to her feet.

"I'd play this on my guitar," Toby said, popping the CD into the stereo. "But then, I wouldn't be able to dance with you."

Spencer arched an eyebrow, "Dance with me? You're saying we're going to slow dance? Right here. In your apartment?"

"Mmm-hmmm." Toby smiled evilly, turning up the volume and walking towards her. The first steady notes of the guitar emanated from the speakers, and Spencer recognized the song immediately.

_Give me love, like her. 'Cause lately, I've been waking up alone…_

He stepped towards her and wrapped his strong arms around her waist, raising his eyebrows and peering into her eyes – an invitation.

Spencer snorted, but smiled nevertheless. "Alright. But only because I love this song."

Toby smiled and rhythmically pulled her into him, taking her hand and laying it against his chest. She sighed and let her body relax into him. She laid her cheek against his chest, sliding her free hand around his back, linking her fingers through the belt loop of his jeans. He put his hand on her lower back and bowed his head against the top of her head. They began to sway softly to the music, just like they used to, oh-so-long ago. At Myrtle Beach, at senior ball…

He didn't try to twirl her – his signature move that her never failed to pull out at every wedding they went to – but instead just swayed her melodically to the tune of the music.

_And I'll fight my corner, maybe tonight I'll call ya, after my blood turns into alcohol…_

Spencer couldn't help sinking into him. With the pressure of the wedding, and Jason still comatose, trapped within a perpetual state, probably just screaming for release, but unable to bubble to the surface, Spencer needed it. Toby had always been her everything. Her ray of sunshine, her solid rock, her summer breeze. He tended to change form with whatever her needs were. He was one thing she could count on, through the harshest of storms.

After the first chorus, Spencer heard the soft hum of Toby murmuring the words of the song in her ear. She wasn't ever sure if _he_ knew he was doing it, but it soothed her nerves just the same.

"All I want is the taste that your lips allow…." He purred softly and she smiled, sighing and closing her eyes tight, forcing herself to get out of her and be trapped in the preciousness that was this moment.

And they continued in perfect bliss, into that small, but clear window of comfort, their last shred of adolescence. Tomorrow would bring tidings of adulthood - the beginning of a marriage, and the ending of a youthful rite of passage, but they had tonight. And that's what would matter, in the last few moments of life, when everything is laid out in black and white.

* * *

><p>"What?" Spence shrieked, unsure if she heard Melissa right.<p>

"Jason's awake!" Her sister repeated, practically squealing with glee.

"What? When?" Spencer asked, already reaching for the navy Toms she had left beside the dresser, hopping around in a failed attempt to get them on without falling. The product was a nasty faceplant on Toby's carpet. Because he was taking off the night to go to the party, he had to go out to work early, while she was still asleep.

"This morning. He's still groggy and a bit uncoordinated, but what else is new, really?" Melissa giggled. "Anyway, the hospital told me that there isn't any permanent brain damage, and maybe some familiar faces will clear up the amnesia. They said it won't last long and that after a few days, he'll be fully coherent."

"That is…the best news I've heard in…a long time." Spencer breathed, sliding on her jean jacket while trapping her cell phone between her cheek and shoulder.

"I'm on my way to the hospital – are you coming? I mean, we don't have to be at the engagement party until four-thirty."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on my way!" Spencer exclaimed, already hurrying down the hall, through the living room, and towards the apartment door, "I'll see you then!"

Pulling the door open, she hung up the phone. But a second later, it slid from her grasp and clattered to the ground.

There, on the other side of the door, stood the one person she didn't think she would see for a very long time and a pair of eyes Spencer didn't think she would ever see again.

"_Jenna?"_

* * *

><p>"What are you even doing here, Jenna?" Spencer asked. Her arms were crossed tight across her chest. She had stood, completely aghast, as Jenna smiled and slid past her into the apartment, where she proceeded to enter the living room. Spencer followed her, her jaw still hanging open slightly. Once she had gotten over the shock, she turned accusatory.<p>

Jenna, still ever-so-chill, smiled back at her and sat on the edge of the side table.

"Well, I was hoping to catch either you or Toby here."

"Well, thankfully, you missed him, and unfortunately, you managed to catch me on my way to the hospital."

"Ooh, something wrong?" Jenna asked. "Did you finally decide to get that nose issue fixed, or…?"

Spencer rolled her eyes, "Cut the crap, Jenna. Why the hell are you here? I heard that you finally got the cure-all, magic-schoolbus surgery that made you able to see, but you skipped town with that guy…uhm…"

"Mitch? Yeah." Jenna lowered her eyes. "Turns out he thought that selling weed was more important than taking care of me."

"Well cry me a river." Spencer said.

"Come on, Spencer. Let's play nice." Jenna said coyly. "I thought we were cool."

"We are. It doesn't mean I can't still be on guard."

"I thought you forgave me for what I did."

"I did. I can forgive, but I don't have to forget." Spencer replied, her arms still knotted across her chest.

"Alright, fine. You want the truth, here it is: I need a place to stay."

Spencer's eyes went wide and she was almost thrown off balance. "_What?"_

"I need somewhere to stay for a while. Just until I get back on my feet." Jenna said, like the request was nothing more than asking for a glass of water.

"So you seriously think that I'm going to let you, whom I have an insane past with, stay in the same apartment with my boyfriend, whom you used to have a completely perverted thing with?"

"Oh please, Spencer, I lived with him for three years after that. I think I'm past that."

"Why can't you just say with your parents?"

"They moved to Florida, you know that. I got a job out here."

"Doing what?"

"Organizing files for city hall."

"And you really can't get a better job in Florida?"

"Oh please, Spencer. I thought you were the smart one." Jenna rolled her eyes. "I was with Mitch for four years. And he smoked weed more than he breathed. He was in a gang and…they have a record. And, since I was with him for so long, I have a record, too. City hall is the only place where I can keep my records buried."

"Can't you just…get a new identity?"

"I plan to. But I need a game plan. Which is why I need to stay somewhere while I gather my bearings."

"Jenna, it was _your_ choice to run away with a gang-banging pothead. Why the hell are you making it our problem?"

"Well, I see it that you owe me." Jenna shrugged, easy as a summer breeze.

"For _what_?" Spencer asked, furrowing her eyebrows in complete disbelief.

"For not selling you out to the cops."

"Wha – are you _seriously_ bringing up something that happened freshman year?"

"I didn't want to, but I will if I have to."

"What, are you going to run to the cops, and tell them about some crime that happened _six years ago?_"

"No, but you're a rightous person, Spencer. You have dignity. You'd respect that you owe me."

Spencer snorted. "Can't believe this…." She murmured. "No. No, Jenna. Just…no. Go pick up the pieces of your shattered life somewhere else. I'm not letting you drag us down with you."

Jenna glared at her and got to her feet. "Spencer – "

"No." Spencer shook her head, "Get out. Now. I don't want to mess anything up more than it is. You said I have dignity? Well, I do. I know that I am dignified enough to know that I'm not going to let this happen. Now, please, just leave, while you still have _your _dignity. I have to go. My brother is awake, and he's waiting for me."

**Not the last you'll see of Ms. Jenna Marshall ;) she doesnt give up without a fight. I always thought a bad-ass chick like her would end up in trouble with some gang-bangers ;)**

**PS: I do not own 'Give Me Love'. It belongs soley to the talented Ed Sheeran**

**-AJ**


	10. Ours

Chapter 10:

"Spencer, you can say something now." Jason snorted, cocking an eyebrow at his beaming half-sister.

Spencer merely continued to grin like an idiot, smiling so hard her cheeks hurt. "I can't. It's just too good to hear you talk. And know that you remember me."

Jason smiled back and shook his head. "Didn't think I'd be gone forever, did you?"

"I don't know. I guess I just couldn't get the sight of you comatose out of my head. I thought about you all the time, you know."

Jason shook his head, his face an expression that read 'Silly, silly Spencer' – a look he wore most often.

"Do you…remember anything about that night?" Spencer asked carefully. She peered over at Melissa, who stood by the door, having previously talked to Jason and giving him and Spencer space.

"Not much." Jason sighed. "Just…coming home and turning a corner and…a bright light. Next thing I knew, I was covered in darkness, and then I woke up in the hospital. I was told I was out cold for _days_."

"I know." Spencer sighed. "This wouldn't be the first time I've had a panic attack about a loved one in the hospital. And, unfortunately, I don't think it will be the last. But, right now…we're just glad that you're okay."

"Did the doctor say when you can go home?" Melissa asked.

"Uhm, in a day or two." Jason replied. He winced as he moved his injured arm, trying not to disrupt the harmony of the cast and splint. "I'm sorry I'm going to miss Aria's engagement party."

"Hey, don't worry about it." Spencer laid a reassuring hand on his non-broken arm, "Aria knows that you would want to be there. And that you wish her the best."

"Yeah." Jason sighed. "So, she's really going through with this, huh? Marrying the poet?"

"His name is Ezra, and he's a teacher." Spencer said, rolling her eyes. She smiled and shook her head.

"Yeah, hers." Jason replied.

"Don't tell me you're not over it."

"Oh, I am. Believe me, I am. He's a great guy – and I want her to be happy."

"I know you do." Spencer smiled.

Before she could expound on the subject, the door creaked open, and Spencer's head whipped around to see who it was.

Aria – not yet dressed for the party – stood in the doorway, wearing a soft smile and hopeful expression.

"Hi." She smiled, peering past Spencer to Jason.

"Aria, what are you doing here?" Spencer got off the stool she had propped beside Jason's hospital bed, hurrying towards the bride-to-be, "You should be getting ready – the party is in two hours!"

"I know, I know. But Melissa texted me and…I wanted to come see Jason." She said, her lips parted in a gentle grin. The look she wore on her face made Spencer's panic fade. She then understood.

Returning her smile, Spencer nodded. "Sure." She stepped to the side, clearing a path for Aria to reach Jason's bed.

"Hey." Aria beamed as she slowly approached the bed, sliding onto the stool Spencer had just occupied.

"Hey, haven't seen you around. Thought you might have disappeared like the rest of this town." Jason said softly.

Aria shook her head. "Nah."

"You're right. You've never been part of this town. You've always been something else entirely."

Spencer stood beside Melissa, leaning against the wall. She read the subtle subtext lying beneath their simple conversation.

"So you're really doing it, huh?" Jason flashed his signature half-smile, "Tying the knot?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I thought it was time." Aria replied. "Never really pictured it, did you? Honestly, I didn't either. Gosh, I wonder how I'm going to be as a mom." She snorted. "Pretty scary."

"Nah. You'll be a great mom. I know it."

Aria wet her lips with her tongue and laughed once, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hey," Jason said, reaching up with his uninjured arm to touch the side of her head, "I'm happy for you."

"Thank you." Aria said, her voice hardly audible. "That means so much – coming from you." She sighed. "You know," She started, letting out a laugh. "I had the biggest crush on you growing up – when Ali was still around."

Jason smiled. "I know. I think I did, too."

"On yourself?" Aria asked, incredulous. She burst into a fit of giggles.

"Very funny. I meant on you."

"Wow. If only I had known that then." She wrinkled her tiny nose with her grin. She sighed once again. "God. The years have come an gone. I'm getting married in a few months' time."

"And I'm bedridden, fresh from a coma."

"Crazy, huh?"

"Definitely."

Aria smirked and leaned in to kiss his cheek. He took her hand and lifted it to his face, kissing the back of it softly. Spencer watched as they looked at each other for a long moment, all the words they wanted to say drifting between them; they understood.

Aria stood up and Spencer smiled as her best friend wiped a tear from her eye. "Get better for me, tough guy."

"I'll try. Don't trip down the aisle."

Aria laughed, in spite of herself. "I'll do my best."

While another rite of passage passed by them, with the speed of a London train, here amid the ash and grime the years had brought were the two people in her life that would never have anything, but would yet always have something, making peace within themselves and each other.

It was like her mother always said: your first love – or, in Aria's case, childhood crush – would always stay with you. Steal a little piece of your heart and never give it back. And Jason had that little piece, in the tiny empty space of himself, where the part she had stolen would have been if they had not come into each other's life.

They would always have that to turn to – that last, little hope. One shining light within themselves that beheld the utmost innocence of a childhood love. One that never got the chance to blossom, but was beautiful all the same.

* * *

><p>"Toby, you're making it <em>very<em> difficult for me to put on my necklace." Spencer complained, throwing back her head in frustration.

Toby chuckled into the curve of her throat, where her neck and shoulder met, pressing yet another lingering kiss to her flesh. "Alright, sorry." He drew back and spun her in his arms, turning her away from the bathroom mirror so that he could look at her for real – not just her reflection.

"Toby, seriously. I have to get ready."

"Come on. Let me just…soak it all in before I have to share you with everyone else."

"You hardly have to share. I'm pretty much wrapped around your finger. I mean, just last month, you asked me to come to your apartment at the middle of the night, and I did, like a freaking zombie. You have to have a pretty powerful hold on me to get to me to disrupt my beauty sleep."

"Ah contraire, Mademoiselle. If I remember correctly, a certain…Brit will be attending tonight. One heavily in your past, I might add."

Spencer snorted. "Please, Toby." She turned back to the mirror to begin putting on her earrings. "You don't have to worry about that."

"It's not you I'm worried about." Toby muttered under his breath.

Spencer smiled and rolled her eyes, turning back to him and putting a hand on his tie, wriggling it so that it sat symmetrically amid his collar, then pat the lapel of his suit jacket. "Please, don't worry. I mean it. There's nothing to worry about. I'm yours. You know that."

Toby sighed and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I love it when you say that."

"What? That I'm yours?"

"Mmm-hmmm." He burrowed his face into her hair, nuzzling her softly.

"I'm yours." She repeated, giggling. "So, please, don't worry your pretty little mind."

Toby groaned. "Oh please, don't start quoting Taylor Swift again. I'm still having nightmares about my birthday. Loom mental note – reciting real Shakespeare would've worked out much better than clunking out sour notes to 'Love Story' on my guitar."

"What? She's cute. I see nothing wrong with that song. And I worked hard on that!"

"Did I ever mention that I'm not really the country music type?"

"Multiple times. And that's not the point. I love you. And nothing can change that. Like you said, it was the _past. _Well, you are my present, and my future. So, for the love of God, let's get this show on the road or we're going to be late."

"Alright. Lead the way, Juliet."

And Spencer did, smiling and practically skipping out of Toby's apartment, in her feisty new dress, all the while humming '_the stakes are high, the water's rough, but this love is ours…'_

__**WOW. It's been so long since I uploaded and im sooo sorry! lol haha. finals are kicking my ASS.**

**Alright, next ch up soon! ;) Hope you enjoyed the Jaria - I love them as well as Ezria, so please no hate from Ezrians! I still love Ezria! ;)**

** -AJ**


	11. Team Sparia

Chapter 11:

Team Sparia

"Well, Spence, I think it's safe to say that the queen of England would be jealous of this fancy-schmancy part-ay." Hanna gave a nod of approval before linking arms with Caleb and dragging him into the building.

Spencer smiled and continued to stand in the doorway beside Toby, scanning around the room for any signs of imperfection.

"Aw, damn it." She cursed, pointing to the tablecloths covering the dessert table, "_Look_ at that."

"What? What's wrong with it?" Toby asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"The tablecloth is _gold._ I ordered champagne! And Aria and I paid big bucks to the people who decorated this place."

"What's the difference?"

"Wha – what's the _difference?"_ Spencer asked, flabbergasted, "I thought you worked with buildings and architecture and stuff! How could you _not_ know this?"

"Uhm, probably because I'm not you, Spencer. Why do you care anyway? It looks the same to me."

"Why do I care? Wha – I'm sorry, have we just met?"

"Very funny. Look," Toby put his hands on her shoulders. "I want you to do something for me, okay?"

"What?"

"I want you to forget about the tablecloths, and placemats, and dessert coverings, and realize that this party is perfect. Aria is going to love it, and so should you. Now, smile for me."

Spencer rolled her eyes but nevertheless obeyed, showing her teeth to prove she meant it.

"That's my girl." Toby grinned and kissed her nose. "Alrighty, then, I'm going to grab us something to drink, and you, Miss Hastings, are going to _enjoy yourself_." He grinned and let go of her, disappearing into the growing throng of guests and towards the drinks table.

Spencer sighed and shook her head, laughing under her breath. She returned her gaze to the décor of the room – all and all, it did look pretty good. Once Spencer had convinced Aria _not _to hold the party at Hollis Bar and Grill ("But it's where we met!" Aria had forcefully insisted), they had settled on the backlot of Asher's Department Store – not exactly the most fancy place to hold an engagement party, but with a few repairs and some rockin' decorations, it turned out to be quite the happening place.

"Is that Miss Spencer Hastings I see?" An accent-dappled voice that Spencer knew too well scratched against her eardrums and Spencer whirled around to see Wren standing behind her, approaching her quickly. She could vaguely see Melissa about to come through the doorway, struggling to balance a large engagement gift and still hold Taylor's hand.

"Hmm?" She said a bit disoriented, turning her attention to Wren, who wore the same smile he always did – full of charm and false promises.

"You look stunning." Wren replied, his eyes roving over her, a bit too appreciative for her comfort.

"Uhm…."

"Oh, what about me, how do I look?" Toby's voice came from behind her. Spencer peered over her shoulder and saw him standing with two glasses of sparkling cider, his gaze peering past her and down at Wren – who was, still, about six inches shorter than him – looking like he wanted a serious answer.

Wren's face flashed shock for a moment, but he quickly recovered and put his façade back in place, "Dashing. Yes, uhm, how are you?" He said, laughing once to cover up the uncomfortable moment.

"Fine, thanks." Toby smiled, and it looked sincere, yet guarded. He handed Spencer her drink and kissed her hair, "I ran into Em – she said she wants to say hello to you." He told her, before snapping his eyes back up to Wren. "Wren." He nodded.

"Toby." Wren mimicked and shuffled a bit as Melissa appeared by his side, Taylor in tow.

"Hey. I'll talk to you later – right now we have to find Emily and Aria!" Spencer called to her sister as she and Toby began to make their way through the crowd of guests.

Towards the bar on the far left wall, Emily stood leaning against a barstool, decked out in a stunning pale orange dress – some designer that Hanna would no doubt know the name to – drinking a glass of soda. To Spencer surprise, Samara accompanied her, perched on the barstool beside her, stirring her own glass.

"Hey, Em!" Spencer grinned. Emily turned to her and her face broke into a smile as she pulled her friend into a hug.

"And _Samara_." Spencer addressed the perky blonde to her right. Samara looked almost exactly how she had back in high school, except her usually choppy shoulder length curls reached past her shoulder blades, and she had straightened them flat for the occasion. She, too, was dressed to impress, in her creative yet tasteful dark blue scoop-neck dress. She slid off of her chair and hugged Spencer, "I haven't seen you in ages, sweetie!" She beamed, showing off her perfect white teeth. "You look _amazing._ That dress is _fierce."_ She drawled, taking Spencer's hands in hers and squeezing them to emphasize her words.

"Totally." Emily agreed. She turned to Toby, "Oh, and don't think I forgot about you. You clean up nice too, Mr. Bob the Builder."

"Gee, thanks." Toby teased.

"Anyway, the party turned out _flawless _Spence," Emily assured her.

"Absolutely _perfect_." Samara agreed. "I love the colors – gold and white. So classy."

"Actually, it was supposed to be champagne…" Spencer mumbled, but stopped herself when remembering what Toby had said, "But that doesn't matter." She batted her hand in the air as if the push the thought away. "Thanks so much. Have either of you seen the bride-to-be?"

Emily shook her head, "We've been looking for her. I thought you might have seen her."

"Someone requesting my presence?" A voice spoke up from behind her and Spencer twisted around to see Aria, wearing the smile that only an engaged woman should be allowed to have.

"Hey!" Spencer exclaimed as Aria stretched up on her toes and threw her arms around her. "There you are! We've been looking for you!"

"Here I am!" She smiled. She was already holding her glass of sparkling cider – in her engagement ring hand, no less – and dressed to impress in the classy black dress they had picked out together at a boutique in Brookhaven.

"And, you look perfect!" Spencer exclaimed as Emily and Samara stepped around her to embrace Aria.

"Thanks." She smiled.

"Where's the lucky fellow?" Samara asked after planting a kiss on each of Aria's cheeks.

"With Hardy. He and Vienna just arrived and Mr. Popular is at high demand for attention right now." Aria rolled her eyes with a laugh.

"Well, maybe he can squeeze in some attention for me." Toby teased, dropping a kiss on the top of Spencer's head. "See you guys later, I'm going to go find out." He said before disappearing into the crowd of people that condensed the space around the ice sculpture.

"Well, we'll have to go and see him soon!" Spencer replied. "But right now, _you_ need to give me your honest opinion. How did I do?" She asked.

"Oh my God, Spencer Jill Hastings, it. Is. _Flawless_." Aria responded earnestly. "I love it. Thank you so much, girly. I owe you one."

"You do not! This is all my treat. Making you happy is payment enough." She grinned.

Aria snorted and laughed, hugging her once more. "Alright, I've gotta go – Ezra's parents are coming soon and I really should welcome them."

"Of course, of course." Emily said, batting her hand in the air. "Go, go. We'll see you later."

"Alright. I'll find you guys in a bit." Aria grinned, waving goodbye as she, too, scurried into the crowd, her cute little butt sashaying in her dress.

Spencer shook her head. "That girl…is the definition of happy."

"So. True." Emily chuckled.

* * *

><p>"Good luck." Toby whispered in Spencer's ear and she grinned and kissed his cheek before stepping up onto the small stage that had been set perfectly on the back wall, surrounded by the drink and gift tables. The guests had gathered around the stage in preparation for the maid of honor's speech.<p>

"Excuse me?" Spencer said, taking the microphone off of the stand that had been prepared for her. "Can I please have you attention?"

The room fell silent and Spencer looked out into the audience – some from Aria and Spencer's classes at Hollis, others colleagues from Ezra's own years at Hollis.

"I don't want to make this too long, because I know that dessert wine is almost out, so…" Spencer sighed. "I'm just going to say this. We are gathered here tonight to celebrate the engagement of two truly wonderful people. Aria, I've known you for most of my life." She locked eyes with the bride-to-be, who stood closest to the stage, "Literally, I cannot imagine my life without you. And I really don't want to have to." Spencer shook her head. "Do you remember that time when we went to Paris the summer before freshman year at Hollis? And you dropped your camera off of the side of the Eiffel tower while trying to take a picture of us?" Spencer laughed, and the audience chuckled with her. Aria beamed and covered her mouth with the back of her hand. "Oh, but you didn't need to take the picture. I'll always have that memory in my head. I'll keep all my memories with you, and I know that we will have even more in the years to come. Whether it be double dates with the boys or sleepovers with the girls, as long as I get to look forward to my weekends with you, I'm more than fine. So, I love you, you beautiful bride-to-be. You deserve the best of happiness. Ezra…is a very lucky man. And I know that he will love you for the rest of eternity. You guys have a love that rocks the ages." She smiled. "And Aria…I hope that you know how honored I am to be the face behind this amazing ceremony. It's truly a blessing to be your best friend. You are the ying to my yang, the Sherlock to my Watson, the twin sister I always wanted." She sighed and smiled even harder. "We'll always be Team Sparia."

Aria fist pumped the air and bit her lip with a grin.

"So, everyone." Spencer looked around the audience. "To Ezra and Aria. So that they may have the best of times ahead of them."

"To Ezra and Aria." The crowd responded, holding up their glasses in unison.

"Thank you so much. Dessert wine is out!" She smiled as they applauded her and she stepped off of the short stage. Toby was waiting for her, his hands in his pockets, and when she reached him, he roped his arm around her waist. "Great job." He murmured in her ear.

"Thanks." Spencer smiled. "Dessert wine?" She asked.

"Lead the way, Juliet."

* * *

><p>"Hey, great speech." Melissa's voice made Spencer turn. She was at the bar, having been snuck a few sips of Toby's wine to put her at ease.<p>

"Thanks." She smiled.

"Where's Toby?"

"Talking with Caleb. I think they're planning some kind of guys night." Spencer chuckled, sipping her ginger ale.

Melissa slid up onto the barstool beside her.

"So where's Wren?"

"Wouldn't I like to know." Melissa sighed. "Taylor is off playing with Ezra's niece – Shay."

"Oh." A few beats of awkward silence condensed the air. Spencer was the first to speak up. "So…are you still seeing Franco?"

Melissa's lips formed a tight line and she nodded. "Uh-huh."

"Have you…made any progress with Wren?"

"You ask that like there's any possibility for it to happen."

"That's because there _is_. Melissa, look. I get it. I know that Wren is unloving towards you, but he must love Taylor. He has to. And I know that he will try for her." Spencer said.

"Spencer, please, don't make this harder than it needs to be." Melissa shook her head. "Look. I like Franco. I really do. He makes me so happy." She took a deep breath and let it out in a shaky sigh. "Before Franco I…" she cleared her throat. "You know this past Fourth of July, when we got together with Jason, Hanna, Caleb, Aria, Ezra, and Emily? I remembered being there with Wren and Taylor, but all I really remember is looking at you with Toby…seeing the way he looked at you. Like you were…the lightest thing in his life. And that his love would never waver. I remember wanting that so bad for myself it hurt." She chuckled in spite of herself. "I know that it sounds incredibly jealous and selfish, but it's true. He would always smile at you and kiss your hair or…whisper something in your ear that would make you laugh. We haven't had that sort of smile in so long, I cant even remember what Wren's _teeth_ look like."

"Well, good, because some British teeth are better left forgotten…" Spencer mumbled under her breath.

"This is serious, Spencer. I just…you know, want to feel loved. When I was with Ian…he always made me feel like I mattered. With Wren…it's like we're cabinmates at a camp that our parents forced us to go to against our will. We are strangers now."

Spencer sighed. "Look, there's really nothing I can say at this point. I just really think that what you're doing is unfair to Wren and Taylor."

"And Wren constantly hitting on you is fair to me?" Melissa retorted, her eyes narrowing.

"Melissa." Spencer warned. "You know that that's not my fault."

"I never said it was." Melisa replied. "But I would appreciate it if you wouldn't try and help me. I can handle this on my own."

"Alright." Spencer sighed. "I'll let you handle it."

And as Spencer peered up into the crowd and spotted Aria, wrapped in Ezra's embrace, wearing a smile of a woman in pure love – a feeling that Melissa knew she could only get from a man she could never fully be with.


	12. When I Asked if My Life Could Get Worse

Chapter 12:

When I Asked if My Life Could Get Worse, It Was A Rhetorical Question – Not a Challenge

"Look, all I'm saying as that it's a nice thought." Caleb held up his hands in surrender as he set his beer down on the table.

"And I'll _I'm _saying is that the timing is horrible." Toby replied, setting his beer down as well.

"It's romantic. Come on, candles, nice dinner outside, maybe a picnic? It's your _anniversary_. She'll be so in love with it she'll be proposing to _you_." Caleb nudged Toby's arm with his fist.

"I told you. With everything going on with her family and Aria's wedding…it's too much for her. It wouldn't be the right time. She wouldn't enjoy it."

"Uhm, excuse me?" Emily spoke up from between them, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "But could someone please enlighten me as to why _I'm_ here? At _guys'_ night out?" She set her glass of coke down.

"Because you have a valid opinion, too." Toby replied, taking a swig of his beer, "And we thought it would be fun to have you."

"At _guys' _night out…?" Emily repeated. "I'm _gay_, Toby – not a dude." She shook her head.

"Would you relax – get off your soap box. I don't need another half-hour of getting my ear yacked off about how 'being a lesbian doesn't make you a guy.' I know. You are one-hundred percent girl. Now, I just want your honest opinion. The timing is bad, right?" Toby asked.

"Well," Emily began after taking a sip of her drink, "seeing that the most recent _bomb_ to be dropped on her was a mere day ago, I'd say Toby's right, Caleb."

"Plus, who even knows if she _wants_ to get married?" Toby added.

Emily and Caleb lowered their chins to their chests, staring at Toby as if they were looking over a pair of glasses, their expressions identical. "Are you _kidding_ me?" Caleb asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah, and maybe Hanna _doesn't_want to go shopping with me tomorrow." Emily said at the same time.

Toby shrugged, "Hey, it's a valid question!"

"Oh, please, Toby. That girl wants a ring on her finger. She can deny it all she wants, but you should see her. This morning, when I met her for coffee, she was so starry-eyed, lost in her daydream that she filled her cup with to the brim with milk and nutmeg – no coffee, just milk. And. Nutmeg."

Caleb took a gulp of his beer before setting on the bar once more. "There is no doubt in the world that that girl is head-in-the-clouds, 100%, ass-backward in love with you. All you need to do…is put a ring on her pretty little finger."

"Would you both just hear me out?" Toby groaned. "I have a plan. It's forming in my head. I got this – I'm a romantic. That's what romantics _do__**. **_Romeo left big shoes to fill, but I think I've got just the plan to fill them. Trust me."

"Just make it special for her." Emily replied.

"Oh, bummer Em." Toby rolled his eyes. "I was just going to treat her to the IHOP and spring it on her, then whisk her away to Vegas and get hitched at a drive-through chapel. Maybe, if I'm lucky, she'll be barefoot and pregnant before she graduates."

"Ha-ha, very funny." Emily wrinkled her nose. "Just…plan your steps carefully."

"Emily. I love you. But, please," Toby said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Trust me on this."

Emily sighed and shook her head, but smiled nevertheless, "Alright, I trust you." She held up her glass. "Cheers to totally screwing traditional gay gender roles and whatever plan you are concocting in that head of yours."

"Cheers." Caleb and Toby chorused, tapping their beers against her glass.

* * *

><p>"I have, I have you breathing down my neck, breathing down my neck, I don't…don't know what you could possibly expect under this condition…" Spencer sang loudly, pushing the refrigerator door shut with her hip and twirling towards the countertop, where she placed a carton of eggs. Singing loudly and making breakfast for dinner were things that she did when Toby was out. Scratch that,<p>

she indulged in loud, festive song-making and cooked heaping piles of pancakes and such even when Toby _was_ around. Of course, the mere thought of letting her goofy side show in front of anyone else gave her the skeevies.

"Slow down…this night's a perfect shade of dark blue, dark blue, have you ever been alone in a crowded room…?" She hummed, cracking two eggs into a bowl. Toby wasn't set to be home for another hour or so – he had come home from work and instead of joining her on the couch like the usually Sunday night routine went about, he had grabbed his jacket and mumbled something about meeting with Caleb for drinks.

So, Spencer had taken full advantage of her alone time, digging her emergency spa kit that she had tucked away in his closet, applied a heavy white cleansing-mask to her face, and changed into one of Toby's pale blue t-shirts and her own pair of sweats.

She had just finished sliding the newly poached eggs onto a plate to accompany the strips of bacon when a subtle knock on the front door made her jump like a deer. She reached over and pressed PAUSE on her iHome, arching an eyebrow.

"Hello?" She inquired, tiptoeing slowly out of the kitchen and into the living room. "Toby?"

As she carefully neared the door, pressing her fingers softly to it, a voice rang out from the other side before she could peer through the peep-hole.

"It's me." Melissa's voice replied thickly.

Spencer flipped the lock and opened the door. Standing in the midst of the night, illuminated by the pale glow of the distant streetlights on the road, was indeed her sister. Spencer's eyebrows rose as she took in Melissa's form – her eyes were bloodshot and ringed with red from crying, the skin around them a blotchy, raw color. Her nose crinkled and she sniffed. "Spence…"

"Melissa…" Spencer murmured, concerned. Fresh tears fell in streams down her face, and Spencer stepped forward and crushed her to her, putting a hand on the back of her head. Melissa's muffled sobs sounded from her shoulder. "What happened?"

"Remember that time…" Her voice was like she was speaking through a pillow, "when you told me that you felt scared and you didn't feel like anything could help you?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know what to do, Spencer. I'm so scared."

"Shh…it's okay."

"It's not." Melissa shook her head. "Nothing will ever be okay again."

* * *

><p>"Thanks." Melissa sniffed as Spencer finished pouring her a cup of coffee.<p>

"Mmm-hmm." Spencer replied, setting the coffeepot back in its place on the coffeemaker. She grabbed her plate of breakfast-slash-dinner and set it between them.

Melissa shook her head. "No, I'm not hungry."

Spencer nodded and sighed. "Melissa." She looked deeply into her sister's eyes, sitting down on the barstool next to her, "What. Happened?"

Melissa bit her lip and cast her eyes downward. "I…I'm _pregnant_, Spencer."

A beat of silence condensed the room.

"And…it's Franco's…" Melissa finished, her voice breaking. She suddenly burst into tears again, and Spencer hopped off of the stool and wrapped her arms around her.

"Oh, Melissa…" Spencer didn't know what else to say.

"What am I going to tell Wren?" Melissa sobbed.

"Are you sure you're pregnant?" Spencer asked, stroking her back.

Melissa nodded into her shoulder. "I felt sick this kind of morning and I realized that I should have gotten my period five days ago. I thought at first that it was just something messed up with my hormones, but I bought a pregnancy test and the drug store…and it said positive."

"Well, those aren't _always_ accurate…" Spencer tried, but Melissa peered up at her and the skeptic look on her face made Spencer shut up.

"And are you…are you _sure_ it's Franco's?"

Melissa snorted. "Of course. Wren and I haven't had sex in, well…God, I don't even know how long. He comes home late, tired and…well, we both know how much he lacks interest in anything involving me."

Spencer rubbed her sister's back and pulled back further to look at her face. "Have you told Franco?"

Melissa nodded. "Mm-hmm."

"And what does he say?"

Melissa smiled a bit, in spite of herself. "He said that…if I want to try and pass the child off as Wren's…that he understood." She sniffed. "He said that he wanted me to be happy, and that he loved me, no matter what. He told me he _loved_ me, Spence. Do you know how long it's been since I've heard that, spoken with such truth and devotion?" Her eyes dropped to the floor, "How could I possibly try and pass up our child – the utmost symbol of our love – as someone else's?"

"I don't know." Spencer sighed. "Do you think Wren would leave you if you told him the truth?"

Melissa shrugged. "I don't know. But if he did, where would that leave Taylor? Only four years old and already jumping from one parent's house to the next?" She sighed, wiping away the dried tears, "I promised her last year that…that we would stay a family. She came home crying from school because they were talking about the family, and she realized that her mom and dad didn't act like the model parents that they talked about. And I told her that, while we were different, we would always be a family." She clenched her eyes shut and whispered hoarsely, "What am I going to do?"

"I don't know, Melissa." Spencer said honestly, sighing. "I really just don't know."

"And the worst part is…I already love this baby with everything that I am. Taylor is my heart and soul, but this baby…the knowledge that it's something solid that Franco and I have together…that there's a little piece of him growing within me…it's the most beautiful thing in my world right now."

"Here." Spencer tugged her sleeve so that it covered the heel of her hand, and wiped it gently across her sister's face, cleaning off most of the tears. "Here's what I want you to do: you're going to take Taylor and sleep at Mom's house tonight, okay? And I want you to tell her what's going on. She'll understand – I know she will. If Wren asks, just say that you're…sorting some stuff out, okay?"

Melissa nodded. "Okay." She whispered. "And Spence?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"You're a great sister. Actually, the best."

* * *

><p>"Spencer, you have to stop thinking about this. It's going to drive you crazy." Toby shook his head.<p>

"I know, I just…I cant stop seeing her, with that little baby that she loves so much…and then I see Wren, who doesn't care about her but yet…stands in the way of her becoming eternally happy with the man she loves. I mean, _what_ is she going to tell him?" She leaned her head back against his shoulder, sinking deeper into the tepid bathwater.

"I don't know. But it's out of your hands. I know that you're family has a strict motto about ruining today's joy by obsessing over what tomorrow will bring, but for your sanity, accept that it's not in your power to change this."

It was late on Sunday night, and after Toby has returned from having drinks with Emily and Caleb and Spencer had sent Melissa home to her mother's, Spencer had told Toby the whole story, whom had insisted on taking a warm bath to calm her nerves. Her hair was piled atop her head and he was situated so that his back was against the tub and she was leaning back against him. His arms were lined up along the edge of the claw foot bathtub, and her arms rested atop his, their fingers intertwined.

Spencer sighed and shook her head. "Guess you're right."

He kissed her hair, "Alright, wanna get out? You're skin's looking a little pruney."

"Oh, ya, baby, say that again…" Spencer teased in a faux seductive voice, which made Toby laugh. He nuzzled the left side of her neck.

"I'm serious, you need sleep. You have early classes tomorrow. Want me to drive you back to campus?"

"Can't I stay here for the night?" Spencer groaned, knitting her eyebrows.

"Of course. You can stay as long as you'd like." She could feel him smiling into her shoulder, as he pressed a soft kiss there. "In fact, I hate to say it but, I think I'd be happiest if you'd never leave."

"I hate to say it, but I think I would, too." She grinned. A thought bubbled to her mind and she bit her lip, wrinkling her nose in a coy smile. "You know, if you moved your hips a fourth of an inch, this would be a whole other situation and I'd be feeling _much_ better…"

Toby chuckled and kissed her temple once. "Nice try. Bed. Sleeping will put your mind at ease."

"Uhm, I think my suggestion would put my mind at ease _much_ better…" Spencer disagreed.

"Juliet, when are you going to learn – you can't keep climbing up ladders and balconies if you don't sleep first."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure they didn't sleep _at all_ the first three acts of the play…until their staged-slash-actual death, or course."

"Such a shame that you sprung for the education degree – you would have been such a good lawyer."

"Are you saying that I'm a good arguer?"

"I've told you before Spencer – you're not just a _good_ arguer; you're the _best."_

"And I assume that's supposed to make me feel better?"

"Well, I can tell you're smiling. Seems to be working like a charm."

"Alright, come here, you…" Spencer turned over her shoulder, "If you think I'm sleeping _now_ you couldn't be more wrong…"


	13. The Bitch Is Back

Chapter 13:

And The Bitch Is Back

"You know, Spencer, the way you _play _this game is by _spelling actual words_." Toby remarked, yanking the refrigerator door open and peering through the kitchen doorway at her. He arched an eyebrow.

Spencer held up her index finger, "Ingenious moves take time, Romeo. Not everyone can crank out made-up words and somehow manage to pass them off as proper English in a matter of seconds."

"Yeah, well, it's a talent." Toby chuckled as he reached into the fridge and pulled out a carton of milk.

Spencer furrowed her eyebrows and concentrated hard on the seven letters facing her from their little holder in from of the half-filled game board. So far, the words "ambidextrous," "belligerent," and "obsequious" were poorly beaten out by the cleverly placed words "spiderman," "twinkie," and "teriyaki."

"Be careful there, Spence, if you keep making that face, it's going to stick like that." Toby grinned as he opened the milk carton.

"Ha-ha, very fu – wait, what are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" Toby asked, raising the carton to his mouth.

"No, no! Put that down!" Spencer shrieked, getting to her feet.

"Why? Did you poison it or something?" Toby asked, elevating it to his view, and closing one eye to peek into the opening in suspicion.

"No, of course not, but…" She stepped around the coffee table and entered the kitchen. "You're not going to _drink _that straight from the _carton_, are you?"

"Uhm…I'm guessing no?" He asked.

Spencer snatched the carton from his hand. "You don't…drink like this all the time, do you?"

"Uh…."

"Ew! And to think that I had a cup of this stuff not an hour ago! Why haven't you said anything?"

"Well, I didn't think you _minded_ swapping spit with me when you had your _tongue_ down my throat not twenty minutes ago!"

"Yeah, but that's _different_!" Spencer stuttered, her eyebrows knit incredulously.

"How so?" Toby snorted.

"I don't…I don't _know_, it just is!" She slammed the carton down on the kitchen counter. "Alright, out with it: what else do you do that I don't know?"

"Oh you know, comb strip clubs, go clubbing on the weekends, murder animals in dark alleyways, nothing big."

"I'm serious, Toby."

"Yeah, too much." Toby teased, still ever-so-chill.

"I'm not kidding. That's absolutely _revolting_."

"What, are you afraid I'm going to give you _cooties?"_

"Very funny. It's so germy! What, were you raised in a pen with the pigs?"

"No, but I think Jenna was the next closest thing."

That made Spencer laugh, in spite of herself. "Really? I always thought she was more of a lion-type…"

Toby laughed and gripped her hips, lifting her so that she was situated on the countertop. Her legs hung on either side of his waist. "Alright, you, come here. Give me your germs."

Spencer snickered. "You are _disgusting_." She smiled as he leaned in to kiss her.

"Says the girl who burps openly during Friday night movies." He replied against her mouth.

"Shut up and just give me your germs already."

"So _now_you're okay with it? Bipolar much?" Toby kissed the tip of her nose.

"Hey, it was just a suggestion. If you really want, we can go back to the Scrabble game. I think the letters are getting lonely…." Spencer teased as he kissed beneath her jaw.

"Oh yes, those poor things…" Toby pressed his lips to the space above her collarbone where her pulse thudded beneath her skin. "Maybe you should just give up. We both know I'm going to win."

"Win what? The game, or the argument?"

"Well, I guess that's up to you. Whichever you wish to continue with."

"A-L-R-I-G-H-T J-U-S-T S-H-U-T U-P A-N-D K-I-S-S M-E A-L-R-E-A-D-Y." Spencer spelt out.

Toby chuckled. "You are such a G-O-O-F-B-A-L-L."

"S-M-A-R-T A-S-S…" Spencer muttered as he ran his hands through her curls and finally captured her lips with his own.

* * *

><p>"Look, I'm just saying, we should tell Jason about this. Maybe he'll know what to do. He's a guy. Maybe he can talk to Wren for you." Spencer said into her cell phone receiver, attempting to hold the phone between her shoulder and ear while piling her mound of notepads and textbooks into her shoulder bag. Monday morning classes came early, and Bree had already left for coffee, so she was left alone to drag herself around her dorm.<p>

"I just don't think that he needs to be dragged into this. I already told Mom and that felt like too much. I feel like the whole world knows. Lately, I feel like people have been looking at me funny." Melissa replied on the other end.

"Melissa, no one's looking at you funny."

"Still. And Jason _just_ got released from the hospital and back into the old DiLaurentis house. His mind is frazzled. Maybe Toby can talk to Wren."

"Oh, yeah." Spencer rolled her eyes sardonically. "And maybe while he's at it he can ram his truck repeatedly into a brick wall."

Melissa sighed. "Fine. Tell Jason. But I don't want to be the one to tell him. I'm busy today. Mom's taking me to get an ultrasound."  
>"And where does Wren think you're going?" Spencer asked, locking her dorm room behind her and balancing her textbook on her knee.<p>

"I could disappear off the face of the planet for a year and a half and he wouldn't even notice I was gone." Melissa replied.

"Why can't Franco take you?"

"He's working today. Just – just tell Jason if you really want to. But don't tell him to talk to Wren until I figure out some stuff first."

"Alright." Spencer replied. She hurried out into the parking lot to where her car was parked, all lonely by itself. Unlocking it, she tossed her bag and textbooks onto the passenger's seat and stuck the key in the ignition. "I gotta go Melissa – class starts in ten."

"Fine. Call me after you've told Jason."

"Will do."

* * *

><p>"Jason. Jason?" Spencer rapped her knuckles on the wooden front door of the old DiLaurentis house. Despite maintaining a full-time job in Philly, Jason still inhabited his old family house and had been released to come home from the hospital the previous day.<p>

"Hello? Are you home?" She called. She stepped back a few feet on the porch and furrowed her eyebrows. The cream-colored curtains blew a few inches out of the open windows beside the porch. Just as she was going to knock on the door again, it opened.

"Ja –" Spencer started, but her words got chocked in her throat when she saw who stood in the doorway.

"Spencer." Jenna's Cheshire-cat-like grin spread across her face and she addressed her with her fully-functioning green eyes.

"Wha – what are you _doing_ here?" She choked out. "I thought you would have been out of Rosewood by now."

"Turns out I was able to make other living arrangements."

"I – " Spencer began, but Jason suddenly appeared in the doorway beside Jenna.

"Hey." He said, "What's up?"

"Uhm." Was all Spencer could utter.

"Here, I'll go grab a shower." Jenna told Jason, who nodded. "Spencer." She smiled coyly, before disappearing into the darkened house.

"What the _hell _is she doing here?" Spencer whispered through her clenched teeth when she was certain Jenna was out of hearing range.

"She needed a place to stay." Jason shrugged. He stepped out onto the porch and closed the door behind him. "What's up?"

"Wha – what's up? What's up is that you have a crazy person inhabiting your home on your second day back!"

"I told you – she needed someplace to crash."

"And you just…_let her in?"_

"Spence, she didn't have anywhere else to go."

"Oh boo-hoo, cry me a river. I'll remember that next time I have that reoccurring nightmare where she helped Garrett turn us into the cops."

"That was _junior_ _year_ of _high school_, Spencer."

"So?"

"Look, you may not know it, but Jenna and I have been through a lot together. With everything with Garrett and Ian, I'm really the only person she has left to trust."

"And you don't think that it's the slightest bit weird that a younger girl is _living_with you? What are people going to think?"

"I don't know." Jason shrugged. "And honestly, I don't care."

"Jason, in this town…people talk."

"Yeah, I know. But that didn't stop you from dating Toby all these years."

"That's different." Spencer said coolly.

"How so? Toby and Jenna both have a rep having to do with Ali."

"Toby never hurt us intentionally."

"Look, Spencer, I really just…don't want to talk about this anymore. Unless Jenna does something to make me believe that she's a threat to me or you, she can stay here as long as she wants."

Spencer sighed and clenched her eyes shut, crossing her arms and shaking her head vigorously. "I don't condone this behavior."

Jason shrugged. "I'm sorry. I really am. This isn't about hurting you. But I understand how it feels to feel like you've got nowhere else to go."

Spencer let out the breath she had been holding and shook her head again. "Fine. Fine."

Jason leaned back against the door. "What did you come here to tell me?"

"Uh…you know…it's not important." Spencer decided, batting her hand as if to ward it away.

"You sure?"

Spencer nodded. "Yeah. I'll…I'll see you for drinks on Thursday."

"Alright." Jason nodded. "See you around, Spence."

"See you." She waved, her face still a mask of thought.

She was already at the last stair of the porch by the time he had shut the door behind him.

**finally on summer break! that means faster updates! yay! 12 daysss! Live. Love. Spoby. - AJ**


	14. Myrtle Beach Take Two

Chapter 14:

Myrtle Beach Take Two

"That just doesn't make any _sense_, Spencer. Why in the world would Jason let Jenna Cavanaugh – "

"_Marshall."_ Spencer corrected her harshly for the fifth time since their phone conversation had began.

"Whichever. It doesn't make sense for Jason to let Jenna _Marshall_ stay at his house. People are going to think that he's screwing her for sport!"

Spencer snorted. "I know. I told him that. But he "doesn't care" I guess."

Melissa sighed. "Whatever."

"So, how was your ultrasound?" Spencer asked absentmindedly. After meeting with Aria to discuss what band would be performing at her wedding, Spencer had accepted her mother's request of staying in her old room for the night. Melissa was on her way home from the pharmacy, and had told Wren that she, too, was staying the night at her parents' house. Of course, it wasn't the most _responsible _choice to leave Taylor with Wren for another whole evening, but Melissa said that she needed "time to think" and that was enough for Wren. Spencer was starting to suspect that Wren knew just what was going on, but was happier swallowing the lies than looking too closely.

Veronica had thought it would be good for Melissa to have Spencer sleeping down the hall from her once more, even if it was just for a night. However, the great plan-maker failed to show up due to a late meeting. So by herself, in the midst of the November rain, Spencer curled up in her old red chair, dressed in ratty sweats like she was in high school again. She absently picked at her fingernails while Melissa responded:

"Good, good. The baby is…healthy. I'm only a few weeks along, though." Melissa replied.

"That's good. Have you…figured out what you're going to tell Wren yet?" She asked.

"Not really. I'm still thinking about it. But, speaking of Wren…I think I'm going to stay at home tonight instead."

"What?" Spencer's head fell back against the back of her chair. "Are you kidding me? That means I'm alone until Mom gets home? She says she's going to be out until at least one in the morning, working on the case!"

"I'm sorry." Melissa replied. "But I just think that Taylor needs her mom tonight – what with the thunder storm and everything."

"Yeah, you're right." Spencer sighed. "I'll just…wait up until Mom gets home. Watch a movie or something."

"Well, feel free to go back to Toby's."

"No point." Spencer sighed. "He's staying at a hotel in Pittsburg. Mr. St. Clair has him working on a neighborhood development out there. So he's gone until Wednesday."

"You could go back to your dorm?"

"Nah. Bree's probably going to be asleep and I don't want to wake her up. And plus…I don't want to drive all the way back to campus in this weather."

"Alright, your choice. I'm pulling into the driveway now. I'll call you tomorrow, Spence."

"Yeah, tomorrow. Night, Melissa." Spencer sighed and hung up the phone.

She promptly slid off of the chair and, after a moment of contemplation, grabbed _Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants_ and headed popped the DVD into the old Blu-Ray player. Since their daughter's move to college, Veronica and Peter had somewhat transformed her room into a home theater, replacing the bed with a fold-out futon and slapping a huge flat-screen on the wall. Her trophies, metals, books, and pictures had been loaded up into large white boxes and stored in her now bare closet.

Spencer sighed and flopped down on the open futon that had been prepared for her by her mother and watched as the opening credits rolled and Alexis Bladel and Blake Lively took the screen.

* * *

><p>Of course, her resolution to stay awake until one a.m. failed miserably as her eyelids began to droop not ten minutes into the film. Within the first two scenes, she was out like a light. Thunder clapped in the background and some, reoccurring dream cycled through her head – the same one that had been with her since her years of running from A and Alison's death. She tossed a turned for a bit before a loud thump from outside her window caused her to jerk awake so fast she tweaked her neck.<p>

"Ow!" She exclaimed, raising a hand to her aching neck. "Dammit…" She growled, sleepily wiping spit off her face and swinging her legs off of the bed. The movie was long over and had resorted back to the home menu. Spencer squinted to see her bedside clock; it was exactly 11:59. She groaned and got up, her feet hitting the ice-cold wooden floor.

The storm was still raging outside, and she jumped when she heard another thump against the window, behind her closed curtains.

"Hello…?" She asked hesitantly. "Mom…mom are you home?" She called down the hall, but received no answer. Her dream was still running through her head as she turned towards the window. Another thump rang out from the other side, and as she cautiously neared it, she feared that she was about to experience a Twilight-Zone-Gremlin-On-The-Wing-Of-The-Plane moment.

But if Spencer Hastings was one thing, it was that she was never a coward. She closed one eye and leaned away from the window as she threw the curtains open and braced herself for whatever was causing the loud thumping. When nothing physically struck her, she opened one eye and carefully leaned towards the closed window, hearing the floorboards groan beneath her.

When she finally opened both eyes, she peered out into yard, squinting hard against the contrast of harsh rain and the occasional thunder. She pressed her face against the glass and suddenly, a pang of lightning clashed through the air, illuminating the grass outside. "What the –" She groaned and forcefully unlocked the window, opening it quickly and leaning out.

Sure enough, there he was. Standing there in the middle of the rain, soaking wet in his black t-shirt and jeans, without a care in the world.

"_Toby?"_ She exclaimed over the rainfall. "What the hell? I thought you were in Pittsburg!"

"Interesting, isn't it?" Toby replied simply, smiling up at her. Luckily, the second floor wasn't _that_ far off the ground. She didn't have too much of a problem hearing him over the rainfall and occasional thunder.

"Explain yourself!" Spencer leaned slightly out the window. "Why did you lie? It's the middle of the night – and it's raining cats and dogs. "

"What's interesting about that theory is that it's exactly 12:00 in the morning, the sixth of November."

"Our….shit." Spencer clapped a hand over her forehead. "Our anniversary. Why didn't you remind me? I've been so busy with the wedding and Jason and…I'm so sorry!"

Toby simply grinned and shook his head. "Well, at first I was going to surprise you by taking you to Myrtle Beach. But then I realized that scaring you shitless in the middle of the night would be better."

"Oh, and I'm sure that your old ingenious plan involved renting out your old family beach house and seducing me into sleeping with you in front of the fire?" She replied, unable to keep the smile from gracing her lips.

"Hey, I try." Toby shrugged, chuckling. "But you gotta admit – this brings back memories."

"Like what? Of dragging me out my window every night and robbing me of my precious sleep?"

"Oh, like you were fighting it. Try this on for size – 'Oh, Toby, come sit with me in your trunkbed to star gaze, even though it'll throw your back out for a week, but that's okay, because the Big Dipper is looking sparkly tonight!'"

"Oh please, I never said that!"

Toby snorted and shook his head. "Alright, Juliet, are you gonna come down here and kiss me in the rain like we did in Myrtle Beach? Or are you already having too much fun watching me freeze my ass off?"

"Well, as fun as this is…I'm a sucker for a fairytale romance…" Spencer shook her head, already leaning away from the window, shutting it and sliding on her fuzzy socks down the hall and tripping down the dimly lit staircase, towards the double doors that opened into the terrace. Tugging on the sneakers she had left by the door, she ducked out into the rain, rounding the side of the house into the drenched lawn. There he was, right where she saw him last, in the midst of the occasional thunder and pouring rain.

Spencer gave a coy smile, "So, should I angrily yell at you to set the angsty mood, or…?"

"Shut up, Spencer…" Toby shook his head, smiling as he wrapped an arm around her waist, and pulled her tight against him, encasing her in his warmth. She smiled as his soft breath warmed her face and he pushed a strand of wet hair from her face. She stretched up on her toes and kissed his smile, sighing as he cupped her face and the warmth of his kiss traveled down to her toes, protecting her against the chill of the rain.

Of course, the intent of the kiss was sweet and soft, but it quickly turned deep and ardent; Toby lifted Spencer up and she wrapped her legs around his torso, his tongue delving into her mouth, and she groaned. He raked his hands through her mess of wet chestnut hair, and she grabbed fistfuls of his soaked t-shirt. She gasped as his mouth broke away from hers, moving down her throat, towards the indentation above her collarbone, where her pulse thudded beneath her skin. "Living room?" She whispered.

"Living room." He agreed.

* * *

><p>After a rather angsty, <em>Notebook<em>-like love-making in front of the fire place – not unlike the encounter they had had in South Carolina junior year – they curled up beneath a knitted blanket, their heads propped up against the burlap-sheathed couch that Spencer's parents had kept all these years.

"I feel like a teenager." Spencer smiled as she let her fingers run along Toby's palm.

"Fun, isn't it? Forgetting about the worries of…being an adult."

"What adult? You're a little kid trapped under a layer of six-pack and deceiving blue eyes." Spencer teased.

"Am not." Toby poked her in the ribs. She squirmed, giggling into his bare chest.

"Oh, please, Toby. Two weeks ago, when we were doing the dishes after dinner and you picked up the faucet and sprayed me with water like you were James Bond!"

"Hey, just because I'm an adult, doesn't mean I can't be young at heart."

She shook her head and curled up closer to him, his fingers intertwining with hers a little tighter. She sighed as he playfully tickled her ankles with his toes and she stretched up to kiss him softly. Her phone beeped from her jean pocket, strewn a few feet away in a heap with Toby's t-shirt.

"Mm…" Spencer groaned, squinting at the screen. "It's my mother. She says…she's not going to be home for another hour. She says that she thinks I'm sleeping, but wants to let me know anyway."

"Wow. One thing that never changes – your parents pretty much live everywhere _but_ here." Toby chuckled, running his fingers slowly through her damp curls.

"Oh please, like your parents are so homely. For the first two years we dated, I'm wasn't sure they even existed." Spencer replied, shaking her head.

"Well, they _did_." Toby softly played with her fingers, bringing them up to his lips and kissing her knuckles gently. "You know my favorite memory about high school is?"

"No, no, no, lemme guess!" Spencer insisted. "Uhm, when I bought you your truck? Uhm, no, when you got your own loft above the Brew. No, no! When you got your GED!"

Toby chuckled into her hair. "Nope, nope, and nope. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The day you came to tutor me is most definitely the best memory. After that day, my life has been nothing but better."

"Oh please. I put you through hell and back. I'm more trouble than I'm worth."

"That is _not_ true. And the best things are worth the wait." Toby smiled and pressed his lips into her hair softly.

Spencer smiled softly. "I love you."

"I know." He murmured, squeezing her palm. "Happy anniversary, Spence."

"Happy anniversary, Toby."

**ahh thanks so much for all the support my loves! shout out to Breedom2Be, my baby Bree whom I love beyond words. girly, you are my forever and always. the spencer to my toby. my bestie for eternity 33**

**ZOMG DID U SEE THAT SPOBY LAST NIGHT? SEXY. AS. HELL.**

**Live. Love. Spoby.**

**AJ**


	15. The Monsters Are Due On Marshall Street

Chapter 15:

The Monsters Are Due On Marshall Street

"You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you let me do it _by myself_." Spencer sighed, stretching her thin frame to its extent as her fingertips entrapped the edge of the light bulb and she let out a soft 'gotcha!'

Toby chuckled beneath her, his arms still wrapped snuggly around her legs, making it almost impossible to concentrate. "But would it be as _fun_?" He asked, not making any move to disentangle himself from her.

Spencer let out an exasperated sigh as her fingertips slipped from the light bulb, letting them fall against her thighs with a sharp _smack_. "You're making this very difficult." She complained.

"Hey, it was your decision to do some spring cleaning – which, may I add, is supposed to be done when it's _actually spring._ Not the _middle of November."_

"Only because I did a _faceplant_ into your _closet_ because you haven't replaced the light bulb in God-knows-how-long."

Toby chuckled, shaking his head and smiling. He was situated against a low shoe-shelf in the semi-walk-in closet of the master bedroom in his apartment, his arms wrapped around Spencer's sweatpant-clad legs as she stretched on her toes atop a kitchen table chair, her fingers grasping anxiously for the long-dead light bulb in the closet's high ceiling.

"You _could_ point the flashlight, you know…"

"Spencer, it's in the middle of the day. You should be able to see fine."

"Well, I can't. You can take me to a zillion eye doctors but they'll all say the same thing and I am right now – it's too freaking dark in here!"

"Which is why you should change the light bulb." Toby teased, toying with her.

"That's what I – oh, good God, Cavanaugh, you are just…"

"Hilarious?"

"I was going for 'on my last nerve' but…"

Toby chuckled again and peered up at her. When she rose once more to reach for the light, the hem of her tank top riding up, he leaned in and kissed her stomach, over her bellybutton. She giggled and stumbled back, but his firm grip of her legs kept her from toppling over. "Gah! Stop it!" She said between laughs as he blew a raspberry on her belly, "You know I'm ticklish!"

"That's why this is so fun." Toby grinned evilly, and reached down to tug her shirt back into place.

"You know what? Now I'm going to make _you_ do this." She said, putting her hands on his shoulders and tugging at him until he let go.

"Fine." Toby shrugged, still ever-so-chill. Without warning, he got into a standing position, and wrapped his arms around her knees once more, but this time, ducking down to hoist her over his shoulder, narrowly missing knocking her head against the closet wall. Spencer yelped in surprise, but before she could voice a complaint, he set her safely on her feet outside the closet. Moving the chair aside, he stretched up on his tiptoes and unscrewed the light bulb with ease, setting it down on the top of the shoe shelf and quickly replacing it with a new one. Immediately, the light glowed to life, illuminating the closet.

Toby smiled and turned to her, gently ruffling her hair, "Done and done."

"I…you…ughh!" Spencer groaned in exasperation. "You, Toby Cavanaugh, are _terrible_…" Spencer turned and headed out of the closet, through the bathroom, Toby at her heels, still chuckling, completely amused with himself.

"And, you, Spencer Hastings, will have to learn one day that you don't need to win at _everything _you _ever do_. It was _changing a light bulb_, for crying out loud!" Toby laughed.

Spencer sighed and stopped when she reached his unmade bed, silk white sheets still strewn across the mattress. She shook her head and couldn't stop a soft smirk from gracing her lips.

"Alright. But I'll get you back by beating you at Scrabble tonight." She turned around, back against the bed. He was right behind her, still smiling.

"Scrabble on a _Thursday_ night? Wow, my, my, Miss Hastings, getting edgy aren't we?" He teased, leaning in so that she was pinned against the bed. He placed a soft kiss on her nose, "As much as I'd love to, I might be a little late. I promised Jason I'd help him move around some couches to make room for some new things."

Spencer's face turned somber at his words. "Yeah, _Jenna's_ things!" She exclaimed.

Toby shook his head and sighed. He pushed a few strands of hair from her cheek and tucked them behind her ear, "I know you hate it, Spence, but Jason really needs help."

Spencer sighed, shaking her head. "Alright. For Jason. My brother with poor judgment." She snorted. "Okay, no more classes for the day, but I promised I'd meet Em for coffee – she leaves tomorrow."

"Tell her I'll drive her to the airport in the morning." Toby replied.

She nodded. "Will do." She smiled softly, leaning in to kiss him softly, just for a second. "See you tonight."

"It's a date." He wrapped his arms around her middle.

She nodded and stepped away from him. Without warning, she socked him, hard, in the shoulder.

"Hey!" Toby protested, rubbing the place where she had punched him, "What was that for?"

"For being a know-it-all, Mr. Fixit." She replied wickedly, wrinkling her nose in an evil smirk. She gathered her bag from the bed. "Toodles." She waved her fingers at him as she broke free and headed for the bedroom doorway.

"Perfectionist!"

"Love you, too!" She called over her shoulder on her way out.

* * *

><p>"Good <em>God<em>, Bree, if I have to walk in on you watching _Grey's Anatomy_ reruns _one more time_…." Spencer rolled her eyes as her roommate scrambled for the remote and flicked the TV off, nearly toppling off her bed in the process. "The show's been over for more than a year!" She shook her head, heading towards her closet to grab a pair of jeans.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it!" Bree replied, sticking out her lower lip in a pout. "I just miss it, okay? And hey, you still watch _Gossip Girl_some nights and talk to Chuck and Blair as if they are going to jump out of the TV screen."

"You don't understand what they had!" Spencer exclaimed defensively, although the t-shirt constricting her body as she hastily tried to pull it over her head muffled her voice.

She could hear Bree snicker across the room as she shifted off the bed to put the DVD back in its case. "So, are you up to get a bite to eat?"

"Well, I promised I'd meet Emily before she left tomorrow…but feel free to tag along. I'm sure Em wouldn't mind." Spencer answered, now successfully changing into a pair of black jeans and a cream blouse.

"Awesome." Bree smiled. "Just give me a sec to put on some pants." She said, gesturing towards the grey sweats she wore. She headed over so that she stood in her closet doorway. "So, question for you…."

"Yeah?"

"How long have you and Toby been going out?"

"It was four years on Tuesday. Not counting the few months we were broken up, though."

"Uh-huh. And Aria's been around here and yacked about you two enough times for me to know that he's pretty much the only Romeo who's ever going to touch your heart."

"Have you been listening in on my phone calls…?"

"The point _is_," Bree insisted as she tugged on a pair of boots. "Is that you two are pretty much the fall-in-love-get-married-young-have-a-bunch-of-kids-and-grow-old-and-die-together-straight-out-of-a-Taylor-Swift-song kind of couple."

"So….?"

"So, what's the hold up?"

"Oh God," Spencer groaned, flopping down face first onto her unmade bed, "Did Hanna put you up to this?"

"No! And I'm just wondering!" Bree protested.

"Really, there's no rush. I'm not even twenty-one until January."

"So? The weirdos from Twilight were like, twelve."

"Eighteen."

"Close enough."

Spencer sat up, running a hand through her hair.

"I mean, really, you practically _live_ at his apartment, he's _all _you ever think about, and the nights that you aren't with him, you talk to him on the phone. You're practically married as it is, so why not make it official?"

Spencer shook her head. "Come on, we're going to be late meeting Em."

"Think about it Spence – you're only twenty once! Live it up!"

"By _getting married?_ Bree, I think you have that speech backward." She replied, grabbing her bag and heading for the door, her roommate at her heels. "I think you're supposed to be talking me _out_of getting married young, not_ into_ it."

"Well, all I know is that you guys have the best romance since Meredith and Derek."

"Did you seriously just compare Toby and me to a fictional couple?" Spencer asked, arching her eyebrow as she opened the door, holding it open for Bree.

"Fine, since Chuck and Blair."

Spencer rolled her eyes. "Still fictional."

"It doesn't mean their love isn't real!" Bree exclaimed, locking the door behind them. "Say what you want, but we all know Spoby is just footsteps away from tying the knot."

"_Spoby?_ Why has that phrase become such a regular vocabulary word amongst my friends…?" Spencer muttered under her breath.

* * *

><p>"Wow, that's beautiful." Emily smiled, peering at Spencer over the screen of the iPhone, "It's so Aria."<p>

"Isn't it?" Spencer nodded, taking the phone when Emily handed it back to her. "It took her a while to decide, but that's the one she wants."

"Wow, you must have spent hours in vintage wedding shops all over Pennsylvania."

"Definitely. Thanks, Bree." Spencer nodded to her roommate as she joined their table, handing each of them their order of coffee.

"Oh, Aria's wedding dress? Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous." Bree said, sipping her latte.

"Alright, now that the engagement party is done, I'm now faced with my next two challenges: the bridal shower and bachelorette party."

"Oooohh…" Bree teased, her eyes wide in faux surprise, "The Wedding Games step it up a notch. May the odds be ever in your favor, Spence."

Emily laughed and took a bite out of the croissant she bought. "Have you seen Jason lately?"

"Not since Jenna moved in." Spencer sighed. "Toby's over there right now. He's helping him move around some stuff to make room for her."

"And are you okay with that?" Emily asked cautiously.

"Well, what choice do I have?" Spencer shrugged, furrowing her eyebrows. "I mean, Jason _is_ my brother, and Jenna _is_ his step-sister. And he's just trying to be a decent human – even if it means being a stupid one, two."

"I never met Jenna. What's she like?" Bree asked, curling her lip like she smelled something sour.

"The epitome of crazy and a pit of fiery rage harnessed into a tiny, ex-blind brunette." Spencer answered bluntly.

"Wow. She sounds delightful." Bree said, her eyes dropping to her coffee cup in her hands, "And she's Toby's step-sister?"

"Uh, yeah." Spencer sighed. "But…"

"Uhm, Spencer doesn't love to talk about that subject." Emily muttered.

"Oh…" Bree nodded. "Sorry."

"It's no big deal. Just something stupid that happened in the past." Spencer waved it off, like it had been nothing. "Anyway, let's talk about something else. Em, have you talked to Samara a lot recently?"

A smile graced Emily's lips – the kind of smile she used to reserve only for Maya, years ago.

"Oooh, look at you, all smiley!" Bree nudged Emily with her shoulder, giggling.

"She's good." Emily replied, "She wants to see me when I come back to visit in a few weeks for Christmas. She thinks it would be fun to go someplace fun together."

"Ooooooooooh!" Spencer and Bree chorused suggestively.

Emily blushed. "Stop it! We're starting out slow, okay? Of course, my mom is all too happy about me getting back together with her. Although, Samara was pretty much the only girl my mother actually _liked_ who I dated…" Spencer remembered Pam Fields' strong dislike for Maya's bluntness, and uncouthness when forced in a public situation.

"Well, I'm happy for you, Em." Spencer smiled, reaching out to grab her friend's hand and squeezing it. "Looks like you might have found your Romeo – or Juliet in this case."

Emily laughed softly. "Like you did?"

"Well, my Romeo is just a guy in a tool belt who likes to build rocking chairs, and houses, and tables, and makes me smile when I'm sad."

"_And_ quote Shakespeare." Bree pointed out.

"_And_ beat your ass at Scrabble." Emily joined in.

"_And_ buy you roses, just because."

"_And_ play lullabies for you when you can't sleep."

"_And – _"

"Alright, alright, I get it. Toby does a lot of romantic things. But that's not why I love him."

"Well then, why do you?" Bree teased, batting her eyelashes.

"Well, you tell me, Miss Love Doctor. Why does Meredith love Derek?"

"Well, obviously," Bree rolled her eyes as if it were obvious, "for the same reason Chuck loves Blair!" She replied, poking her in the shoulder with her index finger.

"Uh, am I missing something?" Emily asked, her face a mask of confusion.

Spencer and Bree burst out laughing. Spencer set down her coffee, "Oh Em, go get obsessed with a fictional love story; then come try to convey your feelings to us. Trust me, there are no words."

* * *

><p>The streetlights in Rosewood turned on earlier in the day as winter crept nearer, the town already knee-deep in November. It was dark and cold by the time Spencer got into the passenger's seat of her car, letting Emily drive and Bree stretch her feet out in the backseat. They rounded the corner, away from Lucky Leon's Cupcakes and back towards Emily's parents' house.<p>

"Alright, so we'll just drop you off and then head back to the dorm to drop Bree off. I have a Scrabble date at Toby's." Spencer said.

"Wow, you crazy kids…" Bree teased from the backseat, absentmindedly twirling a lock of her hair. Emily laughed from behind the wheel as she turned the darkened corner onto Spencer's street.

"Shut up…" Spencer sighed, peering out the window. "I wonder if Toby's still at Jason's." She wondered out loud. "Maybe I should call…Bree, can you hand me my purse?"

"Where is it?"

"Behind Emily's seat." Spencer peered over her shoulder.

"Oh yeah, here it is – "

"Whoa, what's going on?" Emily asked suddenly. Spencer's head snapped up and followed Emily's line of vision, seeing an ambulance speed past them, siren's squealing.

"Hey, what's…where's it going…?" Spencer asked, knitting her eyebrows.

Emily drove the car further down the street, where the ambulance was heading, and then they saw it – an accident scene, about thirty people gathered around cones swathed in caution tape, creating a large circle around a police car. The people that were gathered around made a space for the ambulance to pass through, and it entered the scene of the accident.

"It's at Jason's house." Spencer whispered, and her heart fell into her shoes. "Stop the car, Emily." She said monotonely, unable to tear her gaze from the scene in front of her.

"Spencer – "

"Stop the car." She repeated, already undoing her seat belt. Emily parked along the curb and Spencer stumbled out of the car, moving like a zombie towards the scene. Was Jason…?

"Spencer." Emily called after her, and Spencer heard the sound of doors shutting behind her as she and Bree, too, got out of the car.

Spencer was hurrying now, heading straight for the crowd, fighting through them. Her eyes searched for any sign of blood, or worse, murder. She thought that the last time she would see an accident scene like that was when Maya's body was found. Nothing seemed brutally alarming, and she peered over the crowd, standing on her tiptoes to locate a body bag. Her heart thudded in her throat, and she spotted the ambulance close their back doors, having already loaded someone inside.

"Jason?" She murmured under her breath. "Jason? No, no, no…" This couldn't be happening. But he…he was _better_. He was fine when she last saw him. All she could think of was some brain damage kicking in, sending him to an early grave, and her anger and disappointment towards his decision of letting Jenna stay being the last thing she said to him. Bile rose in her throat, her stomach churning with acid. "Oh, God, no." Something inside her snapped. She fought hard through the crowd, elbowing her way through. When she reached the gate of caution tape, she gasped. She was able to see the porch, and Jason standing there, to her surprise, staring at the ambulance with his jaw set tight.

So if Jason wasn't, that meant…

Her heart stopped beating. Everything around her became fuzzy, like her ears were full of cotton balls, or the people chattering around her were speaking through pillows.

_Toby_.

Spencer gasped and began to stagger towards the ambulance, her mind whirling, a queasy feeling overcoming her.

"Hey, hey, please take a step back, Miss." A policeman appeared in front of her, "You cannot step onto the premises." His voice was echoey and sounded far away.

"I just, I have to, please…" But she was already trying to step over the caution tape. People blurred around her, and her vision clouded, creating an image of three wavering policemen, instead of one.

"Miss, please step back!" The policeman said forcefully, grabbing her shoulders, pressing her back.

"No, I need to get – " But his hold was too strong. "Toby!" She screamed, her voice raspy and broken. Hot tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over her cheeks as she gasped for breath and fought against the police officer's grip, reaching out a groping hand towards the ambulance as it began to drive away, as if she could stop it, reach it somehow. "No, no!" She screamed in a broken cry. She suddenly felt Emily's arms around her middle and Bree's hands on her shoulders behind her. "Toby! Toby!" She cried.

Jason peered over the crowd and his eyes zeroed in on her, hearing her cries. He hastily hurried down the porch stairs, towards her. He stood on the other side of the caution-taped cones, his hands reaching out for her, "Spencer, Spencer." He said soothingly, trying to calm her.

"It's…" She gasped, trying to speak through her strangled cries, "Toby's – " She felt Emily's grip tighten and the policeman continued to hold her at bay.

Jason shook his head, his eyebrows knit and his expression somber. "It's not Toby."

Spencer stopped and took a few deep breaths, attempting to steady herself. "Then who – "

Jason's eyes peered over her shoulder, watching the ambulance speed away, its sirens giving out screeches to alert the town. Tomorrow, everyone would know about the accident scene in front of Jason DiLaurentis, who just lost his sister five years ago, 's house. When his eyes finally returned to her frantic gaze, he sighed. "It's Jenna."

**alrighty guise, yep. so idk what else is new. once again, just a little shout out to my buddy bree, who is going to be working with me on another little climax of both our stories - something that starts in mine and continues into hers - so keep an eye out ;) thanks to all my reviewers - you make me truly inspired to write this.**

**live. love. spoby. - AJ**


	16. And We All Find Our Way Back Home

Chapter 16:

And We All Find Our Way Back Home

"_Come Josephine, my flying machine going up she goes, up she goes…_" Taylor's soft voice provided a rather eerie soundtrack for the otherwise silent and solemn setting. It was ten o'clock at night and seven figures, hunched with their disbelief and shock, loomed within the halls of Rosewood Community Hospital, the rest of it deserted. Every so often, an uncanny groan from a patient down the hall or the click of a doorway opening and closing would disturb the lulling silence, but otherwise, the atmosphere was shockingly frigid. It seemed odd, under the circumstances that they had all been in this very position multiple times – a few of them just a couple weeks ago – but Spencer knew why it was so different than the other occasions.

This wasn't an accident. This was on purpose.

"Taylor." Melissa softly hushed her daughter. Spencer peered up at her sister, who sat opposite to her, against the wall with Taylor tucked under her arm. Jason's footsteps echoed across the walls as he paced back and forth. Bree and Emily were leaning against the same wall Spencer was, the one that separated them from Jenna's hospital room.

Spencer's legs groaned out from under her as she stood up and crossed the room, her fingers slipping out of Toby's grasp. He peered up at her as she stepped over in front of Taylor, crouching before her niece, "What are you singing there, Taylor?"

"I don't know what it's called," The four-year-old shook her head, busily combing her fingers through her Barbie doll's bleach-blonde hair, "But they sang it on the boat movie when things got weally qwuiet."

Spencer met Melissa's gaze and they both chuckled. "You mean _Titanic?_"

Taylor nodded. "Yeah." She looked up at Spencer, "Aunt Thenther?"

"Yes, Jelly Bean?"

"What happened to Miss Jenna?"

Spencer sighed and peered over her shoulder at Toby, who still sat against the opposite wall of the hallway, his legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles. He met her gaze indifferently, taking a deep breath and shaking his head, somewhat exasperated. When she turned back to Taylor, she put her hands on her niece's knees. "Do you remember that woman, Gracie Lovat? The one who died last year?"

Taylor nodded.

"Do you remember how she died?"

Taylor nodded her head vigorously. "Mmm-hmm. Mommy said that Grathie was in a bad place. And she felt like she had no way out. She said she had….what was it, Mommy?"

"Demons, Taylor." Melissa replied softly, pursing her lips.

"Yeah. Grathie had demons." Taylor continued, "So she killed herthelf."

Spencer nodded softly, "Yeah. Well, Miss Jenna had demons, too."

She gasped, "Is Mith Jenna…?" Taylor's brown eyes grew wide and her eyebrows furrowed.

"No, no, honey. Miss Jenna isn't dead." Spencer reassured her. "Miss Jenna tried to hurt herself, though. She had a lot of problems going on in her life and they just…became too much for her."

Taylor's lower lip wobbled. "That's tho thad." She said, in an innocent, honest way that only a four-year-old could pull off.

"Yeah." Spencer said, the side of her mouth pulling up in a bittersweet expression. She reached out and softly stroked Taylor's hair. "I know."

A moment of silence settled over the room once more. The shrill ring of Emily's cell phone was the first to break the quiet. She fished it out of her pocket and answered it, "Hello? Mom? Yeah, yeah. We're at Rosewood Community. I know, I know. Alright, yeah. I'll be there." When she hung up, the rest of the group was peering up at her expectantly.

"My…my mom wants me to come home since I have an early flight tomorrow. She says I have to finish packing." Emily sighed.

Spencer nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, you should get some sleep." She turned back to Melissa, "Would you mind giving Em a ride home? And Bree a ride back to campus?" She asked. In any other situation, Melissa would have refused to drive all the way back to Hollis so late, but under the circumstances, she nodded. "Yeah, yeah sure. I should take Taylor home, too. Wren's working late here tonight. If you see him, tell him to head home as soon as he can." She said, "Come on, Taylor." Melissa got to her feet, pulling Taylor up into her arms so that she rested on her hip. "Call you tomorrow, Spence."

Spencer nodded. "Yeah." She replied monotone.

Toby got to his feet behind her, nodding towards Emily, "I'll pick you up tomorrow morning for the airport."

Emily scratched the back of her head, beneath her ponytail and nodded. "Yeah, thanks. See you then." And then she, Bree, Melissa, and Taylor walked stiffly down the hall towards the lobby, their footsteps echoing off the walls of the hall.

Spencer stepped back to the wall, next to Toby and let her head fall back against the hard glass of the window. The blinds were drawn, not allowing anyone even the slightest glance inside. But Spencer could practically feel Jenna's presence, in a haunting, lingering way that stuck to her skin like dust and invaded her thoughts. She knew that she was somewhere behind that door, confined to a bed, having been brought hurdling back to earth not an hour before.

Finally, Spencer gathered the nerve to confront the enormous elephant in the room, the one that was practically crushing them under its weight.

"What. Happened?" She asked coarsely, her voice barely above a raspy whisper. Although her near-panic attack visa vie the ambulance at her brother's house was over two hours in the past, she still felt the icy chill of its harshness coursing through her veins, spiking her blood, making her body run hot and cold at the same time.

Jason shook his head and let out a heavy sigh. "When Toby showed up…Jenna had already retreated up to her room. She said she had 'something to get done.' I assumed she meant getting some phone calls, or maybe some cleaning finished. Then Toby got there and we started out moving the couch out of the way to make room for Jenna's keyboard, and put together the grandfather clock she bought me for letting her stay. We realized that we were out of bolts to attach it to the wall. So Toby…ran out the hardware store, and I decided to make some soup for myself. When I yelled upstairs to ask if Jenna wanted any…no one answered. So I went up to her room and knocked on the door, but it opened and she wasn't there. So then I figured that she was in the bathroom. She must have…forgotten to lock the door, because when I knocked on that one…it opened, too." Jason closed his eyes tight before opening them once more, "I'd never…seen anything like it. At least not in person. She had…an orange empty bottle of pills, and a finished bottle of whiskey was in her hand. And uhm, the inside of her wrist had been cut several times. I saw that she had a boxing knife beside her, and there was a lot of blood on the tile. I figured that she started chasing the pills with alcohol, and when that didn't work fast enough, she just started…going at her wrist. I checked her pulse on her other hand and couldn't quite hear it, and she wasn't breathing." He shuddered, as if someone had poured ice down the back of his shirt, "I figured that Toby was still at the hardware store, so I called 911 and then the ambulance came to get her. The police showed up first, after I told him that I feared she might be dead. They asked about it being a murder, but I said it looked exactly like a suicide attempt."

"And they brought her here." Spencer nodded. She sighed. She opened her mouth to say more, but a doctor with blonde hair opened the door to Jenna's room and stepped out.

She smiled when she saw the three gathered there, "Hi. You must be the friends and family of Miss Marshall." Spencer resisted the urge to snort in disbelief. "Family" was hardly the word to describe Toby and Jenna's relation, and "friends" was pushing the envelope even more so.

"Uh, yeah." Jason replied, stepping closer to the doctor, "We are."

"I'm Tiffany Hale. I'm her doctor." She held out a hand to shake Jason's, then Toby's, and last, Spencer's.

Spencer gave the woman a quick once over: she was blonde and slender, with large blue eyes that addressed her with a sense of calmness. She looked like she was in her mid-to-late twenties, and she actually pulled off the green-scrubs-under-doctor-coat look pretty well. Bree would have connected her to one of the prettier actresses on _Grey's Anatomy_, had she been there a minute longer.

"So…how is she?" Jason asked hesitantly.

"Well, she's very, very lucky. In all honesty, it was nothing short of a miracle. When we got her in the ambulance, we tried CPR but it didn't have any effect. While some of our paramedics stopped the bleeding in her wrist, others worked the defibrillator. At one point, her heartrate was completely flatlined. Luckily, on our third try, we were able to get her heart going once more."

"So…she technically died, in the ambulance?" Toby asked, his voice quiet.

"For only a moment." Tiffany assured them, "But yes. She did."

"I'd say she was very lucky." An accented voice that Spencer fully recognized said, and Wren opened the door to Jenna's room and stepped out, behind Tiffany.

Spencer tried not to roll her eyes and wondered once more if there were _any_ other doctors in Rosewood…

"Nice work tonight, Dr. Hale." Wren grinned, gazing down at Tiffany.

Spencer had expected to see the usual reaction Wren got from nurses and female doctors: a flirty, desperate smile, a soft giggle, maybe even a corny twirling of a lock of hair, but Tiffany surprised her when she pinched up her nose slightly and even rolled her eyes a bit, looking stubbornly in the opposite direction.

Wren, not taking the hint as usual, merrily turned to the rest of them, "Hello, Spencer. Toby." Wren nodded to both of them, his signature grin on his lips. "How are you?"

"Don't you think that's kind of a silly question?" Jason asked.

Wren peered up at him, and a look of recognition flickered in his eyes. "Ah, yes, Jason. Nice to see you again." He stretched out his hand to shake and Jason obediently shook it.

Jason nodded and gave a small half-smile. "So, is she awake?"

Tiffany shook her head, "She's not comatose, but she's recovering. Give her a few hours to wake up. And she might be disoriented. Give her some time. If she really felt like death was the only way out, she was in a bad place. Do either of you know of maybe what could have caused this?"

Spencer and Jason looked at each other for a long moment before Spencer cleared her throat. "Well…her boyfriend recently left her, and she had no where else to go. I don't know the whole story, but that's why she moved in with Jason." She nodded over to her brother.

Jason sighed and shook his head. "I never…pegged her for someone who would do something like this."

Tiffany gave a wry, bittersweet smile. "Yeah. It's always unexpected." She sighed.

"I suggest that you three head home – it's getting late and you all probably need to sleep on things. We can talk about Jenna's arrangements in the morning." Wren said.

Spencer nodded. "Yeah, we'll be out of here soon." She reached down to pick up her jacket, which lied in a heap at her feet. The memory was still scorching through her brain, filling her thoughts. Piling into Jason's car. Skidding down the street behind the ambulance. Hastily dialing Toby's number. Gasping out what had happened. All seven of them shoving past the double doors of the hospital. Waiting anxiously in the lobby while Jenna was in the ER.

Spencer didn't know how long they were there for; but it felt like years. No one spoke. No one cried. Everyone was stoic, and no one knew exactly how to feel. As for Spencer, she counted each tick of the clock, as the seconds passed by, remembering every time Jenna had put her through hell. Made her feel eternally guilty for blinding her. Tearing at her already-broken heart by making her believe that she had won Toby over, in the months they spent apart. Getting Spencer and her friends to lie for her when they found out she could actually see. Every single time Jenna had proved herself to be nothing but a nightmare stared at her in the face, but somehow, Spencer didn't feel the hot, itchy blaze of anger she usually got. Spencer guessed that all it took was the thought of losing Jenna to make her see her in a totally different light.

"Oh, and Wren." Spencer said distantly, sliding her arms into her jacket. "Melissa says to head home as soon as you can." She peered up into Wren's eyes, addressing him seriously, "I think she and Taylor really need you tonight." She raised her eyebrows, waiting for his response.

Wren looked somewhat surprised and cleared his throat, his gaze dropping to his shoes, then back up to her face, "Uh, yes. Yes, of course." He cleared his throat once more. "Well, then. Goodnight, Spencer. Doctor Hale." He nodded toward Tiffany, who offered up no response. "Nice seeing you again, Jason. You, too, Toby." Then, he turned on his heel and stalked down the hall, turning a corner and disappearing amongst the subtle beeping of the heart monitors.

Spencer knit her eyebrows and peered over at Tiffany. "So, I'm guessing you aren't a fan of Dr. Wren?"

Tiffany snorted and rolled her eyes. "It's a long, long story." She shrugged. "You probably don't want to hear it."

The side of Spencer's mouth quirked up: a bittersweet smile. "I do. But maybe another time."

Toby squeezed her shoulders softly. "Come on, Spence. Let's go home."

She nodded and reached for Jason's hand, the three of them turning to walk slowly down the hall, taking their time, still trying to make sense of things. The smoke had cleared, and in the end, the only things left were them three, an ex-blind girl on a suicide mission, and the confusing way they were all connected to each other.

* * *

><p>"Toby?" Spencer whispered softly in the dark. "Are you asleep?"<p>

She could feel Toby sigh heavily beneath her, "Nope."

She was curled up against his side, her head resting on his chest, trying to fight away the lingering thoughts of the evening. "Did Jason tell you that I thought it was you in that ambulance?" She asked, her voice unsteady. She took a shaking breath to steady herself.

Toby's fingertips began to stroke her hair softly. "No." He said finally.

"Well, I did. And…I think it's been years since I was that scared." Spencer replied. "I didn't…know how to function. Have you ever had that moment? When everything in the world just fades away and in that one tiny second, your whole life comes crumbling down?"

Toby shook his head. "I honestly can't say I have; but I can imagine it." He shifted beneath her, shuffling the sheets as he sat up a bit against the pillows. She peered up at him, watching his expression. His eyes got a faraway look in them, and he stared at the ceiling. "I've considered it, once. A few years back…when Em lost Maya…she called me from Haiti; she said she needed someone to talk to, just for a little bit. I tried to sympathize with her, tried to understand what she was going through. But I realized that there was no possible way that I could understand that. I lost my mom when I was younger, but…that was different. With my mom…I'd known her as long as I could remember. I thought about what it would feel like to lose someone I love more than anything; someone who came into my life when I needed them most. Someone that you _choose_ to love. Someone like you." Toby shook his head. "And I couldn't think of anything worse." He let out a deep sigh and peered down at her. "I'm sorry that you had to feel like that."

"Well, I guess it doesn't matter now." Spencer shrugged, trying to pass it off like it was nothing, hoping that its lingering feeling inside her would fade. She laid her head back down on his chest. "I mean, you're safe, and that's what matters."

"It's crazy, isn't it?" Toby snorted. "I never thought that the possibility of losing Jenna would conjure up such an uproar. I mean, Jason was the closest one of us to liking her, and the rest of us just treated her like…"

"Like that old, crazy aunt that everyone is nice to at family reunions, but talk smack about any other time?" Spencer giggled.

Toby chuckled. "Yeah."

Spencer shook her head in awe. "What do you think ever…_possessed_ Jenna to do something like that?" She shuddered, the mental image of Jason finding her invading her brain.

"I don't know." Toby replied honestly. "I mean, I guess we didn't know how involved she was with that Mitch guy – or how broken she was when he left her."

"Maybe she'll talk to us about it. You know, when she comes…back to humanity again."

"Oh yeah, those heart-to-heart talks with Jenna…God, I live for those…" Toby rolled his eyes, and Spencer laughed at his sarcasm.

"Let's not think about it. Let's…talk about happier times." Spencer smiled, reached out to grasp his hand, running her fingertips over his palm.

"Alright. Maybe we should start with you're obsession with wearing _anything_ that belongs to me."

"Oh, hardly!" Spencer protested, knitting her eyebrows and looking up at him.

"Oh come on, Spence. This _morning_ you had breakfast in _my_ sweats and t-shirt, decided that my _cologne_ smells better than your perfume – which, by the way, isn't true – and wore _my_ tie with your shirt to your class today."

Spencer scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't pretend that you don't like it."

"I'm not saying that." Toby replied. "I'm just merely making an observation."

"Like you don't have quirks…"

"Well, I for one, am okay with not being the best at _everything I do."_

"Oh, no you're not! You care about being the best at everything, too. Even _changing a light bulb."_

"Still on that, huh?"

"I'm just saying: if you could have pointed the flashlight, I would have been able to do it just fine. Case closed."

"Alright, alright, you win." Toby chuckled, pulling her upward until he could laugh into her hair. "You light-bulb-changing-champ, you."

"Do you remember when Taylor was born?" Spencer inquired, her voice light and curious.

"Well, that's random."

"Do you?"

"Of course I do. It was the same day you had your appendix out. We were with your parents on our way home from your lake house your senior year for the weekend and we had to rush you to the hospital because of the pain in your side. Then your sister called your mom from your house and started going into labor." Spencer could feel Toby shake his head, "Man, if I thought I'd seen your dad nervous before…"

A small smile graced Spencer's face and she began to draw patterns on his t-shirt with her fingertips. "Yeah well – "

"Oh you didn't let me get to the best part yet!" Toby insisted, "And then when your surgery was over, you were so high off the anesthesia that when Hanna and I came into your hospital room, you proposed to me, and then two seconds later, you turned to Hanna and proposed to her!"

Spencer blushed at the memory, scowling, "Well, it was the Valium talking!"

"Well, I assumed so, seeing as you told Hanna that she was the light of your life and that you loved her so much that you couldn't stand the thought of not being with her every day for the rest of forever. Pretty sure you quoted _Twilight_ somewhere in there."

"Well, for all I know, you and Hanna could have gotten together four years ago and conjured this story up just to make me look stupid! I still don't believe I _proposed_ to Hanna Marin. Even if it was under the influence of wacky gas."

"Well, it actually came out like "Manna Harin," but I think we all understood what you meant. And by the time your parents came in to see you after Melissa had Taylor, you were already arranging Emily and Aria to be your bridesmaids at both ours and your and Hanna's wedding."

At that, Spencer laughed, covering her face with her hand. "Yeah, I don't remember anything from that day. Maybe it is better that I don't – if _that's _the kind stuff that was coming out of my mouth." She shook her head. "But I still wish I could have been there with Melissa – you know, fully there, not drunk off Valium and proposing to my friends."

"Hey, she knows that you would have been. And that you were there in spirit."

Spencer shook her head. "It's not just that, though. I wish I could have been there to see her face when the doctor laid Taylor in her arms. More than that…I wish I could have seen Wren's face."

"Uh…why?" Toby asked.

"Because if he looked at Taylor – and Melissa – the same way most devoted fathers do, then I'd know that there was something in there marriage worth preserving. That it could be enough to help them pull through." She shrugged. "I mean, with everything going on between Franco, Melissa, Wren, the baby, and poor little Taylor, it doesn't feel like there's any easy answer. But I mean…Wren and Melissa were two pieces of a puzzle that were bent out of shape and were never meant to be put back together again. Taylor is the only thing that's held them together all these years. And even now…it doesn't even feel like enough."

"Taylor will help them through. Just like it helps you get through the rough spots by thinking of…what was her name again?"

"You know what her name is." Spencer whispered, a small smile spreading across her face.

"Say it anyway."

Spencer sighed and shook her head, rolling her eyes. "Audrey Jane…" She smiled, rolling out the syllables.

"Yeah. That's it." Toby chuckled in her ear and stroked her hair softly. "I think they both love Taylor enough to try to make things work."

Spencer snorted. "I'm not so sure anymore."

"Spencer…" She felt Toby shake his head, "I want you to do something for me: stop worrying about everyone else. If it's not Melissa and Wren, it's Jason, or Aria, or Emily, and now Jenna. You aren't even thinking about yourself anymore."

"Yeah, well," She shrugged, "once you reach a certain age, you just…give all that up to help the people who need you."

"And I'm sure that God and everyone else appreciate that. But you just keep trying to make everyone else happy. I just want _you_ to be happy."

"Don't be silly." Spencer replied. "I have you; and as long as I can be sure of that, I'll always be happy."

Toby laughed, "Now you sound like _me_, Juliet."

Spencer's eyelids fluttered shut, her sleepiness catching up to her as she mustered up a soft giggle. "Well, you can't always be the romantic."

"Well, I still have the journal you wrote for me a few years back in my drawer. I think that that proves you're a pretty good romantic."

"Oh, God, don't even bring that up. Too embarrassing to think about. I sounded like a lovesick Nicholas Sparks."

Spencer could practically _hear_ Toby roll his eyes, and as he opened his mouth to argue, she reached up and put a finger to his lips, her eyelids falling completely shut. "Shhh…quiet down, Romeo. I'm doing what you said – thinking about myself. And I have class tomorrow. So shut up and let me fall asleep so I can dream about Audrey Jane and our Victorian house."


	17. Someone Like You

Chapter 17:

Someone Like You

_"God, it doesn't look like it'll ever even _stop_ out there." Spencer murmured, stumbling through the doorway and trying to shake off the droplets of water from her jacket. Behind her, Toby staggered into the house as well, trying to work his black, bent out of shape umbrella closed. Spencer giggled as he struggled, covering her mouth with her hand. "You, uh, want a little help there, slick?"_

_ Toby grunted and turned his head to peer up at her while she attempted to keep a straight face, "No thanks, I think I can close an umbrella by myself."_

_ "Well, contrary to your last statement, the umbrella seems to still be open." Spencer teased, kicking off her soaking wet sneakers. _

_ Toby snorted in reply and finally managed – with some effort and a tad bit of swearing – to get the umbrella closed and hung it from its handle on the coat rack by the door. "Ta-da. See? Done and done."_

_ "Well don't you dare tell me again that you aren't stubborn about being the best at everything, Mr. Fixit." Spencer replied, trying to wring the majority of the water out of her hair, peeling off her soaking wet socks._

_ Toby shed his hoodie, baring his drenched black t-shirt and approached the couch, setting his hand in the arm of it. "Wow. Haven't been back here in a while."_

_ "Yeah, well, you should probably get some of those wet clothes off before you sit down – you're already leaving a trail of rainwater on the floor." She tugged her sweater over her head and hung it up on the coat rack._

_ Toby peered over his shoulder at her, then back out the window where rain still fell hard, pelting against the window. _

_ "Wanna start the fire? I'm sure we have firewood in there from last time. It was warm last time we were here." Spencer opened the closet in the hallway, tugging out a few woolen blankets, tucking them under her arm. "Hellooo? Toby…? Earth to Cavanaugh. Come in, Cavanaugh. Do you read?"_

_ His eyes refocused on her, turning away from the window, "Hmm? Oh yeah, sure." He answered, crossing the room, his sneakers squeaking with the water they were filled with. He slid the matchbox off of the mantel, stopping to take a glance at his favorite picture frame above the fireplace. It displayed a snapshot of Spencer and Melissa, when the two were much younger, Spencer sporting the huge black-rimmed glasses she used to wear. He chuckled as he picked it up, noticing once again how happy they looked – Melissa's arm around her little sister, both of them laughing at something someone did that was clearly hilarious; maybe their mother had made a funny face behind the camera, or their father just told a joke. Both innocent looking, untouched by the confusion their fate beheld. He sighed as he set it back down on the mantel._

_ "Hey, so if you want, we can sleep in one of the upstairs bedrooms. But I probably want to take a shower first; I still have mud on my jeans. Or, we can sleep on the couch, although I'm not sure how comfortable you'd be snoozing on Hanna and Caleb's 'sacred ground.'" Spencer said behind him, setting the blankets down on the coffee table. He heard her approach him from behind, "Hey, what's wrong?"_

_ "Oh, nothing. Just…observing the photo work." He pointed to the picture of her and Melissa._

_ "Oh, God, don't remind me." Spencer groaned, falling back on her butt on the ottoman. "Those glasses were a bad move."_

_ "Aww, I think you looked cute." Toby chuckled as he crouched before the fireplace, opening the wire covering. He slid the matchbox open and struck one against the side, a flame sparking on its tip. He tossed it inside amongst the cinders and ashes, the coals slowly glowing red, a fire building on the wood._

_ "Yeah, if Albert Einstein was _cute_…" Spencer rolled her eyes. Toby laughed again and stood up, facing her._

_ "Well, it seems that the universe has planted us here for the night – having chased us off the road with the rain and thunder. As if Radley couldn't get any creepier – the storm pretty much turned it into a reenactment of _Shudder Island_." Toby shivered, slipping his fingers through hers._

_ She peered up at him, "Hmm…what to do, what to do? Alone in a house on the lake for the night? Just the two of us? Hmm…"_

_ "And I'm sure that we won't have service here, making it impossible to call Aria and fret about wedding details." Toby played along, his face mimicking convincement._

_ "Naturally. And we can't talk to Jenna about her problems, seeing that she isn't exactly talking. Besides, it would be a waste to drive back to Radley. And well, a suicide mission in this storm."_

_ "Of course. And I'm sure those wonderful textbooks of yours will still be waiting for you when you get back to campus tomorrow. So what to do, what to do…?" Toby wrapped his hands around hers, pulling her to her feet. "I think I might have a good idea…" He said softly, drawing her face closer, enveloping her soft, full lips._

_She sighed, laughing breathlessly between kisses, "Oh, do you now…?"_

_He didn't answer, but instead found her lips again, his tongue delving deep into her mouth and a low moan hummed in the back of her throat. She rose onto her tiptoes, pressing herself closer to him, as if the pull between them was magnetic. The thundering rainstorm outside that crashed hard against the windows seemed to fade away, out of her subconscious; he was her sunshine, one that shed light and warmth on even the darkest corners of her life. His lips went to her neck and she sighed, running her fingertips under his shirt, against his back muscles. His hands slipped down to her hips, seeking the hem of her wet t-shirt. When he located it, he began to slide it upward, peeling it off her damp skin. She ran a hand through his wet hair, deepening the contact of their lips, her head filling with the sweetness of is breath. Spencer lifted her arms above her head, letting their lips disconnect for a brief second to allow the shirt pass over her as he slipped it off her, tossing it onto the couch. Her fingers went to his shirt, yanking it upward and he elbowed his way out of it, letting it fall by their feet. She gripped his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around her middle, lifting her so she could wrap her legs around his waist, his mouth moving downward, along her jawline, over her throat, and above her collarbone. He raked his hands through her incredible mess of wet brown hair, and dug her fingertips into his shoulder blades, sighing his name in the brief second in which her lips were free. Just as they began to shift towards the couch, Spencer broke the contact of their lips to murmur, "Uh-uh! Sacred ground!" She gasped breathlessly. _

"_Right…" He replied, panting as he moved them back into a semi-standing position, her legs still tight around him, her fingers tangled in his hair, "Upstairs?"_

_She nodded. "Upstairs."_

* * *

><p>The morning sun peeked through the mesh, cream-colored curtains, casting a golden halo on the white bed and a warm glow on Spencer's back. She sighed, rolling over, immediately colliding with Toby, who wrapped his arms around her as her forehead bumped against his nose. "Sorry…" she mumbled sleepily, rubbing her eyes with her fist.<p>

He kissed her forehead softly, "Good morning, Juliet." His fingertips reached up to stroke her now-dry hair. "Did you sleep well?"

Spencer knit her eyebrows, trying to force her heavy eyelids to open. "Not sure what _sleep_ you're talking about, seeing that we hardly had time for any."

Toby chuckled softly, "I meant about seeing Jenna. Did it keep you up?"

"Not too much. I mean, of course it was weird, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I haven't seen her in over two weeks. They didn't even let her have visitors in the hospital. When Wren called to tell me that they took her to Radley…I just felt like we had to go see her, you know? I mean, I guess it didn't help much, seeing that we could only look at her through a window in her door, but it was enough to see that she was recovering. Even if she requested not to see us. Or anybody, for that matter." She sighed, shaking her head. "We'll try again next week. After Thanksgiving."

Toby nodded. "Yeah. I guess so." She let her eyelids drift shut and she curled up against him, enveloped in his warmth.

"In a way, I'm glad that the storm last night nearly drove us off the road. It gave us a chance to be alone and…not worry about everything else." She sighed.

Toby nodded, "And it looks like the bad weather is subsided." He peered over the top of her head to gaze through the gap in the curtains, at the wide morning sky, aglow with the bright sunlight, and the lake that stretched around the house. "See? Rain's gone, thunder's stopped. Sky's still blue."

"Mmm-hmm." Spencer mumbled in reply. "Ugh, I have to call Jason today. And take Melissa to the doctor's. And finish the invites for Aria's wedding." She groaned, rolling back onto her back, staring up at the ceiling, the chandelier with three light bulbs out and a few others flickering.

"I have work in…" Toby reached over the side of the bed for his watch, which lay in a pile with the rest of his clothes. "An hour."

Spencer sighed. "Alright, back to the real world. Our vacation in FairyTale Land was fun." She pulled herself into a sitting position. "I have to grab a shower."

"Oh really, it's funny you say that, because I need a shower as well. What a coincidence. I am so there." Toby replied, reaching up to push a strand of hair from her face.

Spencer laughed, absent-mindedly biting her thumbnail. She reached across him trying to bend over and retrieve her jeans from the floor. He grasped around her waist to keep her from tumbling face first onto the hardwood flooring. "Hey, careful there, slick."

With a grunt of satisfaction, Spencer finally managed to wrestle her cell phone out of the back pocket of her still-damp jeans and maneuvered herself so that she was sitting up on Toby's hips, straddling him. She began flipping through her messages, "Oh look, already twelve texts from Aria: "Hey girl, you up for coffee? Exclamation point to the third power and about five emogees.' Awesome." Toby rested his fingertips on the sides of her thighs, stroking up to the hem of her boy-shorts and back down. "I wish life could just sit still for…more than two minutes."

"It will. Don't worry – your time is coming soon. I can feel it."

"Well okay, Mr. Confucius, can you ask whatever divine force who gave you this knowledge to please speed it up a bit? Because there's only so much stress I can take before I'll be bunking with Jenna at Radley for attempting to murder someone."

Toby chuckled and she slipped off of him, onto the floor and padding off to the bathroom down the hall.

"Get the water going!" Toby shouted to her, sitting up and buckling the watch onto his wrist.

"What's the magic word?" She shouted back from down the hall.

"Now!"

* * *

><p>"So, what exactly is a yam and how can I get it to caramelize?" Hanna asked, peering at Spencer over the top of a Better Homes and Garden's cooking magazine.<p>

Spencer rolled her eyes, "Han, I still don't understand why you keep trying to play Martha Stewart. I mean, yesterday at the mall, you bought a pink Betty Crocker _apron."_

"Which is the very same one you saw on my mother and said looked like a grandmother threw up on it, might I add." Aria agreed, setting down the tenth bridal magazine she had read since the three had arrived. By the time Spencer had gotten to Lucky Leon's for her Saturday morning coffee with Hanna and Aria, the little black-haired pixie had already filled an entire table in the corner with wedding plans, with large binders, bundles of receipts, sticky notes with caterers phone numbers, and a pile of bridal magazines. She wore a pair of reading glasses on the tip of her nose – an unfortunate necessity she had required for the past two years – and when she had spotted Spencer, her face had lit up and she'd poked Hanna in the shoulder to get her attention. Now, the three sat within an ocean of cooking and wedding magazines, attracting more attention than Spencer would have liked.

"Well, I'm kind of freaking out, if you haven't noticed!" Hanna replied, shutting her magazine shut with a _snap._

"Oh believe me, we've noticed…" Spencer muttered, taking a sip of her grande Americano.

"But what we don't understand is why. Why, Hanna? It's not that big of a deal!" Said Aria.

"It's not – It's not a _big deal?"_ Hanna answered, gasping with disbelief. "Well, was it a 'big deal' that Fitz proposed to you in Europe, rather than just plain old Rosewood?"

"Well, it was beautiful, but it really didn't matter the place – " Aria tried to say, but Hanna cut her off.

"And was it a 'big deal' for Serena to choose Chuck over Dan?" Hanna asked Spencer, looking at her with an expression that said 'Oh yeah, I got you now.'

"Okay, you can mess up the American landmarks and even one of the most beloved paintings of all time, but I draw the line at _Gossip Girl._" Spencer poked Hanna in she shoulder, "I mean, _seriously_, _Blair_ chose Chuck over Dan. Blair, Blair, Blair! Serena was never even with Chuck! They were stepsiblings!"

"Well, it's never stopped some people before…" Hanna muttered under her breath, taking a sip of her cappuccino.

"Hanna!" Aria and Spencer admonished her, a look of shock on both their faces.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." Hanna sighed. "I just…I'm on the fritz! I'm stressing out so much I can't think straight. All I want to do is prepare for this."

"Well, where was this hardcore, inspirational stress when you had to take your finals in high school? All I've ever seen you obsess about this much is your game plan on how to get through the sea of people to the handbags department in Saks on Black Friday." Spencer replied.

"Well, this is different! Caleb's mom and stepdad are flying in to spend Thanksgiving with him because I offered to cook dinner so that he wouldn't have to go to California for the holidays. And I really want this dinner to be good! This is one of the only chances I have to prove that I can be a good…I don't know, mother or girlfriend, or just…I don't know, that I'm good for their son!"

Aria pulled another stack of magazines in front of her, "Well, I haven't met them before, but from what Caleb has told me, it doesn't seem like they're real hoity-toity. And besides, if you can pass the Hastings family's test, you can pass any snooty trial."

"Excuse me!" Spencer knit her eyebrows, incredulous.

"The point _is_," Aria went on, "Is that you don't have to pretend you're someone else. If Caleb really loves you – and I know he does – then he will accept you no matter what. And his parents will do the same, because they want him to be happy. I mean just look at my mom and me – I know that it took her a while, but she has learned to tolerate Ezra because she knows that I love him and that he's what I want."

"Oh yay, so if I screw this up, there's still a chance that they can learn not to cringe every time Caleb mentions my name…" Hanna replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Hanna. Listen to me." Spencer grabbed her friend's hand, "They are going to love you. Just be your wonderful, caring self and they'll have no choice but to."

"Oh but don't mention anything about your earwax problem." Aria pointed out.

"Or your stash of emergency frosting in your floorboards." Spencer added.

"Or the fact that you've shoplifted eighty percent of all the moisturizers and lotions you own."

"Or do that thing where you talk with your mouth closed."

"Or chew with your mouth _open."_

"Or – "

"Alright, alright, I get it!" Hanna threw her hands up in the air. "Okay, that just turned from a sweet compliment into a therapy session with Dr. Sullivan."

"Ooh, Dr. Hastings and Montgomery. I like it. We could be like Roselli and Isles!" Aria clapped her hands, completely bypassing Hanna's intent.

Spencer chuckled and Hanna rolled her eyes, groaning as she let her head drop against the open page of her cooking magazine. "That's it. I'm hopeless. I'm going to overcook the turkey or spill vegetable soup all over his mom's dress or burp or I don't know, something bad."

"Aww, that's the spirit!" Spencer teased, ruffling Hanna's hair.

When Hanna sat up, the magazine stuck to her forehead and she swiped at it so that it fell onto her lap.

"But, seriously, Hanna. You are going to be fine. And his parents are going to love you no matter what. It's not like it's the first time they've met you. If they haven't run by now, you're safe."

"Alright, that was uncalled for!"

"That's for the stepsiblings comment!" Spencer pointed her index finger at Hanna's chest, laughing.

"Fine, fine. We're even. Now please go get me another latte so I don't fall asleep in class later." She pointed behind her at the order counter.

Obediently, Spencer got to her feet and approached the counter, behind a blonde woman who had just finished ordering.

"Dr. Hale?" Spencer knit her eyebrows, recognizing the woman. "Hi." She smiled. "I haven't seen you since the night Jenna Marshall was taking to the ER."

"Oh, yes, Spencer." Tiffany nodded, smiling back. "How are you? I'm sorry to say that I heard that Jenna was transferred to Radley. Have you seen her? Is she doing better?"

"Well, the wounds in her wrist seem to have healed up nicely but as far as the emotional level goes…I wouldn't know. She won't let any of us see her." Spencer crossed her arms across her chest and shrugged.

"It didn't seem like you two were that close." Tiffany observed, handing the cashier her credit card. Her eyebrows furrowed as she searched Spencer's face in a way only a doctor would.

"Yeah well, when your boyfriend brings home a Rottweiler, you don't exactly become besties with it." Spencer replied, shrugging again.

"So she's connected to your boyfriend?"

"Well, she's his stepsister. And she's also kind of insane. Not in the reason that sent her to Radley, but in many, many more." Spencer sighed. "But I don't really like to get into it. How's work been going for you?"

"Oh, nothing new. I can safely say that none of your other loved ones – or hated ones – have traveled through those ER doors since Jenna's accident." The cashier handed Tiffany her coffee cup and she took it, thanking him quickly.

"Are you still working the night shift with Wren?"

Tiffany laughed a little, rolling her eyes, "Well, you could be the first girl I've ever heard call him something other than 'Dr. Kingston' followed by a flip of the hair and a cheesy smile."

"Well, his wife is my sister. So, technically, we're family, I guess. I like him like I'd like any brother – although I kind of wish he was a less handsy one." Spencer answered. "But what I've been meaning to ask is why _you_ don't like him."

"Who said I didn't like him?" Tiffany asked, avoiding Spencer's eyes, keeping her gaze on her hands as they fumbled with her wallet to put her credit card back in its slot.

"Well, for one, you looked like you were going to throw up all over my shoes when I mentioned his name." Spencer responded, "And the fact that you are immune to his foreign charm."

"Well," Tiffany sighed, shrugging, "I'm just not over something that I should have gotten over a long time ago."

"Well, what is it?" Spencer asked. She had a hard time imagining Wren doing anything totally reckless that would end up emotionally hurting this tough-as-nails, quick-witted doctor. Maybe he'd backed her car into a pole when borrowing for a day, or accidentally killed her pet goldfish while watching it while she was on vacation.

"Right before…Wren met your sister…we were dating. We had been together for almost two years when they met – I don't know how they did, I don't remember – but one day, he called me up and just…ended things. I mean, I've been dumped before, everyone has, but he had talked about getting married and even what our _kids_ would look like."

_Huh, weird. My boyfriend does the same thing. _Spencer thought absently, but decided not to voice her comment.

"And it was just without warning, too. And then a month later…I read in the paper that they were engaged. I know it wasn't your sister's fault, seeing that she hardly knew who I was and he told her that he wasn't involved with me. And he hurt me and…I guess I just never fully forgave him for it." Tiffany shrugged. "But it's probably stupid."

"It's not stupid." Spencer assured her, "Your feelings are your feelings and no one can ever tell you to feel otherwise. But, if you want my advice…maybe try to cut him some slack? Not because he deserves it, but because his relationship with my sister has been anything but happy. And I'm partly what started their problems."

"Uh oh, what did you do?" Tiffany teased.

"That…is a whole other story." Spencer shook her head, laughing. "But trust me, you'll find someone else. Don't hold onto that. I mean, I don't know you very well, but I can already tell that you're a total catch and any guy would be _lucky_ to have you."

Tiffany smiled, pushing a strand of blonde hair out of her face. "Thanks, Spencer." She said. "I needed to hear something like that." She put a hand on Spencer's shoulder. "I've got to get going, but it was great talking to you. Let me know if Jenna's behavioral habits change drastically."

"Will do." She waved goodbye as Tiffany walked around her, towards the door and out into the streets.

After ordering Hanna another latte, Spencer returned to her table in the corner and handed the fussy blonde her cup.

"Ugh, God, Spence! What the hell took so long? I was starting to think you were writing your whole life story up there!" Hanna said grouchily, chugging back a gulp of her drink, but then gasping and slamming down on the table, "Ow!"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you – it's a little bit hot." Spencer said, biting her lip to hold in a laugh. Aria broke out into a fit of giggles before Hanna cast her a warning look that could stop a meteor in its tracks, shutting her up.

"Alright guys, I have to tell you something, but when I do, you have to _swear_ that you wont laugh, or make a joke, or say 'I told you so.'" Spencer said after a moment of silence, taking a deep breath and wondering where to begin.

"No promises…" Hanna muttered, setting down her open magazine and looking at Spencer with her eyebrows knit. Her gaze raked over Spencer's face, as if whatever was troubling her would suddenly manifest visually out of her skin.

"Alright, so…remember when I called you guys from the hospital? After Jenna had her accident?"

"Yeah." Aria nodded, peering intently at Spencer's face.

"Well, when Em, Bree, and I were driving home…back to Em's place, we saw the ambulance pull up to Jason's house. Toby was supposed to be working there, helping move around stuff to make room for Jenna, and…when I saw that ambulance…"

"You thought it was Toby?" Aria concluded, nodding slowly.

Spencer bit her lip and nodded. "And I know it's not the first time my world has come crumbling down around me but…the feeling that I had then, when I saw the ambulance and the thought clicked inside my head…I just…"

"Everything else goes away." Hanna murmured. "I know. I had that before with Caleb in that car crash last year."

"Yeah, well, I thought he might have actually been…" Spencer waved her hand to indicate the word 'dead.' Aria and Hanna's eyes went wide and they nodded, understanding.

"And in that moment I just…" Spencer shook her head, "I couldn't shake the feeling that if, God forbid, that _was_ happening…that all of it was real, what would I have to show for it? I would just go down in history as what? That Poor Spencer Hastings Who Lost Her College Boyfriend That She Somehow Miraculously Managed to Stay With Since High School? No. No, that couldn't be it. I want to have something permanent. Because when I saw that ambulance close and drive away, I thought, 'That's my life in that car. Nothing else matters unless I can be sure that I'm his.'"

"Awww!" Aria and Hanna sang, crossing their hands over their hearts.

"And I don't mean that to sound like I'm some cheesy girl from a Nicholas Sparks movie; it's just…how I felt." Spencer shrugged, "So, I feel like…"

Aria and Hanna leaned into the table harder, practically in her face as they waited for her to finish.

"I think I….I might…" Spencer closed her eyes tight, trying to force the words out, "I want to get married."

In sync, Hanna and Aria shot back into their seats, aghast.

"Oh. Em. Gee." Aria said slowly, her eyes enormous.

"Ha-Ha! I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" Hanna rejoiced, clapping her hands hysterically. "Who knew it? Hanna did! Let this forever be known as the day that Spencer Hastings admitted to wanting to get married!"

"Miss Hastings, when did you first realize your feelings for Mr. Cavanaugh, your fiancée?" Aria asked, imitating an interviewer while holding an invisible microphone up to Spencer's face.

"And your dress is going to be perfect, of course," Hanna said, mostly to herself, "I've been designing it in my head for years."

"Was it the mysterious, wounded look in his blue eyes, or the abs that sealed the deal? The public has been very curious…" Aria continued, twirling a lock of her hair.

"Oh my God, guys!" Spencer put her hands on the side of her head and grabbed fistfuls of her hair, "We aren't married _yet_! I mean, the thing about a marriage is that it begins with the _guy_ _proposing_! This isn't just a one-sided thing."

"Well, you know how much trouble I think you'll have convincing Toby to propose? Goose egg!" Aria said, connecting her fingertips to her thumb to make a zero.

"Aria, do you know how cheesy and unromantic that would be?" Hanna said, "And those two _thrive_ on romance! I mean, do you _see_ the stuff they do for each other? No, no, this proposal has to be spontaneous and perfect. It needs to go down in history between _A Walk to Remember _and _Titanic_."

"Uhm, in both of those, the love interest dies…" Spencer spoke up between them, raising her hand.

Hanna, completely ignoring her, continued to speak to Aria across the table, "It has to be…special…hmmm…" She pursed her lips, deep in thought. "Oh! I know!" She sat up in her chair so swiftly at Spencer jumped. Hanna closed her fist and held it above her head, opening and closing her hand to indicate a blinking light bulb, "Idea!"

Aria and Spencer leaned into the table, looking at Hanna expectantly.

"_You_," Hanna said finally, "are going to propose to Toby." She smacked her palm on the surface of the table and then leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms and nodding her head approvingly.

Spencer and Aria looked at each other for a moment before confused expressions crossed their faces.

"She…proposes…to Toby?" Aria repeated, her little nose scrunching as she tried to fully wrap her mind around the idea.

"Uh, yeah, I saw that on _Whitney_, once. It ended badly." Spencer nodded. "Neil ended up becoming gay before they could even get married."

"But just think about it, Aria!" Hanna insisted, ignoring Spencer completely, "I mean, it would be like a whole new spin on classic romance!"

"Hmmm…well, now that you mention it, they _could_ be the new Jack and Rose!" Aria nodded, leaning on her elbows against the table, her hands folded under her chin in a very girly way.

"Or Cinderella and Prince Charming – take two!"

"Just like a fairy tale!"

"Uhm, aren't I supposed to have a say in this?" Spencer raised her hands between them.

"Shush!" Hanna waved her hand rapidly in Spencer's face, not even breaking eye contact with Aria. "Oh! And she could give him some kind of cross necklace or something! Or some other male-equivalent of a ring."

"Yeah, yeah! Or maybe just a male engagement ring!"

"And she could do it some way that incorporates his truck!"

"And – "

"Alright, both of you, shut up before my brain explodes!" Spencer exclaimed, forcing herself between them. "I don't even know if I'm doing this yet!"

"Okay, Spencer." Hanna took Spencer's hand in hers, "I love you. But I need you to shut the hell up and listen to me. This. Will. Work. And it will be the most romantic thing _ever_. Toby will love it, you will love it, and you will both live happily ever after and make wonderful Spoby babies."

"I still don't understand your constant obsession with my offspring, but I just think it's…a little corny."

"Spencer. It isn't corny. At all. It's sweet. And you always say how you want to be more romantic – this is it. This is the thing that tops everything else! Toby will never be able to complete with it!"

"And it will be the best story for me to tell at your bridal shower." Aria agreed.

"Wait, who says that you're maid of honor?" Hanna asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Uh, did you not hear Spence at my shower? We're Team Sparia!"

"Yeah, but I'm the one who came up with the idea!"

"Yeah, well I got them together!"

"No, you didn't!" Hanna replied.

"Oh, wait that was Emily, wasn't it?"

"No!" Spencer interfered, "If anyone is going to take credit for setting Toby and me up, it's going to be Toby and me! And I think we should figure out this ingenious proposal idea before we focus on the wedding details."

"Wait, so you _are_ going to do it?" Hanna asked, an enormous, Cheshire-Cat smile spreading across her face.

Spencer sighed and shook her head, a small grin gracing her lips. "Against my better judgment, yes. I guess I am."

"Ahh!" Aria and Hanna squealed with glee, clapping their hands so loudly that people a few tables over peered over their shoulders at them.

"I have to call Em!" Hanna exclaimed.

"I'll get Bree in on it!"

"Can I tell Caleb?"

"Oh, and Ezra can know about it, right?"

"What about Jason? Should we tell him? And Melissa?"

"Yes, yes, yes, do whatever you want. Just…let me finish my coffee in peace…" Spencer chuckled, rolling her eyes.

And as she downed the rest of her slightly lukewarm coffee, her two best friends began to giddily indulge in a world of love and fairytales, something they hadn't done in many, many years.

**alright, loves, it has been far too long! i just wanted to give a shout out and thank all my lovely reviewers. some of you just have the nicest things to say and it really brightens up my day to know that im writing this for more than the purpose of getting out my spoby feels ;)**

**thank GAWD Toby is back and Spoby is back to their sexually frustrating ways tues XD**

**(so im just going along with the idea from Bree's orig story, with the whole Spencer proposing thing. ugh, i just have sooo many ideas for the next few chapters - some pretty intense and others romantic - and im trying to organize them as best as i can! haha)**

**live. love. spoby. - aj**


	18. The Ambiguous Loss of Hanna Marin

Chapter 18:

The Ambiguous Loss of Hanna Marin

"Okay, remind me to never become a mom, ever." Spencer mumbled, scrubbing hard at the leftover pieces of turkey grease that had hardened over the surface of the pan.

Veronica laughed and turned towards her daughter from the island counter, where she was busily packing cranberry sauce and peas into Ziploc Tupperware. "It just takes practice, Spencer. Melissa picked it up just fine."

Spencer snorted, "She might be able to spout that crap to you, but only last week she had to call me because she set fire to her microwave."

"Well, you'll take to it once you're a mom. I promise you." Veronica smiled and squeezed her daughter's shoulder.

Spencer grinned and turned back to the sink, continuing the scrub away at the pan, cursing under her breath when the force of her grip broke off yet another one of her acrylic nails.

"You know, you _are _actually going to be a great mom someday, Spencer." She felt her mother's hand on her hair, pulling it absently over her shoulder.

Spencer smiled a little bit to herself, "You so sure about that? I don't exactly have an overwhelming sense of patience…"

"Yeah well, neither did I, at the time."

"Who says you do now?" Spencer teased, giggling as she set down the sponge, giving up and wiping her hands dry with a rag.

"Hey." Veronica warned, though she laughed, too.

Spencer turned back to her mother, leaning back against the countertop. "But I mean it. I'm scared I won't know what to do. I'm scared I'll like…I don't know, trip while holding the baby or accidently put vodka in their bottle instead of milk."

Veronica laughed, "Well, I doubt anything will be _that_ extreme…" She smiled and pulled Spencer into a hug. When they broke apart, she put an arm around her daughter and they both peered through the window of the back door at Toby and Peter, who were outside, pointing to pieces of the yard that needed to be fixed. Spencer was sure that her father was prattling about the old tree stump that caused not only a health risk, but made their backyard extremely hideous, and Toby was insisting that he would be able fix in no time for him. Odd small talk that boys were just so fond of nowadays.

Veronica snorted and laughed, "Well, there they go, our two little boys."

"They grow up so fast…" Spencer teased, playing along with it. They both giggled and then began to package up the leftover dessert.

"That pudding was great, Mom." Spencer said as she placed the stack of Tupperware in the fridge.

"Thanks. I think dinner went well, don't you?"

"Yeah." Spencer smiled. "Yeah, it was…a great Thanksgiving. It was so nice of you to invite us."

"Well, you're my daughter. What do you expect?" Veronica replied. "It's just a bummer Jason couldn't come."

"Yeah well, he did say it was his 'duty' to go see Jenna in her 'time of need…'" Spencer said cynically, scowling as she shifted the milk on the shelf to make room for the leftover brownies. "Even though I doubt Jenna is seeing _anyone_ right now…"

"And Wren and Melissa seemed to be busy as well." Veronica sighed. "I'm worried about her."

"Me too." Spencer responded honesty. "But if I start to think about it too much, I'll have a hyperventilation attack."

Veronica snorted, shaking her head. "Did she tell Wren yet?"

"Well, we haven't seen any tornados on the news, so I'm guessing that can of worms is still closed."

Veronica laughed again and then sighed. "When is she going to tell him?"

"I don't know." Spencer shrugged, "But how long can she hide a thing like this?"

"Not long. It's already been a month. Pretty soon she'll start showing."

"I know. Part of me keeps feeling like I'm going to wake up and…see her on the news…like she ran away or…maybe found a new identity. Like…I don't know, Tess Mia Nolling-Kings, or something like that…"

"You really think Melissa would be careful enough to anagram her own name…?" Veronica replied, snickering.

"Well, this is Melissa we're talking about. She's even more anal than me."

"Well, what would a Hastings girl be if not anal?" Veronica replied, and Spencer laughed. "Okay, I know that sounded weird but…"

"Yeah, it did…" Spencer giggled. "But I guess that's just…who you raised us to be."

"I guess it is." Veronica shrugged, "So, how have things been with school? And…well, everything else?"

"Great." Spencer smiled, keeping it vague. She didn't exactly feel like fessing up to wanting to propose to Toby to her mother in the middle of their kitchen. And of course, it wouldn't be the first time she'd skirted around the truth. After all, if Spencer did always tell the whole story, she would probably be answering her mother's question in a way that might not exactly put her at ease. _'Oh you want to know how I'm doing? Oh, marvelous! Yes, school is great, even though my sister is pregnant with a secret love child. But see my boyfriend out there? Yeah, he's been making things a _lot_ better for me. In fact, just a few weeks ago we had sex right in front of that fireplace over there. And honestly, I am so giddy to marry him that I'm just going to bypass the whole traditional shit entirely and propose to him myself. But enough about me. How's your life?'_

Yeah, keeping secrets from Veronica was sometimes for her own good.

"You know, Spencer, I don't say this enough but…I'm really glad that you found someone like Toby." Veronica said earnestly, leaning her palms against the kitchen island. "I mean, I know when you were little, I always pushed for you to look for someone who was a lawyer, or a doctor, or something like that, but…I really am glad that you and Toby were able to make what you had work. It feels like he's the only thing that's kept you grounded and centered all these years."

"Yeah well, if my heart was a compass, he'd be north, I guess." Spencer said absently, before closing her eyes and shaking her head, "Okay, I did not just say that."

Veronica laughed. "I think you did. Oh, wait, I've got one…" She cleared her throat, "If your heart was a house, he'd be home. No, no! If your – "

"Alright, alright that's enough!" Spencer laughed, batting her hands in front of her as if to push the comments away.

Veronica smiled at her daughter, "Well, again, I hope that you two can keep up what you have. Because it's actually one of the most real relationships I've seen in a while."

"Thanks, Mom. That means everything to me. It really does."

* * *

><p>The halls of Radley reeked of Clorox and mildew, Spencer thought as she scrunched up her nose. She held her purse close to her chest, pressing her face hard against the glass window of the dark-painted door, hoping that the impact might in fact get Jenna's attention. But, nevertheless, the stoic brunette still sat in her wooden chair, back to Spencer, staring out her barred window and bulletproof glass into the outside world.<p>

"Jenna?" Spencer tried again, wondering if her voice could even be heard through the thickness of the door. "Jenna?" She tapped lightly on the glass, but it triggered no response on Jenna's end. She sighed, giving up and letting her palms fall back onto her thighs. She stepped back from the door and shook her head, pacing around in a circle in the hallway for a moment. She checked her watch once more, and then looked back to the door. It was no use. Jenna wouldn't see her. She didn't want to talk about what happened. She wanted to pretend that it didn't exist. That the elephant in the room was nothing but a cloud of air.

Spencer sighed. She _had_ to talk to Jenna, at some point. Find out why she did what she did. What caused her such angst that she felt like she had no way out. She tugged out her cell phone, preparing a new text to Toby that she was on her way home.

"Spencer? Spencer Hastings?" A soft, familiar voice behind her made Spencer jump like a deer, sending her phone clattering to the floor, the backing and battery falling out and skidding in opposite directions.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you…" The kind voice said, and she was then face-to-face with someone she hadn't seen – or even expected to see – in over a year.

"Will? Will Lovat?" Spencer furrowed her eyebrows.

Yeah, it was Will alright. Of course, it was nearly impossible to tell, given the fact that the last time Spencer – or anyone in Rosewood – had seen him, he was swathed in a black leather jacket, tightly laced combat boots, and scruffy hair that dropped to his shoulders. Now, he stood before her in a clean white t-shirt, a short, fresh haircut, dark wash jeans, some black sneakers, and a pair of square-rimmed glasses. The only thing that distinguished him as truly Will Lovat, the brother to now-dead Gracie Lovat, were his bright green eyes, equipped with a gaze that cut like fierce emeralds.

"Yeah," Will chuckled, "shocking, huh? I get that confused look a lot."

"What are you…doing back in Rosewood?" Spencer asked curiously, knitting her brows. _And in Radley_.

"Well, I moved into an apartment back here, to start work. I mean, I pretty much promised myself I'd never set foot back in this town after Gracie died but…I got some help in Virginia and they told me to come back to where my deepest roots were. So, naturally, I turned up here."

"Wait, help? Like…like a shrink?"

"Psychiatrist, yes. He said that it would be good for me to help out at places where they needed it. Connect with the world again. And I thought, well, why not Radley? If I can help some people here steer away from the road that Gracie went down…well, then I'd feel like I'm getting my business done."

Spencer nodded, "That's very…generous of you…"

"Well, I just do what feels right, I guess." Will shrugged, "I had to go through a lot of change to get there, but…once I peeled back the layers, it felt meant to be, you know?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do. So, are you coming back to Hollis then, or…?"

"Me? Nah. Not for a while anyway. College isn't for me right now. Maybe in a few years. Who knows where they'll take me?" Will replied. They began to idly walk down the hall, towards the staircase. "So, what about you? How's school? Are you still seeing that guy….?"

"Toby? Yeah, yeah. I am. And school's fine. Just…like old times, I guess. I'm planning Aria Montgomery's wedding, though." Spencer replied.

"Really? No kidding? Her and that Fitz guy are finally tying the knot?"

"Seems so. Funny how things work out, huh?"

"Definitely." Will agreed. Once they reached the staircase, he checked his watch, "Oh hey, I have to run – a patient down in the second floor needs her meds. But hey, can I call you? Try to catch up?"

"Uh, sure." _Why not? What the heck._

"Here." Will pulled a pen out of his back pocket and began to write his number on her palm in deep violet ink. "I'd love to have lunch with you sometime. Maybe meet up back here. Hey, uh, why are you today in Radley, anyway?"

"Uhm, to see Jenna…Jenna Marshall." Spencer replied, pointing her finger down the hall towards the door.

"Ah. Yeah, I thought I saw her name on the patients list. What happened with her?"

"Well, it's kind of a long story. I'd tell you if we had more time but…maybe we'll meet for coffee later this week?"

"Yeah. Yeah, sure. Sounds good."

"Great. Bye, Will. Nice seeing you again."

"You too, Spencer. You, too."

* * *

><p>"I stood out there for twenty minutes, practically banging on the door and still nothing. Nothing! She didn't even turn her freaking head!" Spencer exclaimed, banging her palms on the kitchen table.<p>

"Hey, hey easy…" Toby said, setting a bowl of her favorite soup in front of her. "Hot soup leads to burning. Let's not have a repeat of my twenty-first birthday."

"Yeah, well, it wasn't my idea to start boiling Top Ramen on your stove at two in the morning."

"Yeah, I still don't exactly know how Caleb thought of that one…but then again, after drinks, none of us were exactly stable and ready to make smart decisions."

"Oh yeah, don't even get me started on that hangover the next day."

"Oh, don't worry, I won't. Remember, I still have the hole in my wall from where you through one of your heels at me for 'spreading the jam too loudly.'"

"Don't test me when I'm hung over. Unless you're on a suicide mission."

"Dooly noted." Toby smiled crookedly, "But anyway. If she didn't look at you, it's probably because she didn't want to. She's probably ashamed, Spence. Wouldn't you be?"

"I guess." Spencer shrugged, "I just wish she'd let me speak with her. I want to help her. Find out what's been going on."

"Well, you aren't going to figure that out by standing outside her door and looming over her like a social worker." Toby replied, taking a sip of the water he had poured himself.

"I know. But what else can I do?"

"Wait, I guess."

"Ugh. I hate waiting. Have I mentioned that I'm not exactly patient?"

"No, but you've proved it numerous times." Toby teased, ruffling her hair. "Patience is a virtue, Miss Hastings. Sometimes the best things – "

"Are worth the wait. Yeah, I know. You've said that, oh, I don't know, nine billion times." Spencer rolled her eyes, "But what about the things that you want right away? Shouldn't you take action and just get them before something else gets in the way?"

"Well, I guess if the circumstances are – "

"And what if you suddenly feel like you've been waiting forever, and it just feels like it needs to happen?" Spencer interrupted, on a roll now, hardly even paying attention to Toby's words.

Toby was silent for a beat. "I get the feeling we aren't talking about Jenna anymore." He said finally, his eyes addressing her warily. He put his hand over hers on the table's surface, "What's going on, Spence? Did something happen at Radley? With your family?"

Spencer sighed. "It's nothing. Just…something I've been struggling with a bit. In my head."

"Well, what is it?"

Spencer opened her mouth to say…well, she wasn't quite sure what, but thankfully a sharp knock on the front door saved her. "Oh, uh, I'll get it." She said, getting up from the table, her hand slipping out of Toby's.

She crossed through the living room and reached the door, pulling open the knob. On the other side, in the dark, cold November night, was Hanna, her eyes rimmed with red, her face shiny with shed tears. She sniffled and before a concerned Spencer could ask what happened, she threw her arms around her, burying her face in her shoulder, and beginning to sob. Spencer automatically put a hand on the back of Hanna's head, wrapping her other arm around her back. "Han, Han!" She said urgently, while Hanna's body shook, wracked with sobs, gasping for breath. "What happened? Are you alright?"

Hanna didn't answer, just cried and cried, long and hard, in the doorway of Toby's apartment. Spencer thought she heard Toby's footsteps behind her, and she turned her head to peer over her shoulder, spotting him in the living room. He raised his eyebrows, his eyes questioning her, and she motioned with her head for him to go to his room, and let her deal with it.

Once Toby was down the hall, Spencer pulled back, pushing sopping wet strands of Hanna's short blonde curls away from her cheeks. "Han, Han, shh…shh…it's okay. It's okay." She soothed, looking her seriously in the eyes. "Tell me what happened."

Once she got enough breath, Hanna replied, "C-Caleb le-e-ft me." She hiccupped, her voice breaking on the last word, and her breath was swallowed up by sobs once more. Spencer knit her eyebrows and pulled Hanna into the apartment, shutting the door behind her. She led her over to the couch, Hanna stumbling over the coffee table legs, and safely set her down. Hanna immediately grabbed for one of the couch pillows Spencer had given Toby as a housewarming gift, pressing her face into it and letting out a few more sobs. Spencer sat quietly, rubbing her back and holding her hand while she cried, waiting for the worst of it to subside. Once Hanna had cried herself out and regained her breathing, she looked up at Spencer, wiping at her nose with her free hand. Her thick mascara had smeared across the surface of the pillow, and now stuck to Hanna's face in long, sticky streams of inky black, rimmed beneath her eyes.

"Why did you and Caleb break up?" Spencer asked carefully once she was sure Hanna was spent.

Hanna took a deep breath and sniffed a few times, "It was…God, I can't even pinpoint it onto one specific thing. It was…it was everything. It's like…all these walls that we kept putting up just came falling down on us and…it became too much."

"When did it start?"

"Well, our worst fight was tonight. It was the one that just cut the cord. I mean…I didn't tell you guys this because I thought it would blow over, but we've been fighting a lot for the past…couple of weeks."

"Did it have anything to do with Thanksgiving?"

"No. Not really. I mean, everything went well. Dinner was good, I got along with his mom and stepdad…but that wasn't what broke us. I mean, I guess I could say it started last month when I found a box of one of his ex's things in his storage unit. It was from way before we were together, like, when he was sixteen, but it made me mad and suspicious that he still had it." Hanna said thickly, her eyes on her hands, which were nervously kneading the pillow, "When I confronted him about it, we had a little bit of a fight, but after it was over, I realized that I had blown it wildly out of proportion. But then a week later, I saw that she had friended him on Facebook. I knew that he didn't have feelings for her or anyone else anymore, but it just…upset me that he didn't tell me those kinds of things. One thing led to another and it felt like there was…always something we were fighting about. Whether it be how much money of his that I spent at Bloomie's, or that I would forget to do the things he asked me to, or that he didn't tell me everything and…I started to wonder if I ever really knew him at all. Tonight…I went to his apartment to have dinner, and I told him how I felt. Of course, he told me that my feelings were completely out of proportion and that he didn't feel like he kept things from me. I forget who started yelling first. But the worst part was that he told me that his mom wanted him to move back to Montecito with them. He told me that he didn't want to go at first, but then once our fight got going…I actually told him that I would…" Spencer could see more tears welling up in her eyes. "I would rather see him go."

"Hanna…you didn't mean that…" Spencer said softly, stroking her hair.

"No, of course not! But once I said it…I couldn't un-say it. I actually told him that I wanted him to go away. He just…stood there and looked at me and the hurt in his eyes…" Hanna sniffled and shook her head. "I couldn't stand to be there a second longer. I felt like the distance between us had just gotten so much larger in that moment. That we didn't really know each other at all. Remember…remember that song you always played when you were sad? That one about the clowns? By that girl with the beak nose?"

"'Send in the Clowns?' By Barbra Streisand?"

"Yeah. That song was how I felt. That we just…were so far away from each other. And in a way, I feel like it was more than what we were fighting about. Not just the little things, but…the fights felt worse than they were. And I left him standing in that room and…I held it all in until I got in my car. And then…after I banged my head against the steering wheel a few times…I just starting crying. I couldn't stop. And then, I came here. Because I had no one else to go to. And…I needed you, Spence."

Spencer nodded. She pulled Hanna into a hug and rubbed her back, "It's okay…" She said softly. When she pulled back, she touched a hand to her cheek, "Hanna, are you sure you can't go talk to him? Take it back? I'm sure he knows you didn't mean it."

Hanna sniffled, rubbing her red nose, shaking her head, "No, no. I said it. And everything is too messed up right now. And for all I know, my comment might make him actually move to Montecito. I mean, who wouldn't? Who wouldn't rather be with their parents in beautiful California rather than dumpy old Rosewood with their angry, spiteful girlfriend?"

"No, no, don't say that. Caleb _loves _you, Hanna. He does. He still does, I bet. It doesn't mean it's over, just because you're fighting."

Hanna shrugged, "I messed up big time, Spence. The things that I said in that apartment tonight…I can never take them back. And they were harsh enough to send me to hell forever."

"Hanna…" Spencer shook her head. "You're going to be okay. Nothing you said can affect that. You will both be alright. I promise you. Even if…even if you don't end up working this out after all, you'll both be fine. People can grow and move on. But whatever happens…will happen. Right now, you just need time to breathe." She said. "You can stay here tonight, though. I want you to."

"What? Why? You don't have to do that for me, Spence." Hanna shook her head, her voice still thick.

"Because last time you and Caleb broke up last year, I found you hammered drunk, dancing around your apartment with a bottle of vodka to Shakira. And then you fell onto your couch and started crying so hard I thought you were having an epileptic fit." Spencer said, smiling bittersweetly. She took Hanna's hand, "So stay here tonight."

Hanna shrugged and then eventually nodded, and her gaze caught on something over Spencer's shoulder. When Spencer followed her line of sight, she saw Toby standing in the hallway behind them, his hands in his pockets, "Hey, Han." He said softly, empathetically. "You alright?"

"Uhm, yeah." Hanna sniffed again and tried to put on a brave smile for Toby, "I'll be fine." She said. But her face crumpled and she put a palm to her forehead, in an attempt to hide her tears.

Spencer stood up, walking towards Toby. Hanna fell onto her side on the couch behind her, curling into herself.

"Can she stay here tonight?" Spencer whispered to Toby. "She and Caleb had a falling out and…it looks like they're over right now."

Toby looked over at Hanna and then back at Spencer, "You don't trust her to drive home?"

"Nope."

"Me neither." Toby said, looking over Spencer's shoulder to Hanna once more. "Should we give her the bed? I can sleep on the armchair if you're okay with the couch."

Spencer turned back to look at Hanna, her arms crossed. The poor broken-hearted blonde was curled into a fetal position, sniffling softly, soaking the cushions with her tears, her blonde curls covering her face. Spencer shook her head, "No, I don't think I can get her to her feet right now. She's tired, Toby. And I know how it feels to hurt that bad."

Toby nodded, "Alright. I guess we'll just bring her a blanket, then." He decided. He took another long look at Hanna, shaking his head as if to say 'poor thing.'

"You go get ready for bed. I'll take care of her." She told him, and he nodded, padding off down the hall to the bathroom.

Spencer went into the kitchen, checking over her shoulder at Hanna every few seconds. She boiled a pot of water and poured it into a mug, setting a bag of chamomile tea into it and watching as the golden coloring saturated the water. She grabbed a blanket from the hall closet and then returned to the living room, where Hanna lay, having not moved an inch. She set down the mug on a coaster on the coffee table and settled the fuzzy blanket on top of her. Hanna snuggled into it, whimpering softly and then letting out a heaving breath, her eyelids still shut. Spencer rubbed her back softly for a moment, sitting on the edge of the couch. Slowly, Hanna stopped shivering and drifted into a peaceful state, half-asleep and groggy, completely spent and overly tired. For the first time in years, Spencer saw the little Hanna she once knew, the one who ate when she was nervous, wore her hair in a ponytail, slept in flannel PJs, and cuddled with a stuffed bear when she was scared. The side of her mouth pulled up into a slight bittersweet half smile and she sighed, getting to her feet. Spencer leaned down and kissed the top of Hanna's head, "Goodnight, Hanna." She whispered softly. She turned and began sauntering slowly down the hallway towards the bedroom, humming softly under her breath:

"_But where are the clowns?_

_Quick, send in the clowns._

_ Don't bother, they're here…"_

__**Poor haleb :'( I totally didnt write it like this b/c of whats going on on the show - I've had it planned for a while. I hope you all like the new addition to the story - Will Lovat (the brother of the girl who committed suicide that Spencer talked about with Taylor in the hospital). He's going to play an important role in the next few chapters.**

**Sadly, I don't own Barbra Streisand or her amazing voice. But if you listen to the lyrics of the song, it's kind of the bittersweet vibe I was going for with Haleb in this chapter. **

**Love all of your ideas and reviews - thank you all so very much! Love you all!**

**Love Always **

**- AJ**


	19. The Ninth is Made Up Of Phantoms

Chapter 19:

The Ninth is Made Up of Phantoms

"Alright, Hanna is sound asleep on the sofa, and I finally got some food into her system." Spencer reported, flopping down on the bed beside Toby.

"Great. I'll check on her during the night to make sure she isn't trying to chuck her phone into our TV again." Toby replied, looking up from the book he was reading. He closed it with a soft _snap_ and set it on the side table.

"Yeah, she does have pretty good aim, huh?"

"Well, let's just say it was a miracle that it didn't smash directly through the screen of our new plasma." Toby sat up a bit further, "Hey, what's on your shirt?"

Spencer looked down at her stained light-blue button-up. "Uhm, let's see…oatmeal, applesauce, pudding…" She said, pointing to each stain in turn, "And coffee. Which hurt like a bitch, in case you're wondering."

"Ouch." Toby said, furrowing his eyebrows in a laugh.

"Yeah, Hanna got kinda nasty for a little bit today when I tried to make her eat…but she did apologize for pulling out a lock of my hair."

"That was nice of her."

Spencer laughed lightly and shook her head. She stood up again and crossed the room, unbuttoning her shirt and dropping it in the hamper. "It's like I'm raising a toddler. And I'm not even a mom – or a legal adult – yet!" She exclaimed, slipping out of her white undershirt and jeans. She tugged a clean white shirt out of Toby's top dresser drawer and slid it on over hear head.

"Well, think of it as good practice, Mommy Hastings."

"For being a mom? Well, if my baby acts like a moody, recently dumped twenty-one year old girl all the time, someone divine force up there is gonna have some 'splainin to do." Said Spencer, pointing up to the ceiling.

Toby chuckled and slid off of the bed, joining her on the other side of the bedroom. He wrapped his arms loosely around her waist. "I think it's sweet of you to take care of Hanna. You spent the whole day with her and even canceled your plans to see that movie with Aria." Spencer shrugged and Toby went on, "Face it, Spencer Hastings – you may pretend to be tough as nails, but deep down, you are just a big old softie."

"I am not!" Spencer gasped, scowling. "I am _so_ tough as nails! I eat happiness for breakfast!" She said, giggling now and playfully slapping Toby's t-shirt clad chest.

Toby laughed with her, "Yes, but in your double life, you ride rainbow unicorns, watch corny doctor shows, secretly cry over _The Bachelorette_, and spend an entire Saturday caring for your broken-hearted friend. You're a lover, not a fighter."

"Oooh, does that mean I'm finally a romantic?" Spencer shimmied her shoulders, smiling widely.

"You have your moments." Toby teased, leaning in to kiss her forehead.

Spencer snorted and shook her head. "Alright. I need some feel-good music or something to make me feel normal again. This could have been the weirdest day of my life. And look!" Spencer held up her index finger, which had a small, slightly bleeding slid across the top.

"Aw, what happened?" Toby asked, taking her hand in his.

"Hanna bit me."

"Why?"

"Because I wouldn't let her text Caleb that he was an "'Insert swear word here' idiot and that she 'insert swear word here' hated him.'"

"Ah." Toby nodded. He raised her hand to his lips and softly kissed her wound, "All better?"

"All better." Spencer nodded. She stretched up on her toes to kiss him before taking his hand and leading him back to the bed. "Okay, you know what I need right now?"

"Uhm, one of those long baths that you like, with the lavender bath salts, and maybe I'll give you a back massage afterwards?" Toby guessed, sliding beneath the sheets.

"Nope. Well, maybe I'll take a rain check on that – but I was thinking we could watch that one thing that brings my spirits up."

"Oh God, you aren't going to put me through an hour's worth of torturous _Gossip Girl_, are you? Because if I have to hear him say 'Dude, I'm Chuck Bass' one more time, I think I'm going to chuck the DVD set out the window – no pun intended."

Spencer giggled, "Hey, Chuck Bass is ten times more bad-ass than you and we both know it."

"Oh yeah, with that special little scarf of his, I pretty much pale in comparison of manliness. My mistake."

"Shut up." Spencer snorted. "Anyway, know, because we both know that laughing is the best remedy for a sour day. So, a little _King of Queens_ reruns should put my mind at ease."

"Hmm, now that I can deal with." Toby smiled, getting to his feet once more and approaching the TV across the bedroom. He shuffled through the drawer on the table beneath the television set, and within moments, unearthed the complete collection of Kevin James' finest work – a gift to the both of them from Emily last Christmas.

"Put in the one where Deacon and Kelly give them that hideous painting of themselves!" Spencer instructed, her head falling back against the headboard.

"Way ahead of you!" Answered Toby, and he crouched before the DVD player and inserted one of the disks into it. He fiddled with the old TV set, changing the input.

Spencer stretched out her legs, crossing them at the ankles, and then a harsh vibration on the table beside her made her turn her head. She grasped her cell phone and held it up to the low light of the bedside lamp, squinting to see the caller ID. With a smile, she hit ACCEPT.

"Hey, Bree." Spencer said into the receiver.

"Spencer Jill Hastings!" Her roommate voice replied loudly on the other end. "How _dare_ you hold such an important piece of information regarding your love life from me! I mean, I – "

Toby turned his head to look at her questionably, arching one eyebrow as Spencer held the phone a few inches' distance from her ear to avoid becoming deaf by the abrasive sounds of Bree's shouting.

"Bree, uhm, can I…." She trailed off and then looked at Toby. "Uh, excuse me. Give me a sec…" She told him, scooting off the bed and scurrying into the hallway.

"What, Bree?" She hissed into the phone.

"How _dare_ you not tell me about you proposing to Toby! I mean, I know I've been back home in Boston with my family for Thanksgiving but I had to hear about this from _Linda Channing_, who heard it from Aria. Yeah, Linda-who-wears-her-hair-in-two-braids-like-a-second-grader-Linda. Like, what the hell, Spencer? You take this gargantuan leap in your romantic life and you don't even give me a chance to fangirl about it? I mean, I get how you want to keep it on the down low, but you totally forgot to clue me in! I may be amazing, but I can't read freaking minds! I mean, here I am over in Boston rewatching _Grey's_ and being all freaking proud of myself because I think I know what the epitome of love is. But, once again, I was wrong, and I – "

"Bree!" Spencer responded forcibly, "Take a breath for God's sake! I was going to tell you! But with everything going on with Thanksgiving it just got tossed up in the air. And Hanna came last night because she and Caleb split up and she has been _living_ on my couch all day. Well, Toby's couch…"

"…Soon to be your couch…."

"_Anyway_." Spencer pressed on, "I'm still unsure about it. I mean, I don't know what I'd give him in place of a ring. Nothing I come up with seems genuine enough."

"No way! You are totally going through with it! And since you robbed me of finding out straight from you, you now have to let me help you pick out the engagement gift."

"Alright, but I have to tell Aria to quit telling random strangers about the plan first."

But Bree was hardly listening, "You know, you should totally make an outline of a house with candles like Meredith did for Derek! Oooh, oohh! And you can do the sticky-note thing or bring champagne! And maybe throw a bit of _GG _in there if you want by having someone pick him up in a limo to take him there and – "

A beep on Spencer's phone interrupted Bree's adoration and Spencer held the phone away from her ear to see who was calling. "Uh, Bree…" She said, furrowing her eyebrows once she brought the phone back to her ear, "I'm going to have to call you back."

"Huh? Alright. But I'm counting on that Spencer Ha – "

Spencer hung up, cutting her off before she could finish, "Hello?" She asked, taking the other call. "Yes, this is she. Oh. Uhm. Alright. I see. Yeah, yeah."

Toby stepped out of the bedroom door into the hall beside her.

"Yeah, we'll be there…" She said, hanging up.

"What is it?" Toby asked, knitting his eyebrow and looking at her expectantly.

"That was Radley. Jenna…wants to see us."

* * *

><p>So after making sure Hanna was sound asleep and letting Aria know that she might need to check in on her if she called, Toby and Spencer found themselves parked in an open space in the parking lot in front of Radley Sanitarium.<p>

"Spence. Spencer." Toby repeated her name for about the seventh time since they had parked. "Hellooo. Earth to Spencer…" He waved a hand in front of her stoic face.

Spencer sighed, shaking her head and keeping her gaze locked in front of her. "What is she planning…?" She asked under her breath.

"Come again?"

"What's she planning…she's planning something."

"Spencer, she's been confined to a hospital bed for nearly a month. I don't think she's been making evil blueprints and cooking up a way to ruin your life when she has nurses watching her like a hawk."

Spencer shook her head again. "I can't imagine what she wants to tell us."

"She probably wants to explain why she tried to do what she did."

"And she couldn't think of a better time to tell us than in the dead of night when the rest of the town is sleeping?"

Toby didn't reply, just shrugged and reached out to slowly pet her hair, "Spence, you're doing it again."

"What?"

"Turning into an Easter Island Head."

"Am not."

"Spencer, you're so frigid right now, if I bent you over, you'd crack in half."

Spencer's eyes fell into her lap and she took a few steadying breaths. "Alright. Let's go in."

* * *

><p>At night, the halls of Radley reeked even worse than Spencer remembered from the daytime. She idly wondered if perhaps Will Lovat would be working the night shift, and perhaps guard the outside of Jenna's room in case she tried to sick both of them with a wooden chair or a pair of tweezers.<p>

But alas, they were completely alone as they lurked the halls, going up staircase after staircase, their footsteps echoing off of the walls like firecrackers.

Spencer shivered as they reached the ninth floor. The eerie feel of the hallway made her skin crawl. Toby put an arm around her to steady her and she stood, her feet planted firmly on the floor, at the top of the staircase. The dimly lit hall was absolutely empty, having been robbed of visitors hours ago. One of the light bulbs along the ceiling flickered, as if to amplify the already uncanny setting.

The floorboards creaked, even though no one was walking on them. Ghostly sounds emanated from the rooms as the patients fought for sleep. No wonder they couldn't, Spencer thought. Not in a place this scary. Cold and unfriendly.

Toby stood beside her, not moving an inch, waiting for her to be ready. Words passed through her head – many things that she could say to Jenna – but none of them seemed quite right. They all bounced around, ranging from anger and frustration to irritation to understanding.

One breath.

Two.

Three.

"Okay. Let's go." She said finally. She took a step forward and Toby followed, moving until they found Jenna's closed door. Spencer peered into the window, but nothing but blackness stared back at her. She cleared her throat and knocked on the door quietly. "Jenna?"

Toby fished key the nurse had given them out of his jean pocket and inserted into the keyhole, turning it slowly until the heavy door let out a creaking _thunk _and the door unlocked. Spencer pushed down on the handle and slid the door open, "Jenna?" She repeated softly. "It's Spencer. And Toby."

She took one step into the nearly black room, squinting through the darkness. She fumbled around on the wall for the light switch, but before she had the chance to turn the light on, a light sputtered to life in the far left corner of the room.

There, snuggled against a wooden chair in the corner beside a side table and a lit lamp was Jenna, swathed in a robin's-egg blue nightgown and knitted white sweater. A pair of black sunglasses lay in her lap, even though her seeing green eyes stared back at them.

Spencer looked over at Toby before stepping towards her, Toby at her heels.

"Hello, Spencer. Toby." Jenna said impassively. Her fingers idly played with the glasses in her hands. Spencer noticed how careful she was to keep the scars on the inside of wrist covered by her sweater sleeve.

"Uh, hi Jenna…" Spencer said softly. She looked over her shoulder at Toby again before coming to a stop before Jenna. "You…wanted to speak with us?"

"Yes." Jenna nodded. "Have a seat, why don't you?" She motioned to two empty chairs behind them.

Toby looked at Spencer and she raised her eyebrows. When he took a seat in one of the chairs, she followed suit. They now sat kitty-cornered against the wall, with Jenna staring holes into their skulls.

"So…are you going to tell us why…you did what you did?" Spencer asked carefully.

Jenna took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I noticed that you both have been coming here for a few weeks and I thought you deserved to know why I'm here."

Spencer and Toby exchanged glances and then they turned back to Jenna, waiting.

Jenna heaved in a few breaths, turning the glasses over and over in her hands. "Well, it all started the day of…the accident. I went over to Garrett's mom's house across the street because I heard he was back in town for a few days. Since my thing with Mitch ended on a sour note, I hoped that I might be able to patch things up with Garrett. When I talked to him and told him how I felt…it ended up terribly. I reminded him that he once loved me but then he went on and on about how much of…of a whore I was breaking his heart. He told me he had moved on and that…I was so frigid that no man would ever want me. That all I do is play games and never commit. That I use people."

Spencer could practically hear Toby resisting the urge not to snort.

"Anyway, I don't really…want to get into everything he said." Jenna shivered, her eyes falling into her lap. Her fingers were shaking around the glasses. "But…after he was done yelling at me…I don't know how I got home. He kicked me out, but I could hardly see I was crying so hard. After Mitch and then Garrett…it was all just too much. When I made it back to Jason's house, I stumbled upstairs and then…just kind of lost it. I threw some things. Some textbooks. I broke my snow globe."

"The…gold one?" Spencer cleared her throat, looking over at Toby then back at her hands folded in her lap.

"Yeah. Why? Do you remember it?"

Spencer could feel Toby's eyes drilling holes into the side of her head and she nodded. "Uhm, vaguely." She cleared her throat. "Anyway, go on."

"And when I threw my old copy of _Great Expectations_ on the floor, a picture of Garrett and I slid out. It was from years ago – I hardly remember having it. But that…was the final nail in my coffin. I didn't really know what was going on. I rummaged through my drawers and found a pocketknife I stole from my parents when I was fifteen."

Spencer resisted the urge to ask why the hell she needed a pocketknife at such an age, for an answered popped into her head before she could voice her question.

"And…I got some pills from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and…well, you know the rest. I just…lost it. I didn't really intend for it to go that far. But…here I am, in the loony bin. And I guess I deserve it. I went too far. I need to have more control than that."

Spencer nodded and Toby sighed. "Well, I'm glad that you…told us that, Jenna." He said.

Jenna nodded. "Thanks for listening. It means a lot. Given what I've put you through recently." She finally set the glasses on the side table. "And my nurse told me that you all spent some time in the hospital while I was there. That you stayed there with me, and that you came to the ER when I was taken there." She looked up at them, "Why?"

Toby raised his eyebrows and looked over at Spencer, who shrugged. "I…I don't know. I guess it…it just felt like the right thing to do, Jenna."

Jenna gave a soft, bittersweet smile. "You both were always so good. I never gave you enough credit. Even when you both hated me…you had the right to. I think that the worst part about what Garrett said was that…t was all true."

Spencer and Toby were silent.

Spencer cleared her throat, "Has, uhm, has Garrett been to visit you?"

Jenna snorted, "Would you? If you were him?"

For that, Spencer had no answer.

"Well, thank you both for coming. And for listening. And for doing everything you've done for me in the past few weeks. It means the world. I think it's time I let you know that."

Toby gave a gentle smile, "You're welcome, Jenna."

"You can both go. I know it's late, and you're probably tired." Jenna said. She ran a hand through her hair.

Spencer nodded and got to her feet. Toby followed her to the door.

"Oh, and Jenna?" Spencer said before she stepped out, "I understand why you did it. What you did. I just wished I would have understood you sooner."

Jenna looked at her with her eyebrows furrowed, trying to comprehend what Spencer had just said. Spencer gave her a wry smile and then she and Toby disappeared into the ghostly hallway.

**wow! over 100 reviews for 18 lousy chapters? i have the best reviewers - i love you all like toby loves spencer **;)

**and i would like to thank Bree once more, for continuing to let me use her name and for being just her flawless self and an amazing best friend ;) love you baby girl!**

**tonights ep was kind of a disappointment :/ the spoby hug was the only good thing. i just want my babies to stop fighting and make babies already...**

**soundtrack for this chapter:**

**medicine - daughter**

**the argument - aidan hawken**


	20. The Time of Persuasion

Chapter 20:

In the Time of Persuasion

Hanna thought she'd seen the last of her cheerful young adult years by the time she finished her second coffee at a bakery in Brookhaven. She stared into the empty cup, scowling at the muddy, wet mounds of coffee grounds that had gathered at the bottom, and felt about eighty years old. Five days had gone by and not a single word from Caleb. She didn't even know if he was, in fact, moving to Montecito with his mother, though it wasn't too hard for her to guess, now that it seemed he had no other reason to stick around in Rosewood.

_Selfish_.

She scolded herself, closing her eyes tight and heaving in a deep breath. The soft early December rain had cleared, and the sky was a startling, cloudless white that burned through her closed lids through the window. She sat at the long, thin table that ran the along the edges of the nearly empty bakery, perched on a barstool and facing blankly out the window. Outside, people dressed in scarves and warm hats as winter settled over them, but Hanna was cold in a different way; she was cold in a way that shook her to her core, which blazed chills beneath the surface of her skin.

The sharp, frosty sting of abandonment.

_Screw you, Kelly Clarkson. And your stupid lying lyrics._ She thought bitterly, recalling the old song that had played on her radio that morning. No, Kelly, no. Hanna _didn't _feel stronger when she was alone. She felt lost. Sick. Lonely.

She feared the thought of this feeling never going away. What if she never found someone like Caleb? Someone who understood her?

Someone who loved her.

At least, he used to.

"Hanna?" A familiar voice awoke Hanna from her trance and her eyes snapped open. "Hanna Marin?"

She peered over her shoulder and furrowed her eyebrows. "Will Lovat? What…what are you doing here? Are you living here now?"

"In Brookhaven? Nah. But we're neighbors again, actually."

"You're back in Rosewood?"

"Indeed I am." Will smiled. He looked very different than how Hanna remembered him, and she cocked her head to the side as she took in his glasses, green beanie, wool overcoat, and cup of coffee.

Finally, she nodded, clearing her throat. Her gaze fell back into her lap, "Oh. That's great. I'm glad you, uh, were able to come back home." She said lamely, and silently cursed herself once more for not being gifted with the internal filter that picked out the right words to say.

Will's roving eyes found the copy of Jane Austen's _Persuasion_ that was laying beside her empty coffee on the table, and he pointed to it, "Something you're reading for school?" He asked.

"Huh?" Hanna's gaze snapped to the book, "Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, my English class gave out a list of approved authors and Spencer told me that this one was good. But so far, I'm not seeing it."

"Well, why not?" Will asked. He pulled out the chair beside her and absently sat down in it. "What don't you like about it?"

"Well, first of all, I think it's sad how they broke up in the first place. Why does timing play such a key role in how a relationship works out?"

"Well, timing really is everything, Hanna." Will replied, idly flipping through the pages of a novel. "Like, say you're in a sad situation, and you need a friend. And a friendly stranger just happens to be in the same situation, and you happen to both be in the same spot at the same time, and are able to talk and discuss your problems. That's good timing."

"Well, I feel like love conquers all no matter what, right?" Hanna knit her perfectly shaped brows and leaned into the book while he held it.

"I guess that's a good argument. How do you say?"

"Well, I mean, if you have love in your life, isn't that enough forever? Of course, what am I saying? I thought my parents had love. But that only led to heartbreak." Hanna shrugged.

"Sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to. So what? It doesn't mean that there isn't hope for a second chance at love. Isn't that what this book is all about?"

Hanna smiled bittersweetly. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is."

"Have you finished it yet?"

"The book? Nope. Not quite. What happens?" She asked eagerly.

"What, and spoil the ending for you? No way!" Will teased, snapping it shut and setting back in its original spot.

"Oh come on!" Hanna pleaded. "You have to tell me!"

"No, I don't!" Will shook his head, a bemused smile gracing his lips.

"Well, did it end the right way?"

"Whose version of right?"

"You know…everyone's."

"I'm not sure I'm familiar with that logic." Will chuckled, "But I think you'll understand why it ends the way it does."

"Hmm." Hanna picked up the book and turned it over in her hands. "Maybe it's not so bad after all."

* * *

><p>"See you later." Spencer smiled, bracing her elbows on the window frame of the driver's seat of the truck. She leaned into the car, and Toby met her halfway in a kiss. She grinned against his lips. "Thanks for the ride."<p>

"No problem." Toby said when she pulled back. "I'll pick you up after work. Now don't spend too much." His fingers toyed with a lock of her hair from her side ponytail.

"I know, I know, _Dad…_" Spencer teased. She readjusted her little navy beret and kissed his cheek, "Alright, get to work. Make me proud." She said, patting her fingers on the sky-blue t-shirt that covered his shoulder.

Toby saluted her teasingly and she leaned back, but before she could get too far, he slipped his hand behind her neck, pulling her back towards him and kissing her again. She giggled against his mouth. "Hurry home, Romeo. I have a fun evening planned for us tonight."

"Hmm…you know, I could call in sick if you want…" Toby teased, rubbing his nose against hers.

Spencer laughed, "As tempting as that sounds, you need to make some cash so we can buy decent gifts for our friends for Christmas. I don't think that they're going to go for fuzzy socks and Lindor chocolates again this year."

"Fine." Toby smiled and pecked her lips one more time. "See you tonight Juliet."

"See you." She stepped back from the car, and waved as he put the car into drive.

As Toby drove away from the curb, the truck revealed Hanna, Aria, and Bree standing in front of Macy's revolving door. The three of them had enormous grins on their faces and their hands clasped over their hearts. With their heads tilted to the side, they let out a resounding, "Aw!"

Spencer rolled her eyes as she hitched her purse higher on her shoulder and walked stiffly onto the pavement.

"It's like they're married already!" Bree giggled, and gripped Spencer's elbow when she reached them.

Hanna and Aria giggled and Spencer swatted them both over the head. They continued to cackle the entire way through the doorway as they entered Macy's, which was heavy-laden with holiday shoppers.

"I think you guys forget that Aria's the only one who's engaged." Spencer said stiffly, walking a few feet ahead of them.

"Not for long!" Aria sang, looping her elbow through Spencer's.

"Well, I still think this shopping trip is a waste. Who knows if I'll even find what I'm looking for? Which, come to think of it, is what, exactly? Like, what would be right as an engagement gift? Something like a ring? So, I get down on my knees and give him what?"

Hanna snickered loudly behind her and raised her hand to answer, and Spencer clapped a hand over her face, "_So_ didn't mean that how it sounded…"

Aria and Bree joined in with the giggles. Bree came to the other side of her at they made their way through the hustle and bustle of Macy's into the mall hallway. "Hey you." She poked her in the shoulder, "I'm still angry that you didn't tell me!"

"Well, I was a bit preoccupied with my boyfriend's step sister in a coo-coo hut and my sister's secret love child. Anyway, come to think of it, how in the world would Linda Channing know about my possible proposal? I wonder if a little blabber-mouth black-haired bird told her…" She gave Aria the devil glare, who merely shrugged and batted her hand in the air as if the push the problem away.

"Hey, you heard the Neon Trees. Everybody talks."

Spencer snorted and shook her head, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, stay on topic. So, is there anything nice that Toby would _need_? Like anything new he needs that still classy?" Hanna asked.

They rounded the corner, coming along another strip of shops. "Uhm, let me think…" Spencer replied. "Oh! He needs a new watch! If I get him a really nice one, that would be a pretty good representative of a ring, right?"

"Wait, what happened to the one I got him for his birthday?" Hanna furrowed her eyebrows.

"Uhm…I broke it…." Spencer avoided Hanna's eye contact and idly peered into a Bebe store window, faking insane interest in a sweater a mannequin was sporting.

"Wait, how would you break it?" Hanna continued.

"Uh…it smashed against the bedpost."

"Wait, how would that – "

"You know, I don't feel like answering questions right now, Dr. Watson…" Spencer gave a forced, nervous laugh and turned back to them. "Where's the nearest jewelers?"

* * *

><p>"Ooh, check out this sucker!" Hanna said, her eyes going huge at a large diamond ring in a display case that greeted them in the entryway of the shop. "Maybe Toby will be so grateful, he'll get you one of these babies, Spence!"<p>

Spencer snorted and rolled her eyes, making her way over to the watches section. Her eyes raked over the selection, spotting a few good ones.

"So wait, when are you going to do this…little thing?" Bree asked, coming up behind her.

"Uhm, I don't know." Spencer replied honestly. "I was brainstorming ideas, and maybe – "

"Oooh! What about New Years?!" Hanna said, her loud voice carrying over the length of the store. She hurried along towards them, her face a mask of excitement. "Think about it! Right when the clock strikes midnight, you pull out the watch and some really cheesy, romance-movie line about new beginnings or whatever and boom! You'll start the new year off as an engaged woman!"

"You know, that's not a bad idea!" Spencer said honestly. She nodded. "I like it! Good thinking Hanna. But wait, cheesy?! Uhm, have I ever said anything cheesy? Ever? In my lifetime? Come on, I'm Spencer Hastings, for crying out loud!"

Bree burst into a fit of giggles and Hanna rolled her eyes, laughing. "Fine, fine, you'll say something wonderfully classy and beautiful and poetic and romantic. Which we can figure out the details to later. Meanwhile, you, missy, need to pick out this watch. Alright, what kind are we looking for?"

"Well, just something that says quality but not 'Hey, I'm trying to buy your love.'"

"So, I'm guessing that the fourteen-grand solid gold Cartier might be off the list?" Aria asked, coming up behind her and tapping the glass case over where the gaudy watch sat.

"Yeah, you could say that." Spencer nodded.

"Hey, how about this one?" Hanna asked. She pointed to a sleek black leather watch with a silver face within the case.

Spencer furrowed her eyebrows and peered through the glass at the watch. "'Victorinox Swiss Army Watch, Men's Alliance Black Leather Strap.'" She read the label.

Bree whistled. "Ooh, fanc-ay." She said, drawing out the syllables.

"I like it, though." Aria nodded. "It's nice, but not too hoity-toity. Very…Toby-esque."

Spencer laughed and nodded. "It's perfect. I like it a lot."

"Me too." Hanna and Bree agreed.

"Time to send a pic to Em!" Aria said, fishing her cell phone out of her bag and snapping a quick photograph of the watch before any of the salepeople could notice. She quickly texted it to Emily before sliding her phone back into her bag. "There."

"Uh-oh." Bree scratched the back of her head. "Check out the price, Spence."

"Ooh." Spencer bit her lip when she saw the six followed by two zeros. "That's a little much."

"Hey, think of how much a ring would have been!" Hanna said stubbornly.

"That's true…" Spencer nodded. "But Toby has a job and an income; I'm living off of my parents' cash."

"Well, did the Bank of Mommy cut you a check recently?" Hanna asked.

"Yeah. But that would just about clean me out."

"Well, so what? Toby buys you your food all the time. You practically live out of his apartment. Unless there's some amazing boots at Saks that go for six hundred and would be better than having a husband, I think that this is worth it."

Spencer cocked her head to the side and looked at the watch again, then back at Hanna. "Alright." She decided. "Go get a cashier started."

"On it!" Bree volunteered before heading towards the jeweler's check out counter.

"Now we just have to work on what I'm going to say-slash-do when I give this to him." Spencer said.

"Hmm…I think I might have an idea…" Hanna replied, a mischievous grin crossing her face.

"Oh, God. Should I be scared?" Spencer asked worriedly.

"Uh, only if you have a deathly fear of happy-fiancée syndrome!" Hanna bobbed her head back and forth like a bobblehead, in a rather "Uh duh, stupid" way.

"Alright. Fine. What is it?"

"Okay. What's the first moment where you remember having a true connection with Toby?" Hanna asked.

"Uhm, junior year, when I came to tutor him in French. Why?"

"Okay, so you're going to write a poem-thingy and put it in the box with the watch." Hanna cleared her throat, putting on her best faux-romantic voice, "'Oh my, how _time_ has gone by, it feels like just yesterday we were reading _Catcher in the Rye. _We conjugated verbs and adjectives and nouns, soon I'll be shopping for bridal gowns…'"

"Oh man…" Spencer clapped a hand over her face while Aria jumped up and down, joining in. "Hallmark called, they want their slogans back."

"For a while my trust in you would falter, but in a bit of _time_ we'll be at the alter!" Aria continued, clapping her hands.

"Those three words eight letters and an old pick up truck, finding you was the best of luck!" Hanna said.

"Alright enough with the Hallmark card cheesy romance, ok?" Spencer said. "Do you _want _me to sound like Dr. Seuss, Han? Rhymes and puns up the ying-yang?"

"Oh come it! It's sweet! Toby'd like it!"

"Doubt it…" Spencer rolled her eyes.

But before Hanna could voice a retort, Bree returned with a salesman to unlock the case and bring out the watch. "That one." Bree pointed to the one they had collectively selected. "The black Swiss Army one."

The salesman smiled kindly and opened the case. Spencer reached her hand inside and picked up the watch, feeling it in her palm. She inspected it for a moment before nodded. "Yep. This is the one."

* * *

><p>"Alright, can we <em>please <em>get Taco Bell or something? Or at least McDonalds? I need meat now or I'll start eating Aria." Hanna said once the girls walked down the mall hallway, avoiding busybody holiday shoppers. The mall was already decked out for Christmas, with wreaths adorning the front of the escalators, and decorated evergreen trees in nearly every corner.

"Hey why me first?" Aria protested. She hitched her Macy's bag higher on her shoulder and pushed a lock of black hair out of her eyes.

"Because you're closest. And tiniest, so it would be easier to hold you down."

"Mmm, that's comforting…" Aria replied.

"Alright, can we at least hit Starbucks? I need to set these bags down. My arms hurt." Hanna said, pointing to the coffee shop at the next corner.

"Well, you didn't have to buy seven pairs of shoes, Han." Spencer said. The blonde fashionista had dragged them into Victoria's Secret, Cache, Nordstrom, and JCPenney's after they had left the jewelers. Bree had a tiny PINK bag handing from her elbow, Aria a few little accessories bags filled with feathered hair pieces from Macy's, and Hanna was hauling at least two bags from each store they had gone into.

"Well, maybe I need something to take my mind off things, Spence." Hanna said tightly, keeping her gaze ahead.

Spencer resisted the urge to push her further, knowing that she was at a tender stage in the break-up. She instead gripped the handle of her jewelers bag tighter as the four friends rounded the corner, nearing Starbucks. A subtle beep from her purse alerted her that someone – presumably Toby – was trying to get ahold of her. She dug her hand into her bag and began fumbling around for it as they stumbled through the doorway.

"Can we just talk about how cute these boots are, though? I'm thinking about wearing them to my dad's for his Christmas party. Of course, with my luck Kate will be wearing the same – " Hanna's voice cut off sharply and she came to a halt just before the line started, causing a disoriented, still-pawing-for-phone Spencer to collide into her back.

"Hey, Han, what's your – " But her voice cut off when she saw Hanna's line of vision.

There, in the corner of Starbucks, amongst a stack of textbooks, sat Caleb, drinking coffee, but otherwise not moving. Hanna's eyes drilled holes into his skull, but he didn't seem to notice her existence. Either that or he chose not to. Spencer could practically feel the tension between them, like a tethered rope, tying them together. Like gravity.

"Uhm, here, let's…let's just go to Orange Julius." Aria said quickly, reaching out and taking Hanna's hand. Hanna stood still like a statue, staring. Spencer took her other hand and together, she and Aria tugged her along, out of the shop, with Bree at their heels.

And as the four girls silently traveled father and father away from the coffee shop, Spencer knew why Hanna had been so shocked.

It wasn't because she hadn't seen Caleb since their breakup.

It wasn't because she didn't know what to say.

It wasn't that she thought he didn't notice her.

It was because he was holding a brochure for a college in Montecito in his hands.

**gah! sorry about the late update/short ch. i kinda had writers block for this one.**

**first of all, what do you think of Will? is he trustworthy? hmm...?**

**also, im taking some requests for the next chapter, b/c i need somewhat of a buffer chapter between this one and the next one i have planned. it might just be some fluff with Spoby, but just lemme know what you guys wanna hear/read ;)**

**playlist for this chapter:**

**1) little bird - ed sheeran**

**2) i miss you - blink-182**

**3) corner - allie moss**

**thanks again to my darling love, bree, for always letting me use her lovely name ;) love to pieces baby girl!**

**live love spoby,**

**AJ**


	21. And the Devil Comes to Collect His Own

Chapter 21:

And the Devil Comes to Collect His Own

Spencer had grown up watching the empowering movies where the friends got in a car and drove through a city with lights flashing by, the perfect song playing loudly in the background, all the while the craziest of the group leaned nearly their entire torso out the window.

Bliss. Pure bliss.

And, every year, on December 9th, Spencer got her dream movie moment.

"Crank up the music!" Hanna commanded Ezra, who was being the steering wheel, "I can still hear myself think!"

Spencer laughed and took another drink of her hot cider. She, Hanna, Bree, and Toby were crammed in the back seat of Ezra's new (ahem, used) BMW, while the engaged couple lounged up in front. All six of them were well equipped with scarves and sweaters for the cold Pennsylvania night.

Toby, whose arm was wrapped tightly around Spencer, pointed out the window at one of the houses that buzzed past, "Whoa, look at that one!"

"Damn!" Bree agreed, "They pulled out all the stops for that one!" Bree looked over her shoulder as the exquisitely decorated house loomed further and further in the distance.

""Shhh! This is my favorite part of the song!" Hanna, who had had maybe one too many martinis back at Ezra and Aria's apartment, shouted, closing her eyes and letting her head fall back against the headrest of the chair.

Spencer giggled and returned her gaze out the window.

Ever since the friends had started college, they had made it an annual holiday custom to go Christmas light-watching in Pittsburg on December 9th. They all met at one of their apartments beforehand for dinner and then piled into a car and drove off into the night. It was always one of Spencer's favorite parts of the holidays, spending time all together.

Of course, this year, they were missing a member of their group.

Hence the reason for Hanna's excessive martini intake.

But, the blonde-haired fashionista appeared to be fine as she waved her hands back and forth to the song that blasted through the speakers.

"Look at that one." Toby whispered in Spencer's ear, predictably causing shivers to burn through her veins.

"It's beautiful." Spencer said in awe as they passed a tall house with twinkling gold lights, and a full Nativity set out front.

"Yes, you are." Toby murmured, absently nuzzling her temple.

"Psh, shut up, Leonardo DiCaprio."

Toby chuckled against her cheek and Spencer took another sip of her cider. He lightly kissed her hair and then looked back out the window.

"Ah! We're coming up on the bridge!" Bree exclaimed, clapping her glove-clad hands.

"Ooh!" Hanna said, and promptly sat up on her knees, clambering over Bree and onto the stretch of space between Aria and Ezra's seats.

"Hanna what are you doing?!" Aria asked, halfway between laughing and scolding.

"Shh!" Hanna waved her hand in Aria's face and fumbled around on the ceiling for the button that opened the window on the roof of the car. Once she located it, she pressed it and peeked her head through the opening, balancing on her knees.

"Hanna!" Spencer laughed, her eyes wide.

"I got her." Toby said, reaching out and getting a good grip on the back of Hanna's jacket to keep her from falling backwards. As the chorus of the song came around Hanna stretched her hands over her head in the night air, letting her head fall back as they began to cross the bridge.

"Whooooo!" She exclaimed.

The rest of the crew laughed and sang along to the rest of lyrics with her, all of them overcome with the feeling of togetherness and holiday cheer.

_"__It's time to begin, isn't it?_

_I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit_

_I'm just the same as I was_

_Now don't you understand_

_That I'm never changing who I am…"_

* * *

><p>"Next time, if I pick up a third martini, get it away from me. I don't care if you have to sit on me and hold me down by my hair to pry it out of my lifeless hands. Just get it away from me." Hanna shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. Her short blonde curls stuck up in odd, furry tuffs around her head and her old eye-makeup rimmed her eyes like she had just escaped from Azkaban prison in the cold of night – the signs of a signature Hanna hangover.<p>

Spencer snorted and set a glass of ginger ale in front of her from across the counter. "Drink up. This kind of drink will actually _help_ you."

"But did you need to put it in a martini glass?" Hanna asked bluntly, lifting the glass to her lips.

"Hey, it's not my fault you haven't done dishes in the past week. It was the only thing left. Plus, it's a good reminder for you to have better judgment next time."

Hanna sighed and set the glass back on the counter.

"Hey." Spencer reached out to cover Hanna's hand with hers. "Are you alright? Are you still sad about seeing Caleb?"

"No." Hanna said blankly after a moment.

"You're lying."

"I know. But I can't let him see me look weak." Hanna replied. "He needs to make this choice on his own; without any intervening from me. We're two different people now. I have to get used to that."

Spencer shook her head. "I'm so sorry, Han."

"Yeah, well, me too." Hanna said bitterly. She bit her lip and shook her head slowly from side to side. "I wish I had been smarter about this. Now look. I've lost him forever."

Spencer didn't want to discourage her, but she didn't want to give her false hope either.

"Look, I have to go. I'm meeting Aria. But, hey, call me if you need anything."

"Spence, I've had a hangover before; I'm pretty sure I know how it works."

The side of Spencer's mouth quirked up in a bitter smile. "Alright. But call me anyway, alright?"

Hanna sighed and she looked up at her, shaking her head in a very _"What am I going to _do _with you?_" sort of way, "Mmm…okay."

"Try not to watch too much Law and Order."

"Might as well ask me to bend water with my own mind…"

* * *

><p>"Hello? Mr. St. Clair?" Spencer knocked on the half-open office door. "Are you in there?"<p>

The door opened slightly more to reveal Toby's boss sitting at his desk. He looked up at her with a sincere smile on his face, "Oh, hi, Spencer! I didn't see you there! Come on in, have a seat."

Although she had only met him at a few company get-togethers, Mr. St. Clair had taken it upon himself to befriend Spencer, as well as the rest of his employees' girlfriends, and treat them with their desired respect.

"Oh, no, actually, I can't stay – I'm meeting a friend for coffee. I was just wondering if you had seen Toby – I wanted to stop by and drop off his suit jacket for the dinner tonight. Have you seen him?"

"Actually, you just missed him." He replied, "He ran out to get some food on his lunch break. But hey, you can leave it here and I'll make sure it gets to him when he returns."

"That would be great, thanks." Spencer smiled. She stepped into the office and laid Toby's black jacket over the back of a chair in front of Mr. St. Clair's desk.

"Oh, and hey, if you happen to talk to him," Mr. St. Clair said as Spencer was on her way out the door. "Would you mind telling him that he needs to call Henry Peterson back? I'll probably forget."

"Uhm, sure…" Spencer furrowed her eyebrows. "Who, uh, who's Henry – "

But Mr. St. Clair cut her off, "I guess it seems like a nice thing for Kevin to do for him for the holidays – but Toby doesn't seem too into the idea does he? I mean, he'd have to fly down right after Christmas if it all works out."

"Uh…" Spencer, still lost, stood in the doorway while Mr. St. Clair rambled on.

"Of course, it would put his career years into the future, and do wonders for his resume." He continued, "It just doesn't seem like he wants to go down for the job interview."

"Job interview…?"

"Oh, well, you two are probably still discussing it. I don't want to influence his decision or anything. But, I just have to say that we'll miss him if he does take the offer."

Spencer, finally catching on, felt her eyes go wide. She cleared her throat and faked understanding, "Yeah, well, uhm, he's still trying to…figure some things out." She cleared her throat again.

"Yeah, well, if you could just let him know that Henry called, that would be great." Mr. St. Clair smiled. "Hey, are you alright, Spencer?"

"Hmm? Oh, fine. Just fine."

* * *

><p>"Wait, slow down – <em>job interview<em>?" Aria asked, knitting her eyebrows over her eyes, which were widened in shock.

"Yeah." Spencer nodded, letting out a hard breath. She stared intently into the top of her coffee cup, still semi-frozen from the news.

"Well, what did Toby say when he told you?"

"Ugh, he doesn't even know that I know." Spencer groaned, her head falling back against the back of her chair, "And I'm really hesitant on telling him."

"What? Why?!" Aria demanded, "You should be mad that he hasn't told you!"

"Well, it wasn't like he went out of his way to try and _get_ the job." Spencer rubbed her temples, "One of his co-workers set him up with it."

"Well, is this guy trying to doom your relationship?" Aria asked, "Because, I know a guy that can make him go away – "

"It's not necessary, Aria!" Spencer rolled her eyes.

"Well…do you think he's going to take the job?"

"Well, I don't know. I mean, he obviously wouldn't ask me to move _with_ him; he knows that I'm knee-deep in school and I've already transferred once. It wouldn't be fair. But do you know how selfish it would be for me to ask him about it? It would only make him feel guilty, and influence his decision."

"He's not going to take it, Spence. He wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with you here in Rosewood."

"What, in this little shoe-box apartment in this run-down town that everyone dreams of getting out of?" Spencer replied bluntly. "I'm the one who's keeping him here, Aria. I'm the reason he wouldn't want to take that offer. I'm the reason he can't make anything of himself outside of Rosewood."

"Spencer." Aria grasped Spencer's hand. "Listen to me. That is not true _at all_. Toby _loves_ you. More than anything in the world. It only takes a second of knowing him to realize that you're his whole world. You _saved_ him Spencer, the same way he saved you. For the longest time, you were the only one he could trust. And he was there for you when no other guy was. You complete each other. Just like Ezra completes me. That's why you take these hard obstacles one at a time and face them _together_."

Spencer smiled wryly and sighed, shaking her head. "I just don't want to tell him that I know. I really want him to make the choice on his own. Even if he probably won't take it…I want him to make the choice."

Aria nodded. "You'll figure it out. I promise. You two always do. Just…keep thinking about your proposal. It'll keep your mind off of it."

"Well, right now, we have to think about _your_ wedding." Spencer decided, hastily fishing out a tablet from her bag. "Now, red or white roses?"

* * *

><p>During the years of high school when Mona tormented her life, Spencer learned the practice of forced relaxation. She'd used that tactic for multiple things in the years following, rather it be for the stress exams, problems with friends, or the occasional fight with Toby, Spencer developed a way to forcibly calm herself down so that she wouldn't be struck with a panic attack.<p>

Like that night, as she sat alone in her dorm room, she turned on _Mean Girls_ on the old, staticy TV, prepared a bowl of chips and a heaping plate of hummus, and raked her hair back into a messy bun to take her mind off of the three things that were rattling her cage: tomorrow's exam, her proposal, and Toby's mysterious job interview. She flopped down on her bed, stretching out her arms and trying to get comfortable, when her cell phone rang. She squinted in the dim light of the lamp at the caller ID and hesitantly hit ACCEPT.

"Hey." She said softly, unsurely.

"Hey, beautiful." Toby's optimistic voice replied on the other end, "How are you holding up?"

"Fine." She replied, a small smile gracing her lips. "How's the dinner going?"

"Well, it's…it's going."

"Mmm, food not so good?"

"No, it's fine, it's just…not something I'd like to be going at the moment. Kevin keeps hounding me with questions and Jim brought his new wife, Kara – complete with the mega-botox and all."

Spencer snickered. "I think I remember her from the last company barbeque." She nervously fingered her comforter. "So…so what's Kevin asking you about?" She held her breath, wondering if he would, in fact, confess to having been offered the job.

"Just the regular old stuff – nothing special." Toby responded, sounding at ease. "Are you sure you don't want to head out here? I think you'd have fun."

"You know I'd love to be there at the company dinner, but I have an exam tomorrow. I need to get a good night's sleep."

"Then are you sure you don't want me to swing by your dorm and pick you up and take you back to the apartment? We can watch old movies."

"As intriguing as that sounds, I seriously need to have a clear head tomorrow." Spencer said. "Not hurrying in there five minutes late with a comb stuck to my hair and wearing one of your t-shirts as a dress."

"Ah, that would be rather unprofessional." Toby chuckled on the other end. "Wait," Spencer could hear suspicion in his voice. "Hang on, what are you wearing?"

Spencer bit her lip with a smile, "Nothing."

"Alright, first of all, that's a lie, because I happen to know that Thursday night is flannel pajama night for you. And second, was that really necessary? It's not like I can actually enjoy this dinner with that thought on my mind…"

Spencer giggled, "Well, it's fun to send up follow ups and confuse you. Trust me, it's like my favorite pastime. Why did you ask anyway?"

"There's just a girl here that looks a lot like you from the back…but then she turned and I realized that she looks nothing like you."

"Maybe you're seeing things. You're probably going through Spencer-withdrawal syndrome."

"I saw you this morning!"

"Yeah, a whole twelve hours ago. That's what I mean."

Toby chuckled. "Are you sure you don't want me to come home?"

"No, no, please. Stay there. Kiss up to your boss and put in a good word for me."

Toby laughed on the other end. "Alright. Goodnight. Get some sleep so I won't have to drag you to your final tomorrow."

"Roger that, Romeo."

"Love you, Juliet."

"_'One fairer than my love? The all-seeing sun, Ne'er saw her match since first the world begun." _Spencer replied verbatim.

"I'm rolling my eyes now…"

Spencer giggled. "Alright, alright. Just brushing up on my Shakespearean sonnets. Love you, Romeo."

"Sleep tight."

Spencer hung up and set her phone on her side table, fishing her textbook out of her bag. She had hardly read a single page and tasted one bite of hummus before a thought began to peck at her like a bird.

Her gaze rose up to Toby's watch, which sat completely unguarded on her dresser, and pursed her lips. She couldn't just keep it here, could she? She would need a place to hide it in case Toby found it. Not like he was one to go rummaging through her drawers for a pair of nylons – that was more Hanna's area – but with Spencer…you could never be too careful.

She slid off of her bed and grabbed a pair of jeans off the back of her desk chair and changed quickly, throwing on a pair of sneakers. The night air would be cold at this time of the year, and she hastily rummaged through her tiny closet in search of her winter coat. Damn. Bree must have borrowed it when she went out to her study group with some friends. Turning back to the bed, Spencer's eyes fell on a pile of black fabric – Jenna's thick jacket that was returned to her by Dr. Hale a few days before. Spencer had made arrangements to visit Jenna and return the jacket to her at Radley within the next few days, but for the time being, it sat untouched on her dresser. Like aging mummy wrappings, something that once covered someone who was now dead inside.

Like it had beheld some kind of leprosy.

Spencer shook her head, chasing her thoughts away and numbly grabbed for the jacket, sliding her arms through the holes and depositing the watch in its case in the pocket. Reaching for her bag, she headed out the door, locked it, and found her way to her car.

* * *

><p>Aria and Ezra's new apartment was just off of the main road near Hollis. Spencer could get there blindfolded. She hated to admit that in the rare occasion that Ezra was out of town, she and Aria and Hanna had spent some rather alcohol-induced nights in his living room, dancing around to Gaga and jumping on the couch. Of course, when Ezra returned and asked why the place reeked of Chanel No. 5 and Hanna's puke, Aria came up with some clever lie and it all just disappeared under a rug.<p>

Spencer thought that the Fitz-Montgomery apartment would be a perfect place to hide Toby's proposal gift. If worst came to worst and Toby did, indeed, stop by Ezra's place to pick up who-knows-what and discovered the watch, Ezra could at least make up a decent, realistic lie and be done with it. Of course, Toby would have to be rummaging uselessly through Aria's bathroom drawers or through the couch cushions to even come close to finding it, but it gave Spencer some peace of mind to know that it would be safe, guarded, and well hid.

As she came upon the light before the turn onto Ezra's street, she spotted Hanna's car parked outside Hollis Bar and Grill. Furrowing her eyebrows, she drove straight through when the light turned green and parked behind Hanna's BMW. Getting out, she sauntered onto the sidewalk and into the bar.

Two years previous, the owner of Hollis Bar and Grill, Jack Jacobs, had died from cancer and left it to his son, Kenny. Of course, Kenny was only eighteen at the time and on his way to UCLA for a full ride football scholarship – not exactly the prime time to pick up a life in the restaurant business. So, he sold the place to Harvey and Vienna, who made some major renovations (but not too many, seeing as it would take away the 'ambience' of Ezra and Aria's first meet), and turned it into a pretty decent joint. Their group of friends went there on occasion – a Friday night or perhaps for a birthday party – but other than that, Spencer and her friends rarely visited the bar.

Which is why it surprised Spencer to see Hanna, perched on a bar stool, upon entering. She sat alone, her elbows on the table, her body bowed over whatever she was drinking. The bartender stood behind the counter polishing scotch glasses, but other than that, the place was empty. One of Hall & Oats' songs played low in the background, the only sound to be heard.

"Hanna?" Spencer knit her eyebrows and hesitantly approached the bar, "What are you doing here?"

Her friend turned to her. She didn't look too much different than the way she had when Spencer had seen her that morning, bedridden with a wicked hangover, but somehow she must have managed to pull herself together enough to wander down the street to the bar.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Spencer asked accusatorily, her eyes going wide at the glass of vodka soda in front of her. From the dilated pupils and misty look in Hanna's eye, Spencer could tell it hadn't been her first drink of the night, "I thought you were completely hung over this morning!"

Hanna looked back into her drink, picking it up and swirling it around in her hand. "I saw Caleb today. He was by the train station. I think he was buying a ticket for Montecito." She said coldly, her voice slightly uncentered.

Spencer grabbed at Hanna's drink, yanking it away from her, and Hanna closed her eyes tight. "I just wanted to forget. Is that so bad?" She murmured softly, her voice slurring a bit. "I know this has happened to you before, Spence. You're just a big of a screw-up as I am."

Spencer narrowed her eyes, letting out a sigh and shaking her head. "Han…you can't keep doing this."

"You know, you don't know how it feels, though." Hanna said, completely ignoring Spencer's comment. "To wake up in the morning, maybe a little hungover, and realize that you're completely alone in the world. And that there's nothing you can do about it."

"Hanna, believe me, I – "

"And then when you try to get through the day, you just think "Why? What am I looking forward to? What am I working towards?" Because when you get home, there's no one waiting for you. There's no one to hold you or tell you you did a good job or anything…it's just you and your old couch." Hanna let out a hard breath. "And you hate feeling that way."

"Okay, I'll talk to Caleb for you…Just, just let me drive you home, okay?"

"No!" Hanna exploded, and the bartender turned. Spencer waved him off, mouthing that she was taking care of it. "I don't…I don't want…want you to talk to him, Spencer." Her eyes were unfocused, her gaze hazy. She swayed back and forth as she turned sharply in her seat. "I don't wanna…" She said incoherently, the words bubbling past her lips drunkenly.

Spencer sighed and shook her head. "Alright. No Caleb. I won't talk to him, ok?" She took Hanna's hand. "Now will you please let me take you home?"

Tears welled up in Hanna's eyes and she pressed her lips together. Her chin trembled and she nodded, looking so helpless and childlike that it almost made Spencer weepy as well.

"Come on." Spencer helped Hanna slide off the barstool and fished into her own jean pocket, pulling out a tip for the bartender and setting it on the bar beside Hanna's unfinished drink.

She led Hanna out to her BWM, reaching into Hanna's purse and pulling out her keys. "Here, I'll drive you home and then walk back to get my car, alright?" She said as she helped Hanna into the passenger's seat. Hanna fell into the car like dead weight and Spencer closed the door, rounding to the driver's side and sliding into the vehicle. Sticking the key into the ignition, she put it in drive and pulled the car out from the curb, driving down along the street towards Hanna's apartment by Hollis.

"You know, you're lucky, Spencer." Hanna said. Her words were slightly slurred, but Spencer understood them.

"Oh really?" Spencer asked absently, her voice slightly bitter. "How so? With my newly pregnant sister, my boyfriend's psychotic step-sister, and my fresh-out-of-the-hospital half-brother?"

"No…" Hanna replied. "Because you have Toby."

Spencer sighed, "Han…"

"No. No, it's not just because you have a screw-buddy or anything." When Hanna was drunk, all filters – if she had any to begin with – crumbled to dust, "Or because you have a man to call your own but because Toby really cares about you. I see it. I know it. You guys, like, change each other for the better. You make each other stronger…like, like in that movie with the vampires, remember that?"

"_Twilight?"_

"Yeah."

"You always hated that movie."

"I did?" Hanna asked hazily. "Hmm." She shrugged and continued, her eyes wandering to the golden lights that whizzed by as Spencer turned the corner onto her street. "Well, you guys found a way to be together, through all of the hardships. And Caleb and I couldn't even last through a single fight…"

"Hanna, you either have to forget about this or call Caleb. Because one of these nights, I'm not going to be here when you pick up a bottle of scotch, or order a few too many drinks at Hollis Bar because the bartender is too lazy to put you on limit. Okay?"

But Hanna was already snoring, sound asleep beside her. Spencer snorted and rolled her eyes. She got out of the car and walked around the side, opening the door and pulling a half-alseep, still-mumbling Hanna out of the vehicle and helping her up the stairs to her apartment. She unlocked the door with Hanna's keys and led her into her bedroom, where she let her collapse, fully clothed on top of the covers on her bed. Hanna murmured something Spencer couldn't make out, followed by a slurry "Caleb…" before curling up into a ball and drifting away into a full state of sleep.

Spencer kissed the top of her head. "Goodnight, Hanna."

* * *

><p><em>If there were ever a more inconvenient time to close a shop at night, it would be now… <em>Spencer thought scornfully, giving the front door to Hollis Bar a few more good yanks, but knowing the attempt was useless. After walking back to the bar to retrieve her car and finish her drive to Aria and Ezra's place, Spencer realized she had forgotten her keys on the bar counter inside the building. Cursing under her breath, Spencer began to walk towards the alleyway that separated Hollis Bar and Grill from an old abandoned shoe store. She figured that the bartender would probably still be in back, gathering up his things before leaving for the night, and she could ask him to unlock the door and let her kindly retrieve her keys and be on her way.

Even though Spencer had spent years getting used to the creepy horror-movie-like scenarios that A had so generously laid out for her, she still got chills down her spine in moments like this. A dark, abandoned alleyway late at night, when the rest of the world was asleep and the street lights flickered on to illuminate the streets…it all made Spencer's skin crawl. She cleared her throat and began to walk briskly along the alley, avoiding dumpsters and piled of garbage.

The alleyway reeked of old garbage – probably from the bar's leftovers – and she could see the heaping amounts of graffiti tattooing the red bricks of the walls. Spencer didn't even want to imagine the kind of gangs that hung out there on a daily basis.

Suddenly, two black figures in coats appeared at the end of the alleyway. Spencer froze, having immediate flashbacks, which she ultimately chased away. She stood still for a moment, but when the hooded figures came closer chattering amongst themselves, she backed up and began walking the other way, back to the front of the alleyway. But before she could reach it, two more hooded men closed in over the opening of the alley. Her heart quickly sped up and she backed up involuntarily, until she was in the middle of the alley, between the four men. She wet her lips, trying to think over the loud sound of her pulse pounding in her eardrums. As if on queue, the four figures began to loom closer, closing in on her. She stood planted to the spot, desperately trying to think of a way to get past them.

"Ooh, hey look who it is…" One of the voices on her right slurred. The four of them came even closer, until they were in a circle around her.

"Uhm, I don't know who you're looking for but…if you could just let me through I'll be on my way…" Spencer said, hurrying to brush past the one on her left.

"Not so fast…" The figure grasped her shoulders tightly, preventing her from getting past him. He roughly pressed her back into the middle of the circle and the other three men chuckled. It was obvious that all four of them were drunk out of their minds, and the second one to her right had a half-empty bottle of whiskey in his grasp. Spencer's breathing was getting too fast. Her palms were sweaty and she felt clammy all over. Immediately, her mind went into full panic mode.

"Hey, why don't you hang out with us here tonight…after all, you owe it to us, don't you?" One on her left said, reaching out to grasp her arm.

She flinched, jerking away. "Don't you _dare_ touch me." She replied harshly, narrowing her eyes. "Move aside and let me go." She said, hoping that the rough approach might make them back down.

But they just cackled with laughter, like four hyenas, their whiskey breath condensing the air around her, surrounding her. It made her want to puke.

"Hey, don't be like that…" One on her right tried to grab for her, and she quickly turned, snapping out her fist and nailing him in the nose. She felt the bone crunch beneath her force and he stumbled back, his hand flying to his face.

"Why…you…" He came up to her fast, grasping her shoulders and shaking her hard, "You little bitch! Did you forget everything we did for you, huh? Did you?! We came back to collect, Jenna. And collect we will."

Confused and terrified, Spencer knit her eyebrows, "Jenna…?" But then it hit her. Jenna's _coat_. She was…she had put on Jenna's coat and these four drunken men had mistaken her for Jenna.

"Wait, I'm not – !" She tried desperately, but the man behind her had already clapped his hand over her mouth. She frantically tried to bite into his flesh, but his grip was too tight. The third man pinned her arms down while the one she had punched leered over her.

"You think this is some kind of a game, Jenna? We had a deal, remember?" His words were garbled, but his tone was harsh enough for her to recognize his intent.

When she tried to drive her knee up and hit him, he clutched the front of her shirt beneath her coat, hauling her into the air and driving her back hard against the brick alley wall. One of the other men groped beneath her shirt, feeling around her stomach drunkenly and she thrashed and kicked to get him away. Before she could scream, the one pinning her against the wall put his hand over her mouth, and her cry was muffled. The one touching beneath her shirt let his hand venture further upwards, and he made a low wolf-whistle, "Hey guys, are you sure she's the same Jenna? I mean, she doesn't feel more than a twelve-year-old girl." Spencer could barely hear their low laughter over the sound of her racing heart and tears welled up in her eyes, her face burning. The rest of the men didn't seem to take the other's comment too seriously, or maybe they were just all drunk enough to believe she really was Jenna. She could finally squirm hard enough to kick the stomach of the man who was grouping her, and he groaned, doubling over and stumbling back. The one gripping her shirt leaned into her face, and she could hardly breathe as the neck of her t-shirt, strained in his grasp, constricted her airways.

"Did you forget what we did for you, Jenna? Huh?!" He demanded, and the whiskey smell on his breath made her nauseous. "Did you?!" Suddenly, she felt his hand leave her mouth and second later, his fist drove into the right side of her rib cage and she cried out in pain. His hand that was still holding the collar of her shirt pulled her from the wall, holding her above the ground, only to drive her backwards into the same position again, smacking her head hard on the bricks and she shrieked in agony again. She tried to form words, cry out that she wasn't Jenna, but his hand closed over her mouth once more. The other three men loomed behind him, leering closer, and she felt the edge of something sharp glide across her shoulder, slicing into the coat and onto her skin. The coppery smell of her own blood filled her nostrils and she knew that she was close to passing out. Her vision was cloudy and her limbs felt weak. The blow to her head had made her weary, and she could hardly keep her eyes open.

_I'm just…so tired… _she thought incoherently. _And I'm not…Jenna._ Exhausted she gasped as the man pinning her against the wall shook her violently. Her feet were still elevated above the ground and his hold on the front of her shirt made it nearly impossible to breathe now. She just…wanted to sleep. To give in.

She could vaguely see him raise his fist and she closed her eyes tight, expecting another hit, but suddenly, the sound of tires screeching against pavement made the four of them turn their heads towards the front opening of the alleyway.

"Oh dammit…" The man holding her muttered. The three others mumbled and fumbled around, and one of them dropped the bottle of whiskey, the glass shattering on the pavement.

"Someone's coming…"

"Oh crap."

"Go, go, go!" The men exclaimed amongst themselves, and the one holding her let go of her shirt, taking off down the backside of the alley with the other three. Having been elevated so high off of the ground, her body feel forward, and she tried to catch herself, but her arms felt like jelly. She crashed hard against the ground, her temple cracking against the cement. She groaned and her vision got even cloudier. The smell of her own blood was almost overwhelming, now, and her sore airways could hardly choke back any oxygen. She needed to succumb.

The last thing she saw clearly was a pair of car headlights shining in front of the alley opening, and she heard the sound of a car door closing and footsteps hurrying down the alley.

Then, everything went black.

**dun dun dun! hope that wasnt too...uhm, intense for you guys. i love all of the feedback i'm getting from you! you guys are all amazing, really. i love you all more than anything.**

**so im sooo sorry its been a billion years since i updated. i just started back up with classes and theyve been kind of consuming my life. **

**so what do you think jenna's done to make these four drunken men so angry? ;)**

**cant wait for the finale on tuesday! hopefully i'll have time to update tomorrow!**

**i'd love it if you guys would keep the reviews coming - give me some feedback! ;)**


	22. You Come Undone

Chapter 22:

You Come Undone

C.S. Lewis once described grief as something alike in form to fear. Something unsettling, that brings about new feelings and unearths fears from your past that have been buried so deep, you didn't even know they were in there anymore.

Fear. It's a powerful thing. No one knew the feeling better than Hanna, who had been through countless fearful encounters. Whether it was being hit head on by a car in full motion, losing a best friend to evil, being stabbed in the leg with a knife after being locked in a house with no easy way out…Hanna knew the drill. In many ways, the whole account with A had made her stronger; braver.

But this was where she was lacking in her bravery. In these moments – these fragile, raw moments – was where she paled. Where she fell. Where she was broken down.

Hanna Marin, the girl who laughed in the face of death and played around with fate until it didn't know which way was up. But also the girl who put her soul into the people she cared about. And crumbled to dust when she saw them go.

Like that night, when she got a call from Rosewood Community hospital after only an hours worth of sleep. Her attempt to sleep away her hangover had been an epic fail, and she fumbled around in the dark for her vibrating phone. She found her purse on the floor and knelt on the carpet. Her vision blurred, still not completely out of the influence of her multiple drinks from the night as she wrapped her fingers around her cell and hit ACCEPT, raising it to her ear. Wren's worried voice on the other line brought with it a bundle of catastrophic news, and her blood ran cold.

His voice was so far away as he repeated over and over, "Hanna? Hanna!" But her numb fingers dropped the phone. She felt like throwing up. Was it happening? Was it real?

Had it really been all her fault?

If Spencer hadn't driven her home…she wouldn't have had to go through the alleyway to try to get her keys. She wouldn't have been found bleeding and unconscious on the cement floor, like in those gory crime scene movies.

She wouldn't be the reason that Wren was calling her in the dead of night, delivering such news.

And there, in the middle of the floor of her dirty, run-down apartment, is when Hanna Marin finally lost it.

She picked up her phone and shakily got to her feet, hardly able to see through the combination of her hangover and tears, and chucked it hard against the wall, watching as it broke into pieces and fell to the carpet. Breathing heavily, she whirled around and grasped the pillow from her bed, chucking that across the room as well. She stumbled over to her desk and picked up her textbooks, hurling them to the floor, grunting with anger and frustration. She kicked her chair over and then began to pound the side of her fist into the back of her door. After she got a few good hits against the wood, she realized that her hand began to hurt. And her bones began to ache. The tears welling up in her eyes pored over and she hit the door once more before letting her forehead fall against it, unable to control the sobs now. She turned so that her back was flush against the door and slid down it until she was sitting on the ground again. She covered her face with her hands and tried to catch her breath as her body was wracked with sobs, her shoulders heaving. A few incoherent words passed her lips without her knowing:

_"My fault…"_

_ "Spencer…"_

_ "Please…"_

_ "God, no…"_

_ "I'm so sorry…"_

Finally able to lift her head up, Hanna fumbled with shaky fingers for her purse. She scrubbed at her eyes with the back of her free hand as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Her fingers finally wrapped around the keys, and she tugged them out of her bag, getting to her feet, and hurrying for the door.

She had to make it there.

For Spencer.

She just had to.

* * *

><p>The worst part for Emily was the waiting.<p>

The long, drawn out minutes, that slowly became hours, which went by at the pace of a snail. Each second, each tick of the clock, felt like a beat of her pulse, pounding in her ears. Painfully loud. Painfully slow.

Being stranded, surrounded by nobody, alone to let her thoughts fester and morph into the worst-case scenario. Each manifested thought was worse than the one before.

Emily had heard the news during her layover in Dallas as soon as Aria had gotten it. The poor black-haired pixie had called Emily in a deep state of despair, hardly able to deliver the report through her blubbering tears. Once Emily had deciphered the words, her heart ceased to beat. Her blood froze, and it felt like it was running like mire, sluggishly through her veins.

Panic was her first feeling. Extreme panic. It overtook her like a sea, drowning out any other thoughts going through her mind.

She promised Aria that she would try and get out to Rosewood as soon as possible. Her overnight flight for the holidays had been the cheapest obtainable option for her when she had booked the vacation months ago, but she internally kicked herself for not springing for the available, yet more expensive, tickets for the flight during the previous day.

She checked with every gate agent in the entire terminal. Each of them gave her the same blunt answer: no, there was no earlier flight. You'll just have to wait Ms. Fields.

What for what?

For the worst to blow over?

For the storm to pass?

For her life to fall apart?

No. Emily was a patient girl. She always had been. But she needed to be there. Right then. Not later, when she was running into the hospital lobby after everyone else had been there. Not after everyone had already talked and consoled each other. Right then. She needed to be with her friends, who were fearing and grieving as much as she was. She needed to wrap her arms around them and tell them that everything was going to be all right, while the repeated the exact same speech to her.

It's what friends do. They help each other. They provide words of comfort in times of need.

But, alas, Emily stood alone. She was situated in front of the glass wall of her terminal, where the gate would be accepting her plane in a good two or three hours. She stared out the wall-length window, at the pale glow of the moon and closed her eyes. She prayed, long and hard. She prayed for the fear to stop. She prayed for optimism to come along.

She prayed for absolution. In something. Anything.

And in that luminous radiance that the moon gave, casting a white shadow along the empty, eerie terminal, Emily felt the tiniest shred of relief.

She knew that no matter how far she was, or how long it would take her to get there, she and all her friends in Rosewood were gazing up at the same lonely moon.

And Emily began to hope.

* * *

><p>Toby thought he had been through more change than any human ever ought to. Whether it was good or bad, small or big, drastic or humble, Toby had seen it all. Hadn't he?<p>

He'd lost his mom, seen his father get remarried, lived under the powerful rule of his stepsister, and fallen for a girl that once wanted him dead.

He was a master at adapting to change. He was a chameleon, equipped with the ability to accept a new situation.

Right?

But during that fateful night when he returned home to his apartment from the dinner party, shrugged off his suit jacket and tossed his keys in the little dish by the door Spencer had bought for him, he experienced a kind of change that hit him in a way that nothing else had.

That feeling of uncertainty. That cold sting of fear.

The whole time it played out, the thought never really sunk in enough for him to accept it. Not as he picked up his cell phone, seeing Hanna's smiling face pop up on the caller ID. Not as he answered the call, raised the phone to his ear. Not as Hanna's shaky, gasping voice, heavy with a hangover, began to pour out the news. Not as his mind shut down, and everything around him was echoing, like he was under water. Not as the phone slipped from his cold, frozen fingers and he made a dash for the door, grabbing his keys on the way out. Not as he drove blindly through the dark streets of Rosewood, the streetlights whizzing by like lightening bugs. Not as he burst through the double doors of the lobby of the Rosewood Community Hospital, his heartbeat deafening him to any other sound. None of it truly sunk in. He wouldn't let it. He had to stop it from happening. If he didn't accept it then…it wouldn't happen, right?

He vaguely saw Aria out of the corner of his eye as she rose from her chair in the waiting room. His eyes flickered back and forth, and as he took a step towards the hallway – where Spencer would undoubtedly be, confined to a hospital bed as countless doctors worked over her – Aria stepped in front of him.

"Toby…hey, hey, Toby, stop!" Aria said, and her voice sounded hallow, a million miles away. He didn't even look at her but instead absently stepped around her, heading for the hallway again. In his peripheral vision, he spotted a very worrisome Ezra sitting beside an equally worried and half-druken Hanna next to Aria's now vacant seat. Jason occupied the fourth seat, and Bree the fifth. Jason had his arm around Bree, who was shaking a little, and looking like she was having trouble breathing.

Aria stepped in front of him once more, grabbing his arms. "You can't go back there. The nurses told us to stay here. She's undergoing some serious x-rays. She can't have visitors until they finish with their procedures – not even family."

Toby's gaze fell on Aria's face, and it was like he was hearing her for the first time. "No, I…" He swallowed hard, shaking his head. "I need to get back there." He breathed, his voice barely audible. But as he made a move for the hall again, Aria grasped the back of his shirt, "Toby!"

He whirled around, facing her fully. "What happened to her?" He demanded. Aria bit her lip and looked away. "What happened?" He repeated, his voice barely a desperate whisper.

"She…she was on her way over to Ezra and my apartment when she got sidetracked and…I don't know exactly how but she ended up going through an alleyway. A gang cornered her and…" Aria's chin wobbled and she covered her face with her hands. When she spoke again, her voice was watery with tears. "And I don't know what's going to happen to her." She said, her voice breaking on the last word.

Toby shook his head, closing his eyes tight. No, no. That couldn't have happened. Spencer was…Spencer was _smarter_ than that. She was stronger than that. The whole time he had known her, she'd always been strong and sure. This kind of stuff happened to stupid, brainless girls in horror movies. This didn't happen to people like Spencer.

In a blind haze, he turned back and began running headlong down the hallway. Aria reached for him, trying to grab the back of his shirt again, but he slipped out of her grasp. "Toby!" She shouted after him, but he was too far gone. Thankfully, the nurse behind the counter had left for a moment to assist a doctor, so he was easily able to hurry up and down the halls, sprinting up the stairs, checking the names on the front of each door.

_Hastings, Hastings, Hastings…_ He thought as his eyes sputtered back and forth, reading each label. Finally, at the end of the hall on the second floor, he found it. Room 225, _Spencer J. Hastings._

Just as he was reaching for the doorknob, intending to yank the door open in his desperate fog, it opened, and Wren exited, colliding with him.

Bewildered, Wren stepped back. "Toby?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows. He lowered his voice, "Wait, what are you doing up here? How did you get past the lobby?"

Breathing hard, Toby shook his head. "I need to see her, Wren."

Wren looked away, "She can't have visitors until we finish all of our analysis and tests, Toby."

"No, you're not hearing me." Toby said seriously. "I need to see her, _now."_

Wren shook his head. "Toby, I can't let you in there. I'm sorry."

"Is she okay?" He whispered desperately.

"She's stable. She lost a lot of blood in the alleyway. I don't quite know how it happened, but she has a cut on her shoulder, and she broke a few ribs. But, luckily, nothing punctured any of her vital organs. It appears that she hit her head hard on something – presumably the ground – and we're checking to see if any permanent brain damage accompanied the blow."

The thought of it made Toby's head fuzzy, and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. "Wren. Please." He said. "I just need to see her. I'll sit in the corner, I won't disrupt anything, I promise. I just…I need to see that she's breathing. I need to know that she's okay."

Wren furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head once more, "Toby – "

"Please. You don't understand." He said. He pointed at the hospital door – the one that separated him from her – and tried to even out his breathing, "That's my life in that room right there. She means…everything to me. Come on, Wren. You know that feeling, right? Haven't you ever been in love before?"

Wren looked away, torn. "I…"

"Please."

This time, when Wren looked up at Toby, he saw it: The eyes of a desperate man. The raw, hard glance of someone who was seconds away from crumbling to dust. He'd seen it before. Hell, he'd felt it before. Countless times. The bitter fear, the cold uncertainty…

He took a breath and let it out slowly, his gaze dropping to the clipboard in his hands and then back to Toby. "Alright. " He said finally. "I'll tell the other doctors to let you in. But you can't disrupt any of the progress."

Toby let out a sigh of relief. "I won't." He replied as Wren reached for the door. "Thank you."

Wren nodded and pushed the door open and stepped to the side to let Toby in.

* * *

><p><em>The lobby was cold. And it smelled like latex and cough medicine.<em> Hanna observed as she sat frigidly in her seat beside Aria and Ezra, the three of them nearly crushed by the silence condensing the room. Jason had taken Bree home to get at least a little bit of sleep before her final the next day, and Ezra was holding Aria tight in his arms, lightly stroking her back as she cried softly into his shoulder. He pressed a kiss into her hair and murmured words of reassurance.

But Hanna…Hanna was silent. She didn't cry. She didn't move. She hardly even breathed. Since her previous meltdown in her apartment not an hour before, she was strangely…unresponsive. Cold. Distant. Still.

Trapped within the inner mechanisms of her self-destructive mind.

The guilt ate away at her like moths, slowly nibbling away at her as if she were last year's old wool sweater. Slowly unraveling her, creating growing holes and breaking down her shield.

But she held it together. She had to, didn't she?

She owed it to Spencer to stay strong.

Hanna remembered the time in her senior year of high school, when her mom was nearly caught for having an affair with Detective Wilden two years previous to save Hanna's ass from getting arrested. She remembered how Spencer had taken her hand, looked her in the eye and shook her head.

"_Hanna." _She had said, _"I know that you're scared. Okay? It's scary. Uncertainty is scary. But you have to be strong. For your mom. She needs you to be strong right now."_

Now, Hanna smiled slightly – a bittersweet smile, amid the chaos – and sighed. _That's what I'm doing, Spencer. _She thought. _I'm being strong for you. I'm scared. I'm worried. But I have to be strong. You would want me to be._

She looked over at Aria and Ezra and then back at her hands, folded in her lap.

_And I'm so, so sorry._

The sound of the lobby door opening made Hanna look up, and a panicked Veronica and Peter Hastings entered, frantically looking around the room, as if Spencer would suddenly emerge out of thin air.

Aria sat up, wiping the tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, smearing mascara across her temple. "Let's go talk to Mr. and Mrs. Hastings." She told Ezra thickly, and she sniffled hard as she got to her feet. Ezra followed suit, and the two approached the anxious Hastings parents. Aria began to explain what had happened, her voice breaking a few times as she did. Ezra put an arm around her.

Hanna's eyes surveyed the room absentmindedly, and her gaze fell upon none other than Will Lovat, who sat in the secluded corner of the waiting room silently. How had she not noticed him before? Had he been there the whole time?

"Will?" Hanna furrowed her eyebrows and stood up, her coat held tight in her arms. Will's gaze flickered up to her, and he watched as she crossed the room, standing in front of him. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm uh…here for Spencer…" Will replied, confused. He arched an eyebrow, "Isn't that why you're here…?"

"Well, yeah, but I didn't think anyone besides friends and family had heard about the incident yet…I mean, it's so late…" Suddenly, a thought hit her like a ton of bricks, "Wait…are you the one that found her?"

Will looked down at his lap, then back up at her. He nodded. "Yeah. Yeah I did." He replied solemnly, as if the very memory gave him chills.

Of course, it ought to, seeing that he had been the one to find her body, unconscious and beaten up and bleeding. Hanna shuddered at the mental image she got.

"What…what happened?" She asked carefully.

Will sighed and patted the seat beside him, indicating for her to sit down. She did, and he began to explain. "I was coming home from Radley tonight. I had been working late and decided to take the faster way home. So, I cut through Windsor road and went down the street where Hollis Bar and Grill is. I saw Spencer's car parked and then I saw her going down into an alleyway. I didn't want to scare her – make it look like I was stalking her or anything, but I wanted to make sure that she was all right. You can't be too careful, you know? The kind of filth that roams this town at night…" He shook his head, "It's their witching hour. So I stayed there for a few minutes, but then I heard someone's muffled scream and just…reacted. I _knew_ that something bad was happening and I drove my car up to the alleyway. When I was able to get a good view of the scene, I saw that there were four big guys…probably drunk and all in black coats. They had Spencer pinned against the wall by the front of her shirt…it looked like she was choking. When the guys saw my car, the freaked out and took off, letting go of Spencer. She…fell to the ground and by the time I got out of my car and got to her…she was out cold." Will shuddered, "I think the worst part was the blood. It was all over…" Hanna watched as he looked down at his hands, as if he could still feel Spencer's blood all over his palms. The thought made her feel sick. "When I picked her up and carried her back to my car…I just laid her down in the backseat and drove her straight here. And I've been here ever since."

Hanna shook her head in awe. "You…you saved her?"

Will shrugged, cocking his head to the side.

Hanna let out a soft breath. "Thank you." She told him, her voice a low whisper.

Will nodded and then he looked up at the clock that hung on the wall behind the front desk. Hanna looked at the clock too, and she sighed.

Time. It was an odd thing. Sometimes, you look back at the years and wonder why time went ahead and flew by so fast. You wonder how so many years could feel like just a few minutes. Other times, just a few minutes can feel like long, still, lifeless years. Decades. Centuries.

_Monster._ Hanna thought. _That's what I am._

If she hadn't let what happened with Caleb eat away at her so harshly…she wouldn't have felt the need to turn to alcohol so often. She wouldn't have been at Hollis Bar and Grill and neither would Spencer. If she hadn't been so weak, Spencer would be warm in her bed, the worst fear on her mind being her final the following day. Not lying cold on a hospital bed, as doctors ran countless x-rays to make sure that her brain would still function the way it was supposed to. The people Spencer loved wouldn't be crowed around the otherwise empty lobby of Rosewood Community Hospital, awfulizing about the worst-case scenario. They wouldn't all be terrified out of their minds.

And Hanna wouldn't be feeling like this.

Putting a hand over her mouth, Hanna let out a choked sob. She closed her eyes tight and bowed her head, her shoulders shaking with her strangled cries. Will put a reassuring arm around her and pulled her to his side. He laid a hand on the back of her head and stroked her hair softly as they both waited for the worst of the tears to stop.

**yay! i got around to updating! tell you what - if i get at least 10 reviews on this chapter, i'll update by tuesday. thanks so much for all of the wonderful feedback! i love you guys! :)**

**-AJ**


	23. The Angels Sang A Whiskey Lullaby

Chapter 23:

The Angels Sang A Whiskey Lullaby

Like a lovesick veteran, he waited.

While the doctors drifted in and out, each of them taking different samples or injecting new fluids, he waited.

Like a hopeful youth waiting for the return of their lover, he waited.

He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

For what, exactly?

For things to be solid? And to stop shifting over and over, not a single moment certain or guaranteed?

He didn't know.

He sat in the secluded corner of the hospital room, amid the slow, careful beeps of her heart monitor. He sat there through the night, not sleeping a wink and watching as each of their loved ones left in turn, returning home, to where some form of absolution waited. Whether it were the arms of a parent, or the gentle hand of a lover. Someone was there.

But with him…he had nothing else. After all, his rock – the lone solid piece of his life, the tiny fragment of sureness – was right there in the bed in front of him, unmoving and worked over like a science experiment.

He waited.

Every now and again, a doctor would update him on her progress.

_"We'll have to give her a blood transfusion, Mr. Cavanaugh."_

_ "Mr. Cavanaugh, she's not comatose, but we'll have to give her time to rebuild all of the brain cells she lost."_

_ "Just wait a while, Mr. Cavanaugh. Don't worry; she'll wake up soon. Her progress is very good."_

But all of it sounded like gibberish to him. The glaring thing about her situation, the one piece of the puzzle that bounced around his brain, was the reason why it happened.

He should have been there.

If he hadn't gone to the dinner party…none of it would have happened. For whatever reason she was going to Aria and Ezra's, he could have gone with her. No gang bangers would have even thought about approaching her if he had been there.

The thought of the drunken men touching her like that – _beating_ her – was enough to make Toby's skin crawl. Their filthy hands pushing her into a wall, hitting her over and over while she cried out screams that no one could hear….

It was sickening. Horrific. It belonged on the page of a mystery novel, or the screen of a horror movie. Not in real life.

Two days came and went, and he stayed there. He got up every so often to wash his face in the bathroom sink. Or to walk around her bed, sit by her bedside. Hold her hand. From time to time, he would drift off into a state of sleep, but he would be immediately tortured by horrendous nightmares – an awfulized scenario of what happened in the alleyway – and he would be startled awake, and then sit, unmoving, for a few more hours.

When she was stable enough to accept visitors, Hanna arrived, closing the door behind her. She locked eyes with Toby, who was still situated in the chair in the far corner by the window, and neither of them said a word. There was an unspoken agreement between them, and Hanna sauntered over to Spencer's bedside, taking a seat on the chair there. Her eyes scanned over Spencer's unmoving face, pale and a tad bit veiny from the medication. Hanna gave a short, bittersweet smile and took her hand. Hanna looked like she hadn't gotten much sleep either, her bloodshot eyes still ringed with old black makeup and her hair raked back in a loose, messy bun.

"Who found her?" Toby spoke first.

Hanna's gaze flickered up to his face, and he raised his eyebrows. She looked back at Spencer's unmoving face. "Will Lovat." She replied simply.

"Was he just driving around and found her body?" Toby asked bluntly.

Hanna shrugged. "He was on his way home from work."

Toby nodded. "Is he here?" He asked.

"No. He went home a couple of nights ago. He called me today and said that he was going to stop by later and see her progress."

Toby checked his watch, "It's eight-thirty right now."

"He works the night shift at Radley. He gets off late."

"Are you guys friends?"

Hanna shrugged, her eyes still on Spencer's face. She bit her lip and closed her eyes tight, as if trying to hold herself together. Toby could see that she was hardly hanging onto her sanity by a thread.

"Hey, it's alright." Toby said soothingly. He got to his feet and crossed the room, putting a hand on Hanna's back, "She'll be okay."

Hanna shook her head. "No." She said thickly, "Nothing will ever be okay again."

"Hanna, what's wrong?"

"I'm the reason she's here, Toby." Hanna said, sniffling slightly, "I'm the reason why she went through that alleyway to find her keys. If I hadn't been so damn _drunk…"_

"Shh, shh…" Toby replied softly, rubbing her back in slow circles. "It's okay, Hanna."

"No it isn't!" Hanna wiped her eyes with the inside of her wrist. "It's all my fault."

"It isn't your fault."

"Yes, it is."

"You didn't will this to happen. You didn't make her be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's no one here's fault."

"It doesn't stop me from being guilty."

"Yeah, well, I have a little bit of that guilt myself." Toby replied grimly, setting his jaw. "I keep playing it over and over in my mind. If I hadn't gone to that dinner party…I would've been there with her. She wouldn't have been alone, and she wouldn't have gotten hurt."

"That's silly to think that way, Toby." Hanna shook her head, looking up at him. "You didn't know it was going to happen."

"See? It sounds silly when you hear someone else say it."

"But when it's your own guilt…it makes so much sense…" Hanna shook her head. She wrapped her arms around herself in an effort to keep herself together. "Will she be okay?"

Toby nodded. "Yes. The doctors say she's in a state of rehabilitation. She's recovering from the blood loss and rebuilding the cells she lost. She'll be fine. There's no permanent brain damage; just a few cuts and bruises."

Hanna nodded. "Have you gotten any sleep at all?"

"Not really."

"Me neither." Hanna said, taking a deep breath. "I keep replying it over and over in my mind."

"Yeah. And no matter how hard I try…I just can't erase the tape." Toby shook his head. "Go home, Hanna. Get some rest. Go back home to your mother's if it makes you feel safer. You don't deserve to beat yourself up over this."

Hanna nodded. "Okay." She replied. "I'll try. Call me if there's any news."

"Will do."

And with that, Hanna turned on her heel and began to slowly amble towards the door, murmuring a soft hymn under her breath.

_And where are the clowns?_

_There ought to be clowns._

_Well, maybe next year…_

* * *

><p><em>"O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name. Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, And I'll no longer be a Capulet." <em>Toby read softly, his voice quiet. After Aria had called and asked if he wanted her to bring him anything, he had requested a new set of clothes and his old, battered copy of Shakespeare's finest romance play. Now, he read it aloud to Spencer, like he had done so many times before, even if she couldn't hear him.

He smiled softly, a little bittersweetly, and peered over at her, her stoic, unmoving face, her chest rising and falling with each breath she took…

"I know that's you're favorite part." He told her, dog-earring the page and setting on her side table. He turned back over to her, their silhouettes barely lit by the glow of the bedside lamp. "You can practically recite in your sleep."

No pun intended.

"You know, you always call me Romeo, but…it's times like these where I don't feel like I'm living up to his image very well." Toby sighed. He leaned his elbows on the side of the bed. "Romeo may have been overly impulsive but…at least he knew how to trust his heart." He shook his head. "I should have proposed to you a long time ago. Heck, I would have done it the day I kissed you at the motel, if you asked me to." He snorted, shaking his head again. "But I didn't. And still haven't. I guess I was just waiting for the right time but…God, I wish I would have done it sooner. I should have…I don't know, seized the day and done it the moment it felt right. Then I wouldn't just be known as the desperate, stalker boyfriend who hasn't left this room in three days. No, I'd be the faithful husband – or at least fiancée – that never moved from his love's bedside."

He looked back at her, as if he half-expected her to reply. He sighed.

"I miss your laugh. Who would have thought after only three days of not hearing it, I'd miss it so much…?" He reached out and stroked the back of his fingers along her cheek. "I guess I really am going through 'Spencer Withdrawal Syndrome.'" He chuckled a bit bitterly.

He leaned in and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "I'll be here when you wake up, okay?" He breathed against her skin, "I promise, I'll be right here."

* * *

><p>A soft tapping on Toby's shoulder woke him. He was passed out with his face against his crossed forearms over the edge of Spencer's hospital bed. He had forgotten what time it was when he finally caught some sleep. Will had floated in and out at about ten, but he slowly lost track of time after that. Now, as a subtle, gentle tapping patted his shoulder, he raised his head and blinked a few times, rubbing his eyes with his fists to cure his blurry vision.<p>

"Hmm…Toby?" A voice said, and he opened his eyes.

There she was, looking back at him like she had done countless times before, with the same focused look in her eye – if a bit drowsy – and a lazy smile playing on her lips. For a moment, he wondered if it was a dream, but as she touched the side of his face with her bandaged hand, he knew it was real.

"Hey." He said softly. As much as he wanted to yank her from the hospital bed into his arms and hold her tight and never let go…he didn't want to scare her. He kept his movements slow and easy, careful. "How're you doing?"

"Good." Spencer replied softly. The sound of her voice was so good it made him close his eyes, drinking in the sound of it. "My head hurts like a bitch, though."

Toby chuckled. "Well, it should. You got fourteen stitches."

"Really? Damn." Spencer raised a hesitant hand to the back of her head. "How long…how long have I been out Toby?"

"Just three days. Why?"

"Oh, shit. Did I miss my final?!" Spencer sat half-way up sharply, but then her face contorted in pain, and Toby reached out to ease her back down into the pillows.

"Easy, easy…" He soothed her. "It's okay. Hanna called your professor; he said you could take it at a later date."

Spencer sighed and nodded. "Okay." She looked over at him, "Toby, who found me in the alleyway?"

"Will Lovat." Toby replied.

She furrowed her eyebrows, but her face slowly showcased understanding. "Ah. Okay." She said simply, nodding.

"Spencer?" Toby asked gently.

"Hm?"

"Why…do you know why those men in the alley approached you?"

Spencer shrugged. "They thought I was Jenna." She replied, her eyes staring straight at the ceiling.

"They thought – They thought you were _Jenna_? Wha – why?" Toby asked, knitting his eyebrows.

Spencer shrugged. "I was wearing her coat. And they were drunk enough to think I was Jenna."

"But…what could Jenna have done to agitate four dangerous men?"

"That's what I'm trying the figure out."

Toby shook his head. Spencer's head turned to look at him, and she smiled softly, gazing into his eyes.

"What?" Toby asked, a small smile playing on his lips.

Spencer shrugged. "I was just thinking about how good it feels. To wake up looking at your face after this whole mess."

Toby smiled softly and reached out to caress her cheek. "I was so worried about you."

Spencer nodded. "Yeah, tell me about it." She replied, snorting, "I've been out cold for three days. It was like there was a barrier separating my brain from the outside world. After I while, I got so fed up with trying to wake up, I just started doing complex math problems in my head."

Toby laughed and reached down to squeeze her hand. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Romeo. Always will."

* * *

><p>"So, you remember all of it, right?" Aria asked cautiously. She was holding her cup of coffee so tight her hands were shaking.<p>

Emily, newly arrived from CalPoly, reached out and steadied her hands.

Spencer nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, the last thing I remember is falling on the ground and a car coming up to save me and…after that everything is black, but I remember everything before that. But believe me…I'd rather not. It was…pretty bad. And gruesome."

Hanna nodded. "I'm so sorry, Spence."

"Hanna, you've said that already; actually, three times since you entered the room. It isn't you fault."

It was the next morning and Toby had called the three girls to come in and visit Spencer, now that she was awake and her bodily functions were back on track. Now, Spencer had sent Toby out to get himself breakfast in the hospital cafeteria, leaving the four girls to chat alone.

Spencer was propped up in a sitting position upon a mountain of pillows, her hair pulled back into a ponytail to showcase the lovely stitches zig-zagging along her temple, over her ear, and along her hairline behind her head. She could see Hanna's gaze wander to them every so often, and the poor, unstable blonde would flinch involuntarily.

"So…why were you on your way over to my place to begin with?" Aria inquired. She sat on the left side of Spencer's bed, while the other two perched on the right.

"Well, I was studying for my final while Toby was at the dinner party and I saw the watch I bought Toby on my dresser and – " Suddenly, a thought jarred her and her blood ran cold. Her eyes went wide. Uh oh. Oh no.

"Spence, what is it?" Emily knit her eyebrows as she and the other two girls leaned towards her.

"Aria, where's the jacket I wore the night they found me?" Spencer asked stonely, her heartbeat still pounding in her swollen temples.

"Uhm, over on that chair, why? They returned your clothes to your room the morning after you were brought here."

"Could you get me it, please?" She asked urgently.

"Are you cold? We can get you another blanket – " Aria asked, not quite catching on.

Spencer shook her head vigorously, "No, no, no, just get me my jacket, please." She repeated.

Confused but obedient, Aria got to her feet and walked over to the set of table and chairs in the far corner, grabbing Jenna's black winter coat off of the back of one of the chairs. She brought it over to the bed and handed it to Spencer.

Immediately, Spencer grabbed at it and shoved her hand deep into the front pocket, feeling around for anything solid. Nope. She dug her hand in the opposite pocket. Nothing in that one either.

No.

No, no, no.

How could she have not realized it?

Oh, no.

She let out a gasping breath and let the jacket fall into her lap.

"What is it, Spence?" Hanna asked, looking worried.

"What's wrong?" Emily joined in.

Spencer merely shook her head slowly. "The gang." She replied frigidly. "They got Toby's watch. The took my proposal gift."

**thank you all sooo much for the abundance of reviews and feedback! i'm glad that the majority of you have taken a liking to Will - he'll be featured in the upcoming chapters. because you all are so amazing, i decided to find time to update tonight rather than tomorrow.**

**so, if i get another ten reviews on this chapter, i'll update again by thursday at the latest. does that sound alright? ;)**

**you guys are all incredible. really, amazing. i love you all more than you know.**

**let me know what you thought of this chapter - i love all of your comments!**

**-AJ**


	24. Author's Note

**hello all,**

**a message from the author:**

**so i was really debating whether or not i would finish this story, due to the happenings of the heartbreaking summer finale of pll.**

**it hurt. a lot.**

**but after a few days of recouping, i realized something: that i owed to myself and all of you to keep this story going. keep Spoby alive. i have recieved a lot of feedback from my faithful readers urging me to continue, and i realized that it was something i wanted to do.**

**and you know, i still have a lot of hope for the real spoby. i posted a few reasons on my tumblr of why i still believe in spoby's love, if you follow me there. ;)**

**and you know, i really enjoy writing this. the fanfiction world is a wonderful place to escape to. **

**and im so sorry that i didnt upload on thursday like i promised; i just couldnt bring myself to write it that early.**

**but im better now. and more hopeful.**

**spoby is real. and we all know it ;)**

**oh and btw, my spobette sisters and i have come up with a mission plan to prove to the writers just how much spoby means to us. if you would like to participate (WHICH WE WOULD SO VERY MUCH LOVVVEEE) go to fortheluvofspoby at and find out how to go thru the missions. we need as much help as we can get. we need to show the writers that spoby is more than just a fictional couple.**

**BUT DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOTTT, TWEET OR TELL THE WRITERS ABOUT IT. ITS SUPPOSED TO BE A SURPRISE. SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT HINT TO THEM ABOUT IT. WE WANT IT TO BE AS SHOCKING FOR THEM AS THE BETRAYAL WAS FOR US.**

**And we are not in any way trying to be spiteful about this. we just want to get our point across.**

**we would love your participation! ;)**

**thanks so much for all the love and support! **

**Stay Strong for Spoby,**

**AJ**


	25. Little Wonders

Chapter 24:

Little Wonders

"Jingle bells, jingle bells…" Aria crooned, rocking her little hips back and forth as she balanced atop a high ladder barefoot, trying to hang a large purple globe on a branch of the Christmas tree.

"Jingle all the way…" Emily finished, fishing a long string of lights out of one of the plastic blue bins that littered the floor of Toby's apartment.

Standing on one of the kitchen chairs, Spencer asked, "Hey, hand me that box, would you, Em?" Spencer waved her hand towards Emily, interrupting the chorus of singing for a moment. "Oh, never mind, I'll get it." She stooped down from her chair, grasping onto the back of it to keep her balance as she reached towards another box of ornaments.

"Hey, careful, Spence!" At once, Hanna was at her side, her arms tight around her waist.

"Hanna, I'm _fine_." Spencer insisted for what felt like the trillionth time that day. Every time Spencer tried to lift up something heavier than a pencil or stooped lower than her knees, Hanna was behind her, preventing her from tumbling to "untimely death" or something.

"You could get lightheaded at any moment!" Hanna protested as Spencer pried her arms back from around her.

"It's been five days, Han! I'm alright!"

Emily snickered and shook her head. "Give up, Spence. Han's going to be playing nurse until you're twenty-five."

"Plus, you don't even have your stitches out yet!" Hanna exclaimed crossing her arms.

"Yeah, but they come out Thursday. Just in time for Christmas." Spencer replied as she jumped down from the chair and fished a bundle of tinsel out of the nearest bin. "So deck the freaking halls and get going on the decorating!"

"It's so romantic of you to decorate Toby's place for him." Aria commented, trying to stretch her itty-bitty frame up to one of the top braches of the tree.

"Well, with him working so much to get a holiday bonus, I thought it would be a good idea. Unless we want to be hanging gym socks by the fire place like last year…" Spencer answered.

Emily laughed. "Yeah, that was pretty pathetic…"

"Where _is_ Toby anyway?" Hanna asked. She plopped down on Toby's couch and took a sip of the large mug of apple cider she had poured herself. "I thought he had the day off."

"He does." Spencer helped Emily weave the string of lights in and out of the pine branches. "But I sent him out to buy stocking stuffers for Taylor, Melissa, and Wren."

"Wow, I'm shocked that he let you out of his sight." Aria told her. "He's been stuck to you like glue since you get home a few days ago."

"Well, can you blame him? Emily asked. "I mean, his girlfriend of four years was nearly killed in a mugging by a bunch of gross drunk guys in an filthy alleyway."

"Gee, it's so beautiful the way you put it, Em…" Spencer replied sarcastically, laughing a little. But she could see Hanna flinch from her spot on the couch. In response, Spencer left the tree and plopped down on the sofa next to her.

"Well, he shouldn't worry about her. She's the Indestructible Spence!" Aria continued. Her raven's black hair was raked back into a loose bun, held with a pair of chopsticks, and she blew an escaped lock out of her eyes.

"Well, contrary to that last statement, she has a head full of stitches." Emily responded.

"Okay, can we stop talking about the accident?" Hanna asked, exasperated. "It's giving me a headache."

Spencer smiled wryly and put an arm around Hanna, squeezing her. "Alright. Let's talk about something else."

"Like the fact that you are proposing to Toby in eleven days and you have since been robbed of your engagement gift?" Aria asked bluntly, her voice absent.

Spencer clenched her eyes shut and sighed. "Yeah. Don't remind me, Aria. I'm still trying to figure that out."

"So there's no chance of going out to get a new one?" Hanna asked.

Spencer shook her head. "That watch cleaned me out. I'm out of cash for the month. My parents are cutting me another check until Christmas. And if I ask…they'll know something's up."

"Well, don't you think they'll find out sooner or later?" Emily arched her eyebrow, taking a seat on the stool she was previously standing on.

"Yeah, like the ring that'll be on your finger?" Aria joined in.

"I'm kind of waiting to tell them until it's already happened. I don't want a whole lot of people to know."

"Well, Aria already took care of that…" Hanna mumbled under her breath, and the black haired pixie shot her a narrow-eyed look.

"I'll…figure something out." Spencer shrugged. "If I have to just propose to him without a gift, well, then so be it."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right." Hanna nodded. "I mean, this is _Toby_ we're talking about. What, like he's going to look at Spencer when she asks and say 'Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, where's the gift involved in this?'"

Aria and Emily laughed and Spencer grinned. "Alright, then it's settled. I'll just have to…go for a corny proposal line to seal the deal."

"Oh, you could – !" Hanna started.

"No." Spencer cut her off, her voice flat.

"But – !"

"No, Hanna."

"Will you at least _try_ the poem?"

"No! I don't want to sound like something out of the Wiggles!"

"You won't!"

"End. Of. Discussion, Hanna."

Hanna furrowed her eyebrows and crossed her arms, sinking back into the couch with a pout. Suddenly, her cell phone buzzed and she fished it out of her pocket. Spencer watched as Hanna looked at the screen, licked her lips and then, with a low breath, let it drop into her lap. She cleared her throat and put a hand behind her neck, avoiding the eyes of the other three girls.

Immediately, Spencer exchanged glances with Emily and Aria, who both had their eyebrows knit in confusion.

"Uhm, who was that?" Emily inquired, getting to her feet and sauntering towards Hanna.

"Hmm? Uh, no one." Hanna put a fake smile that Spencer knew too well on her face and made a grab for her phone in an attempt to shove it back into her pocket before Emily could grab it.

But Spencer was too quick. She snatched the phone out of Hanna's grasp and quickly read the text on the screen.

She arched an eyebrow. "Why does Will Lovat want to know what to wear to the Christmas party Saturday?" Hanna's cheeks burned red.

"Did you _invite_ him?" Aria asked, her voice hushed as if it were some big secret, "As your _date_?"

"What happened to not being over Caleb?" Emily asked. "Are you into Will now?"

"Are you – "

"Guys, just shut up and hear me out!" Hanna flailed her arms about. "Yes, I invited Will to the party Saturday; so freaking _what? _I mean, he's a nice guy, and he's a good friend. Plus, he's the one that saved Spencer!"

"Okay, no need to freak out," Aria said, getting down from her ladder. "We're just…wondering if there's another guy in your life."

"Well, there isn't." Hanna said flatly. "Will's a friend of mine. And he's been there for me while I've been…dealing with stuff."

Spencer didn't question. She just nodded. She knew how that felt. To want to be with someone that was there for you. It's partly what drew her to Toby in the first place. She sighed and handed Hanna back her phone. "Then we'll be happy to see him there."

* * *

><p>"Alright, my beautiful, stitched up girl, what'll it be?" Toby set a pile of menus on the counter across from Spencer.<p>

"Hmmm…Linda's." Spencer replied. "I'm in the mood for Italian."

"Linda's it is." Toby nodded, pawing through the menus and locating the one for the Italian joint down the street.

"Toby?" Spencer asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Ya, Spence?" Toby answered absently, dialing the number of the restaurant on his cell phone.

"Will you go and see Jenna with me tomorrow?" She asked.

Toby stopped dialing and looked up at her. He set the phone carefully back down on the counter, along with the menus.

"Why do you want to see her?" He asked. His voice wasn't accusatory or angry; just curious.

Spencer shrugged. "I want to know why there were four drunken men in an alleyway willing to do to her what they did to me."

Toby clenched his eyes shut and shuttered at the memory – he still wasn't quite immune to the idea – and sighed. "Alright." He decided. "I'll go with you tomorrow."

"Thanks." Spencer responded with a smile. A coy grin soon replaced her thankful expression though, and she put on a mask of faux concern. "You know, actually Linda's doesn't sound too good to me anymore."

"Hm? Alright, then what does?"

"You."

Toby's eyes flickered up to hers and she raised an eyebrow, biting her lip and meeting his glance evenly.

"Spence, you're still healing…"

"Oh, hardly." Spencer snorted. "So I have a few stitches. Big whoop."

"Yeah, actually it is a 'big whoop.'" Toby replied. "You lost a whole lot of blood and were practically comatose for two days, Spence. The doctors said that you need time to heal."

"Wasn't it you that once said that love was the best medicine?"

"Yes. But sex makes for a rather unhinging and perhaps even lethal scene."

"Oh, I love it when you talk dirty, Toby…"

"Not funny, Spence."

"Lighten up!" Spencer smiled, laughing. "I'm joking! And seriously, it isn't all that fun being the girlfriend that has to beg her boyfriend to sleep with her."

"You think it's all that great being the boyfriend that has to refuse making love to their beautiful girlfriend when she's practically handing it to him on a silver platter?" Toby arched an eyebrow. "Because it's not. But I'd rather not have to explain to the doctors why you suddenly passed out from overexerting activity."

"Fine." Spencer pouted. "But I still hate you."

Toby chuckled. "That's good; hate is a powerful emotion. It means that you're regaining all of those brain cells you lost."

"Did you just call me _dumb_, Toby Cavanaugh?"

"Merely stating a physical fact, Spencer Hastings."

"Alright, now come over here and kiss me before I think of something _really_ mean to say…" She started, but Toby was already way ahead of her. He leaned across the counter and met her lips with his, gently weaving his hands into her hair. He kissed her deeply for long moments and she sighed, her head becoming dizzy from the fragrance of his breath. When he finally pulled back, he rubbed his nose back and forth against hers and she smiled.

"Okay, maybe you're right about the sex thing…" Spence giggled. "I'm a little light-headed just from this…"

"Are you alright?" Toby asked, instantly concerned.

"Yes, calm down!" Spencer laughed, exasperated. "I'm fine. I'm just kidding."

Toby's smiled returned to his face, and his eyes wandered out to the kitchen window. "Hey, look." He nodded towards it, "it's snowing."

Spencer gasped, "The first snow!" She exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "Come on!" She said, jumping down from her chair and clambering across the floor in her fuzzy socks, making her way for the door.

"Spence!" Toby called after her, a laugh in his voice, "Don't forget your shoes!"

Spencer skidded to a shaky stop, grabbing for her snow boots lying beside the closet and stuffing her feet into them, not even bothering to tie the strings.

"Come on!" She shouted back at him, yanking the door open and hurrying out into the night, dressed in only Toby's oversize t-shirt and her leggings.

Toby was at her heels, leaving the apartment and following her down the stairs, into the empty street outside the apartment building. When she reached the middle of the road, ankle deep in the falling snow, she looked up to the sky and smiled. Toby stepped behind her, wrapping her arms around her middle and chuckling low in her ear.

"The first snow of winter in Rosewood." Spencer smiled, shaking her head in awe. "It's always so beautiful. So pure…"

Toby kissed her temple. "I know. It is nice, isn't it?"

"I love that I get to see all of the first snows with you now." Spencer smiled and he squeezed her softly, burying his smile into her hair.

"And I love _you_." He murmured softly. "I can't tell you how relieved I am that you're alright. The thought of living any other way then with you is too crazy to even think about…"

Spencer sighed, "I know. I can't imagine it either."

"Let's hope we never have to."

"We _won't_." She promised.

Toby kissed the top of her head. "Merry Christmas, Spencer."

"Merry Christmas, Toby."

* * *

><p>"No you didn't." Will laughed, an amused smile upon his face.<p>

"I _did."_ Hanna confirmed, nodding her head. "True story."

"Wow. _The_ Hanna Marin shoplifted from sixteen stores in high school. I always thought you were the good girl."

"Well, there's a lot more to _The_ Hanna Marin than meets the eye…" Hanna replied, a smile playing on her lips.

"Yeah, there is." Will replied. Her gaze met his and his soft smile made her heart get a little fluttery.

She cleared her throat, breaking the eye contact. "So, it really surprises you that I did some bad stuff in high school?"

"Totally surprises me. Of course, I was never exactly in the loop. I wouldn't have known if a girl in our grade was even pregnant until the week after the baby was born."

Hanna laughed and stuffed her hands deeper in her jeans pockets. Suddenly, she felt a trickle of white wetness drop on her head and she looked up.

The first snow.

Hanna had met up with Will when he had texted her to have dinner at the Applerose Grille after she left Toby's apartment. She had agreed instantly, hoping for a chance to talk to Will about Spencer's accident. Maybe it was the detective nature that Mona had so intently engraved in her as a teen, but she was desperate to figure out the whole story.

But she had gone through a whole dinner with Will, including dessert, and was now letting him walk her home, and yet she had not felt the need to bring up the accident once.

It was just that Will was so _interesting_ to talk about. He was so worldly; passionate.

Kind.

He listened to her when she talked, and actually looked like he gave a shit about what she was saying. It was nice to have someone like that, after her bad falling out with Caleb.

Caleb.

What would he make of this?

If he saw them, somehow, walking down the street together, laughing over old high school stories, would he stop and watch? Would he be horridly jealous and angry? Hurt? Or was he already over her enough to just turn his head and walk the other way?

Did he even care about her anymore?

She didn't know.

She clenched her eyes shut for a moment, sighing as she chased the thoughts of him away and turned her attention back to Will. "So," She asked, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "Have you been into Jenna's room at Radley lately?"

"Not recently. She's requested that the volunteers only visit when it's absolutely necessary."

"Oh." Hanna nodded. _Wonder_ _why_. She thought. _What is she planning? Or hiding from…?_

"Are you cold?" Will inquired, noticing the way she ran her hands up her arms in an effort to warm herself.

"Oh, a little." Hanna shrugged.

"Here." Will shrugged off his black overcoat and promptly draped it over her shoulders. "Take this."

Hanna looked over at him, her lips parted slightly. She looked back down to her shoes, her cheeks burning red. "You…you don't have to do that."

"Do what?"

"Be nice like that."

"Why wouldn't I be? I want to."

"Because I'm not exactly the…ideal girl to be around." Hanna replied, her eyes on the sidewalk in front of her.

"How do you figure?" Will asked her.

"Well, for one, I'm pretty much a walking emotional trainwreck."

"You're talking to the guy that spend years trying to run away from Rosewood, before coming back and working with a bunch of deranged psychopaths." Will replied bluntly, which made Hanna laugh.

"But I'm serious." She replied, her voice solemn again, "I've been…kind of messed up since my falling out with…my ex." Hanna couldn't bring herself to say 'Caleb.'

"How so?"

"Will, do you even know me at all?" Hanna asked. "Have you even…been around these past few days? Have you been walking around with your eyes closed? I'm messed up, ok?! It's making me do _stupid_ things."

"Hey, I don't – " Will tried sympathetically, but Hanna cut him off.

"No, do you know how Spencer wound up in that alleyway, Will?" Hanna stopped walking and turned to fully face him. She could hear her voice rising but didn't try to lower it.

Will just looked at her, his eyes peering deep into hers in that I-can-see-right-into-you way he had.

"I was drunk. I drank too much after seeing Caleb, and Spencer had to drive me home. When she came back, the place was locked and she went around the back to try and get her keys, but the gang cornered her, and you found her almost bleeding to death on the ground. She could have died trying to help me because I wasn't careful." She said harshly.

"Hanna…"

"I'm hurting the people around me, Will. I'm broken. And I don't want to take you down with me. You're too good to go down a road like that again."

Will's eyes leveled with hers and he shook his head. "I don't see you like that, Hanna."

"Oh?" Hanna asked scornfully. "How do you see me, then?"

"You're strong, Hanna. Stronger than you know. And you're beautiful – inside and out. And I know that you're capable of doing great things." Will said, stepping closer.

Hanna's breath was shallow as she met Will's gaze. "I don't want to hurt anymore, Will." She whispered, tears rising in her eyes.

"I know." Will nodded. He cautiously rested his forehead against hers. "I remember the feeling well. It'll get better, Hanna. I promise you."

Hanna nodded and buried her head in his shoulder. His arms wrapped around her and he pet her hair, just like he had done in the lobby of the hospital.

He held her gently while she cried once more, letting everything out, in the middle of the empty road, during the first snow in Rosewood, Pennsylvania.

And just like that, Hanna began to feel whole again.

**ta-da! so do you guys like will? or are you still team haleb ;) **

**im so sorry for not updating sooner. like i explained in my author's not things have been...kind of hard lately. but i still have hope and faith for my OTP. spoby is NOT over. i know it. and thanks to Bryan Holdman's reassuring tweets, i feel much better.**

**thanks for all of the wonderful reviews, guys! if i get up to 210, i'll update by thurs (i promise this time!)**

**live. love. spoby.**

**AJ**


	26. The Many Sides of Hanna Marin

Chapter 25:

The Many Sides of Hanna Marin

"Oh. My. God." Spencer clapped her hands in glee as she beheld the shocked expression on her roommate's face as she tore open the wrapping paper. "Spencer. Jill. Hastings. Is this what I think it is?"

"It is indeed." Spencer grinned broadly and gave Bree a knowing look.

Bree looked up at her and all at once went into full fangirl-mode. She flapped her hands hysterically and got to her feet, jumping up and down, all while clutching her prize in her hands, holding it up for all to see. "Look at it close, ladies and gentleman, because as of now, Brielle Mason is the owner of the entire series of – hang onto your hats people – _Grey's_ freaking_ Anatomy_!"

Laughing, Toby, Aria, Hanna, and Emily applauded. Spencer sat back with a huge smile plastered to her face and Bree – after jumping up and down a few more times – leapt back onto the couch and buried Spencer in a bear hug.

"Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you sooooo much!" She said over and over, squeezing her roommate so hard she could barely get air.

"Aye! Easy, easy! Newly-unstitched, remember?!" She laughed and tried to disentangle herself from Bree. When Bree finally retreated and fell back onto the sofa, clutching her DVD to her chest like a teddy bear, Spencer reached over and picked up the final gift she had wrapped, handing it across the coffee table to Hardy and Vienna.

The Christmas party was set for two days later, Saturday, and as an annual tradition, the group of friends met a few days before at Toby's apartment in order to give their yearly gifts to Hardy and Vienna and Bree, who spent every Christmas at their families' houses and didn't get to attend the party.

This year, Spencer decided to treat her loyal roommate to the full series of seasons of her all-time favorite show. She knew that the gift would be a hit, and Hanna patted her shoulder in congratulations, "Wow, Spence, nice! Whoever said you can't give good gifts?"

"I don't know, Hanna, who _does_ say that?" Spencer asked, arching her eyebrow and trapping Hanna with her words. The now-panicked fashionista hastily shoved a frosted sugar cookie in her mouth and sat back in her armchair silently.

"Aw, thank you, Spencer!" Vienna smiled brightly as she opened the decorative wrapping paper, revealing a scrapbook full of pictures of Hardy and her over the years. "That's so sweet!"

"I thought it would be a nice gift – at least before the wedding." Spencer winked and took another sip of her eggnog. In the seat next to her, Toby reached out and readjusted the crooked Santa hat that Aria had so merrily plopped on her head upon arriving.

Now, the little raven-haired fairy – dressed in her own festive hat and a rather abstract pair of ornament-print pants – clapped her hands and bounced up and down in her seat, "That's so sweet, Spence! You're so romantic!"

"Well, I try." Spencer batted her hand at her as if to sat 'eh, it's nothing.' She grinned over at Toby, "I learned from the best."

Toby smiled back and leaned over to press a quick kiss to her lips and she took his hand in hers.

"This has been great, guys." Emily said from beside Bree, who was still marveling and "oohing" and "aahhing" over her new DVD. "Really, it was so much fun. And dinner was great Ezra – who knew you could cook?"

"Well, certainly not me." Aria replied, arching an accusatory eyebrow at her fiancée, "Where was all this Betty Crocker stuff when I was slaving over hot dinners for, oh, I don't know, the past five years?!"

"It was building up and saving itself for this very day." Ezra replied evenly, taking a drink of his hot chocolate.

Aria narrowed her eyes and stuck out her bottom lip, continuing to stare him down.

"So, anyway, thanks for having this again, Spencer. And Toby." Vienna smiled warmly and tucked the scrapbook away in her beaded purse.

"Our pleasure. We love having you guys. I hope all three of you have a great time at your families' house." Toby replied.

"I can't believe the year's nearly over. It went by like that!" Aria said, snapping her finger for effect.

"I know. It's almost Christmas and then New Years." Emily said.

"Oh yeah, New Years…that'll be a fun holiday…" Hanna said coyly, a huge smile on her face. She winked at Spencer and Spencer shot her a warning look in response. Hanna bit her thumb and bowed her head to hide her grin.

"Anyway." Spencer cleared her throat, readjusting her Santa hat, "Merry Christmas to all!" She proclaimed, holding her glass of eggnog in the air.

"And may the odds be ever in your favor!" Aria joined in.

"Uhm, wrong movie, Aria…" Emily said.

"Oops." Aria giggled, but nevertheless joined the rest of the group in raising their glasses and tapping them against one another. "And to all a good night!"

"Merry Christmas!" The friends all chorused, and chugged back a gulp of the drink in their hands.

In the midst of all of their cheering, Bree's voice shouted, "Whoa, and there's deleted scenes too?!"

* * *

><p>It was dark by the time Hanna got back to her apartment. The heavy blanket of snow was well set over Rosewood, covering the town in a frosty sheet of white. Normally, Hanna found it beautiful, but when she was trying to kick it off of her $500 Chloe boots, she looked down on it like it was a bullying kid that was just set on ruining her day.<p>

"Ugh!" She mumbled under her breath as she stood in the outdoor stairwell of her apartment, outside her door, and tried to de-snow her shoes enough so that they wouldn't be wrecked forever. "Dammit!" She cursed softly.

"Hey, keep it PG, I heard that you have some young neighbors." A familiar, jocular voice rang out from somewhere down the staircase, and Hanna nearly jumped a foot in the air.

"Will?" She asked into the night, furrowing her eyebrows. Her breath nearly froze in front of her. "What are you doing here? Where are you?"

Suddenly, he appeared at the top of the stairs, a few feet in front of her. "I wanted to come by and say goodbye."

"Goodbye?" Hanna asked, confused, "Are you…leaving?" Her stomach clenched with an overwhelming fear, and she mentally kicked herself for feeling in such a way.

"Well, just for a week. I'm going to my folks' house for Christmas. They don't like being alone for the holidays. Not since Gracie…" He trailed off and shrugged.

Hanna nodded, relieved. "Oh, oh yeah." She cleared her throat, "Are you leaving now?"

"Yeah, yeah, late flight. Always cheaper." He shrugged again. Hanna couldn't help notice how…_cute_ he looked in a beanie. A navy beanie, at that. It brought out the color in his eyes.

The only person she ever thought could look good in a beanie was Caleb.

Caleb in his gray beanie.

If she looked hard enough, she bet that she could unearth one from somewhere along her apartment, where it had surely been thrown across the room in a haste as the two of them had ambled into the bedroom and collapsed on her bed…

Hanna closed her eyes tight and chased away the erotic memory. She wasn't willing to go down that road again.

"End of the year, huh?" Hanna started lamely, searching for a topic of discussion to fill the awkward silence.

"Yeah. Guess I won't see you until the new year." Will nodded. "Which is why I wanted to give you this." Will slipped his gloved hand out of his pocket, revealing a little silver box, tied with a light blue ribbon. He held it out to her and she carefully took it between her numb, freezing fingers. "Merry Christmas."

"You didn't have to get me anything." She said quietly, her eyes locked on the package in her hands.

"Nah, I wanted to." Will brushed it off like it was nothing, "Go ahead, open it."

Hanna hesitantly obeyed, immediately feeling guilty.

But for what, exactly?

Because she hadn't been courteous enough to buy him something as well?

Or because she hadn't received a gift from anyone but a friend since her breakup?

She swallowed the thought and undid the little ribbon, tucking it into her coat pocket and lifting the top off of the box.

Nestled within a pillow of red velvet was an oval-shaped silver locket with a large elegant _H_ scripted on the face. Around the circumference, a row of tiny diamonds was nestled into the surface, and Hanna could nearly see the reflection of her own blue eyes in the exterior.

"I saw that in the window of the jewelers down the street and thought…it was just so you." Will said, and Hanna's eyes flickered up to see the huge smile on his face.

"Will…I…" She shook her head, trying to find the words. "It's beautiful, but…it's too much, you can't possibly spend this much on me." She thrust out the box towards him.

Will shook his head. "No, no, I want you to have it. That's why I bought it." He said, taking the box from her and lifting the locket out of it by the chain. He tucked the box away in his pocket. "I wanted to thank you for being so welcoming to me when I moved back. It's so easy to look at someone like me and just think of me as that one guy whose sister killed herself that one summer." He continued, walking towards her and undoing the clasp. Hanna stood rooted to the spot, peering up at him with her lips parted. "But you saw me for who I was. You talked to me and listened to me and you were just…a good friend to me. So, I wanted to thank you." He reached his arms around her neck, fastening the catch and letting the locket hang from her neck. He ran his fingers down along the chain to where it lay below her collarbone, before letting his hands drop back by his sides. Hanna could feel his cool breath on her face. "And now, when you wear it, right over your heart, it'll remind you that you have one – a heart. And that you are whole. And not broken.

"See, the funny thing about lockets is that they're beautiful on the outside, but there's a mystery inside. And once you open it, you see what's inside…and you see that there's so much more than just the face of it." He smiled, letting his fingertip tap the front of the locket. "There's no one side to it. Just like there's no one side to Hanna Marin." He grinned down at her softly. "She can be anything she wants to be. She's strong. And smart. And beautiful. Inside and out. Just like the locket."

Hanna was speechless. It was all so much, so much…_kindness_ and _honesty_ so fast. Hanna had been through enough pain in her life to learn not to trust anyone at face value, and that people were naturally liars and cruel until proven benevolent.

But Will…he was different. He connected with her in a way no one else had. They didn't have any pretences, any conditions. They just _were_.

"Hanna." Will smiled softly. "Now would be the time to say something."

Before she could think of a reason not to, Hanna rose onto her tiptoes and pressed her lips to Will's, letting her hands rest on the side of his face. After a moment, Will's hands came to rest on the small of her back, drawing her in to his warmth in the cold night air. She sighed and breathed him in, the mint of his breath, the feel of his stubble beneath her numb fingertips…

A fresh sprinkle of snow began to fall from the black sky, but they continued to kiss out on the stairwell, in front of her apartment, in the dark of night.

The kiss was soft, sweet, untouched by any urgency or desperation. It was so calm, so comforting, but yet it arose something within her – something she hadn't felt in a long whole.

The start of something new. Something beautiful.

And the many phases of Hanna Marin met at the surface and joined Will Lovat, on the other side of the horizon, where things were just a little bit brighter.

* * *

><p>"I'm going out." Spencer called down the hall, tossing her jacket over her arm.<p>

"What? Now?" Toby called back from the bathroom. He stumbled out into the hallway, dressed in a pair of sweats and a black t-shirt. His face was swathed in a blanket of shaving cream, and one of his razors was pinched between his fingers.

"Oh, good, you're shaving. Not so sure how much of the caveman look I could take…"

"Hey, don't pretend you don't find it sexy." Toby teased, approaching her and loosely wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I don't have to pretend. I think it looks unkempt."

"If sexy is unkempt…"

"No, unkempt as in the homeless-guy-down-the-street-living-in-a-Sears-television-box-and-eating-soup-out-of-a-violin-unkempt." Spencer replied, batting at his arm, "Now get off me, of you're going to get shaving cream in my hair again."

Toby chuckled and retreated, letting his arms drop to his sides. "Anyway, where're you going?"

"Out. I have to get some dark chocolate for the part on Saturday." Spencer lied.

"Spence, it's 11:30 at night."

"So?"

"So, the last time you had this late of a chocolate run, it was when you were, how did you so lovingly put it? Oh yeah – 'Knee deep in the hellish 'gift' Mother Nature cursed on you every month and if you didn't shove a bar of Hershey's down your throat within the next hour, you would spontaneously combust.'"

"I most certainly did not say that."

"Yes you did. And then you called me while I was at the store and told me to pick up _Titanic, The Lake House, _and_ A Walk to Remember_. Which you then made me watch until three in the morning."

"Okay, so maybe I get desperate for sweets and corny movies when it's 'that time of the month!'" Spencer replied, exasperated. "At least I don't have a special lucky jersey that I wear whenever the Steelers play and – oh yeah _never wash it_ because it'll '_lose it's magic.'"_

"Don't question the jersey. It brought me home gold that one super bowl."

"Yeah, and they've lost every one since then. I think that some of the nacho cheese and beer Ezra's spilt on it has suffocated some of the 'magic.'" Spencer confirmed.

"Alright, just go get your chocolate!" Toby gave in, batting his hand at her. "Let me de-caveman myself in peace!"

She was already halfway out the door, "Love you too, Romeo!"

* * *

><p>Spencer lifted up the mat in front of Aria and Ezra's apartment, feeling around for the key and wrapping it in her fingers. Shoving it into the lock, she turned the door and took a step inside, closing the door carefully behind her.<p>

She hardly took a step into the living room before Aria's panicked, loud voice rang out from the end of the dark hallway. "Halt! Who goes there?!" She exclaimed, "I'm armed! I've got a candlestick and I sure as hell am not scared to use it!"

"I – " Spencer tried, desperately seeking out the light switch on the wall but unable to locate it successfully. Aria cut her off.

"I should warn you that I'm trained in martial arts! And I'm like really tall, too!"

"Ar – "

"I swear to God, I'm like six-foot-two! And I'll beat your ass! I have a pair of Chloe heels in my hand right now and I know for a fact that they'll scratch your eyes out!"

"Aria!" Spencer shouted, finally finding the light switch and flicking it on. "It's me!"

"Oh." The unfortunately _not_ six-foot-two pixie stood at the end of the now illuminated hallway, indeed holding a candlestick and a pair of her Chloe heels. She set them down on the hallway table and ambled over to Spencer, dragging her slipper-clad feet along the floor. "What the hell are you doing here this late? Scaring me shitless?"

"Well, you told me that Ezra left for Pittsburg after the party for an early meeting tomorrow and that he wouldn't be coming home until tomorrow afternoon. So I thought that I'd come over and ask you something."

"And calling me and saying, "Hey Aria, I have to ask you something" wouldn't do? Breaking into my apartment in the dead of night was the only logical way?"

"You have the key under the mat!"

"Well, it doesn't mean it's an invite to sneak in like a psycho killer!"

"Fine, I'll call next time!" Spencer gave up, rolling her eyes. "Now will you just shut up and let me ask you something?"

"Fine. Just let me make tea first." Aria replied, rounding the side of the couch and into the kitchen.

"We don't have time for that. We need to go now if we're going to go."

"Go? Where the hell would we go this late at night? Spencer, there's no way in this universe that I'm driving to Vegas for the weekend again."

"It was only one time! And all Hanna's idea, might I add!"

"Yeah well, I still can't get Hanna's puke out of my pink tube top, thank you very much."

"Please, you were enjoying the entire weekend – way more than I was."

"I was hammered the entire time! And so were you! Neither of us can remember a good chunk of it! Although I do seem to recall a tall drag queen named B-Rad…"

"Aria, focus." Spencer grasped both of her friend's wrists. "Listen to me: I came over here because I want you to come and see Jenna with me."

"What?!" Aria looked at Spencer like she had just dropped from the sky. "Go see that crazy bitch?! No way, Jose, hmm-mm. Not gonna happen."

"Please?! I want to talk to her about the gang!"

"Why the hell would you want to talk about that?! You know, normal people would want to _forget_ something traumatic like that…"

"Yeah well, I want to know why they are after her. And I don't think that she'll be honest with me if Toby's in the room."

Aria narrowed her eyes, biting her lip.

"Please."

Aria let out a sigh and rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll do it." She groaned. She grabbed her winter coat off of the back of the kitchen chair and shoved her arms into it. "But you so owe me. My wedding better be like freaking perfect. It better look like the one Helen threw Lillian in _Bridesmaids_."

"Don't worry, it will be!" Spencer promised, following her out the door, smiling the whole way.

"And I want an amazing wedding gift."

"Done and done." Spencer closed the apartment door behind her.

Aria continued walking down the dark hall, towards the stairway. She shot her pointed finger in the air, "And I want a pony for my birthday!"

**so how are you guys feeling about hanna and will? ;) what would their couple name be? wilna? hall? **

**haha so i;m so sorry i didnt update thurs! i did a formal apology on my tumblr (idk if any of you follow me there but) and i explained how my classes really got in the way. the work load is overwhelming.**

**so hats off to my fellow spobettes who went thru with the first spoby mission! it was a success! yayy! im so excited! if you havent done it yet and still want to help with the missions, we need all the help we can get! go to fortheluvofspoby at tumblr dot com and read the second mission! im almost done with mine ;)**

**AND DO NOT DROP HINTS TO THE WRITERS/ACTORS/DIRECTORS/PRODUCERS! haha we want it to be a surprise! ;)**

**Alright, if i get up to 230 reviews, i swear on the face of God and the love of Spoby that I'll update by this thursday at the latest - hopefully before then. **

**thanks so much for all your wonderful reviews! theyre so appreciated! ;)**

****verus diligo victum totus (true love conquers all)****

****AJ ;)****


	27. Author's Note: Questions and Answers

**Hey All! AJ here – **

**So I know this isn't the new chapter you were probably expecting, but I've been getting a lot of frequently asked questions via reviews and via tumblr. And I just wanted to clear up some answers:**

_**Why do you feel the need to bring Will into the picture?**_

**I'm a creative writer naturally. Writing is something I love to do. I write a lot of original ideas when I'm not writing this, and I even have a few journals full of poems I have written over the years. So, naturally, I love to create new characters. **

_**Why don't you ship Haleb?**_

**Actually, I LOVE Haleb. Like, they're my favorite ship on PLL other than Spoby and Jaria. I'm torn right now on how I'm going to write the ending – I have everything else in the story mapped out, but Hanna's ending is the only fuzzy part for me. I didn't separate Hanna and Caleb b/c I don't like them. I just know that the show does stuff like that, and sometimes things don't always work out. I love Haleb, don't worry! And I'm still brainstorming ideas on how to end my lovely Hanna-Banana's love story.**

**Now, that doesn't mean that I don't like writing about Hanna and Will; actually, I find it very fun. Caleb is my baby, but I love writing new characters. Also, I am a natural ship whore in real life. I ship Hanna, Aria, and Emily with anything that breathes. Okay, scratch that. I'd even ship them with a rock if it made them happy. However, for some reason, I only ship Spencer with Toby.**

**I guess OTPs are sacred that way.**

**Stay tuned and hang in there! More news on Hanna's love life to come!**

_**Do you take requests?**_

**Sometimes, yes. My story is very carefully mapped out and I have a lot of ideas that I'm trying to put into a timeline, but if I have a filler chapter, I'll take requests.**

_**What other Spoby FFs do you recommend?**_

**And of the three lovely stories written by Breedom2Be. I love my baby Bree – she's a very dear friend of mine. Also, Somewhere With You and the subsequent stories that are very popular around here. They're very, very will written ;)**

_**What other couples do you ship?**_

**PLL – Jaria, Haleb, Weslia, Emara, Ezria, Naria, and Wrenna (a little bit XD)**

**TVD – Delena, Klaroline, Janna, and Stelena**

**GG – Chair, Derena, Serenate**

**Suits – Darvey, Rake**

_**What's your tumblr?**_

**Tumblr – thespobydiaries**

**Twitter – AthenaJane212**

**Hope that answered your questions ;)**

**Thanks so much for all of the lovely reviews! New chapter to be up by Thurs at the latest!**


	28. Will the Real Jenna Marshall Please Step

Chapter 26:

Will the Real Jenna Marshall Please Step Forward?

"Spencer, what the hell are we doing here? This place is giving me the heebie-jeebies. And could you have picked a scarier time to go? Seriously, this is like…Radley Witching Hour."

"Aria, shut up, please." Spencer growled under hear breath as the two made their way down the hall towards Jenna's room. They had walked up all nine flights of stairs to make it there, and the entire time, Aria had held Spencer's arm in a death grip, clinging to her side as if the walls would suddenly melt away and the crazy residents would be unleashed to eat their faces off like zombies.

Needless to say, Spencer probably shouldn't have talked Aria into watching _Night of the Living Dead_ two nights previous…

Although visiting hours were long over, Will had promised Spencer that he had talked it over with the board and permitted her to see Jenna whenever she saw fit, whether it be in the middle of the day or the dead of night – as long as Jenna was okay with it.

The woman behind the front counter had informed Spencer and Aria that Jenna hadn't been very conversational for the past few days, and the only time she spoke a word was for the nurses when they gave her her medication. It made Spencer's blood run cold and Goosebumps rose on her skin. Was there some way that Jenna had known of the accident? Did she know it was going to happen? Is that what she was inferring?

She hoped to find out the answers tonight.

Fiddling with the key the nurse had given her, Spencer unlocked the door and gently turned the handle, cautious of Jenna being on the other end. Aria clenched down harder on her arm, her acrylic nails sinking into her skin like shark teeth. Spencer cursed under her breath and pushed the door further open, taking a deep breath before making her way inside.

The other side of the door was like a dark whole – pitch black. If Spencer would have closed the door behind her, she doubted that she would be able to see her hand in front of her face.

"Jenna?" Spencer called into the room.

Silence.

"Jenna?" Spencer took a cautious step forward.

Still nothing.

"Jen –?"

"Oh for the love of God…" Aria mumbled behind her, and then tromped forward, pushing Spencer out of the way, "Yo – bitch! Come out of hibernation, we're here to talk to you." She said sternly and reached around for a light.

Suddenly, a single candle flickered to life in the far corner of the room, illuminating the small crevice. Spencer could make out Jenna's wiry hand grasping the candlestick, and the flame shed light on her face, elucidating her features just enough so that she could see her, but still casting dark shadows along her cheekbones and beneath her eyes.

She looked terrible. Like the Ghost of Radley's past.

Or maybe just the ghost of her former self.

Sure, Jenna had always been built tiny, but the subtle curves of her body had flattened down, and now her frame stuck out in awkward points, her bones nearly visible through her skin. Her shallow face projected the image of a skeleton, and Spencer guessed that it had been days since she had last eaten. She was curled up in a ball in the same chair she had sat in when Spencer and Toby had last came to visit her, and she was all but swallowed up by a large, wool blanket.

"You rang?" She asked, her voice dry and sober.

"Jenna?" Spencer asked slowly, taking a step towards her.

Jenna raised her eyebrows, as if expecting her to go on.

"Uhm, sorry we're here so late, but we came to talk to you." Spencer said, struggling to keep calm. The whole thing was like a setting for a horror movie. The once-scared Aria now flopped easily on Jenna's bed, tucking her feet under her, as if she were right in her own home.

Spencer cleared her throat and turned back to Jenna.

"What do you want to talk to me about?" Jenna asked, calmly, yet guarded. Her voice was as cynical as ever, but it felt as though her bitterness was directed towards something else.

"Oh, like you don't know!" Aria cried, exasperated.

"I didn't ask you, who said you could sit on my bed and, for the record, I actually _don't_ know." Jenna shot at Aria, her tone now very, very harsh.

Aria shut up, looking to the other side of the dimly lit room, but staying right where she was on Jenna's bed.

Spencer took a deep breath. "Why are there four very angry men in a gang that want you dead?" She asked bluntly, refusing to beat around the bush.

Jenna looked up, surprised. She met eyes with Spencer, who stared back with a level gaze, arching an eyebrow.

"How do you know about them?" Jenna asked after a moment, her voice quiet and a bit shaky.

"Because last week I was cornered in an alleyway, wearing your jacket, and nearly died on the spot because they thought I was you."

Jenna didn't answer. She looked away, appearing to be ashamed.

"Jenna?"

Nothing.

"Jenna, why are they so mad? If they were willing to do to you what they did to me…then well, you must have done some pretty low stuff. That sob story you told us about Garrett probably wasn't even true, was it? You just made that up so we'd feel sorry for you. Are they the reason you tried to hurt yourself?"

No answer.

"Jenna! Answer me!"

Silence.

"Jenna!"

"Well, what am I supposed to say?!" Jenna spat back, her voice now loud and clear. "That Mitch and I were in serious trouble? That we were on the FBI's wanted list for selling illegal drugs? That we were so dirt poor and couldn't pay any bills and were kicked out of our apartment and that was the only way? Because it was! We were in so much trouble, Spencer! Like, you have no idea! I went to bed every night terrified of what would happen. I would wake up every day at dawn and have to move with Mitch somewhere else to avoid being spotted by the cops. We went to a new town every morning. And we'd have to disguise ourselves before even going into any restaurant or shop. It was living on the Lamb like no other.

"But then we met up with Asher. He was Mitch's older brother. He had been part of the drug deal originally, and had helped coordinate with Mitch to smuggle them into the country. He and his cronies – the rest of the gang. He told us that we would be all right, and that he had arranged a place to stay for us in hiding in California. He was set to meet us there the weekend before I returned to Rosewood. One night, when we were in Baker's Field, a few days before we were supposed to meet Asher, Mitch hatched a plan. He wanted to turn Asher and the rest of the gang over to the cops to clear our name. At first, I fought him on it. I didn't like the idea of someone else taking all the blame for it. I had only met Asher a few times, but I wasn't willing to do that to anyone, let alone my boyfriend's own brother. But then he reminded me of what our lives would be like if we went through with Asher's deal: always living in hiding, always in silence, not a friend in the world.

"So I agreed. The next morning, we went to the nearest police station and told the cops the story – well, our made-up version. Two days later, while on their way to California, Asher and his gang were spotted and taken to jail. They spent about a month in the slammer before they could get someone to bail them out. I'd moved out of Mitch's and returned to Rosewood soon after their arrest. Mitch and I were never able to get along after it. We blamed each other for the drug deal, saying that it was each others' fault. The last I'd heard of the gang, they were on parole, but by then, I was already living with Jason. I thought it was all over. My name was cleared, right? I could go on with my life again. Try to forget.

"Just when I started to get comfortable, I got a phone call late one night. It was Asher; he only spoke for a moment, but he said that he knew where I was, and that he would find me. He said that he had already killed Mitch in secret and was now planning his revenge on me.

"And that…that's when I knew there was no way out. I didn't call Garrett that night; I'm not even sure he was home. But after my attempt to…make the pain go away, when I woke up in the hospital and heard I was going to Radley…I was scared, but…at the same time, I felt like at least it was a place that I could be safe.

"And then you and Toby came to talk to me about what happened and…I knew I couldn't tell you the truth. Not only is it hard to talk about, but I couldn't risk anyone else finding out about it. Especially not Asher."

Spencer shook her head in awe, "Why didn't you just turn yourself in? Give up?"

Jenna shook her head vigorously. "I couldn't." Her voice broke on the last word. She swallowed a lump in her throat and tried to control the oncoming tears. "I was scared and…I didn't know what to do. Mitch was very thorough with his instructions; I knew that if I disobeyed him…he'd leave me on my own to deal with the cops."

"Yeah, well, because of you, Spencer got seriously hurt." Aria said, her voice cold.

"Why would they think you were me?"

"They were drunk. And I was in your jacket. Which reminds me," Spencer reached into her messenger bag. "Here." She tossed Jenna's jacket into her lap. "I hope there's not too much of my blood on it." She said cynically.

Jenna looked down at the jacket and then back up at Spencer.

"I thought I knew you better than that, Jenna. I thought _you_ were better than that…" Spencer said slowly, shaking her head. "You think you know people. And then they go and surprise you."

Spencer crossed the room in haste, grasping the arm of Jenna's chair and leaning into her face. She made sure that her hair fell to one side, revealing the white line of scar tissue that inched its way over her ear and disappeared into her hairline behind her head. Jenna stayed frozen, trying to stay in control of her composure. "But just so we're clear, Jenna…" She said, her voice low, "You owe me. You may not have known it was happening, but I took a major blow for you. And I'm not saying now, but one day, I'm going to come and collect. I promise you." Said Spencer, the whole time keeping her gaze even with Jenna's.

With that last word, Spencer pulled back and blew out the candle.

* * *

><p>"It's beautiful. Samara will love it." Toby confirmed.<p>

"Thank you." Emily smiled triumphantly. "I _did_ go to like a billion stores to get it in this color, but I think it'll off-set her eyes quite nicely."

Toby nodded, handing the pale blue scarf back to his best friend. After Spencer had left for her mysterious chocolate run, Toby had called up Emily – who hadn't gone to bed early since her freshman year of high school – and asked her to come over and finish wrapping last-minute presents with him for the Christmas gathering the following day.

"Are you all ready for tomorrow?" Emily inquired. The two sat on the floor of Toby's living room, surrounded by a sea of wrapped gifts, tissue paper, bags, and bows. The decorated tree stood salutatory in the corner.

"As I'll ever be." Toby grinned. His eyes wandered to the wrapped gift beneath the tree – the one in shiny gold paper, standing out amid the other presents.

"I'm excited for you." Emily smiled back. "It's been well worth the wait."

"I'm doing the right thing, right?"

"Absolutely. You're taking a chance on love – what's more right than that?"

"Very true." Toby agreed. He stuck a bow on the top of the present he had wrapped for Hanna – a new pair of boots that Spencer had picked out from Macy's. "You know, I'm actually getting the hang of this wrapping thing." He chuckled as he set the gift beneath the tree.

"Oh please." Emily teased, "It still looks like a Martha-Stewart-Epilepsy-Fit."

"Gee, thanks, Em. Your words are always so poetic." Toby rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I try." She shrugged. "Do you think _I'm_ doing the right thing? With this beta-test relationship thing I have going on with Samara?"

"Of course. You're taking a chance on love. What's more right than that?" Toby winked.

"Okay, Robert Frost, your poetic language only does you good if you think of it _yourself_…"

"Well, hey, it's true! I think it's great that you and Samara are taking it slow; it'll work out better in the long run since you're so far apart most of the year."

"Yeah, don't remind me…" Emily replied under her breath.

"…But that'll all be changing soon." Toby gave her a knowing look and reached over to nudge her shoulder.

"I can't wait to tell everyone tomorrow." Emily gave a serene smile, and let out a soft breath before returning to her gift. "Alright. That's the last of mine. I should probably get going – I don't want bags under my eyes for the party tomorrow."

"Yeah, I should probably get some shut-eye, too. I hope Spencer gets here soon – it's not like her to be out so late."

"Hey, don't worry about it. Knowing her, she probably got sidetracked and ended up at Hanna's. Ten bucks says that they're on her couch watching _Bridesmaids_ right now." Emily got to her feet, and Toby followed suit.

He chuckled. "Yeah, you're probably right. I'll give her a call after you leave."

"Sounds good. I'll leave my gifts here for tomorrow. G'night." Emily smiled and waved goodbye as she made her way through the door. "Oh, and Toby?" She said.

Toby looked up at her as he reached to pick up the last scraps of leftover wrapping paper, "Yeah?"

"'My love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.'" She quoted perfectly. "I think you know who it's by."

Toby chuckled and nodded. "Yes, I do."

"You both are infinite, Toby. Your love is infinite. Always remember that." And with a wink, the dark-haired mermaid disappeared out the door and into the frosty night, leaving Toby alone, laughing to himself and picking up the rest of the paper.


	29. Just Say Yes

Chapter 27:

Just Say Yes

The funny thing about snowflakes is that they just keep changing. Never quite solid, but nearly whole for a minute, before flaking away into tiny wet crystals and dripping into liquid, then evaporating back to their home in the sky.

In some ways, Hanna was like a snowflake. Her life had had enough change in it to supply an entire family of people. Hanna would fall, crumple, melt away, but then slowly get back up and make her way back home.

She thought she had seen the last of her smiles when she hit rock bottom with Caleb. No one left for her, no love, no smiles to brighten her face on a cold winter's day…

But yet, there she was, on Christmas Eve, walking down the snowy street of Rosewood, her heels clicking against the pavement, arms adorn with last-minute Christmas gifts, wearing a huge grin on her lips even as the chill of the day nipped at the tip of her nose and cheeks.

She was…happy.

Confident.

Strong.

Will had texted her early that morning, apologizing that he couldn't attend the Christmas party for about the fiftieth time, and she had smiled even more.

It was so odd, when she thought about it. Going from loving someone so much and feeling so much pain over losing them, to grinning widely over an old friend who just made the world that much brighter for her.

And maybe it wasn't that she had _needed_ Will, or needed _anyone_ for that matter. Maybe it was just because she needed someone to show her who she was. Help her find herself in the mirror, after her reflection had gotten so lost beneath the layers of superficial things and heavy secrets.

As she opened the door to Saks, stepping inside and being welcomed by the sweet scent of leather and tissue paper, Hanna wondered why it had been such a shock for her.

In that little infinity of time, that long stretch of minutes and hours that make up life, she felt that something would change. That while everything else crashed around her, ranging from Caleb to Spencer, she had found this little diamond in the rubble. Amid the flames.

She had found herself. In the most abstract way possible.

And somehow she had known that her life would change in some way.

And just like that, it had.

* * *

><p>"Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!" Aria rang out in her thick, fake-Christina-Aguilara-esque singing voice as Spencer opened the front door. She held up a handful of mistletoe over them, and leaned in to plant a kiss on her maid of honor's cheek. "The party has arrived!" Behind her, Ezra chuckled and put a hand on her back.<p>

Spencer grinned and stepped aside, "Come on in, you two lovebirds! Join the party!"

Inside, Toby was already busy mixing the hot chocolate for their guests, putting a few drops of liquor into the mugs for an extra kick. Emily and Samara were lounging across the sofa, amid bunches of lit candles and other holiday festivities. Hanna – who was sadly _not_ bringing Will Lovat – had yet to arrive, but Melissa actually bothered to stop by. Wren was "working" (insert Spencer's eye roll here), so Melissa had only seen it fit to "visit her darling little sister" and "bring little Taylor along." Not that Spencer minded, of course – she adored her little niece. But Spencer had half-expected after nearly a month of not speaking to Melissa, she might show up with a new baby in her arms. But alas, her baby bump was not yet visible, although the embryo continued to grow and develop within her.

Maybe she just hadn't wanted to be lonely for the holidays.

But nevertheless, Melissa had only spent a good half-hour with them before deciding that she "ought to visit Mom before the day was over" and packed up her things and promptly left. Spencer wondered why she had been in such a hurry to make a dash for the door. Did she realize that she felt unwelcome? Or maybe she wanted to meet up with Franco?

Now, only two ladies relaxed in the living room, on the very same couch that had survived countless intimate encounters between Spencer and Toby. She tried not to giggle when remembering the incident that had happened just a few days previous…

_"Does this sweater smell weird?"_

_ "What?"_

_ "My sweater. Does it smell weird?"_

_ "Spencer, you and your odd questions…"_

And somehow, it had evolved into something entirely different and all too sensual for a night before her makeup exam. She bit her lip and blushed, looking away. She had half-expected herself to write her exam essay on Toby's abs and how distracting his arms were at times…

Everything was perfect. The drinks were set, the cookies were fresh from the oven, and Hanna was on her way. Sadly, Jason had been called home to visit his parents in Seattle, and was unable to attend the get-together, but had given her a little wrapped present before leaving that morning.

Spencer vaguely wondered why Melissa had failed to show up accompanied by her knight in shining armor – the father of her yet-to-be-born child – but brushed it off and closed the door behind Aria and Ezra.

Aria had chosen to deck herself out in a pair of green skinny jeans and oversize red reindeer sweater that only she could pull off, and pair them with two spiral antennas bouncing from her headband, little red balls topping the end. Ezra, on the other hand, had settled on a casual pair of dark jeans and dark-red sweater that Spencer knew he'd probably owned since he was their teacher in high school.

Spencer herself had decided to wear a red, long sleeve, turtleneck sweater dress with a pair of black boots that Hanna would surely approve of, and let her hair fall in loose curls down her back with a thin red ribbon clip decorating one side above her ear.

Toby had told her that she looked absolutely adorable, yet in a completely adult/mature way. She had laughed and hit him over the side of the head before sauntering into the living room to finish decorations.

The tree was the biggest and most decked out one the two of them had ever had, and a large pile of gifts exploded from beneath it. In the background, Andy Williams' Christmas album, mixed with a bit of Barbra Streisand Holiday and some Frank Sinatra classics played low through the speakers.

Emily and Samara had arrived first, the two of them altogether too giddy just to _be_ there. Spencer got the impression that neither of them got out too much. Or maybe they were just excited to be spending their first Christmas together. Who knows?

Emily, always very collected in her wardrobe, had appropriately dressed in black jeans, a cream turtleneck, and an adorable red sweater that Spencer had seen her buy at Nordstrom when Spencer had taken them shopping the first week of semester break.

Samara, on the other hand, couldn't have looked more unique in her omnipresent beanie – this time in a fierce shade of red – and cream-colored tunic shirt, tied at the waist with a red leather belt, and a layered black maxi skirt. The whole outfit came together with a pair of red-leather boots that could stop a semi-truck in its tracks. And yet...Samara was the only one who could pull it all off.

It was obvious that Melissa hadn't exactly planned for the occasion, and it had been an incredibly last-minute ordeal, for she had worn the same black leather jacket she had owned since last year, and a plain pair of dark-wash jeans and red sweater. Taylor wore the same Christmas dress that Spencer had seen her wear in a picture of last Christmas, which they had spend in Hawaii as a family. It had been Spencer's favorite picture of them – all three of them were arm-in-arm, smiling and laughing like they were having the time of their lives. In all of the other photos, Melissa and Taylor had been cozying up to the camera for their close-ups, while Wren typed away at his BlackBerry in the background.

But it didn't exactly matter, since Melissa had put her shoes back on and quietly left shortly after arriving, the same black cloud hovering over her like it had when she first arrived.

Finally, Spencer's eyes centered upon her always well-dressed boyfriend. Hanna had always complained of having to fix Caleb's wardrobe during parties and events, trying to make him look less like a "juvenile delinquent" and more like a "presentable adult male of his time."

But it was safe to say that Spencer never had to do anything for Toby to dress appropriately. She wasn't sure how he had pulled the "well-dressed" gene out of his parents, seeing as he had spent less time with them than Spencer had in detention, but whatever the reason, Toby never failed to impress with his attire. Like that day, for instance. Rather than pulling out the corny purposely-ugly-for-comical-reasons-Christmas sweater that most guys his age were so prone to do, Toby wore a nice pair of dark jeans, a long-sleeve dark green sweater, and a loose black cloth jacket. Spencer could have sworn that someone pulled him straight out of a Brooks Brothers catalog and stuck him right smack dab in the middle of the party.

Spencer rounded the side of the counter as Aria and Ezra slipped their gifts under the tree and made themselves comfortable on the couch amongst Emily and Samara.

"Ah, nothing like some holiday football to bring everyone closer together." Ezra said with a smile on his face.

"Yeah, it's really an endearing thing when you _can't understand anything that's going on_." Aria replied snidely, and Ezra laughed, putting an arm around her and kissing her temple.

"Hey, that's not true!" Spencer said from behind the counter. "You know that Tom Brady looks yummy in a beanie."

"And for that very reason I can't watch Patriots games anymore." Aria narrowed her eyes at Ezra, who held his hands up in surrender.

Emily giggled and Samara looked from the TV back to the group. "I don't know. Football's never really been my thing."

"What, you don't like watching a bunch of sweaty, bearded, brawny guys parade around in pants tighter than their skin and shoulder pads that belong in the 80's?" Emily teased.

"Especially not when you put it that way." Samara laughed, "And everyone wonders why I like girls…"

The rest of the group joined in with the chorus of laughter, and Spencer stepped to the side so that she could wrap her arms around Toby's middle.

"Hey, those look great." She smiled, peering around him at the second set of drinks he was preparing.

Toby looked over his shoulder at her and set down the flask he was holding, turning around to wrap his arms around her as well. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Thanks. Have I told you how incredible you look today yet?" He murmured into her hair.

"Approximately four and a half times since this morning."

"Four and a _half_?" Toby drew back, furrowing his eyebrows. "How can someone give someone a half of a compliment?"

"Well, you were half of the way through saying it when Emily and Samara rang the doorbell. So four and a half compliments today."

"Well, let's make it five and a half." Toby chuckled and tucked a loose curl behind her ear. "You look beautiful." He murmured low in her ear, and she shivered a bit as she felt his warm breath on her skin. She pressed her face into his sweater and quietly breathed him in, tightening her hold on him. Toby always emanated a special kind of smell – a mix of sawdust, the same cologne he'd worn since high school, and something so simply…_Toby._ That same distinctive sensation always hit her when she was kissing him, tasting something in him that could only be described with his name. Intoxicating as it was, it never failed to remind Spencer of how lucky she was, how true and honest Toby was. She knew him to the core.

And in just a short six days, she would be one step closer to becoming _Mrs._ True-And-Honest.

She smiled into his chest for another moment before drawing away. "Alright, enough of that." She said professionally, "We have guests to entertain. Toby laughed and planted one last kiss on her forehead, before letting her grab the tray behind him and walk around the counter into the living room. Just as she was setting the drinks on the coffee table, the doorbell sounded, and a huge smile grew on Spencer's face.

"Hanna!" She exclaimed upon opening the door. Her best friend stood out in the midst of the falling snow, looking like a holiday greeting card with her snowflake-dappled curls, slightly pink cheeks, black leather jacket, red scarf, and huge smile.

Hanna wrapped her free arm around Spencer, the other arm balancing a pile of gifts on her hip, and entered the apartment, stomping snow off of her new Marc Jacobs boots.

"Yes, yes, I'm here. Feel free to start having fun now." Hanna teased.

"Phew." Toby replied, coming out from behind the kitchen counter and towards her. "Good, we were waiting for your okay." He joked.

She playfully punched him in the shoulder before wrapping an arm around him. He hugged her back. "Thanks for coming, Han."

"Well, it wouldn't be Christmas without that annual Cavanaugh-Hastings party, now would it?" Hanna answered as she crossed through the foyer into the living room, setting her pile of gifts amongst the other beneath the tree.

"Dinner will be ready shortly, but in the meantime, feel free to munch on the cookies we've put out and toss back some eggnog." Spencer told her as Hanna took a seat next to Aria on the couch. The little black-haired pixie threw her arms around her, squeezing her tightly. "Han!"

Emily and Samara were the next to hug the blonde fashionista, smiling widely. Spencer couldn't tell if they were just vivaciously happy to see her, or if they still feared that she would shatter to pieces after the events with Caleb and the mugging.

But Hanna still sat there with that wide, genuine smile on her face, looking like she didn't have a care in the world. It was nice to see her like that; Spencer had missed her smile.

"Alright, guys, I have to admit, I brought some pretty _incredible_ prezzies for all of you!" Hanna exclaimed. "So are we doing gifts before or after dinner?"

"Before." Aria decided.

The rest of the group broke into a fit of laughter, "Alright there, Miss Aria. The boss has spoken." Emily teased.

"Whose first?!" Aria asked eagerly.

"Me!" Samara raised her hand. "Me!"

"Alright, Samara, you first!" Spencer replied as Toby pulled her into his lap on the free armchair.

Samara clapped her hands together with glee and approached the tree, digging out six colorfully wrapped boxes. Spencer snorted at the sight of them – they were all so creatively wrapped they looked like something pulled straight out of a cover of a Betty Crocker Holiday magazine.

"For the soon-to-be-newlyweds." She smiled, handing Aria and Ezra each a gift.

"For my fashion sister." She winked, giving one to Hanna.

"For my darling lovebirds." She presented Spencer and Toby each with one.

"And for my lovely Em." She said finally, handing her girlfriend a slightly larger box with a pink ribbon on the top. "Well, open them!"

The group obeyed, and suddenly the air was a storm of colors – red and orange wrapping paper, yellow and pink tissue paper, decorative bows and cards…

"Aw, Samara!" Aria exclaimed, holding up the gift once she had unearthed it from the box. "It's adorable!"

"You like it?"

"Love it!" Hanna agreed, holding up her matching gift.

Samara had given each one of the friends a copy of her trademark beanie, each in different colors and styles depending on their gender and personality.

"Aw, look, Ezra!" Aria cooed, "Now you, too, can look like Tom Brady!"

Ezra chuckled and kissed her forehead, while Aria forcibly wrestled his new navy beanie onto his curly-haired head. She tossed her festive antenna headband onto the coffee table and put on her own red-and-black-striped beanie, smiling.

Toby reached out and plucked Spencer's hat from her hands, gently tugging it over her head, purposely covering her eyes with the hem. She giggled and fell back against him, poking his chest and tugging the hem up so that her eyes were once again visible. He gently pecked her lips and nuzzled her temple while Emily unwrapped her own gift for Samara.

"Aw, Samara!" She said, "It's beautiful!"

For Emily, Samara had selected not only a dark green beanie nearly identical to the one Em had been wearing when the two first became friends, but also a short, classy, silver necklace with an elegantly-written _Emily_ charm hanging from the end.

"Here." Samara took the box from her and threaded out the necklace. "Turn to the side."

Emily obeyed, and Samara pushed all of her girlfriend's long black curls over one shoulder before hooking the necklace around her neck and letting it settle over her collarbone. "Perfect." She grinned.

"Thank you so much! I love it!" Emily threw her arms around her, and Samara kissed her cheek.

"I'm glad you do."

When Emily drew back, she looked around the room, a smile on her face. "Alright, I wanted to wait to tell you guys until dinner but…I don't wanna wait anymore."

She exchanged a knowing look with Toby, and Spencer furrowed her eyebrows as her boyfriend nodded in approval. What were they planning…?  
>"As of the next semester, I'm going to be transferred to U Penn!" She exclaimed. "So now, I get to swim for them, see you guys more often, and we can hang out on weekends!"<p>

The rest of the group exchanged looks before breaking out into grins once more.

"Oh my God! Are you serious?!"

"That's amazing!"

"Yay! OMG now we can shop together!"

"I've missed hanging out with you!"

They all chorused at the same time.

Samara, on the other hand, looked surprised and didn't say a word. Emily turned to her, taking both of her hands. "Well, say something…"

Samara shook her head in awe. Finally, a huge smile graced her lips and she threw her arms around Emily, hugging her tight. "You mean that I get to see you as much as I want now?"

"Promise you won't get tired of me?" Emily teased.

"Not a chance."

* * *

><p>So, after unwrapping the rest of the gifts from one another, the group of friends sat down for a wonderful dinner of Christmas ham and turkey – tofurkey for little Miss Vegan Aria – and a bunch of other goodies that had been brought to the party by their guests.<p>

As for the presents, Spencer and Toby's gift of See's Candy and a different little trinket for each person in correspondence to their personalities was a hit. For Aria, they had given her a new set of watercolors – the poor girl had been practically begging for them all month. For Hanna, Spencer had purchased a pair of black boots that she knew the fashionista would practically salivate over. For Ezra, they had picked out the complete works of his favorite poet. For Emily, a charm bracelet to start collecting charms for; as a joke, Toby had hooked a tiny mermaid charm to one of the links, which had brought out a huge giggle fit from Emily. And lastly, for Samara, Spencer had bought her a tiny traveling sewing kit and a pair of pink hoop earrings that were all-too-Samara to pass up.

Hanna had given all of the friends wrapped boxes of letter-shaped chocolate, arranged to spell out each of their names. Of course, they were an immediate success. Aria was already gnawing on her dark chocolate "A" before the gift-giving was even over.

Emily had gifted the friends each with a Starbucks gift card and a free movie passes for a month. Hanna and Aria were already making plans to see the new Nicholas Sparks film before Spencer even unwrapped hers.

Aria and Ezra had been generous enough to buy each of the friends a classic, collector's version of each other their favorite books. So, for Toby, a hardback version of _Cather in the Rye_, for Hanna, _Confessions of a Shopaholic_, for Emily, _The Complete Works of Edgar Allen Poe, _and for Samara, the final _Twilight_ novel.

When Spencer opened hers, she tilted her head to the side and gave Aria a knowing smile. When she unearthed her new, fancy edition of Shakespeare's greatest love story of all time – _Romeo and Juliet_ – the group had begun to cheer loudly.

"Because your other copy was nearly falling apart at the hinges." Aria had reasoned. "I hope you like it!"

"I do." Spencer replied sincerely. She crossed the room and wrapped her free arm around her favorite bride. "Thank you for being the crazy romantic you are."

"My pleasure." Aria grinned.

When Spencer sat back down in the armchair with Toby, Hanna had cupped her hands around her mouth as if she were part of an audience at a concert and called out, "Read us something!"

"Yeah, read us something!" The rest of the group agreed in unison.

Spencer exchanged a look with Toby, and she smiled, shaking her head and opening to one of their favorite lines. They already knew the page number by heart.

"_If friendship can be love, you can try this - _

_So dear I love him that with him, _

_All deaths I could endure. _

_Without him, live no life."_

The friends had smiled and applauded, and Spencer smiled softly, looking around the room at all of her lovely guests.

Because…they were _more_ than "friends," as Juliet had put so lovingly. They were a group of people who depended on each other and loved each other unconditionally.

They were a family.

And always would be.

* * *

><p>"Alright, I think that's the last of the tissue paper." Spencer said, flopping back on the couch amid the many trash bags filled with wrapping paper, bows, and other gift-giving festivities.<p>

"Yeah, I think that Hanna had a little bit too much fun making confetti out of Samara's colorful wrapping…" Toby sat down beside her. All of their guests has finally returned to their houses, and were probably asleep in their beds, eagerly awaiting Christmas day.

Spencer peered up at the tree beside them, still wonderfully decorated for tomorrow's holiday.

"That was a great night. Wouldn't you say?" She said, kicking off her shoes.

"Wonderful." Toby agreed. "I think everyone had a great time. Even Melissa."

"Oh, yeah, for the entire twenty minutes she was here." Spencer teased, rolling her eyes.

Toby chuckled. "I'm so glad I get to spend the holidays with you now; it actually makes me look forward to them, rather than dreading them."

"Why would you dread Christmas? It's the most magical time of year!"

"Well, maybe in the Hoity-Toity Hastings' house it is, but gathering around our yearly Charlie Brown tree while Jenna played out notes from _O, Christmas Tree_ on her flute and watched my parents throw away all of the cookies people had made for us because they were so 'fattening' isn't that much fun."

Spencer giggled. "Wow, who knew the Cavanaughs were Grinches?"

"Everyone."

"Not me."

"Well, that's because you hardly paid attention to me until you came to tutor me junior year."

"Hey, don't make me feel guilty for that!"

"I'm not trying to. I still remember that day as one of the best of my life; I learned I could trust people again." He tightened his arm around her shoulder. "And I'm so glad you were the person to show me."

Spencer smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "Me too. I couldn't be happier. And honestly, I can't imagine my life anyway else than the way it is – here with you, spending my best years growing and learning with you by my side. And I hope I never have to live any other way."

"I was hoping you'd say that…" Toby grinned, swiping the tip of his finger over the end of her nose, causing her face to scrunch up and her to giggle.

"Always and forever. I promise."

Toby leaned in and nuzzled her hair. "Merry Christmas, Spence."

"Merry Christmas, Toby. And a happy New Year." _No pun intended,_ she thought giddily.

When she drew back an inch to look over her shoulder at the tree, she shrugged. "Well, that's the last of the gifts."

"Uhm, well, not quite…I still haven't given you your gift yet."

"I thought we promised each other no gifts this year! So we could save our money for gifts for our friends!" Spencer protested.

"I couldn't help myself."

"Toby Cavanaugh, you never fail to amaze me. Just when I think that I have the upper hand on this romantic mumbo-jumbo, you decide to swerve in on your dreamy little Valentine's Day float and outshine me to no end. It's really quite annoying and I'm wondering when you'll finally realize that – "

While she was yammering on in her familiar, scolding tone, Toby had gotten to his feet and rounded the side of the tree, pulling out the large gold-wrapped gift adorn with a large cream bow, and sauntered back over to her.

"Shh…Spence. Just be quiet and take the gift." He chuckled, sitting back down beside her and slipping the box into her lap. His hand touched the back of her neck, gently stroking her hair.

Spencer let out a frustrated breath. "Fine. But if you think that I'm not going to buy you an expensive gift in return, you've got another thing co – " Her heart stopped beating as she lifted the top off of the box, revealing an aging, semi-beat-up Scrabble box.

"Is this...?"

"The very same Scrabble Board that we played in the room next to 214 at the little motel in Rosewood four years ago." Toby finished. "Glyceraldehyde and goofball. Ring a bell?"

"Yes, oh…oh my God." Spencer shook her head, "How did you find it?"

"You left it in the motel room, and I took it home. At first, I thought about returning it to you…but then I decided to hang onto it for safe-keeping."

Spencer kept shaking her head in awe. "It's so…perfect."

Toby leaned in and kissed her temple. "Open it." He whispered low in her ear.

Confused, she obeyed, lifting off the top of the box.

When she did, she stopped breathing.

Her heart thudded to a halt.

Her legs felt like jelly.

Her hands started shaking.

There, nestled atop the folded Scrabble board, were two letter-holders glued together. The letters before her spelled out "_Will You Marry Me?"_ with a stunning diamond ring in place of the "O."

With shaking fingers, she reached for the ring. Toby's hands beat her to it, and when she looked over at him, he was already kneeling before her on the carpet. One hand clasped over her mouth, still shaking her head.

"Spencer Jill Hastings." He started slowly, his soft blues eyes peering deeply into hers. He wore that soft smirk that she knew too well. "Everyday with you has been a dream come true. You make everything I do meaningful. The thought of spending even a single day without you is too horrible to even think about. I can't even express how much I've enjoyed waking up next to you every morning, watching our relationship continue to grow and develop, and learn new things about each other every day. You're the love of my life, my best friend, my solid rock, my safe place to land, and I want you to be my wife and mother of my children. Will you please give me the greatest honor of marrying me?"

Spencer sighed, her eyes still wide and her lips parted. Her pulse pounded in her temples and she shook her head once again with awe.

The side of Toby's mouth quirked up into a smile. "Spence, say something." He urged.

"I…you…I…why did you go and do something like that, you idiot?" She asked, blissfully happy yet exasperated. "I had everything planned! I was going to propose to _you_ on – "

"New Year's Eve. More specifically midnight New Year's Day." Toby replied.

"How did you…?" She furred her eyebrows. "Aria." She said her name like an expletive.

Toby chuckled and shook his head. "Nope."

"Hanna?"

"Nope."

"Melissa? Ezra? The lady who slices my ham at Raley's? Who?!"

"Let's just say a little mermaid told me…"

"Emily?! Why would she…why would she do that?"

"Because she knew that I was going to propose to you and neither one of us wanted you to beat me to it." Toby answered, "See, Spence…this is how it _should_ be. Now please don't get all feminist on me, but this is one last romantic thing I want to do before we get to share our lives together as equals."

"But I…the watch a-a-and my poem and my plans and I…" She sputtered.

"Spencer." Toby said with a smile. He put his finger over her lips before cupping her face in his hands. "Just say yes."

She sighed, snorting with the romance and silliness of it all, but nonetheless smiled widely, squeezing his hands. "Yes."

And with that, Toby's face became something that she very rarely saw in a man – a look of triumph, ease, complete bliss, and the feeling that everything was right in the world. He took her shaking left hand and slipped the ring onto it. The square-face diamond glimmered in the low candlelight, and the band was adorned with tiny little diamonds in a line. To Spencer, it couldn't have been more perfect. It was exactly what she would have picked out for herself, and yet also something that was so obviously picked out by Toby.

"It's perfect." She whispered under her breath.

Toby shook his head in awe, "Even more perfect than I thought it would be." He marveled. "Look at the inside."

She slipped it off of her finger, turning it on its side in her fingertips, reading the words engraved inside: _"…Juliet and her Romeo…"_

Tears welled up in Spencer's eyes and she gave a soft yelp as he got to his feet, pulling her off the couch and into his arms, squeezing her tightly. She buried her face in his shoulder as he gently twirled her in a circle, before drawing back and letting him kiss her full on the lips, softly devouring her mouth. She sighed and breathed him in as they stood there, in the pale glow of the candlelight, on Christmas Eve night, happier than they had both been in a very, very long time.

Romeo and Juliet would have been proud.

_**"Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back**_

_**It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind**_

_**Only love..."**_

_****_**ta-da! yes, so this has been the ch you have all been waiting for! i hope it was everything you hoped for! sorry it took me so long - schoolwork-slash-wisdom-teeth-extraction was pretty taxing on me :/**

**anyway, altho this story is FAR from over, i want to thank all of my lovely followers and reviewers, and my darling spobettes :) i love you to infinity and beyond ;)**

**alright guys, if i get over 260 reviews on this ch, i'll update by Friday ;)**


	30. Breathe Again

Chapter 28:

Breathe Again

It fascinated Spencer just how much a ring could change a hand. How a tiny diamond, atop a little silver band, could turn a regular old hand that was usually boring and mundane into something to gawk at.

For her, it was nice being one of the only ones who knew about the ring, and what it meant to her and Toby. At least for a little while. Like the secret was just theirs to have, to hold, to share if they chose.

Something that was really, truly theirs, in a way that nothing else was.

She smiled, sighing and cuddling back into Toby's warmth. She lay there, spooned against him, her free hand intertwined with his, admiring how the light peeking through the gap in the curtains hit her engagement ring in _just_ the right way to make it cast shattered sparkles along the wall.

Never in her life did she think that she would get so giddy over a simple trinket. Her, Spencer Jill Hastings, infamous pragmatist and realist, going googly-eyed over something like an engagement ring. Maybe it was just because Toby brought out the romantic in her. The whole Valentine's-Day-Hearts-And-Flowers-And-Candy scheme was in her – it was buried pretty deep – but it was there. And Toby had somehow brought it out.

She wondered if she should wake him – jump up and down on the mattress like she did every Christmas, impersonating an impatient child, and drag him out to the kitchen for special morning Christmas coffee (which was, in theory, much less festive that it sounded). But she felt…calm. At ease.

Happy.

It had taken her so long to find that peace. Through the hellish years of high school, the craziness of college, the uncomfortable encounters with her sister, the even more uncomfortable encounters with _his_ sister, the problems with Jason, the mugging…

It made her wonder if she had truly felt peaceful since before freshman year of high school.

How crazy was it that a mere ring could do something like that? Calm her in a way that countless yoga classes, friend gatherings, and deep conversations couldn't?

For the first time in years, Spencer felt like she could finally breathe again.

Toby made a soft sleeping sound behind her, his breath tickling the back of her neck, and she grinned, peering over her shoulder at him.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty." She said softly. She reached up with her newly-ringed hand and raked her fingers through his hair, trailing behind his ear.

With his eyelids still purposely closed, he made a muffled groaning sound, and suddenly tightened his hold on her, turning her in his arms and drawing her against him, burying his face in her neck. "Five more minutes…can't Christmas wait?"

Slightly breathless, Spencer giggled, "'Fraid not, Romeo. Daylight's calling."

"Tell the sun to calm the hell down."

"I'll give them the message." She replied, her pointer finger tracing a heart on his bare chest. "They say stick it to them."

Toby chuckled against her hair, pressing a kiss to her temple. He reached down and twined her left hand with his, pulling it up and gently playing with her fingers. His eyes caught on the ring adorning her finger, and a soft smile played on his lips. She sighed blissfully, and he pressed a gentle kiss to the skin above her knuckles, letting his lips linger on her skin.

"As much as I wish we could stay like this forever…" Spencer said idly as Toby traced soft kisses down her open palm and along the inside of her wrist. "Christmas coffee with Emily and Samara, remember?"

"Mmm…" Toby mumbled against her skin. "You don't want to call your mother first?"

"What for?"

"Well, for one, to wish her a happy holiday; for another…" He held up her hand, motioning toward the ring for explanation.

"Ughhh can't we just keep it a secret?" Spencer groaned, flopping onto her back and scowling.

"Oh, I'm so glad you aren't ashamed to marry me…" Toby replied sarcastically.

"No, no! It's not that!" Spencer said hastily. "Not that at all! It's just that…I like keeping it between us. It makes it seem more sacred and less…commercial." She held her hand out far in front of her, watching the diamond dance in the light.

"Well, don't you think it'll be odd for them sooner or later? Like 'hey whose the newborn in all those Christmas cards with the familiar chin dimple…?'"

"Hey, whoa, no one said anything about babies yet!" Spencer exclaimed, batting his chest as he tackled her down deeper against the pillows, smothering her.

Hovering above her, he pushed loose strands of hair out of her face, "Even if they have six-packs?"

Spencer giggled, "Let's just start with a wedding." She replied.

"Sounds good to me – which is going to be when, by the way?"

"After Aria's, of course. Summertime, maybe? It's always happiest then."

"Well, we can discuss it later."

"Yes," She agreed, leaning over the side of the bed to check the time, "Because we're supposed to meet Em and Samara in ten!" She gently shoved him off her, and hopped out of bed, scampering toward the dresser and riffling through the top drawer for some of her clothes.

Within seconds, Toby was at her back, wrapping his arms around her and pressing a kiss into her hair, "Have I ever told you how sexy you are when you wear my shirts?" He murmured low in her ear, his fingertips toying with the end of his t-shirt that she was wearing.

"Toby, just last week you were chastising me for not wearing any of my own and 'absconding with your precious shirts, leaving you without any for work.'"

"Well, last week you were my beautiful girlfriend. Today, you're my gorgeous fiancée."

"Hmm, didn't know that a ring could effect my beauty…"

"It doesn't." Toby's breath tickled her ear, and he suddenly gripped her hips, spinning her and lifting her so that she was sitting on the dresser. "It must be your engaged-woman-glow."

Spencer giggled breathlessly and wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him in for a kiss. "At this rate, we're never getting to coffee…"

"Works for me, Juliet."

* * *

><p>Hanna usually liked to take it easy on Christmas mornings. Sleep late, make coffee for herself, and watch TV in her pajamas before meeting with Aria for lunch. In the past years, she and Caleb had engaged in Christmas movie marathons – <em>How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Annie, It's a Wonderful Life – <em>and ate leftover Christmas cookies, complaining about how fat they would both get, but not truly giving a crap.

This year had been so different. It had put Hanna through a lot, but she was ready to come out on the other side of it, strong and sure.

Different didn't have to be bad, she decided. Sometimes, different can be a good thing.

So, instead of lazing around all day until someone had to drag her from her apartment by her hair, she got up willingly, dressed in her new red knee-length jacket and black boots, curled her hair, and set out for coffee at Lucky Leons.

The streets were packed with last-minute shoppers, desperate to get into department stores before they closed early for the holidays. She parked her car way down the road, by the little sewing joint that Aria used to spend countless hours in. she got out of her car and began walking down the snow-dusted sidewalk towards the coffee shop.

She passed Nordstroms, Macy's, Saks, and a few boutiques, casually peering into each display window. A few times, a cute top or a fun pair of boots caught her eye, but she kept her pace, her heels clicking merrily against the pavement.

She liked the peace. The casual pace of the morning – the busy shoppers, the falling snow, the abundance of holiday décor…

The whole thing was calming for Hanna.

As she passed in front of The Guru, a hole-in-the-wall bakery that she used to favor in high school, her gaze nonchalantly straying into the window, wondering what frosted delights were set in front of the window to taunt her. The Guru had been known for their "fairy cakes" – buttercream vanilla cupcakes with a mountain of dense, colorful icing, and glittery sprinkles adorning the top – which had been, unfortunately, Hanna's weakness during her chubby stage as a pre-teen.

The memories made Hanna smile a bit, thinking about how far she had come from that point.

Suddenly, as her gaze raked past the lovely treats in the window, she spotted a familiar face, sitting at one of the tables inside. She halted to a stop, unable to tear her gaze from the window.

There he was. Sitting there, reading a book, as if nothing had changed.

Caleb.

Had he…had he not left yet? Was he still in Rosewood? For good? Why wasn't he in Montecito – if not permanently, then with his mom for the holidays?

Had he ever left to begin with?

Had he thought of her at all?

Is that why he was still there?

His eyes casually flickered up from the page of his book, and caught hers through the window. They just looked at ear other for a moment, neither of them moving a muscle. The cold from the morning air nipped at the tip of Hanna's nose.

Gently, the side of Hanna's mouth quirked up into a smile. Caleb smiled back – in that crooked grin that she knew too well.

Should she keep walking? Turn away like he had with her?

No. That would be prideful, wouldn't it?

But on the other hand…she had come so far. She had learned so much about herself. Gained so much strength.

Could she really go back to being so dependent on another person?

But Caleb…he hadn't made her weak. Just the opposite.

But she had to learn to be strong without him, right?

Right?

No, she thought, that has nothing to do with it, does it?

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

And, as her own person, Hanna took a deep breath, reached for the door handle, and walked inside.

**hey guys! yes - im alive! lol soooo sorry about not updating until today - my dad pulled a surprise weekend vacay and the place didnt have internet so i had to use my dad's ipad and i couldnt get this ch online b/c it was on my laptop yada yada yada**

**thanks so much for your lovely reviews! what do you guys think of the return of caleb? will it last? **

**keep the reviews coming! **

**-AJ**


	31. The Ice Kept Getting Thinner

Chapter 29:

The Ice Kept Getting Thinner

"Are you sure I can't buy you something? A coffee? One of the muffins they have up there…?" Caleb asked for probably the thirteenth time since Hanna had first sat down in the vacant chair beside him.

She smiled and shook her head, "Nah, I'm good." She replied, pushing a lock of hair out of her face.

It was oddly calming talking to him, Hanna decided. Like nothing had happened between them in the first place. Nothing…yet everything.

"I heard that Spencer fell into some trouble. Is she alright?" Caleb asked, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

Hanna nodded, closing her eyes tight to block out the memory that threatened to return to her mind. "Yeah. She's better. She had some stitches, but she's back to perfect health again."

"That's good." Caleb answered, a gentle smile on his face.

He looked good, Hanna thought. Happy.

Like he had grown up a couple decades in a few short weeks.

Had Hanna grown at all? Was she still that same girl to him?

Of course she was. She always would be. No matter how old she got, how much she worked to change herself, when it came back down to Caleb…she would always be that fashion-conscious blonde girl who talked about Justin Bieber that one day in detention when they had their first real conversation.

She looked up from her lap and met his gaze, and suddenly their superficial conversation melted away, like the icy snow outside. She peered into his soft brown eyes, their unguarded gaze, and it felt as though the last few months hadn't even happened. Like they were back to their old high school selves, breaking into phones and being promiscuous in Spencer's lake house…

The memories returned to Hanna like whiplash, burning behind her eyes and threatening to pull her down under.

She cleared her throat, shaking her head and blinking a few times to bring herself back to into the moment. "You know, word on the street is that she's going to pop the question to Toby on New Years." She said with a coy smile.

Caleb burst into a fit of laughter, "What? She's proposing to him?" He asked, clearly having a field day with the idea, "Oh God, I should just go over and take his man card right now…"

"What?! I think it's sweet!" Hanna said, playfully smacking his shoulder, "And very Spencer-esque! She's always wanted to one-up him on the romance; now, she can."

"Yeah, but isn't a proposal like the last romantic thing that a guy gets to do before they're of equal partnership?" Caleb asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"I guess." Hanna shrugged. "But it's what Spencer wants to do."

"No…something tells me that _you_ had something to do with this, Hanna Marin. This has you written all over it."

"Well…maybe I started the idea, but Spencer loved it anyway!" She insisted, wagging her finger at him in order to prove her point.

Caleb laughed again, "I guess some things never change." He said softly. His voice trailed off and he got a meaningful look in his eyes, followed by a soft smile, as if a memory had distracted him for a moment. When he looked up at her again, she smiled back, and then peered out the window.

"So…how have you been?" She asked him casually, as if the question wasn't killing her to ask it.

"Fine." Caleb replied carefully, turning his empty coffee up around in his hands.

"I'm uh…" She cleared her throat, "Kind of surprised to see you back here in Rosewood."

"Hanna, I'm not leaving just yet." He answered, catching her drift.

"Oh." She said, her eyes still not moving from the window. She feared that if she looked back at him, her wall of strength would crumble to bits and she'd break down on her knees and beg him to stay. "When are you leaving, then?"

"Some time after the new year." He shrugged, as if the answer wasn't the last thing she wanted to hear, "The semester doesn't start up until mid January. So I still have time to pack up my stuff."

"But you're transferred already?" The question came out blunter than Hanna intended.

Caleb was silent for a moment and then nodded. "Yeah. All the paperwork is filled out."

His words made the lump in her throat freeze. She cleared the throat, attempting to even her voice. "I see. Well…I'm happy for you." She said finally, gathering the strength to look him in the eye. He was quiet for a moment, and his eyes narrowed as they searched hers, seeking for answers behind her words. She stood her ground, and when he could find none, he finally replied.

"Thanks." He said evenly. "That means a lot…coming from you."

She nodded, her face still a mask of cool, calm, effort. "You're welcome. It'll be…nice for you to see your mom again. And see her more often."

"Yeah." Caleb replied.

Suddenly, Hanna felt as though she was back in her foyer, in the doorway of her house, shedding a few tears as Caleb said his goodbyes for the first time to her, just before leaving to visit his mother in Montecito. They had both been so young then…

_"I have one very good reason to come back…You."_

The memory rushed back to Hanna at full speed, and she was powerless to stop it. She looked away in an attempt to control the tears that she knew were coming on. She faked an eyelash in her eye and began to scrub at her face, desperate the hide what she knew was coming.

"Uhm, yeah. Yeah, so did you get your mom anything fun for Christmas?" She asked lamely, frantic to keep up conversation and push the bad thoughts away.

_Get it together, Hanna,_ she scolded herself, _What happened to being strong? You have Will now. Why are you freaking out like this?_

But of course she knew the reason. It didn't matter how strong she was. Or how weak she could get. No matter what happened, some things would never change.

He would always be her weakness.

Caleb seemed disappointed that she had said something – or maybe just that she had said something that lacked importance – but he answered, "Yeah, I'd been saving up for that Tiffany necklace for her, remember?"

"Oh yeah, of course." Hanna shook her head. "Are you going to give it to her when you get there?" She asked.

"Just stop it, Hanna." He said softly, under his breath.

"Stop what?" She asked.

"Pretending like everything that happened between us never happened at all."

She looked up at him and he stared straight into her eyes, not once breaking concentration.

"It's real." He went on slowly. "It happened. You don't have to avoid it and pretend it doesn't exist."

He was right. It did exist. It condensed the air around them and threatened the crush them under its weight.

She looked at him for a moment longer, wondering what she could say. What would be the _right_ thing to say. The old Hanna would have rolled her eyes, snorted, and pulled out some snappy line about how it was his fault that they were this messed up to begin with.

But she was not the old Hanna. And he clearly wasn't the old Caleb.

"I'll see you around, Caleb." She said finally, offering a tight smile and shouldering her bag. She got up and walked stiffly towards the door, feeling his eyes burn holes into her back. But she kept her posture and her pace, moving for the exit. Pushing the door open, she made her way down the street, back towards to the curb where her car was parked. When she opened the door, she got inside, and set her purse on the passenger's seat. Letting her forehead fall against the steering wheel, Hanna let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding and began to cry.

* * *

><p>"Whoa, stick those karats in your soup, Mrs. Smith!" Aria exclaimed, fanning herself with her hand as if the very existence of Spencer's engagement ring was too hot to handle.<p>

Spencer laughed and pulled her hand back, holding up her ringed finger into the light. "It does sort of have a twinkle to it, doesn't it?" She replied, basking in the glory of it.

Emily wolf-whistled, "That is one big rock you got there, Spence." She marveled.

Spencer turned towards her, "Well, I'm shocked that it surprises you – after all, you have known about this for God knows how long…"

"Hey, I knew that Toby was planning to pop the question! If you had done it first, it would have messed up the whole traditional mumbo-jumbo!" Emily defended herself. Next to her, Samara giggled and took another sip of her mocha. Spencer noticed that Emily was sporting the beanie that Samara had given her for the holidays.

"Oh, and I'm sure you're the one who convinced him not to take the job interview too?" Spencer replied snidely, only half-joking.

"What?" Toby asked, incredulous, "You knew about that?"

"Oopsies." Spencer sat back in her chair and busily applied herself to her coffee.

The two of them had met up with Emily, Samara, and Aria over coffee that morning. Thankfully, their local coffee shop stayed open during the mornings of holidays, having the full knowledge that the caffeine-dependent college students of Rosewood would be more than willing to pay for their products.

Sadly, Ezra had been roped into having breakfast with his brother, Wes, who had come to town for the sole purpose of getting away from Diane Fitzgerald – their crazy mother. So, Aria had quickly made arrangements to meet them.

Hanna, on the other hand, had sent a quick, short text to the group, informing them that a prior engagement had reared its ugly head and she was unable to attend. Spencer had made a mental note to speak to her about it later.

"How did you find out?" Toby pushed further.

"Gee, is that a new head-scarf, Aria…?"

"Spencer." He said sternly.

"Your boss told me." She said finally, just to get him off her back.

"Well, you didn't think I was actually _taking_ it, did you?"

"Well, it was a great opportunity for you!"

"Why didn't you tell me you knew?"

"Because I didn't want to influence your decision!"

"Well, if you can't tell by now, the boy's head-over-heels in love with you, so it was really never a serious question about him leaving you or not." Aria intervened, clearly fed up with this conversation. "Now, please, can you both just smooch it up and act like the happy engaged couple you are? Because this is really dampening the 'love is eternal' thing you've got going here."

Toby chuckled and Spencer grinned, her nose crinkling as he pressed a quick kiss to her temple, his arm thrown loosely around her shoulders.

"Now tell me." Samara said seriously, "When's the big day?"

"Well, after Aria's of course. But we haven't exactly had time to piece together the details. I mean, just twelve hours ago, I was still a bachelorette."

"Uhm, I seem to recall you being in a completely monogamous relationship for the past four years…" Toby said, feigning confusion.

"Shut up, you know what I mean." Spencer said, playfully elbowing him in the ribs. He dropped another kiss on the side of her face, seemingly unable to stop himself from constantly touching her in some way.

Aria smiled and cocked her head to the side, "Aww, look at you two! You're like a married couple already!"

The five of them laughed and Emily held up her coffee cup, "I think that this calls for a toast."

"Naturally." Samara agreed, raising her cup as well.

Emily cleared her throat and faked seriousness as the other three held up their cups as well, "To Spencer and Toby – or as they are more affectionately called by some: "Spoby." May they have many happy, loving years ahead of them, starting with this wonderful engagement. Bring forth for them times of love and hope for the future. Help them continue to cherish each other and for us, as friends, to help them every step of the way."

Toby and Spencer looked at each other as Emily offered up her kind words, and Toby kissed the tip of Spencer's nose, causing her eyes to crinkle in a grin. When Emily finished, the five of them clanked their cups together, and Aria cried out in the midst of it, "To Spoby!"

* * *

><p>"You know I think that Romeo would have lived longer if he would have done some research on Juliet's supposed death. You know, rather than freaked the hell out immediately and hurried to Verona to off himself." Spencer observed, popping another piece of popcorn in her mouth.<p>

"What? Do I hear the infamous Spencer Hastings _criticizing _the famous works of Shakespeare?" Toby asked in faux surprise.

"Well, I'm just saying! He was kind of stupid for doing something like that."

"Didn't you always call it romantic…?"

"Well, yeah. But it doesn't mean that something that's romantic is always smart."

The two of them were cuddled together on Toby's sofa, their feet intertwined as they were propped up on the coffee table, watching the final scene of Leonardo DiCaprio's version of their favorite love story. As a holiday tradition, they would engage in some snappy wordplay and suchlike while watching it, before indulging in some classic Christmas movies, like _It's A Wonderful Life, _and _Annie._ Truthfully, it was Spencer's favorite part of the holiday. After saying countless holiday greetings to her friends and family, she finally got to crash with Toby on the couch. Have him all to herself…

Even more now that they were an engaged couple.

Spencer was mildly sad (read: jumping for absolute joy) that her parents were spending the holidays in Spencer's aunt's beach house on Nantucket, so they were therefore unable to receive the joyful news.

It wasn't that Spencer was _ashamed_ to marry Toby…it was just that she knew how sensitive her parents were to the idea of marriage at such a young age. After Melissa, who had gone out and eloped with a man who ended up dying a month after the ceremony, they got the dear-in-headlights look when anyone in the family even brought up the topic of marriage. She was still in the process of searching for a way to convey her feelings calmly to her parents: how much she wanted this. How much she knew that Toby was the one for her. How she didn't want to wait any longer to make it official.

She had gone to college. She had been exposed to other men, like her mother had encouraged her to. But all roads led back to who truly had her heart: Toby. Spencer knew that he always would. That he was her forever.

And honestly, she didn't even care how much she sounded like the moody, overly dramatic Bella Swan. She was ready to scream to the world her feelings. She wasn't afraid for people to know of their love.

Which is why she needed to find a way to come across to her parents in a mature, adult, less-desperate way.

Toby kissed the top of her head, "Eyes, look your last! Arms, take your last embrace! And, lips, O you the doors of breath, Seal with a righteous kiss." He quoted low in her ear in sync with Leo's solid lines. She giggled into the popcorn bowl.

"We're well on our way to being Romeo and Juliet, now that we've got the marriage part in motion…" She said.

"Well, let's hope we don't go all the way…" Toby said cautiously. "Because I can think of some great ways to be collapsed over you, but under the context of being dead isn't one of them."

Spencer laughed and elbowed him. "You know what I mean."

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Ah, right on schedule." Spencer checked her watch. Earlier, she had texted Melissa to stop by with Taylor and exchange holiday greetings. She disentangled herself from Toby and shuffled across the carpet in her slippers. Opening the door, she smiled, expecting to see her sister and her lovely niece waiting on the other side, wearing expressions of Christmas cheer. Instead, as she pulled the door away, she saw only Melissa standing there, illuminated by the ghostly light of the apartment hallway. She wore a grave expression on her face, and her arms were crossed tightly. Her eyebrows were knit, and she looked nearly desperate.

"Hey." Spencer said cautiously, her face contorting in suspicion.

"I have something to tell you." Melissa replied quickly, refusing to beat around the bush.

"I do too." Spencer answered, smiling once more.

"You first." Melissa said softly.

"No, you."

"We'll say it together."

"Alright, at the count of three." Spencer said, gleeful despite her sister's odd disposition. "One, two, three…" She counted off.

"I'm getting married!" She said, holding out her left hand to showcase the ring.

"Wren's gone." Melissa said coldly at the same time.

Realization slowly permeated Spencer's face, and her hand dropped back by her side. The two of them stared at each other for a long moment, and Spencer watched as a single tear dropped down her sister's face.

It was the first time she'd seen her cry over Wren since Spencer's junior year in high school.

And she feared that it wouldn't be the last.

**how do you guys feel about the haleb chit-chat? kinda icy, huh? ;) they'll get a whole lot of interaction in these future chapters, but Will is set to be returning to rosewood sooner than later... ;)**

**it looks like spoby is happy for now. but this is rosewood, after all... and who knows that better than us tormented spoby shippers?**

**keep the reviews coming! i love all of your lovely thoughts! if i can get over 295, ill update before the weekend ends! :)**

**live. love. spoby.**

**AJ ;)**


	32. Author's Note 2

**hey guys. AJ here,**

**so i've gotten a few complaints about the fact that i write too much about hanna. i'll start writing less about her, but i feel like its easier for me to write about another character too, b/c writing about spoby all the time is really painful for me. its just kind of hard with everything going on with the REAL spoby. **

**but if you guys dont like that i write about hanna, i'll stop. spoby is going to get more interesting soon, but i wanted to give them a chance to be happy. im not saying im going to make them fight, but the story does need some interesting twists to it. i think that the reason that im writing about hanna more is b/c i wanted to push the twists off towards her. that way, they wont have to all focus on spoby. too many twists with spoby = too much drama. and the real spoby already has enough drama to last two lifetimes.**

**idk. im just trying to lessen the pain, you know?**

**sorry about that. i hope i wasnt boring you guys by writing about hanna.**

**-AJ**


	33. Aren't We Just Terrified?

Chapter 30:

Aren't We Just Terrified?

"You're staring at me, you know." Spencer said with a soft smile, her eyes still closed.

She expected Toby to reply, but he stayed silent and kept tracing soft patterns along her bare back, where the scar tissue was the worst. Ever since her incident in the alleyway, Toby had been fascinated (read: extremely obsessed) with every part of her body that bore some kind of scar. She'd catch him staring intently at the white jagged lines beneath her ear, where they disappeared into her hair. Whenever she got dressed in the morning, he was always at her back, his hands gently touching the ghost of a wound that had once been present on her shoulder.

Now, as she lay sprawled across his bare chest, he continued to idly trace her scars.

"They don't hurt anymore, you know." She informed him, her eyes still closed. "All they are is tissue now."

"It's the memories that hurt, Spence." He said softly, his voice gravelly from the morning.

"I've moved on. It's Jenna's problem now. And I don't have to worry about it anymore."

"I just hate the thought of anyone doing that to you." He whispered. His voice was barely audible over the sound of the breeze pouring in from the open window, jangling the curtains. "Anyone touching you like that…"

"It's nothing, Toby." Spencer said hastily, shaking her head. She finally opened her eyes and propped herself up on her elbows against his chest, looking him in the eye, "They were drunk. It's nothing but the past now."

"But these are forever." He continued gently, running his fingertips along the scars across her back. His touch trailed upward over her shoulder blade, and then his hand found its way to the hollow beneath her ear, where the scars were the most gathered.

She giggled, "That tickles!" She complained.

He finally smiled, chuckling a bit. Pulling her into him, he buried his face into her shoulder and she ran a hand through his hair, breathing him in.

Four days had passed since the holidays – and Melissa's shocking reveal that shook their worlds once again – and Spencer was still trying to adjust to the idea of her sister and Taylor alone in that house.

Wren hadn't called.

Hadn't turned up on their doorstep.

Hadn't even bothered to say goodbye.

The thought shook Spencer to her core. It wasn't like it was a shock – Lord knows that Melissa and Wren's relationship had been anything but smooth sailing – but she never exactly pictured the idea of them _not_ being together. All of the fighting, the alienation, the problems…all of it was _familiar._

Now Wren was gone, Melissa was pregnant with a secret love child, Taylor was stuck in the middle, and nothing made sense anymore.

In the midst of all of the crazy, her sister's doomed relationship was paradoxically the only thing solid for her.

Toby obviously felt her body tense, and he pulled back to look at her face. His eyebrows furrowed as he pushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "What? Are you remembering it?" He asked softly, his thumb lightly stroking along the same scar beneath her ear.

She shook her head. "No." She said. "I'm just thinking about Wren and Melissa in this whole mess of things."

"I know." Toby replied with empathy. "It sucks. It really does. But…you knew it was headed there anyway, right?"

"Yeah but…wasn't that what made it work out to begin with? The fact that they would stay together just in spite of everyone's doubts?"

"Spencer. What is this really about?"

"Everything's changing now, Toby! Everything I thought I could rely on is falling apart. My brother and I have barely spoken since he let Jenna move in, I almost got killed in an alleyway by some drunk men who thought that I was your step-sister," Toby flinched at her words, but she pressed on, "And now this? What can I rely on anymore, Toby? Nothing's solid."

The side of his mouth quirked up into an understanding, bitter half-smile. He gently picked up her hand where it lay on his chest and held it up to his face. "This is." He told her, nodding towards the ring that crowned her finger.

A sad, sweet smile graced her face, "I know. You're right." She said. He brought her closer again and rubbed his nose back and forth against hers – a sweet sign of devotion that they had done since they were teenagers. She sighed and pressed her face against his neck, hoping that the essence of his warm skin would drown out the thoughts in her head. He responded by wrapping his arms tighter around her, incasing her in his soft heat. But close was never close enough for Spencer at times like these. She wanted him nearer, closer. She wanted him under her skin, where he could never get away.

Pulling back, she pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, sighing as his breath warmed her face. He reciprocated the action by sliding his hands into her hair and tilting his head gently, deepening their contact. She let out a soft, breathy sound as he kissed her again, his lips working gently against hers.

"Mm." She drew away as the alarm on his side table blared, "I have to meet Aria. We're doing the final preparations on her bachelorette party." She reached across him and hit the SNOOZE button.

"Skip it. Tell her you had other plans." Toby continued to run his fingers through her hair, and let his lips linger on her skin, traveling down her throat.

"Like what?" Spencer snorted.

"Like you got stuck in jury duty or something."

"Well the verdict's up Romeo – Aria's getting married in less that five months."

"That's like _five_ months from now."

"Precisely." Spencer agreed, choosing not to accept his bait, "Which is why I have to get going." She said with a smile, still trying to extract herself from his grip.

"Someone else is going to be married in a few months' time…Juliet, I think her name is…" Toby said in faux concentration while his mouth idly worshipped her bare shoulder. His grip tightened on her waist, making it impossible for her to wriggle away.

"Oh, is that so?" Spencer said, unable to stop herself from playing along.

"Yes, indeed." Toby confirmed as he ran the tip of his nose along her collarbone, "I hear she's quite the catch. Men in Rosewood line up around the block just to hear her say their names. But as a sucker for a romantic love story, she picked the misunderstood boy-next-door."

"Well hey now, you have to give the boy-next-door some credit." Spencer continued, "I mean, he was put through hell and back but was still able to achieve what he wanted to in life; he was driven. And had a heart of gold."

Toby chuckled against her skin, "Yes, I think they call him...Romeo, was it?"

"I believe it was." Spencer nodded. "Of course, you would always hear the petty girls up and down the halls of the high school, gossiping and whispering about how sure they were that his abs were insured for ten thousand dollars…"

This made Toby laugh again, "Well, it's no wonder why the boy fell for the girl – after all, if the doe eyes didn't have him at first glance, the sarcasm was too cute to pass up."

"Maybe it was his lips that sealed the deal for her…" She giggled in regards to the kisses he was now pressing beneath her earlobe, "Or maybe the eyes – I hear they're bluer than the Caspian Sea."

"Are they now?"

"Indeed they are."

"I've heard the girl is rather clever," He replied, "It doesn't seem likely that she would fall for this – Romeo, is it? – based on such shallow credentials."

"Oh no, certainly not." Spencer agreed, "It wasn't his eyes that made her fall. Or the way he liked to kiss in the rain, and sleep late in the mornings. Or how he would always smell a bit like sawdust from his work. Or even how he liked to whistle songs from the fifties on occasion, and play the guitar more than necessary." She grinned coyly and he pulled back. He was in a semi-upward position, and she was straddling his hips, gripping the hair at the back of his head to peer into those infamous blue eyes, "I bet it was his love that really brought her in."

Toby smiled – that genuine smile that she knew too well – and kissed her forehead. Before she could even offer up a grin at the sweet gesture, he suddenly moved and flipped her onto her back, pinning her to the mattress beneath her. She let out an exasperated laugh as his lips found hers.

"You are _so_ going to be late for coffee…"

* * *

><p>"I think it's time I took you on a date." Will told Hanna, and she furrowed her eyebrows, looking up from the page of her magazine.<p>

"What?" She asked.

"You know, a date. Like two people go out together…go to dinner, see a movie? It's quite a common custom in today's day and age."

"Oh, is it now?" Hanna replied sarcastically, just for the fun of it.

She and Will had selected a secluded spot of the Apple Rose Grille to have lunch, and the two of them had been nothing but smiles all morning. An hour after she woke up, Will had texted her and asked her to meet him in front of Lucky Leon's for coffee, and the rest just…well, went from there.

After her holiday encounter with Caleb, it was nice for Hanna to have Will back in town to be with her. Everything was just so…_calm_ with Will. Nothing was rushed. Nothing was hurried. Everything was at ease.

It wasn't…so _desperate_.

She debated whether or not she would tell Will about her run in with Caleb, but ultimately decided against it. Will already knew about her past relationship with Caleb – she had told him a few days previous to their first kiss on the stairwell of her apartment – but as far as he knew, Caleb was long gone, in her rearview mirror, and she was working hard to get over him.

Psh. Nope. Caleb was still very well in the passenger's seat of the car, giving her ideas and influencing her decisions on which roads to take. And then there was Will, in her backseat, encouraging her to take whatever route felt right for her.

It was all so confusing Hanna thought her brain would explode.

"Haven't we already been on one of those?" She asked skeptically. "Like, multiple times?"

"I disagree." Will shook his head, "We've hung out. We've met up for coffee. But we've never actually done the traditional 'I-pick-you-up-and-take-you-out-for-a-nice-dinner-or-movie' kind of thing."

"Oh. I guess we haven't." She absently fingered the necklace he had given her – something she hadn't taken off since she had first put it on.

Hanna didn't want to mention the fact that she wasn't exactly hot on the idea of a date. Not that she didn't like Will, it was just…

Caleb.

Always Caleb.

Everything just led up to Caleb.

She hadn't been on a proper date since Caleb. And if she did, in fact, go through with the date with Will, she would be forced to acknowledge her relationship with Caleb as history, a thing of the past, something that no longer mattered.

And she wasn't sure if she could bring herself to do so.

But Will just kept on smiling at her with that crooked Andrew-Garfield grin and she melted. All of his intentions were nothing but kind and respectful. Why should she pass that up?

So, she smiled back and nodded. "How does New Years' sound? Dinner before heading to Aria and Ezra's to watch the ball drop?"

"Sounds great." He replied, his grin widening. "I'll pick you up at six?"

"It's a date."

* * *

><p>"So, the infamous Spencer Hastings has finally come to accept the ultimate romantic gesture." Aria proclaimed as she set down her fifth wedding magazine on the table. "Well, it's about-freaking-time."<p>

Ezra chuckled behind her and approached her from the kitchen. Bracing his hands on each side of the table in front of her, he dropped a kiss on the top of her head. She was seated at the kitchen table, buried in a sea of magazines and wedding plans – mostly her own, but here and there a few drabbles of ideas for the 'Spoby' wedding – a few days after Christmas.

"Well, wasn't Spencer the one who always read those romantic novels in high school?" He asked.

"No, Ezra. That was me."

"Oh." He laughed again and she could feel his breath on her ear behind her as he gently nuzzled her hair. "I guess I was too distracted by your face to notice what you were reading in class…"

Aria giggled. While it had been a more-than-stressful time in high school playing emotional ping-pong and keeping her relationship with Ezra secret, she quite enjoyed looking back on the memories. Now that she was on the other side of it all, she could look back and remember it fondly.

"Well, I wasn't sure I ever even read in your class…" She replied, "After all, who could concentrate on schoolwork when they have your beautiful eyes distracting them so…?"

They both laughed and Ezra pulled out the seat beside her, sitting down. "Alright, you." He said, gently ruffling her hair, "What are we focusing on with the wedding as of now?"

"Bachelorette party." She answered, holding up a few brochures – one for Vegas, one for a day spa in Huntington Beach, and one for Florida.

"Ooh." He plucked them out of her hand and started flipping through them, "Should I be worried about this event? I mean, there won't be any male strippers there, right? Because, I mean, I've seen _The Proposal_ and…"

"No!" Aria burst into a fit of laughter, taking back the brochures, "Just a couple of girlfriends hanging out!"

"Well, if Hanna has anything to do with it…"

"She won't." Aria promised, still giggling, "Spencer and I have this covered. And plus, I thought that Toby, Harvey, and Jason were going to take you out for _your_ bachelor party soon!"

"There are." He said, "But you have nothing to worry about."

"Oh, and why is that?" She asked with a smile, leaning closer.

"Because I won't be able to concentrate on _anything_ – much less another women – knowing that I'll be marrying you in such a short time."

Aria smiled, "Well, you _are_ pretty lucky…" She said in faux-understanding.

Ezra laughed and slipped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her playfully into him and pressing a kiss to her cheek.

* * *

><p>"Wow. Look at you, all grown up." Jason's smile lit his face and Spencer grinned back.<p>

She laughed and looked back down at her hand, which was spread out in front of her brother for him to gaze at her ring.

"Yeah, look at me, all grown up." She echoed.

She had met Jason at his house later that evening, and promptly told him the exciting news. As the exceptional brother he was, Jason expressed his congratulations and pulled her in for a tight hug. The two now sat out on the upstairs balcony that hung off the back of the house, overlooking the backyard and the entire rest of the neighborhood. Jason had made them both a fresh mug of coffee, and they just sat there, on the wicker chairs, listening to the sounds of the city. They didn't need to speak much; they were too alike to do anything else.

"It's funny, isn't it?" She asked, "How everything seems to change in Rosewood and yet…most things just…stay the same?" She took a sip of her coffee.

Jason nodded, "Yeah. This town will always be the same. We try to change ourselves but…we're always who we are. Deep down inside, we know that."

"Have you talked to Jenna?" She asked absently.

He shook his head. "Not since she decided not to allow visitors anymore."

Spencer debated telling him the truth about the incident. How it had nothing to do with Garrett and that her mugging in the alleyway was not by a coincidence. She decided against it, knowing that, while Jenna deserved everything she got, she didn't need someone else knowing about the most shameful thing she'd ever done.

_Psh_. Spencer thought, _Haven't I come a long way?_

"Have you?" He inquired.

"Hm? Oh, no. Not really. Like you said…she doesn't want visitors anymore." She lied. Jenna was probably too mortified to even face Jason. Jason, who had welcomed her in when no one else would.

When Spencer herself had turned her away…

She cleared her throat and looked over at him, "You know, I hear that CeCe is in town for the holidays."

This made Jason laugh, "And?"

"…And, I thought you told me last year that you two were friends again."

"Friends is a very loose concept, Spence. We're amiable; not compatible. We're too destructive together."

Spencer nodded. She completely understood. Too much fire in one relationship led to quite a sizzling burn.

She could almost smell the ash, the cinders and flames, burning it away.

Wait…_could_ she actually smell it?

Furrowing her eyebrows, Spencer sat up at looked around the horizon for any signs of smoke. She sniffed again. Yes, that was _definitely_ smoke that she smelled.

"Do you smell that?" She asked Jason.

"Smell what?"

"That…smoke. The ash."

Confused, Jason sat up, looking around, sniffing. "Yeah." He replied, "I think I do."

"Where's it coming from…?"

Suddenly, a harsh crackling sound made them turn hastily towards the sliding door behind them. Inside the house, behind the glass, they saw a large glow of orange and yellow. The glass of the sliding door and the windows of the master bedroom were getting fogged up with smoke.

Oh no. Oh, no no no no no.

"Shit." Jason cursed under his breath. He quickly got to his feet, and Spencer followed suit, stumbling backwards.

"Oh God." She gulped, "Jason, how did your house catch fire?!"

"I don't know!" He shouted back, and she could see in his eyes that he was struggling to find a way out.

"Call the fire department! Quick!"

"They won't get here quick enough before the house burns down." Jason replied bluntly, and she could hear the worry rattling his voice.

"Oh God…" She muttered, shaking. "How are we supposed to get off of the balcony?!"

Suddenly, the fire leered closer, and the second master bedroom window burst, showering shards of glass across the balcony. Spencer squealed and she and Jason stooped and covered their heads with their arms as they were pelted with pieces of shattered glass.

Jason was swiftly at her side, his arms wound around her waist, dragging her towards the side of the balcony, closer to the railing.

"We have to jump." He said quickly, his voice determined, yet apprehensive.

"What?!" She replied in disbelief, "It's at least twenty feet high!"

"We have to. Or else the fire will disconnect the balcony, and we'll be hurtled down with the rest of the house. This is the only way we can save ourselves before it collapses on us."

Spencer looked into Jason's eyes, seeing fear, determination, resolve, and concern all at once. She took a deep breath and nodded. She had to trust him.

"Alright." She replied. Jason went first, climbing up on the top of the railing and quickly jumping over the side, landing hard, yet smoothly on his feet. When he regained his composure, he hastily shouted up to her, "Okay, now you!" He called, "I'll catch you!"

She nodded, and took a deep breath, bracing her shaky, clammy hands on the railing. She hitched her leg over the side, preparing to balance herself on the edge. Suddenly, another window burst behind her. When she looked over her shoulder, her eyes went wide. The flames were rapidly eating away at the back of the house, along the walls and – before she could even scream – the balcony broke off the side.

"Jason!" She screamed, trying to jump before the balcony brought her down. But it was too late; with one leg already hitched over the railing, she was unable to jump in time. The balcony came crumbling down, hurtling towards the grass of the backyard. Jason made a run for it, trying to get out of the patch of the oncoming chunks of flaming wood.

Spencer had no choice but to hold onto the railing for dear life, and when she finally reached the ground, the impact of the fall sent her tumbling across the grass, which was quickly becoming ablaze with fire.

She groaned, rolling onto her side. Jason's voice sounded a million miles away as he shouted at her to get up and keep moving. When she didn't comply, she felt his arms beneath her, hauling her upwards and into his grasp. Suddenly, the world around her was spinning. Had she hit her head harder than she thought she had?

Jason carried her around the side of the house as quickly as he could, and when he reached the street out front – putting enough distance between themselves and the house – he set her on her feet. Dizzy, she stumbled back, and his hands gripped her shoulders to keep her upright.

When she had finally shaken off her vertigo enough to hold herself up, the two of them stood stoically in front of Jason's house at the flames slowly ate it away. They heard the fire trucks' sirens as they came hurrying down the street. Dozens of fire fighters buzzed around them like busy bees, working to put out the fire. All of Jason's neighbors evacuated their homes to come and watch and comfort them.

But neither of them moved. Neither of them said anything to each other or anyone else. Not even as they last pieces of Jason's home – his childhood place – crumbled to the ground among the ash and embers. They were silent through it all.

They were too alike to do anything else.

**thank you all for such positive reviews on my story. you guys really mean the world to me.**

**now, i tried to incorperate hanna/will/caleb into this story b/c of the overwhelming amount of requests i got to keep going with it. however, i tried to keep it as short as possible so there would be more time for spencer and toby's storyline. i got quite a few requests for ezria, so i decided to throw a smidgen of fluff into this ch ;) hope you liked!**

**if i can get to 310 reviews for this ch, i'll update by thursday ;) **

**-AJ**


	34. The Chaos Speaks the Loudest

Chapter 31:

The Chaos Speaks the Loudest

It was always coldest for Spencer after the storm blew over. When the worst of things finally decided that they'd shown themselves long enough and retreated back into the shadows, she was left with a frosty, arid feeling that shook her to the core.

Even with Toby's arms wrapped tight around her, in the midst of the chaos that made her world appear dizzy, she felt the chill. The rest of the world was fuzzy and grey, like an old 1960's picture show. Everyone who spoke sounded like they were speaking through a pillow.

The process of events and how they had played out was even hazy for her. She remembered seeing Toby's truck out of the corner of her eye, as it skidded to a halt before the burning pile of ash that was once Jason's safe haven. She recalled hearing him get out of the car as fast as he could and hurry over to her, coming to a stop in front of her, and shaking her shoulders. The worried look in his eyes would have normally made her furrow her eyebrows in concern, but she could barely move as it was.

Sensing her stationary state, he quickly slipped his jacket from his shoulders and wrapped it around her before pulling her into his arms, holding her tight but giving her room to breathe. He knew her like a book; could read her like tealeaves. He could sense when she needed to be left alone, when she needed to talk, and when she just needed someone to hold her while she processed a situation.

She wondered what she would do without him.

Looking over at Jason, who stood beside her, just as unmoving and immobile as she was, she reached out and let her hand find his. When he wrapped his fingers around hers, the three stood still on the gravel, silhouetted by the pale glow of the dwindling flames, while the world around them erupted in chaos.

* * *

><p>Emily hadn't been in her old room for quite some time. Usually, when she came home for the holidays, she spent the night at Hanna's apartment, or at Aria's place – before she and Fitz became engaged.<p>

So it was shocking to her how familiar it felt when she walked through the doorway and entered it.

Her bed was the same. Her curtains were the same. Even her desk was the same. The pictures, the papers, the books. All of it was familiar.

Calming.

Even if it did behold some of her darkest secrets. Her most sinister times.

And yet, she almost felt…unwelcome as she cautiously took a step inside. She nearly expected to see her old self, a little high schooler at the time, sitting at her desk and turn around and ask what she was doing here.

It made her smile when she thought of it.

The night had started off simple enough. She was supposed to meet Samara for dessert at the local Pinkberry, but next thing she knew…she was making the turn onto her street and parking in front of her parents' house. They were out for the night, and Emily had remembered where her mother always kept the spare key beneath the mat.

Now, she stood in the middle of her old room, which had cardboard boxes of swim trophies, piles of childhood artwork, and her high school diploma strewn across the dusty bedcover. She ran her hand along the rail that stretched along the footboard of the bed, recalling how it had constantly been the hanger for her damp swim caps, her jean skirts, her jogging suits…

Time had been kind to Emily. It had guided her in moving on from all of her losses.

She remembered what Samara had told her when she called her up during their junior year of high school. It had surprised her that she had called at all, seeing that they hadn't spoken a word to one another since their breakup. But when Emily picked up the phone, she was overjoyed to hear Samara's voice. She closed her eyes, recalling the conversation…

_"I heard about Maya. I just wanted to call and pay my sincere regards for her passing." Emily remembered how kind and truthful she had sounded, "And I'm sorry…that you've lost so many people."_

It had taken Emily everything she had not to break down and cry at that moment. She remembered how when she'd hung up with Samara, she'd collapsed under her bedcovers and sobbed until her throat hurt.

Now, she let her fingers slide along the cold pillowcases that had once been warmed with her tears. She smiled sadly at the memories.

Turning, her eyes fell upon something that sparked a long stream of heated memories within her mind: the picture of her and Maya, settled on her dresser.

It was one of the only things she had left behind when she had moved out for CalPoly. She thought that looking at it everyday…it would only bring back the pain over and over. When she went to CalPoly, she had been seeking a fresh start. Away from Rosewood, where the old memories couldn't reach her.

But you can never escape Rosewood. No matter how hard you try.

She offered up an almost sad smile as she picked up the picture frame, running her fingers over the surface of the glass, where Maya's face was. Of course now, that face was buried beneath layer upon layer of dirt and worms and other earthly things, beside yet another one of her loves that had left this world. Of course, her spiritual side was far away from here, up there in Heaven, likely smiling down on Emily at that moment.

It was almost as if she could actually hear Maya's spunky, sing-songy voice behind her as a recollection filled her mind.

_"Smile for the camera!"_

_ "Maya! Stop! You're making me laugh!"_

_ "Good, then it's working!"_

Emily smiled as she set the picture frame back down on the dresser.

Would Maya ever really be gone from her life? No. Of course not. It was silly to believe that she would.

But Maya had taught her something. She had taught her that life was about being spontaneous, and doing the things that you love, and being with the people that you love, even if it puts you through hell.

It helped Emily move on. It took her nearly a year after Maya's death to open her eyes clearly, but she saw it. She knew that Maya wouldn't have wanted her to waste her life away pining for someone that couldn't be saved. Someone who was part of her past, who lived in her memory. That love would be enough to carry her through the dark spots.

Emily had grown so much since then. College, Paige, Samara, and every other part of her life had helped her become who she was now: Emily Fields, strong and independent. Compassionate and loving. The girl next door that liked the feel of sand between her toes, always bore goggle marks on her eyes, and had a heart of gold.

And as Emily took one last look around her bedroom, soaking in the last of the sweet, adolescent memories, she thought of all the times she had been kicked to the curb and had had enough strength to get up again. She gave a soft grin and headed out into the hall, closing the door behind her.

Maya would have been proud.

* * *

><p>"Do you need anything else?" Aria asked worriedly, in her best mom voice. "Coffee? Food? There's leftover chocolate cake that Ezra's brother brought over in the kitchen…"<p>

Jason chuckled. "Really, Aria. I'm fine. The water is enough." He held up the plastic blue cup she'd given him.

"Are you sure?" She replied, her hand moving feverishly across his forehead, checking for a temperature.

"Aria, I'm not _sick_. It was just a fire."

But Aria wasn't convinced. Her eyebrows still furrowed in concern, and she continued to study his face. "Alright." She said finally, nevertheless.

Taking her seat on the armchair next to his, her eyes fell into her lap.

"Thanks for uhm, letting me stay here for the night." He said, staring down at the cup in his hands.

Aria nodded. "It's really no trouble at all; Ezra's out of town for the night, presenting a paper at a conference."

"Really, I can stay at Spencer and Toby's if you want…"

"No, no, no, really. It's more than fine. I talked to Toby and we both decided that it would be better for Spencer to be alone with him for the night. She's gone through too many shocks lately to be emotionally stable. And plus," Aria rocked back and forth in her seat, "I like that you're here; I get lonely on the nights that Ezra leaves."

"Uh oh. Trouble in paradise?"

"No, no. That's not it at all. He's just gone sometimes and I forget that…I used to have a life without him." She snorted, "But it'll be better, once we're married."

Jason nodded. "When is that, exactly?"

"May. The invitations go out next week."

"Is Spencer still ever-so-involved with the planning?"

"Well, I want it to be perfect, don't I?"

Jason chuckled, "Well, then I guess it makes sense then."

Aria laughed and then turned serious once more, licking her lips, "Jason, what happened tonight?"

Jason's eyes turned away from her, his gaze cast downward.

"Jason…?"

"I don't know." Jason shrugged.

"Well, do you have any idea what might've happened? Do you know of anyone who would want to do that? Did you leave the oven on…?"

A guilty expression washed over Jason's face and Aria's eyes went wide, "Oh, God, Jason, what did you do?"

"I might have…not exactly put out a joint completely. And threw it in the trash can next to the drapes."

"You were…you were smoking again? I thought you'd been clean since high school!" Aria burst out, incredulous.

"I was!" Jason replied, "For a while. But then the night that Jenna moved in…we were talking about how much life sucked for the two of us at the time…how neither of us felt like there was a soul in the world that truly loved us…and one thing led to another…and it started from there…"

"Why were you getting stoned with Jenna?" Aria asked, "How did you even know where to go to get the stuff? What, did you hit up some thrashed high-school kid selling marijuana on the street?"

"Aria – "

"Oh, or maybe you were even classier about it – maybe Jenna seduced a him into giving it to you for free – "

"Aria!"

"I thought you were better than that, Jason!" She was shouting now, jumping to her feet and leering over him, "You better take a good hard look in the mirror, Jason, because that high school kid who wastes his life away getting high and forgetting about the life he once had? That's you, Jason. You haven't grown up at all! I trusted that you were a changed man! Someone worthy to call Spencer Hastings' brother!"

"I am! Damn it, I am!" Jason yelled back, standing up as well. Once his breathing slowed, he spoke more evenly. "It doesn't mean I'm not human, Aria. It doesn't mean that I don't still get lonely."

"There are other ways, Jason." Aria answered, her voice softer now. Her arms were crossed tight across her chest.

"I'm figuring it out…"

"Well, it's a little late for that, isn't it?" Aria replied bitterly.

He shook his head, and Aria could see the shame in his eyes.

"You can't tell Spencer. Please. It'll ruin her." Jason pleaded, "I don't want to be just another one of the people that let her down."

Aria licked her lips, "Are you asking me to lie to her?"

"It's for her own good."

Aria heaved in a deep breath and looked away, trying to hold herself together. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to shield herself from the drafty apartment air. But the chill was still there, shaking her inside, turning her to stone.

They two of them stood there, speechless, peering into the bright licks of the fire that burned away in the fireplace, in an even bigger mess than the one they had started with.

* * *

><p>"Spencer, say something."<p>

Silence.

"Spencer, come on, you have to talk about this."

More silence.

"Spencer, I swear to God, if you don't speak a word in the next five seconds, I'm going to tickle you until you scream for mercy."

"Won't make any difference." Spencer replied stoically. "I still don't wanna talk about it."

"Don't keep it bottled up; it's not good for you. It's like that poem you were talking about – 'A Poison Tree?'"

"Well, maybe this time the foe was what almost killed _me_." Spencer sighed.

Still kneeling before her, Toby shook his head. Spencer was curled up in the rocking chair they had had since high school – when Toby had hand-crafted it for her during the months they spent apart – and Toby was in front of her, his hand over hers, which was in her lap, desperate to break her unmoving face.

"Spence…"

"Should I just be scared all the time anymore, Toby?" She asked, shaking her head slowly, "Just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time?"

"I…"

"And it wasn't even just that." She went on, her gaze still boring holes into the wall. "It wasn't just any fire. That was Jason's _home_. _Ali's_ home. The last piece we had left of the old Rosewood. This morning…I was talking about everything changing. And that…that was the final straw. That just proved that nothing is going to stay permanent. No matter how hard you try, life is just going to keep screwing you over."

"Spencer…" Toby sighed. "Don't think like that. You always say that we make our own choices."

"Well I didn't exactly think about fate so much until this year; when things started to go wrong." She said softly. "Maybe I was wrong about life."

"Oh, Spence…"

"Make love to me, Toby." She said, her voice listless, "Remind me what it feels like to be human."

Toby offered up a sad half smile and leaned in to kiss her forehead. "Not tonight. It would be too similar to taking advantage of you."

"Hm, even when I'm practically offering it to you on a silver platter?"

"Yes. Even then." Toby replied with a gentle grin. "If I'm going to be Romeo, I have to do it right." He got to his feet and then stooped down to scoop her up into his arms. Normally, she would have protested and told him that she could 'walk to her room herself, thank you very much.' But she was tired tonight. And honestly…she needed him. Just to be there for her. Just to pet her hair and hold her while she fell asleep.

"Mm…" She made a soft, sleepy noise in the back of her throat, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Shh, you can sleep." Toby replied, and she could feel the motion of him walking slowly back to their bedroom, "Let the angels find you in your dreams, Juliet."

**sooo sorry for the late update! i had SOOO much hw and surprise exams and time just got away from me! damn life for taking away spobytime... ;) keep the reviews coming - if i get up to 330, ill update over the weekend (im actually NOT busy! ;) )**

**live. love. spoby.**

**AJ**


	35. Ali's Roses

Chapter 32:

Ali's Roses

"Mom, I know you hoped that I would wait until I finished college, but you should know that this is really what I want. I feel like when you're really in love, there's no reason to wait. I want to start living my life now. So, Mom, I'm marrying Toby."

Spencer took a deep breath and tried to keep her gaze as even as possible, before her own serious reflection in her mirror began to make her feel foolish.

"Ugh." She groaned, crossing her arms. She sat back hard onto the bed, letting out an exasperated sigh. It was purely hopeless. She had recited at least fifty different versions of the same speech in the mirror for the last hour, but at the end of each one, she was left with a feeling of foolishness and a mental picture of her mother's signature look of disbelief. She even considered bringing q-cards for reference, just to give her some peace of mind.

"Oh good, you're just talking to your reflection. I thought you might've been talking to _yourself_ and that would have been a little weird…" Spencer turned to see Hanna standing in the doorway of her dorm room, wrapped in a black knee-length coat and her favorite grey Burberry scarf.

"Hardy-har-har, you're _hilarious_." Spencer said tiredly, rising to her feet.

"Hey, I try." Hanna shrugged, aimlessly picking a piece of lint off of her shoulder. "You ready to go?"

"Go?" Spencer asked, knitting her eyebrows.

"Yeah. I'm supposed to take you shopping, remember?"

"No…"

"I didn't tell you? Oh ya, that's right, I was going to call you but then I saw some cherry red pumps in the display window at Saks and…well, it's all a blur after that."

"You mean _those_ cherry red pumps?" Spencer asked, pointing to the fierce crimson heels that adorned Hanna's feet.

Hanna looked down, "Oh. Oh yeah, those ones." She cleared her throat. "Well, are we going or not?"

"No." Spencer snorted with a laugh. "Do you know how behind I am? I'm supposed to have the tickets booked for Aria's bachelor party, work out the problem with the limousine company, and go with Jason to the bank to get a loan figured out for the house he's going to rent. Not to mention that I haven't even _told_ my parents about my own wedding-to-be."

"Hey, I'm just obeying orders!" Hanna said, holding her hands up in defense, "I was given strict instructions to come and welcome you back into the real world."

"By wh – Toby." Spencer said his name like an expletive, grunting under her breath.

Hanna smiled sympathetically and reached out to pet Spencer's arm, "He's worried about you."

"Well, he shouldn't be. I'm fine."

"Spence, you've gone through a lot in the past few months. It's okay to be a little frazzled."

"I'm not frazzled!"

"Spencer, Toby told me that you spent the entire morning staring at a TV that wasn't even _on_."

Spencer's face colored and she sighed, turning away from Hanna. She idly began to pick up various articles of clothing off of her dorm room floor. "Well, you're out of luck, anyway. Bree's coming home today and she's all eager-beaver to see the newest addition to my life." She held up her hand, wiggling her fingers to showcase her new ring.

"Oh, come on, Spence! I need to pick out a new dress for New Years anyway!"

"New Years? I thought you were – how did you phrase it? – oh yeah: going to get so hammered drunk that you wouldn't even be able to see your hand in front of your face and likely wake up on the bathroom floor of 7-Eleven."

"Yeah, well, I said that because it was the day after Caleb broke up with me and I was bitter, alright?" Hanna replied, "And there's actually been…a change of plans."

"What, are you and Caleb…getting back together?"

"What? No. No, no, he's uhm…he's leaving for Montecito when the new semester starts."

"What? You didn't tell me that."

"Well, frankly, I didn't really want to." Hanna shrugged, "It wasn't something I was open to talking about."

"Well, are you going somewhere before the party…?"

"You could say that." Hanna answered, stalling the question as long as she could.

"Hanna…?" Spencer furrowed her brows, "Are you going on a _date_?"

Hanna bit her lip and her sky-blue eyes swiveled up to the ceiling.

"Oh my God, you are!" Spencer exclaimed, "With who?"

Hanna began to idly play with her hair.

"Hanna."

Nothing.

"Hanna!"

"Will, okay!" Hanna burst out, "Will-freaking-Lovat, alright?"

A slow, triumphant smile spread across Spencer face and she laughed victoriously.

"What are you laughing about?" Hanna snapped.

"No, no, nothing!" Spencer assured her, "I just…I _knew_ it! I _knew_ that you were going to get together with him sooner or later! Who knew it? Spencer did!"

"Whoa, now before you break out in the 'in-your-face-dance,' we're _not_ 'together.'"

"Not _yet_, anyway…"

"Spencer!"

"What, you get to go all fangirl on me whenever you want and label my relationship as 'Spoby' and tell me how cute our six-pack chin-dimpled babies would be but you draw the line when I get excited about you going on a date with Will?"

"It's under different circumstances."

"Han." Spencer said seriously, putting a hand on her friend's shoulder, "I know that these past few months have been hard without Caleb, but you're doing the right thing. Going out and taking chances and trying new things are what are going to help you grow. So," She reached over to her dresser, plucking her bag off of the surface, "I'll be more than willing to help you pick out a dress."

"_That's_ what sells you on going shopping with me?!" Hanna protested as Spencer stepped around her, walking out the door, "My date with Will? Not your concerned boyfriend and your frazzled, Shutter-Island-mind?!"

Spencer laughed evilly, hurrying down the stairwell, chanting "Hanna Lovat" over and over with Hanna shouting after her in frustration.

* * *

><p>"Hey Jason, uhm, it's me. It's Aria…" Aria cleared her throat awkwardly, rocking back and forth on her feet, "Uhm, I saw that you got up early and left this morning. I know that talking with me last night wasn't exactly…comforting but…I'm willing to listen now. I'm sorry for jumping to all of those conclusions. Look I…well, we'll talk about it later. Give me a call when you get this. Thanks."<p>

She hung up and set the phone down on the counter, biting her lip and tapping her fingertips on the granite.

When Aria had woken up that morning, she discovered that Ezra's guest room was empty, with the bed made and Jason's shoes gone. When she ambled out into the kitchen, she found a hot cup of coffee, filled to the brim, on a little white saucer placed on the dining table. A little piece of paper was folded beside it, and when she opened it, she immediately recognized Jason's makeshift, messy writing.

_Aria –_

_ Thank you for everything. _

_ -Jason_

That was it. Nothing else. Nothing about what they had spoken of the night before. Nothing that involved any sort of feeling past the amiable gesture of a cup of morning coffee, which Aria had yet to touch, and now watched as it cooled on the table.

Ezra wasn't due to be home until the afternoon, and she knew that both Emily and Hanna had said that they were busy for the day. She didn't even want to think about phoning Spencer, who was probably listless and curled up in Toby's arms.

So she was alone. The feeling – the realization – was shocking to her. Startlingly white, like how Heaven was depicted in the movies. She felt cold and shaken up, like Jason's coming had unearthed some deep-rooted memories and feelings.

Aria remembered how Jason used to make her feel when she was younger. Bare, vulnerable, unguarded. Like with a single look…he could detect all of her secrets.

And now, she knew all of his.

The question was…would she tell Spencer?

_Could_ she tell Spencer?

Aria sank back into a kitchen chair and picked up the mug, beginning to drink the now lukewarm black coffee.

* * *

><p>When Spencer arrived at Toby's apartment, she half-expected to see a glowing light on the answering machine, which she would promptly press and listen to her sister as she poured out some good news about Wren's return, blah blah blah.<p>

But alas, there was no message. The light wasn't blinking.

And Wren was still nowhere to be found.

What she _didn't_ expect, as she set her purse down on the kitchen countertop, was a full bouquet of white roses, all perfectly ripe, and flawlessly arranged. She approached them with caution, half-assuming that it would suddenly blow up and send shards of glass flying across the room, like in the movies.

But no, it stayed exactly where it was, even as she reached out to run her fingers along one of the petals.

"White roses." Toby's voice said from behind her. She whirled around and saw him leaning against the frame of the kitchen doorway. It amazed her how after all these years, he could still sneak up on her like that.

"Yeah. Yeah, they're really pretty but…who brought them over?" She asked carefully.

"I bought them." Toby walked around the counter, joining her at the table.

"Why?"

"Well, white roses; Ali's favorite, right?"

Suddenly, the memory flickered to life in her mind. Ali, parading around in a floral summer dress, expressing just how much she wanted her prince charming to bring her a bouquet of white roses, or how she wanted her mom to weave her a crown of them for her sixteenth birthday…

"I asked Jason this morning – "

"You talked to Jason?"

"He stopped by while you were out; said that he was going to head up to the mountains for the weekend." Toby shrugged. "I asked him what her favorite flowers were; he said white roses."

Spencer was speechless. Toby had bought her flowers to help her remember Alison. Ali, who made his life virtually a living hell for most of his teenage years. Ali, who labeled him a freak and made him take the fall for something she was clearly guilty of. Ali, who was now buried in Rosewood cemetery, and whose last living remains were now a pile of ash on Emily's street.

"I thought that they were an accurate representation." Toby explained, wrapping a loose arm around her waist, "Houses burn, and flowers die; they're beautiful for a moment, and then…before we know it, they're gone. They're nothing but earthly things. It's the memories that help keep things alive."

And he was right. She was foolish to think that just because Jason's house was gone, that Ali's memory would perish with it. It wasn't the house that held Ali's soul, it was Ali's friends and family. All of the people that loved her, despite all of her faults.

Spencer sighed, blinking a couple of times to keep the tears that burned in them from spilling over. She sniffled once and turned to him. "Thank you." She said thickly. "I know that this probably wasn't easy for you."

"Love makes it easy." He shrugged, as if it was obvious.

She let out a short laugh and rose onto her tiptoes, planting a gentle kiss on his lips. "I love you, Toby Cavanaugh. I honestly don't know what I would do if you weren't here to remind me what life is really about sometimes. You keep me grounded." She smiled and he kissed the tip of her nose.

He smiled, wrapping his arms around her middle and lifting her upward, turning on his heel and sitting her down on the kitchen counter behind them. She giggled as he placed feathery kissed along her cheek and jaw line, drawing back her thick brown hair so that he could better access her neck. Her fingers drew lazy, light circles along his shoulder blades and his mouth finally returned to hers, kissing her softly for a moment, as if her lips were as fragile as the white rose petals…

"You know, despite being frazzled by everything and all…I'm actually pretty excited about the wedding." She said.

"Oh, are you?" Toby asked coyly, his fingertips absently tracing her collarbone.

"Oh, yeah. I mean, the famous Ezria wedding? Not something to be taken lightly…" She teased.

Toby snorted and laughed softly, putting his hands on either side of her face to rest the tip of his nose against hers. "Well, it's good to see that your good humor is back in its rightful place, as well as your signature sarcasm."

"Hey, if they disappeared forever, I wouldn't be Spencer Hastings, now would I?"

"No, you most definitely wouldn't." He confirmed. Reaching behind his neck, he pulled her left hand free and lifted it up to his face, kissing the top of her ring. "So I hope that they always stick around."

"Well, actually, in a few months, I won't be Spencer Hastings at all…" She said in a sing-songy voice.

"Ah, I guess not." He agreed.

"You know, Spencer Cavanaugh has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

"Absolutely." He chuckled against her throat, his hand dropping hers to wrap around her and trace shapes up at down her spine. She shivered at his light touch.

"You know what we have to do now, don't you?"

"Enlighten me, Juliet."

She pulled back to look into his eyes and took a deep breath to steady herself. "We have to tell my parents."

**thanks for all the wonderful support everyone! keep the feedback/reviews coming! they keep this story in motion and have gotten it to where its been ;) **

**love always,**

**AJ**


	36. Black and Red Collide

Chapter 33:

Black and Red Collide

"Too much?" Spencer asked, her eyebrows arched in question.

Toby turned away from the dresser mirror and let his eyes rove over her, taking in her appearance.

After over four years together, one would think that he would become numb or at least impartial to her exterior form. But no, even though all that time had passed, he still seemed to get a fluttery heartbeat and a goofy grin on his face when he saw her. Every expression she made, everything she wore – from sweats to jeans to gowns – reminded him of just how beautiful she was, inside and out.

Tonight, in honor of the upcoming new years' party, Spencer was daring in her midnight blue cocktail dress, with a lace neckline that was all-too signature Spencer to fit anyone else. It hugged her narrow waist and fanned out loosely about her hips. Her hair was tied up in a loose up-do, held back by a few silver clips. A pair of black heels dangled from her fingertips, and she stood in the doorway, putting on her lipstick.

"Well?"

Her voice brought him out of his reverent stare, and he realized that she was actually expecting an honest answer.

"Oh, no." He shook his head, taking a few steps toward her. When he reached her at the bedroom doorway, he let his arms wrap loosely around her, "Perfect."

"Are you sure? The dress isn't – "

"Nope."

"The shoes aren't – "

"Nope."

"The – "

"Spencer, it's beautiful. Really. _You're_ beautiful." He smiled, rubbing the tip of his nose affectionately against hers, "An angel in midnight blue."

"Well, Romeo, I hope you're right about that, because at this rate, I'm going to need wings to get to the party on time." She gently extracted herself from his grip, stepping around him and hurrying towards the dresser mirror.

"Hey, Ezra and Aria said that it would be no biggie if we were late." Toby replied calmly, running a hand through his hair.

"Yes, but I'm _Spencer Hastings_, silly." She said as if it was obvious. "I don't do 'late.'"

"Ah, yes, the always fashionably early Spencer Hastings." He confirmed, joining her in front of the dresser, "My wonderful fiancée. The love of my life."

"As sweet as you are, you might have to trade in the Romeo façade for something more boring. Perhaps Mercutio or Benvolio? Even Friar Lawrence was at least rational."

"Hm, and who would that make you? Nurse? Lady Capulet? Or perhaps even Rosaline?"

"Psh, as if." Spencer rolled her eyes, fitting one last bobby pin into her curls. "If I was Rosaline, I'd have to be chaste all my life, now wouldn't I? I think that this," she held up her ring finger in the mirror, "says otherwise."

"Face it, Spencer." Toby let his fingertips run gently down her arms, "We're the star crossed lovers of Verona-Rosewood and always will be."

Spencer smiled, "Well, I can't say that I'd really want it any other way."

He grinned softly and pressed a gentle kiss into her hair. She shrieked in objection, "What are you doing?! I just got my hair to stay where it was!" Her hands flew to the back of her head, anxiously fingering the space he had kissed.

He snorted and rolled his eyes, "Spencer, it's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Why are you so worked up over this?"

"I guess I've just been…I don't know…on the fritz lately?"

"Well, that's quite obvious." He said, and she scowled, her cute nose scrunching up. "But I was curious as to why you were so frazzled."

"This week has been quite crazy, in case you didn't realize." She replied, matter-of-factly while applying a final coat of mascara on her ebony eyelashes.

"What, like telling your parents?" He asked with a knowing smirk. "Spencer, it was no big deal. They took it very well, I thought."

"Well, if you invented a new dictionary in which 'well' means my father almost turning purple while trying to keep a straight face and my mother looking like she had just gotten the world's worst migraine, then yes, things went exceedingly well."

"Your mom said that she was happy for us!"

"She was apprehensive and you know it!"

"So it'll take her some getting used to. Big deal."

"It is a big deal!"

"Spencer, your parents want you to be happy." Toby said seriously, turning her around to face him. He pressed her lower back gently against the dresser. Carefully, as to not ruin her hair more, he pushed a lock of it back behind her ear, "_Are_ you happy?"

"Of course." She said automatically, as if the question itself was a silly notion.

"Then they'll learn to be okay with it. If they want you happy, they'll see that I love you as much as they do."

She smiled sweetly and turned her head slightly so that she could press her lips into the palm of his hand. "Okay." She sighed. Her arms came to wrap loosely around his waist, "I trust you."

He kissed the tip of her knows, "To infinity and beyond, Juliet."

* * *

><p>"Okay, one, two, three." Hanna counted off with a smile, and on the last number, she popped the Warhead into her mouth, immediately triggering the expected spitting image of the person on the cover of the candy wrapper: contorted and nearly in pain.<p>

She looked over to see Will making the same expression, his eyes clamping shut behind his glasses. Hanna laughed and put a hand over her mouth, "God, those things are _still _terrible; to this very day!"

Will nodded in agreement, finally getting his expression back to normal. The two were taking a casual stroll down the snow-covered sidewalk of Rosewood, passing boutiques and coffee shops that were in the process of closing down for the night. After a great dinner at one of Hanna's favorite Italian joints, they had decided to hit up the candy shop down the street – the same one that they each had been addicted to as a kid – and purchased practically a vat of candy. Red Hots, Hershey's, Starbursts, and the universally-feared sour balls of death – Warheads.

"I can't remember one time I've eaten one of these and afterwards thought 'oh, this was a good decision.'" Will teased, tossing the wrapper back in the plastic bag. Hanna reached over and dove her hand into the bag, pulling out a mellow pink Starburst to ease the bitter taste of the previous candy off of her tongue.

"Neither have I." Hanna agreed, "But it was always fun to dare people to finish a whole one."

Will nodded and laughed, "I lost way too much of my lunch money on those bets." He shook his head.

Hanna giggled and pushed a lock hair out of her face. She came to a stop in front of the old green clock at the corner of the road, which showcased the current time. "You know, it's the New Year in Europe right now." She noted, stuffing her hands into her pockets.

"Is it now?" He asked, and she could hear a smile in his voice.

Suddenly, she felt an enormous chunk of wet slush nail her in the back of her jacket, and she turned: a snowball. She looked up at Will, her mouth open wide in shock. He was smiling gleefully, almost like a little kid, and her face contorted in playful anger.

"Oh, you are so gonna get it!" She exclaimed, stooping to pack together a snowball of her own. When she did, she flung it at him. He tried to dodge it, but it hit him square in the face, nearly knocking his glasses off.

"You little…" He said, reaching for more ammo and she squeaked, running backwards to get further away from him. They continued to launch snowballs at each other, every one bigger than the one before. After a few moments, Will charged at her, and she squealed as he wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her playfully into the air, nearly hoisting her body over his shoulder. After he spun her in a circle, he gently set her down on her feet, his arms still around her. She smiled and giggled, taking the glasses off of his face and cleaning the foggy frost off of the lenses with her sleeve. When she gently placed them back on him, he leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose, pink from the snow. She wrinkled her face in a smile, and he laughed with her.

The whole thing felt so…natural? Like it was the easiest thing in the world. She wasn't worried about who would see them or what he would think of her.

They just…_were_.

"Come on." She said, "Now that you've gotten me all wet and gross, we'll roll in looking like slobs at the party."

He chuckled and pushed a strand of hair from her face, "Really?" He asked. His fingers wandered to where her oval shaped 'H' locket lay over her scarf, "Because you still look beautiful, I think."

She snorted, "Okay, Prince Charming, let's goooo…" She rolled her eyes with a smile, gently breaking away from him and taking his hand. As she rounded the corner with him beside her, she saw a figure coming out of the bookshop a little while down the sidewalk. When the person turned their head, she stopped dead in her tracks and dropped Will's hand like a dead fish. And when their eyes met hers, she knew that she was done for.

She expected Caleb to turn and keep walking after he got a good glance at them – she and Will. But he stayed right where he was, a textbook tucked beneath his arm, his face expressionless.

And Hanna just wanted to disappear into the given air.

* * *

><p>"Helloooo, Aria?" Ezra waved his hand in front of his fiancée's stoic face, trying to get her attention, "Anyone in there?"<p>

"Huh?" She asked with a slight start, "Oh. Sorry, yeah, I just…"

"Spaced? For the fifth time in the last hour?" He asked, somewhat teasingly.

"Yeah, sorry. Just…a lot on my mind, I guess." She tried a smile.

"School?"

"Yeah. And the wedding."

"Well, I guess all of that can be stressful for a girl." He playfully ruffled her hair, kissing the top of her head, "But, we have to get the h'orderves done before our lovely guests show up." He crossed the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. "How's your 'enhanced macaroni and cheese' coming along?" He asked.

"Hm?" Aria stood at the sink, draining the thick fettuccini noodles, "Oh, fine." She said.

It had taken her the entire day of thinking and she still had yet to figure out a solution to the Jason situation. It had been all she thought about for three days straight, and she feared that Ezra might soon pick up on her aloofness and start pressing questions.

"Alright, bean dip, guacamole, bread…anything I'm missing?" He asked her.

"Uhm, nope, not that I can see."

"You aren't even looking at it."

"Well, it sounds great." She said passively.

"Okay, what's wrong?" He asked seriously, joining her in front of the sink. "You've been off ever since I got back. Did something happen while I was gone?"

"Yeah, my best friend almost died in a fire." She reminded him bluntly.

"You know what I mean."

"Yes, and that's what happened. Ezra, things have been messing with Spencer's life right and left ever since the school year started. I'm starting to worry that some divine force is out to get her…" She fixed the skirt of her black lace dress, and tucked a loose curl behind her ear.

"Hey, don't worry about it." He assured her, "I talked to Spencer this morning; she's fine. She told me that Toby's been really helpful with the situation and cheering her up."

"Yeah, but have we heard a word from Jason since the fire? Nope, we haven't." She stepped around him, heading for the cabinet, where she fished out a bag of pita chips.

"Aria, it'll be _fine_. He probably just needs some time to cool down. Really, it shouldn't be shocking; that kid spends more time away from Rosewood than in it."

"He's not a kid." She said under her breath.

"Look, he's been going through a lot of stuff ever since his sister died six years ago; it takes a while to get back to a normal life after a trauma like that."

"Yeah, tell me about it." She said bluntly.

"Aria." Suddenly Ezra was at her back, turning her around to face him. He cupped her face in his hands, "You. Will. Be. Fine. And so will he."

She sighed, shaking her head. "Alright. You're right." She said. "Now let's just get ready for our guests." She picked up the little festive kazoo on the table in front of her, blowing into it." Happy New Year." She put on a fake smile.

She'd said the reassuring words. She just wished that she believed them.

**alright guys, here comes the moment of truth.**

**so i decided a while ago that when the time came i would ask YOU all for YOUR opinion. i have two separate pieces planned out in my mind, and it could easily go either way, but i want YOUR votes.**

**so: caleb or will?**

**who will be right for hanna?**

**leave your vote as a review and i will count them up by thursday next week and have the chapter up by either friday or saturday next week.**

**now: PLEASE dont be angry with me if it doesnt end up going the way you would like! :( im sorry but im just going to go by majority rule!**

**and thanks so much for the reviews/support! love you all!**

**xo AJ ;)**


	37. I Could Use Somebody

Chapter 34:

I Could Use Somebody

The pieces weren't altogether there for Hanna. The last clear memories she had as she woke up, bathed in sunlight peeking through a gap in the curtains were the events at Aria and Ezra's house. The twinkling Christmas lights, the countdown on the TV, Spencer kissing her fiancée when midnight came, and Ezra and Aria and Emily and Samara doing the same. Hanna smiling as Will tucked a loose curl behind her ear and kissing her softly, like it was the easiest thing in the world.

All of that was clear. There. Certain.

What happened after…that's where things got hazy.

After Will drove her back to her apartment at around one in the morning, she noticed that the red light on her answering machine was blinking aggressively. Thinking nothing of it, she dropped her bag by the couch and casually pressed the button while walking past the phone, fishing a bottle of water out of the fridge.

Caleb's voice on the machine made her freeze, and it was like her blood was turning to sludge.

_"Hey, Hanna. I just…wanted to call and say that uhm…well, you know it really isn't…I guess I was just wondering. Oh, never mind. It doesn't matter. Uhm. Happy New Year. Okay." _ Followed by an awkward clicking sound as he hung up the phone.

Hanna hadn't realized that she had taken a few involuntary steps towards the machine, and when the short messaged ended, she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

Suddenly, she was filled with hot, boiling anger, bubbling in her blood. How _dare_ he! Drop out of her life with no intention of coming back and then decide that he wasn't done screwing with her head yet? How _dare_ he.

Nearly blinded by rage, Hanna moved towards the couch, grabbing her purse and heading for the door. She wasn't even quite sure where she was going – or what she was doing, for that matter – but she seemed unable to stop herself.

She recalled getting into her car and driving somewhere. The next bit of memory she had was stopping by the liquor store and purchasing an entire fifth of Jack Daniels. She didn't know if she had ever finished all of it, but the spots in her memory proved that she had had a good portion of the bottle.

She vaguely recalled parking in front of an apartment building, ambling up the stairwell, and banging her fist against a door until she was sure she had bruised herself.

When Caleb opened the door, she remembered spitting out a few angry things, mixed with some choice words, letting every shred of reserve she had drown away in the alcohol.

When her eyes wandered a bit into Caleb's apartment – which was mostly filled with cardboard boxes ready to be shipped out to Montecito – she spotted a bottle of liquor on his table, too. What was it? Jim Beam? She could barely make out the letters.

_"Hanna, why are you driving drunk?"_

_ "Why are you leaving messages on my answering machine? And don't act like you're any more sober than I am."_

_ "You're acting insane; go home."_

_ "No! Not until you tell me why you keep coming back to mess with my head!"_

_ "Hanna – "_

_ "No, Caleb! Look me in the eye and tell me you don't care about me anymore. Tell me. Leave me alone. If you're just going to disappear in a few weeks into a new life, I don't want any last thoughts about what could have been."_

_ "Well, if you want me gone, all you have to do is ask. You're the one who wanted me to leave in the first place."_

_ "I never wanted that!"_

_ "Could have fooled me."_

_ "Ugh! See, that's why you don't get it yet. You don't see how I really feel. I feel like you're doing all of this shit just to spite me!"_

_ "Oh, and you flitting around with Super Boy doesn't have anything to do with showing me?"_

_ "How – how dare you! I finally try to get over you and you have a problem with me moving on? You can't have it both ways, Caleb!" At that point, her hands came up and she shoved him, hard. "I'm not like Montecito; I won't just be here until you're done with me."_

_ "Are you trying to pretend that you're done with me?"_

_ "I was never done with you! I've been trying _so_ hard, but you just keep showing up, right when I finally feel like I'm close to forgetting you."_

_ "Is that what you want? To forget me?"_

_ "Isn't that what you want?"_

_ "But this is what you decided!"_

_ "I decided? _I _decided?! Oh, I swear to God, you are the most – "_

But her words were swallowed up by the sudden presence of his lips on hers, kissing her hard. Before she could even think of stopping herself, her hands came up to bury in his hair, pulling him closer. His arms came around her middle in a familiar embrace, and he lifted her up so that her legs could wrap around his waist.

Hanna recalled ambling backwards into his apartment, unsteady from the influence of the liquor. She remembered him lowering her onto his mattress – which was on the ground, with the headboards packed up in boxes – and pressing down on top of her. She recollected him helping her pull her shirt over her head, kicking off her heels, and yanking his sweater off. She remembered his warmth, almost overtaking her, the familiarity of his touch as he pressed her downwards, deeper into the sheets…

And now, as the sunlight burned against her closed eyelids, she felt the smooth rhythm of his breathing underneath her cheek. She was lying across his warm bare chest, swathed in the comforter and bathed in sunlight.

As she carefully rolled over onto her back, sitting up, she wondered what it was she had been looking for when she came over last night. She was drunk – that was the only excuse she had.

But it wasn't like things were going to change, were they? No. He was still days away from leaving for Montecito, Will was still scheduled to meet her for lunch that day, and she and Caleb were still a fragmented mess.

The only thing worse than the mess was the fact that Hanna couldn't bring herself to regret the previous night.

She clenched her eyes shut, rubbing them with her fist and let out an exasperated sigh. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and gathered her clothes, starting to get dressed. Letting her heels dangle from her fingers, she headed for the door.

When she looked back, leaning against the doorframe, she let her eyes observe him carefully. She could imagine his anger when he woke up and realized she wasn't there. Or maybe he would just be angry that she had come in the first place.

She wasn't sure she could face him sober, not after what had happened the previous night.

Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a sticky note and a pen, hastily scribbling down a quick, fleeting thought.

She walked over around the side of his mattress, careful not to wake him, and laid the note on his side table. Then, she turned and walked out of the room, along the hall, and exited the apartment.

_I'm sorry. For everything. – Han_

* * *

><p><em>"'And the tree was happy.'"<em> Toby smiled as he read aloud the last line, snapping the book shut.

Taylor smiled as well, showing off the gap in her teeth and clapped her hands. "Read another book, Uncle Toby!"

"It's getting late, Tay…" Toby ruffled her cute dark hair.

"Pleathe?" She lisped, sticking out her bottom lip.

He chuckled. "Alright, go pick one out."

She jumped off of the bed with glee, and hurried over to her little bookshelf.

"Who knew you would be as big of a bookworm as your aunt." Toby grinned, sitting back against the wall.

Melissa had called Spencer earlier that evening and asked her if she would be willing to drive up to the cabin with her and put the projective covers on the windows to prevent the frost from shattering the glass. Although it was an important task to complete, Spencer and Toby knew that Melissa was looking for an excuse to get Spencer alone to talk about Jason and Wren.

So, naturally, Toby volunteered to watch Taylor for a few hours until they got back.

"Uncle Toby?"

"Yes, Squirt?"

"Why does Aunt Thenther call you Romeo?"

Toby laughed. "Well, that's a while different story, Tay."

"Oooh, a story? I wanna hear it!"

"It's a little too old for you." He said with a gentle grin. "It's a grown-up story."

"Oh, is it a kithing story?" She lisped, and her expression of understanding made Toby laugh again.

"Yeah, you could say that."

"Do you love Aunt Thenther?" She asked, already moving onto another subject as she continued to look for a book.

"Yes I do, sweetheart. Very much."

"Are you guys going to get married like Thinderella and Prince Charming?"

"Well, I suppose so." He smiled.

"Okay, good. Are you going to have a pumpkin carriage at your wedding?"

"Oh, well, you never know."

"If you do, can I ride in it?"

"As many times as your heart desires."

"Yay!" She rejoiced, as she slid another book off of her shelf. Returning to her bed, she climbed onto the mattress and settled beside Toby, tucking herself underneath his arm. She smiled and kissed the top of her head as she handed him her beat-up copy of _Goodnight, Moon._

"Uncle Toby?" She asked, her voice suddenly a bit sad.

"Yes, Tay?"

"Why doesn't my daddy love my mommy like you love Aunt Thenther?"

Toby sighed and looked at the wall, searching for a way to address that question. "Well, you see Tay…sometimes people get married…for the wrong reasons. Maybe it's because they just are in love with the idea of love, or maybe it's because they feel as if they owe it to themselves to try it out. But every couple is different. But just because they don't always feel loving towards each other, doesn't mean they don't love you."

"I don't even know where my daddy _is."_ She said, and the soft innocence of her voice nearly broke Toby's heart.

He kissed her hair again and gave her a gentle hug. "It's okay, Tay. We'll find him soon. I promise."

"Thometimes I wish you were my daddy, Uncle Toby." Taylor whispered softly.

Not knowing what to say, he sighed and opened the book, beginning to read aloud.

Taylor was asleep before he even got to page five.

* * *

><p>"So, he hasn't called at all?" Spencer asked Melissa from the passenger's seat of the car.<p>

"Haven't heard a word."

The two sisters had just finished putting tarp covers over the windowpanes at their lake house before the worst of the winter frost could get to them. Now, they were on their way back, driving through the woods that led into Rosewood.

"And you haven't heard from Jason?" Melissa asked.

"Not a thing."

"So, I guess we're both in the rut, huh?"

"Yep." Spencer agreed, her hand resting on her fist.

"Why don't people want to be found, Spencer? Why don't they think that we can help them?"

"I guess they're too ashamed to be upfront with us."

"But why? Why does pride get in the way of everything?"

"You say that like you don't have any."

"Any what?" Melissa asked.

"Pride."

"Well, who's to say I do?"

"Me. You. Everyone who's ever met you." Spencer said, "You had too much pride to be honest with Wren about your pregnancy, and you have too much pride to tell Franco that you don't need him anymore."

"But I do need him."

"No, you don't. You're both better off without each other."

"I don't know if you realized, but I'm carrying his child."

"It's your child too, Melissa. And that child is a child, whether it grows up with Wren as a father or Franco."

"But I love Franco."

"Do you?"

"Yes." She said. "At least…at least I think I do."

Spencer eyed her skeptically.

"Look, he's good to me, he's passionate, he loves me, and he's good to Taylor. Four things that Wren will never be."

"Well, there's still one thing that Wren is and will always be." Spencer replied.

"What?"

"Taylor's father."

"Spencer, Jason grew up thinking that Peter DiLaurentis was his father when really he was the spawn of Jessica DiLaurentis and Peter _Hastings_."

"Yeah, and look how destroyed he was to find out. His whole childhood was one big giant lie after another. That's why he was so messed up, and that's why he's hiding from us like some kind of convict."

"So then what do you want me to do?" Spencer could tell Melissa was struggling to keep her voice even.

"Tell _someone_ the truth. Whether it is Wren when you find him, Taylor when you get home, or just letting Franco know that this isn't fairy tale world. At least one of you four deserves to be happy."

"What if I just let Wren go, Spencer? Imagine how much easier things would be. He doesn't want to be found anyway. Then Franco and I could be together, our baby would have a loving family, and Taylor could grow up with a real father. Because right now, Toby is a better father to Taylor that Wren has or will ever be, and he's not even related to her."

Spencer sighed. "That's not how things work, Melissa. When you touch someone's life in such a deep way…those fingerprints become permanent."

"I can erase them; I want to."

"I just…don't want you to make rash decisions. There's already too much quick judgment going around, and it's getting us nowhere."

"I'll think about it, Spencer. But whatever I choose…I want you to support me, okay?" Melissa looked over at her. "Because that's what sisters _do_."

Spencer sat back. "Okay. I will."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

* * *

><p>"That poor kid deserves a good life." Toby sighed, running a hand through his hair.<p>

"Yeah, no kidding. I just had a long chat with her misfit mommy." Spencer replied, peeling off her blouse and hanging it up. She reached for one of Toby's shirts, tugging it over her head.

"If you had been there, Spence…if you could have heard what she asked me, you would have just died."

"Believe me, I've already gotten my fair share of Tragic Moments with Taylor." Spencer let out a breath, crawling under the covers. Toby came out of the bathroom, putting on one of his white t-shirts. He got in bed on the other side, stretching out beside her.

"I wish things could be normal, Toby. Just for once."

"Well, Romeo and Juliet never had it easy."

"They also got married when they were teenagers, Toby."

"Okay, point taken."

"Everything is just so…messed up." Spencer groaned, flopping onto her back.

"Hey," Toby said softly, his voice slightly raspy, "come here."

"What?"

"Come over here."

She rolled onto her side, inching towards him. "What are you doing?" She asked as he drew her in closer, and she felt his breath on her face.

"Reminding you 'what it feels like to be human.'" He murmured as he pressed his lips beneath her jaw.

Smiling devilishly, she responded to his touch by raking her hands through his hair, arching her head back so that he could get a better angle as he kissed down her neck and shoulders. In a quick second, they had yanked her t-shirt off, letting it disappear somewhere beneath the covers, and she was on her back, with him poised above her.

She kissed him deeply, relishing in the familiar taste of his mouth, his breath. She pulled at his shirt and his fingers teased the skin just above the waistline of her pajama shorts. She groaned, running her fingertips up his back, and drawing his shirt over his head. He tugged her pajama pants down, and she hastily kicked them off, wrapping her legs around his torso. His tongue traced her lips and she pulled at the drawstring of his pajama pants. Close was never close enough for her. She needed him like the air she breathed. When they finally shed the remainder of their clothing, he brought her hands up above her head and pressed against her, guiding her hips towards him. When they were finally one, she shuddered with the ripple of pleasure that coursed through her body. He squeezed her hands with each movement, and her head fell back against the pillows, gasping. He pressed his face into her neck, and they both clung to each other as if they were terrified of falling off the face of the earth.

She cried out desperately, and he murmured her name, his breath tickling her ear. She'd never heard such passion stretched out amongst two syllables as she did when they were so intimate with one another. He kissed her gently one last time as he drew out of her, rolling onto his side and spooning her against him. She squirmed in his arms as he moved, though, and he was confused as she wrestled to get out of what was usually her favorite position to sleep in. She pressed her face into his bare chest, wrapping her arms tight around him.

Her soft, broken breathing made Toby feel uneasy and worried for a moment, but he soon realized that she was, truly, desperate. Everything in her world was falling apart, one person at a time. She needed someone to cling onto. To hold her and let her know that everything was going to be all right.

She needed her Romeo.

So he held her while she tried to steady herself; he kissed her hair and rubbed her back softly, until she had regained her composure and his caresses had made her drowsy.

"You're my angel." She whispered softly, listlessly.

He smiled and kissed her forehead, "And you're mine, Juliet."

**thanks for all of the positive feedback my loves! really, this story would be NOTHING without each and every one of you; and thanks for all of the votes! now, i think i have a good idea on where i'm taking this story, but it's not too late to vote for hanna's beau! keep sending your opinions! **

**how did you feel about the haleb at the beginning? ;) now, don't be convinced, this hanna/caleb/will story is far from over! i'm really pleasantly surprised by the amount of people that have taken a liking to will! personally, i think that hanna could easily be happier with either one of them, so it'll be fine whatever way it turns out for me.**

**and i hope i got enough of that steamy spoby you've been asking for ;) it's always fun to write them.**

**next ch, i'll touch more on hanna and will, and how caleb fits into the equation, and the huge mess that exists among aria, jason, and ezra ;)**

**now, would anyone like me to focus on emily and samara a little bit as well? b/c if you like them together as much as i do, i'm totally willing to write more of them in for you! ;)**

**c'est amour - AJ**


	38. When You Lose Something You Cant Replace

Chapter 35:

When You Lose Something You Can't Replace

"What do you mean 'he's missing?'" Spencer asked forcibly, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I mean, he hasn't been home in over a week, the last place he was seen was a gas station in Pemberley five days ago, and no one's heard from him at all. According to federal law, he's now classified as 'missing,' Miss Hastings." The brown eyed cop replied dully, as if this were his trillionth 'MISSING' message he'd delivered all day.

"What? That's…that's ridiculous. He's twenty-seven years old. He's an _adult_. Adults don't go missing, Officer. Children do."

"Well, if you can verify his location, then no, he can't qualify as missing." The officer fished a black iPhone out of his pocket and held it out for her. She looked at for a moment, before her gaze traveled upwards to his expectant face.

Sighing, she took the phone from him and dialed Jason's number.

After a few rings, she hung up with a huff, "Voicemail." She said under her breath.

After the cop took his phone back, he nodded his head to her in a gentlemanly fashion. His bloodshot eyes reminded Spencer of an old, sad bloodhound. "We'll do everything we can to locate him," he promised her, and she nodded. "Good day, Miss Hastings." He tipped his cap to her and walked away.

Shutting the front door, Spencer turned and sauntered back over to the sofa, dropping back onto it beside Hanna, who was halfway through a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

"What the hell was that about?" Hanna asked her.

"I have no idea. But it's ridiculous. Jason's a grown up." Spencer said in disbelief, "He doesn't need a tracker on him twenty-four seven. It's not like him wandering off is anything new. He's allowed to have a few secrets and some breathing room." She sighed. "I just wish he'd told me why he left in the first place."

"Hey, don't worry about it." Hanna reasoned, her voice gurgley from her mouthful of Rocky Road, "Once Jason realizes that his absence has caused such a fuss, he'll come home."

"I hope so." Spencer sighed, picking up her mug of coffee.

"Where's Toby this morning?" Hanna asked.

"At the hardware store. He's fixing the creaky cabinet in the kitchen today."

"You have a creaky cabinet in the kitchen?"

"No. But according to Toby we do." Spencer shrugged. "It's how Toby copes with uncertainty; he fixes things."

"Ah, makes sense."

"I mean, with Jenna in the Looney Bin, Jason on the Lamb, and the sitch with my sister and Wren, nothing is guaranteed anymore." Spencer sipped her coffee. "He's been a little bit more concerned that usual since last week."

"Why, what happened last week?"

"You should've heard what Taylor said to him when he babysat her." Spencer shook her head. "She said that she wished Toby was her father, instead of Wren."

"Wow."

"I know."

"Poor Toby."

"Poor Taylor."

"This whole year is starting out a bust."

"Hey, don't be so sure," Spencer replied with a touch of optimism, "What about you and Will?"

"We're good."

"'Good?' That's all I get? No details?"

"Alright. _Very_ good."

"Han."

"We're…great. He's great. He's very sweet."

"But…"

"But I'm still messed up, Spence. I'm still the constant victim of love. I still think about Caleb all the time."

"You still love him?"

"Do you ever really unfall for someone?"

"Yes."

"Okay, one that you actually loved."

"I guess it depends."

"No, Spence, it doesn't. If Toby just decided one day that he was going to walk out on you, you would _never_ get over it."

Spencer's eyes fell to her coffee, and she nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I guess I wouldn't."

Hanna sighed. "It sucks. Because I want to be with Caleb, but it feels like there will always be this…wall between us, you know? And I still really care about Will; he makes me happy."

"Then stay with him."

"I want to. But…" Hanna sighed, getting to her feet, "You know, I'm getting a headache. I need some air."

"Uhm, alright." Spencer stood up as well, "Can I get you some water?"

"Oh, no, uhm it's fine." Hanna shook her head, "I should probably get going anyway. Huge exam to study for." She said hurriedly, gathering her bag. She headed for the door, slipping on her booties and leaving, empty ice cream carton in tow.

"You know we're still on semester break." Spencer said after Hanna had shut the door behind her.

* * *

><p>"I got the tickets!" Spencer said into the receiver, balancing her phone between her cheek and shoulder.<p>

"That's great, Spence!" Toby replied on the other line. "When do we leave?"

"Well, Marti Gras is in February this year, so our flight is on the sixteenth."

"And Aria and Ezra have their tickets too, right?"

"Yep!" Spencer walked around the kitchen island and stood in front of the stove, dumping a boxful of noodles into a boiling pot of water.

"Perfect. And Em and Samara are coming too. We're all set, then."

"Well, here's the dilemma," She replied, "Whose Hanna bringing?"

"I thought you said she was going out with Will now?"

"She is; but when I talked to her today she said that she still had feelings for Caleb."

"Well, they were together four years – as long as we've been together. You can't expect those feelings to fade in a few short months."

"I know. But I feel like it might be too much for her at the moment, you know? Going to New Orleans for Marti Gras with a guy she's unsure about."

"Yeah, I get it. Say, why do I hear…boiling lava in the background?"

"I'm making _pasta_, Toby. And it isn't that loud. At all."

"I almost get my hearing blown out every day from the wear and tear of construction work. If I can hear it, it's loud."

"Well, hurry home and get some before I eat it all." Spencer replied as she stirred the pot of sauce beside the noodles.

"Roger that, Juliet. I'll be home quick like a bunny. Would you like me to pick you up anything while I'm on my way? Milk? Chocolate? Some roses?"

"Well, now that you mention it, I've been lacking a bit in red roses and scented candles…"

"Oh, and I presume bath salts as well?" Toby teased.

"Naturally." Spencer replied in her best hoity-toity voice. "Maybe you'd be chivalrous enough to fetch a carriage so we can attend Lady Montgomery's ball tonight?"

"Of course. What's the week without a ball?"

Spencer laughed. "Alright." She said with a soft smile. "See you soon."

"Love you."

"Love you, too."

Spencer hung up and set the phone down by the stove, continuing to blissfully stir her pot of lava.

* * *

><p>Hanna bumped the revolving door of Loehmann's with her hip, ambling out of the store with her arms full of bags. After leaving Spencer, she had aimlessly walked around Rosewood, and before she knew it, she was right smack in the middle of Loehmann's shoe department, a pair of Gucci boots in her hands.<p>

So, naturally, she had bought way more than she needed, and now had to make her way back to her apartment, since her car was in the shop for the next few days.

Suddenly, someone's hands on her hips made her jump like a deer, "Gotcha." A familiar voice said low in her ear.

She turned, still balancing the plentiful bags, "Will!"

"I thought that red scarf was familiar." He grinned, nodding towards the one that adorned her neck.

She smiled and readjusted the bags and boxes in her arms. Noticing her strain, Will moved quickly to taken them off of her hands for her.

"You don't have to do that." Hanna smiled, and she was surprised to feel a slight blush warm her cheeks.

"Well, it's a chivalrous thing to do, right?" Will teased. "Can I buy you a coffee?"

"Uhm…" Hanna bit her lip, thinking about all that had happened in the past couple of days. Spencer, Jason, Will, Caleb…_her_ and Caleb…

"You know what, yeah, yeah sure." She decided, silencing the annoying, pecking voice in the back of her head. "Let's go."

"We'll drop your bags in my car and I'll give you a lift home, too, 'kay?"

"Sounds perfect."

* * *

><p>"Yeah. Alright, I'll talk to you later, Spence." Aria hung up the phone and set it down on the counter.<p>

"Who was that?" She looked up to see Ezra strolling into the kitchen, sliding his briefcase off of his shoulder.

"Uhm, just Ivy." She lied, turning towards him. "She wanted clarification on the reception menu."

"Well, she's always been a thorough caterer." He smiled. Nearing her, he dropped a quick kiss on her lips before heading for the fridge to grab a beer.

Aria wasn't quite sure why she lied so quickly. Maybe it was that she didn't want Ezra to know how worried she was about Jason.

He still hadn't returned her call, the one she gave him nearly a week ago. And now Spencer said that the police were declaring him "missing."

The whole ordeal was enough to make Aria's skin crawl.

"So how was you day?" Aria cleared her throat.

"Oh, you know, the usual. Same old, same old." Ezra loosened his tie, taking a swig of his beer. "Hey." He said, "What would you say to going out for dinner tonight? Just the two of us? We haven't been out together in a while."

"Well, we have the rest of our lives to." Aria grinned.

"Well, why not start now?" He teased. He loomed closer to her, setting down his beer and pressing her back against the counter.

She grinned as his finger traced the line of her jaw. "Alright. I'll get my coat."

* * *

><p>Spencer looked at the clock again. 9:15. She sighed and took another sip of wine.<p>

Toby was supposed to have been home two hours ago. He had texted her and said that he was meeting Emily to help her fix the leaky faucet in her parents' house, but that was only supposed to take twenty-five minutes. She'd phoned him five times since then, and each time, her efforts were met with his friendly voicemail greeting. She had then texted Emily, who had reported that Toby had left an hour previous.

Spencer was worried.

She didn't want to go driving around Rosewood, anxiously crawling the town in search for her adult boyfriend like he was a child, but if any more time passed…she feared she might have to.

Her eyes centered in on the clock, and every sound but the subtle clicking of the hands faded away. It was only she and the clock – the constant reminder of how nervous she was.

Suddenly, the shrill sound of her cell phone rang out, and she nearly spilt her wine in frantic desperation to get it. Wrapping her fingers around it, she raised it to her ear, "Hello?!"

"Spence?" Toby's voice said on the other line. He sounded like he was trying to keep his tone even, in an attempt to keep her calm.

"Toby, wha – where are you?" She furrowed her eyebrows.

"Uhm, Spence, I'm…"

"Toby…what's wrong? Why are you so late? What happened?"

"Listen, Spence…"

"Toby. W_here. Are. You?"_

"Spence…I'm calling you from the police station."

Her heart leapt up into her throat, and she got cold all over. "Wha – why? What happened? Toby did you do something?"

"No, no, it's nothing like that. It's…"

"What's happening?"

"Spencer." He sighed, "Spence, it's about Jason. They think he's dead."

**happy thanksgiving, darling readers! i hope you all enjoyed it, if you do celebrate it ;) thanks for all the wonderful reviews! **

**the story of will/hanna/caleb is still unfolding, as you see, and you'll see it come to a head within the next 2-3 chapters ;)**

**ohhh and then there's that thing with jason...what to do, what to do? ;)**

**keep your wonderful feedback coming, loves!**

**-AJ**


	39. You Love Someone But it Goes to Waste

Chapter 36:

When You Love Someone But It Goes to Waste

Spencer wasn't sure how she got to the police station. She recalled the sound of Toby's voice, and with it, the earth-shattering news that sent her world spiraling out of control. She remembered the low buzzing she heard in her ear, as Toby's voice began to sound a million miles away.

She was sure that she got in her car after that. After all, she couldn't have run all the way across town to the police station. But then again, Spencer didn't recall much from the moment. It was all a blur.

Breaking through the double doors of the station, she was quickly met with Toby's arms, holding her back as she threatened to scamper over to the nearest police officer and claw information out of them.

"Shh, Spencer…" Toby eased her, but she could barely hear him.

"What happened?!" She screamed at the police officer closest to her. He had short, dark brown hair and a shocked expression.

"Miss Hastings, if you could please just take a seat – " He tried.

"No, I need you to tell…to tell me…" She said, but her desperate tone soon turned weary. She suddenly felt limp in Toby's arms, and he held her upright.

"Spence," Toby started. "Can you come sit down for him?" He whispered gently in her ear.

He didn't tell her 'it'll be ok' or 'it's fine' because it wasn't either of those things. It was ok or fine. Her whole world was falling apart, one person at a time.

She nodded listlessly and Toby led her to a vacant seat before a detective's desk. Toby sat beside her, taking her hand in his.

"Miss Hastings, I'm extremely sorry to be the one to deliver the news of your brother's passing but…" The officer sighed, taking his seat on the other side of the desk.

"Just…please tell me what happened." The urgency Spencer had felt earlier had faded. Now, she was just tired, sober, and desperate.

The officer sighed and shook his head. "My partner and I were on our way up to the mountains to investigate a robbery in Doyle's Brooke. On our way, we saw a body on the side of an empty road. Stopping by it…well, it appeared as though the man had been killed by some sort of animal. We were guessing that he might have been…under the influence?"

"Jason was…I…I thought he said he's been sober for four years." Spencer's eyebrows furrowed and she looked to Toby for confirmation. He nodded in turn.

"Well, of course, nothing can be proven at this point, Miss Hastings." The officer continued. "But the body was too…mangled to make out the identity. The rain from the night before appeared to have covered it in mud and leaves. When we reached into the man's pocket…we found this." Reaching into a drawer beneath his desk, he fished a card out, and flipped Jason's ID onto the table in front of her. Spencer very cautiously picked it up, holding it delicately in her hands as if it was made of glass.

She shook her head, "No, no. Jason…Jason was just going out of town to clear his head after his house caught fire. He wouldn't…he didn't go _camping_ or anything. He wasn't exposed to harsh conditions."

"Well, Miss Hastings, it could have been murder as well."

The thought made Spencer's stomach drop even lower.

"There has to be some kind of mistake…" She insisted. Toby squeezed her hand but she felt strangely numb. Like she hadn't fully wrapped her arms around the idea.

"Well, if you can confirm that the other objects found aren't Mr. DiLaurentis'…" The officer opened the drawer again and pulled out a Ziploc baggie filled with various items.

Opening it, Spencer picked out a red flashlight, a pocket watch, and a wallet. Turning the flashlight over, she saw Jason's trademark initials engraved into the handle. She recognized the pocket watch immediately as the one his adopted father had given him for his eighteenth birthday – an heirloom from the DiLaurentis heritage. Opening the wallet, Spencer discovered a few pictures: one of Jason's mother, one of Ali, one of Spencer and Toby, and one of Jason and Spencer.

Her fingers were shaking by the time she put the last item down and Toby wasted no time in grasping her hand in his once more.

"Are those the belongings of the victim?" The officer asked, eyebrows raised.

Spencer swallowed, her hands feeling clammy. "Yes." She said softly, "Yes they are."

* * *

><p>It had been a full hour after Jason DiLaurentis was declared dead that Aria heard about it. She'd been out to dinner with Ezra, barely even past the breadbasket and wine, when she'd received an urgent call from Toby. His words cut in and out, but when the news became clear, Aria's stomach churned and bile rose in her throat.<p>

Oh no. Oh, God, no.

"What is it? Aria?" Ezra asked her, looking worried as her impassive face stared straight ahead. She dropped her phone into her bag and got up, not even waiting for the check as she made a dash for the door. She could hear Ezra clamber to get up behind her and run after her.

Once she reached her car, she began to yank and pull on the door handle. A few seconds later, it registered that the door was, in fact, locked. Behind her, Ezra unlocked it, pressing the button on his key. Tears were already welling up in her eyes, and she felt like she was going to throw up.

Ezra opened the door for her, and gently eased her into the car, shutting the door behind her. When he got into the driver's seat, he backed out of the parking lot and headed for the police station.

All Aria could think about was her last conversation with Jason – when he had asked her to keep the cause of the fire a secret.

The very same secret that ended his life.

If Aria had been smarter…if only she had told Spencer the truth. Maybe the two of them could have stopped Jason before he got too far into the woods.

A loud, cackling voice that was nothing short of as terrifying as –A sounded in the back of her head, chanting over and over:

_Your fault, your fault, it's all your fault._

* * *

><p>Truthfully, Hanna wasn't exactly in the position she would have wanted to be in upon hearing the news of Jason DiLaurentis' death.<p>

She was settled on Will's couch, the glass of champagne he'd poured her forgotten on the coffee table, letting her fingertips graze the stubble on his cheek as he kissed her softly.

In all honesty, Hanna wasn't even sure how they'd gotten to that point. After having a cup of coffee with her, Will had suggested that he give her a ride home. Instead of accepting his chivalrous offer, like a proper lady, Hanna longed for an extension of his amiable company, and had insisted that they go back to his apartment instead.

It wasn't that she was planning anything with him; she just simply wanted to keep talking. Somehow, she felt as though she could spend hours gabbing on and on with Will, about the most obscure concepts. Will was an excellent listener, and Hanna was an exceptional talker. Naturally, their personalities were compatible.

So he'd taken her there, to his apartment, for the first time. Hanna quite liked it – it was comfortable and contemporary, with little odds and ends that made it so purely Will: a Journey poster, a few ACDC records on the walls, and a clear bottle filled to the brim with different colored beach glass on the side table.

She'd felt his hands easing her jacket off behind her, and she shrugged out of it. Hanna took a few steps into the living room, letting her eyes graze over the walls.

"What?" Will asked with a slight chuckle.

"Hm? What do you mean?" She asked.

"You're giving the place the 'Hanna Look.'"

"What? No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"And what might the 'Hanna Look' be?"

"Well, a classic once-over; taking inventory of the area, figuring out what parts might need improvement and divulging ideas on how to change it."

Hanna shorted and playfully crossed her arms, "And I do this often, I assume?"

"Oh, all the time." He nodded, grinning as he disappeared into the kitchen. Hanna could hear the sound of him uncapping a champagne bottle and pouring two glasses. When he came out, he was holding them, just as she'd suspected.

"Well, I'm not." She replied as he handed her one of the glasses, "I'm just looking around."

"And do you like what you see?"

"I do. It's very…Will Lovat-ish."

Will snorted a laugh, "Will Lovat-ish? What is that, a perfume name?"

"It very well could be, you know." Hanna teased. She took a sip of the champagne and flopped down on the couch.

He sat beside her and set his drink on the table in front of her.

Needless to say, one thing had led to another, and sooner than later, Hanna had found herself leaning in to kiss him, and feeling his fingers weave into her hair.

But, as her butt began to vibrate with the ringing of her cell phone, she was sent flailing about, grasping onto Will's shoulder to keep from toppling off the sofa.

"What is it?" Will murmured.

"My phone…" She replied, fishing it out of her pocket. Reading the called ID, she answered it, "Spence?"

"Hey, Han…I uh…" It sounded like she'd been crying quite a bit.

"What's wrong? Spence, you're scaring me."

"Something…something happened, Hanna."

"What? Is it Toby?" Hanna asked, jumping to the worst-case scenario. Beside her, Will listened with earnest concern.

"What? No, no, Toby's fine." Spencer answered thickly. She sniffled. "It's Jason, Han."

"Did you find him?"

"Yeah, you…you could say that."

"Spence…?"

"He's dead, Hanna. They found his _body_." Hanna could hear Spencer's voice choke in a sob on the other end, followed by Toby's muffled voice cooing to her gently.

"Oh my God." Hanna's hand flew to her mouth and she began to have trouble breathing. "Oh God. I'll…I'll be right there."

"Hurry Han…" Spencer murmured, her voice condensed by tears.

"I will." She hung up, getting to her feet.

"What happened?" Will asked, concerned.

"Spencer's brother…they think he's dead." She replied, hurrying around the sofa and hastily collecting her coat.

"Whoa, oh God, is Spencer ok?" Will stood up and followed her.

"Not likely." She sighed. "I have to go and talk to her; figure out what happened."

Will nodded in understanding, his eyes bearing empathy.

"I'm sorry I can't stay." She apologized.

He smiled his sweet crooked smile and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "Go, be with your friend; tell Spencer I'm praying for her."

* * *

><p>Oddly enough, Spencer's news had come to Emily through the mouth of Noel Kahn, who she'd been unlucky enough to be caught in the same shopping line as her that night. She was supposed to go to Samara's apartment for drinks that evening, and had stopped at the grocery store to pick up some cheese and crackers for their snack.<p>

Emily could hardly remember the last time she'd spoken to Noel; it had to have been years, at least. Their last full on conversation was long ago, likely dating back to their high school graduation. So, naturally, it surprised her when she heard his snarky voice behind her:

"Hm, hot date tonight?"

She whirled around fast, coming face-to-face with the legendary grin that accompanied that tone. It was almost shocking to see him – the last she'd heard was that he'd gotten a football scholarship to LMU in southern California. Perhaps he was still at home for semester break.

"Maybe, what's it to you?" She asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Ooh, feisty now, aren't we? CalPoly made you tough?" He asked.

"Wouldn't know, I'm not going there anymore."

"Transferred to Hollis to be with the rest of Alison's posse?"

"No." She answered simply, already through with the conversation. She turned her back to him, her ponytail whipping around.

"I guess I'm just surprised that you're here instead of the police station." He said to her back.

"What?" She asked, still turned away, "Why would I be there?"

"I guess I just assumed that you were a good friend to Spencer."

"Who says I'm not?" She asked.

"I just thought you'd want to be with her right now, at such a crucial point in her life." Noel replied. "I mean, I was at the station earlier to pick up a friend, and I've never seen her break down like that before." His sharp-edged tone held true the entire time.

"Why would she break down?" She asked.

"Well, wouldn't you, if your brother was dead?"

At that, Emily turned back to him, her lips parted and her face a mask of confusion.

"Ah," Noel grinned like a Cheshire Cat, "Now I have your attention."

**sorry its been so long! my family is in the moving process, and it took FOREVER for us to get internet! i'll be uploading the next ch in a few hours' time ;)**

**keep the reviews coming! if i can get to 440 for the next two chs, i'll upload over the weekend ;)**

**-AJ**


	40. Lights Will Guide You Home

Chapter 37:

Lights Will Guide You Home

Toby hadn't considered the idea of Spencer losing someone that close to her. All his life, Toby was used to losing things. His mom, his dad to another woman, his innocence to his stepsister, his dignity to Alison.

But Spencer? Spencer had gone through more trouble that a girl ever should, but she'd always had her friends right by her, supporting her along the way.

And it nearly broke him to see her, curled up in a bawl, rocking back and forth against the hallway wall. She'd told him to take a shower after Hanna, Aria, and Emily had left for the night. By then, it was well past midnight, and full into Rosewood's witching hour. He'd been afraid of leaving her alone, but she'd insisted. He guessed that she'd wanted a moment to breathe, to collect her thoughts.

But as he emerged from the bathroom, dressed in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt for bed, he caught sight of her: she was huddled in the corner at the end of the hall, her eyes nearly glazed over, grasping the spare t-shirt the police had found in Jason's backpack.

After all this time, something had finally broken her. After Hanna, Melissa, Wren, Jenna, and the mugging, it was Jason's death that shook her to her core. He made his way over to her quickly, dropping to his knees beside her and pulling her into his arms.

"Shh…sh…hey, it's ok. You're alright." He murmured in her ear gently.

Rather than pressing closer to him, as she was so accustomed to do, she pushed away from him, shaking her head. "Don't tell me that. It's not true."

"Spence…"

"Toby, I…" She shook her head, "I'm so broken. You have no idea. It's too much…you don't…you don't _understand_."

Toby could have argued with her; he could have told her he knew _exactly_ what it was like to lose someone he loved. But in a way, she was right. Toby was born into his family, and molded and crafted and expected to love his mother. Naturally, her passing had wounded him deeply, but the loss differed from the one Spencer was experiencing. Spencer had never been told to love Jason. She could have easily kept the secret alive, pushed him away, refused contact with him. But she didn't. She'd made the choice to care for him, and love him, and accept him as her own true brother.

And now he was gone and she was left with a hole, a gaping dent inside her. She'd put so much effort into loving and trusting him, and for what? Just for him to drop dead at such a young age?

And Spencer…Spencer was strong. But she was still a woman – fragile and easily bruised. Naturally willing to trust with her soul and love with all the passion she knew how.

When people fled from her life…they took pieces of her with them.

Toby wondered if she'd ever be the same, after this. If she'd ever be whole.

If she'd ever be Spencer.

"I just…" Spencer shook her head.

"Tell me, Spence. Help me understand." He pleaded, brushing pieces of hair off of her sopping wet cheeks.

She shook her head, "I can't, Toby. You…you want to _fix_ me!" She said, suddenly exasperated, "And I…I can't be fixed."

"I – "

"You're whole and I'm broken!" She sobbed, nearly delirious. "I'm just life's punching bag and I…I can't hold it together anymore."

"Then let it out." He coaxed her. "Let me be there to help pick up the pieces. Let me help you."

But she shook her head again. "You can't." She replied thickly. Suddenly, she got to her feet, "I need to fix myself _by_ myself. I can't tug you down with me; I can't…I can't expect you to understand."

"Spencer – " Toby looked up at her, his eyes pleading.

"No." She cut him off. Before she knew it, she was heading for the door. "I need to be alone. I can't do this right now. You can't…you can't fix me right now."

Before he could even follow her, she was gone, Jason's shirt in her hand, and her heart in a million pieces.

* * *

><p>After leaving Spencer and Toby's apartment, Hanna found herself driving aimlessly around town. She parked in front of Saks, which was dark and closed for the night, and stared at the display window from her car. Those black boots were nice, she noted, and the new scarves were to die for.<p>

Hanna wondered why everything bad – the completely unthinkable – was now happening, all at once. She thought about the concept of God hating them for some wrong they'd all committed recently.

Other than showing each other love and support, she couldn't think of anything.

Then, she idly wondered if Caleb knew. If he was still home. The new semester didn't start for a good week and a half, but after she had scampered out of his apartment that morning…it would have been too easy for him to convince himself to leave early.

She'd made so, so many mistakes. Led two wonderful men on when in reality, she didn't have any idea what she really wanted.

Before she knew what she was doing, her fingers reached into her bag and felt around for her cell phone. When she found it, she quickly dialed a number, and held it to her ear.

"Hello?" The voice picked up after two rings.

"Caleb?" She asked, her voice empty and hoarse, "It's…it's Hanna. Can you come and get me?"

He was silent for a moment. "Where are you?"

"Parked in front of Saks down by campus."

"Is anyone with you?"

"No."

"Ok. I'll be right there."

* * *

><p>The coffee at Lola's was weak, Spencer thought as she took another sip of the cup the waitress had poured for her. She hunched over the mug, pressing all of her weight on her elbows against the table.<p>

The quiet diner had been one of the only places open so late, with its signature "Open 24 Hours!" advertisement blinking in the window. After Spencer had left Toby in a blind haze, she'd come there, parking her car out front and ordering a cup of coffee – black as ink.

It wasn't that she was _angry_ at Toby…she just…well, she actually wasn't sure. He was just being a good boyfriend – _fiancée _– trying to comfort her in her time of need, but she just didn't feel like he fully understood how much this hurt her. That if he comforted her enough, she could just get over it and move on with her life.

She'd been so strong for so very long. It was starting to get extremely taxing on her soul.

The soul is a lot like an eraser, she thought idly, and loss is what rubs it, rubs it harder and harder, until all it is is a pile of shavings.

Or maybe hers had just turned into something as black as this coffee.

Ultimately, she thought about Jason. His face the last time she'd seen him. Right before he had left on the trip that would end his life.

He'd been such a good brother to her. And what had she done? Called him maybe once a week, let him lock himself away when he got his mood problems, rather than helping him cope with him.

Accused him of killing Alison when she was in high school.

She leaned her forehead on her palm and blew a strand of hair out of her face.

"You should go back to your boyfriend, you know." A voice said from behind her.

She sat up straighter and turned to see the waitress – the only one working Lola's tonight – speaking to her from behind the bar.

"How do you know I have a boyfriend?" She asked, turning back around.

The waitress rounded the side of the bar and approached her table, coffee pot in hand. When she reached Spencer, she promptly poured more of the tar-colored liquid into her cup, filling it to the brim.

"Please," the waitress waved her hand at Spencer, as if it were obvious. "Cute girl like you? Drinking black coffee? Looking like a serial killer? Either you have one hell of a boyfriend, or you just escaped from Radley."

Spencer chuckled a bit at that. "Yeah," she replied. "I do have a boyfriend. A fiancée, actually." She held up her left hand, flashing the engagement ring.

Spencer guessed that the waitress was in her mid-twenties, maybe a year or two older than Spencer, since she'd never seen her at Hollis. Her hair was dark brown, with caramel-colored streaks weaving in and out of her ponytail. Her eyes were large and grey, and she had a slight sprinkling of freckles across her tiny nose.

"Ah, see? I'm brilliant." She teased. "Now how long have you two been together?"

"Four years."

"And did he kick you out or something?"

"No. I left."

"Forever?"

"No. Just for the night. I just wanted to be alone."

"What, is he sleeping with your sister?" She asked. "Because that's how my last boyfriend got kicked out of _my_ house."

Spencer snorted a laugh. "No. No, he's definitely not. Plus, my sister does enough sleeping around on her own – she doesn't need my fiancée."

"Then why did you leave?"

Spencer opened her mouth and sighed. "Well…it's kind of a hard thing to explain."

"Try me." The waitress smiled. She set down the pot of coffee and pulled out the chair across from her, taking a seat. She folded her hands beneath her chin and smiled expectantly.

Spencer sighed again and sat up so that she could fold the coffee mug between her palms. "These past few months…have been really hard on me. And…he's always been there for me, but sometimes…I don't feel like he _understands._"

"Well, can you blame him? It's not like _he's_ going through this stuff."

"I know." Spencer replied. "That's why I'm confused and torn. I don't know if I feel angry…maybe it's just that I feel alone."

"Well, he's supportive, isn't he?"

"Always."

"How long have you been with him?"

"Four years. Since high school."

"Did you guys like tutor each other or something?"

"Or something…"

"What?"

"I…" Spencer laughed. "I tutored him our junior year."

"Did you know him beforehand?"

"Well…" Spencer chuckled. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Again, try me."

"I…" She laughed again. "I originally accused him of murdering my best friend."

The waitress' eyes went wide and she laughed. "Wow. How did you slip that one under the radar? 'Oh yes, honey, of course I love you. And the file on my desk labeled 'Clues as to Why You're A Killer' means nothing.'"

Spencer laughed. "We…grew to trust each other. And I learned that he was actually the most loving and gentle person I know."

"Wow, this is like a movie, bro!"

"Not the first time it's been called that…" She giggled.

"And he's good to you?"

"He's…he's a wonderful man."

"And uh, do we have a picture of him? You know, just for reference…" The waitress said coyly.

Spencer laughed, "Yeah." She pulled out her phone, flipping through her photo album until she found her favorite picture of them – the one from last summer, when Hanna had been playing with her camera, and caught a shot of them laughing together. Toby's arm was around her shoulders, and he was laughing into her hair while she giggled into her hand. The sight of them so happy together…made Spencer smile.

"Oh, yeah, and he's cute too? Honey, you're very lucky." The waitress said.

"I know." She smiled. "I am."

"And there's really no reason to be mad, is there?"

"No. I guess not." Spencer replied, still grinning softly.

"Come on, girl." She said, "Dump this shitty coffee and go let Prince Charming hold you while you cry over whatever this is you're going through."

"It's uh…it's Romeo, actually." Spencer replied with a coy smile, still staring down at the picture.

The waitress smiled and flipped her ponytail as she began to walk away, back to the bar.

"Hey," Spencer turned in her chair to look at her, "What's your name?"

The waitress looked back at her, "AJ." She replied.

"And what's that short for?"

AJ smiled – a coy smile, as if there was some inside joke that went along with this. "Avery Jane. But I think that that is the most ridiculous name ever. So it's AJ."

"AJ." Spencer repeated. She looked back down at the photo of she and Toby. "Hey, would – " She started, but when she looked up, AJ was gone.

* * *

><p>"What're you thinking about?" Caleb asked Hanna, who had been silent the entire time he'd been there.<p>

"Stuff."

"Jason stuff?"

"Some of it."

"What's the rest of it?"

"Just stuff." Hanna shrugged.

"Okay, Hanna, did you call me for a reason? Because so far this is the least I've ever heard you say."

Hanna shook her head. "I can't figure anything out, Caleb. Not you, not me, not…" She almost said Will's name, but turned her head to look out the car window.

From the passenger's seat, Caleb leaned towards her, "Hey." He said, using his finger to tip her chin towards him. "Is that the reason why you left that morning?"

Hanna's eyes were downcast and she sighed, shaking her head. "It's complicated."

"No, Hanna, it isn't." Caleb said forcibly, causing her to look up at him. "Everything else in your life may be complicated, be we are the only thing that has ever made complete sense in the world."

"Hanna and Caleb." She chimed in softly, not even realizing it. Her lips were a soft smile.

"Caleb and Hanna." He replied, the same smile stretching across his face.

"I'm sorry I left." She said gently as his finger traced down her cheek.

"Which time?"

"Every time."

Caleb nodded, furrowing his eyebrows. He continued to trace the shape of her face.

"I just wish I'd said that sooner." She sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He answered. "I have you here, now. And that's enough."

She smiled and laid her head on his shoulder across the console as he pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head. For the first time in ages, Hanna didn't feel like crying when she was hugged.

She felt whole.

* * *

><p>Toby looked up from his desk, where he'd been idly trying to focus on house blueprints to keep from chasing Spencer all over town. After she'd left, he'd paced the room for nearly an hour, trying to figure out a way to patch things up – even though he was unsure what had tore the hole in the first place. Finally, he'd chalked it all up to her stress and settled down to work. Of course, he hadn't gotten more than two minutes into it before his mind wandered to her again, and how she'd forgotten her jacket and was probably cold, and how she couldn't drive well when she was crying…<p>

_Knock, knock_.

He turned around in his chair to see her, standing in the doorway, smiling softly and cautiously.

"Hi." She said gently.

"Hey." He replied, just as carefully. He slowly got to his feet. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." She said softly. "I think so." She smiled. Her face was still red from crying and her eyes were bloodshot, but she wasted to time in reaching for his hand. "I'm sorry I walked out."

He nodded. "It's ok. I wasn't giving you space."

"No, no." She shook her head. "You were being wonderful. You _are_ wonderful." She stepped closer. "I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have a someone like you in my life."

He smiled and reached out to lightly stroke her cheek.

"Thank you for always fixing me." She said sweetly.

He grinned and stooped to wrap his arms around her tiny waist, lifting her off the ground and into his arms, turning her in a circle.

"You aren't broken, Spence." He whispered in her ear as she buried her face in his shoulder. "You're the strongest, smartest, most beautiful person I've ever known."

"I wouldn't be half that, if it weren't for you." She smiled. "Well, I mean, I'd still be beautiful, but…" He recognized the teasing tone in her voice and chuckled.

Pulling back, he kissed her forehead, "I love you, Juliet."

"I love you too, Romeo."

Spencer realized that Toby wasn't just a _part_ of her life; he _was _her life. He understood her on a level that no one else did. He was there for her always, even when she tried to push him away. Their paths were now one tether string, unable to be separated. He was in her skin, in her soul, in her blood, in her veins.

She smiled as he kissed her gently, as is her lips were a delicate rose, capable of easy bruising. Even as the world fell to chaos around them, they'd always be there, standing strong, like a light in the dark. They rose together from the ashes, hand in hand, unable to be anything but what they already knew they were.

And, to Spencer, that was the definition of true love.

**told you i'd update early!**

**ive been honestly wondering if this will be the last chapter i post of this story. lately i've been getting a lot of anon hate mail (not just in reviews, but in anon on tumblr) regarding this story. i delete a lot of it or dont respond to it, but that doesnt mean it doesnt hurt me. i write this story b/c i love to write, and i like putting my ideas to paper (or type, whichever). and i like constructive criticism, i do. but sometimes its just someone spewing hate about an opinion i have or how i write. honestly, if you want something written a certain way, then you write it yourself. really, i cant do what everyone wants me to all the time. sometimes i feel like no actually likes this story (b/c of all the hate mail), hence the reason i hope to get a goal of reviews by the end of a chapter. if i read people's positive feedback (from my lovely reviewers that are always sticking by me), it makes me feel like this story is worth completing. b/c honestly, it kind of hurts to put myself thru the pain of imagining my otp as a happy couple without toby being a, write it all down, and then have people hate on it. i dont know, maybe it's just me.**

**so i havent decided yet, but thank you to all of the people who have supported me. i love you all so, so much **

**-AJ**


	41. Author's Note 3

**hello faithful readers!**

**So, first of all, I would like to say thank you all soooo much for you positive reviews and encouragement! You're truly the light of my lives ;)**

**So, because of all of you lovely people, I have decided to continue with this story. I realized that you all were right - haters will always hate, but I shouldn't stop doing what I love: writing.**

**Unfortunately, I've been quite busy with the holidays this week, and have been lacking in inspiration. But fear not! - for I'm free tomorrow and the day after Christmas, so a new chapter will (hopefully) be up tomorrow at the earliest and friday at the latest!**

**I just wanted to thank you all so very very much for all of your sweetness. You're truly the reason and purpose for this story. I love you to infinity and beyond ;)**

**Merry Christmas!**

**AJ**


	42. Taking All the Shattered Ones

Chapter 38:

Taking All the Shattered Ones

By seven thirty at night, Aria's coffee from that morning had long since lost its heat. A milky film was starting to solidify over the top, and the cold mug sat clasped between her palms, her eyes focused aimlessly on the cloudy liquid.

It had been two days since Jason's death – 48 guilt-filled hours, endless ticks of the clock – and Aria had barely moved off of the couch.

Everything she thought about, she thought about Jason. How he trusted her, how he asked her not to tell Spencer about what had happened.

How she had paradoxically betrayed him by doing so.

In these past few months, Jason hadn't been the same. She'd seen it, but maybe had been just too preoccupied to do anything about it.

The door creaked open, and Ezra stepped in, fresh from work, and dappled with raindrops from the outside. "Hey, I tried to call and ask if you wanted me to pick up something for dinner – " He started, but stopped when he turned and saw her, frozen on the couch, clutching the mug of coffee in her hands.

"Oh, God, Aria." He dropped his briefcase and knelt before her in front of the couch, taking the mug from her and placing it on the coffee table. He wrapped his hands around hers. "How long have you been sitting here?"

She shook her head.

"Aria, I understand that it's been a shock but, – " He started.

"It's my fault, Ezra." She said softly, and she felt tears well up in her eyes.

The past two nights, Ezra had had to hold Aria while she cried herself to sleep, but he had just assumed that the grief was related to the loss of a friend, and the last bit she had of Alison.

This was something new, indeed.

"Aria, that can't possibly be true." Ezra said carefully, "What would ever possess you to think that?"

She shook her head again, and her chin started wobbling. "I knew that Jason was getting into drugs again. And he told me not to tell Spencer."

"Oh, Aria…"

"And I didn't." She continued, her voice shaking. Ezra squeezed her hands gently and bowed his head. "I did exactly what he asked me to, and he died because of it. If I had been smarter…"

"Aria." Ezra said seriously. He took her face in his hands and looked deeply into her eyes. "You were being a good friend. You had no idea this was going to happen. You cannot blame yourself for this."

"Then why do I feel so guilty?" She asked, her broken voice barely audible.

"Because you're one of the most compassionate souls on this planet." He replied. "You see things, you understand them, and you feel everything; it's not an uncommon thing to feel, Aria. Guilt and grief come from all sorts of things."

She nodded in understanding. She chocked softly on a sob and bowed her head, her face furrowed in sorrow. Ezra got up and sat beside her, pulling her into his arms, and gently rocking her until her delirium dissolved into quiet whimpers.

* * *

><p>Melissa heard about Jason's death way later than she should've. It was right after she suspected her life couldn't get any more miserable.<p>

After driving in a blind haze home from her doctor's appointment, she received the call from Spencer's cell phone. She'd expected it to be her sister, but Toby's voice reported the news to her on the other end. Her heart thudded to a stop and it was as if all the air had been vacuumed out of her lungs. She gasped for breath and hung up on Toby mid-sentence. Desperately, she swerved over to the side of the empty road, parking along the curb.

She still couldn't breathe. Her stomach – which was no longer harboring her child – was in knots.

First Wren. Then the baby. Now this.

She was so sick of people leaving her. Selfishly, she was angry, and not so much sad. She leaned her head on the steering wheel and heaved out a loud shriek of anger, followed by a chocked-back sob. One hand over her stomach, she opened the car door and got out of her car, beginning to walk aimlessly down the empty road. She left the car in the distance, not knowing where she was even going. From her fingers hung a sonogram of a child that was no longer living, a figment of her memory, just like Jason now was.

Melissa Hastings, who had dealt with death time and time again, was done. Completely and totally done. Given up, kicked to the wind, tired of life.

And, as she walked down the bare, vacant road, she left the rest of her life in her tracks.

* * *

><p>Never before had sunlight felt so cold, thought Spencer, as the golden halo of light lay across her face. Toby hand, gentle and careful, continued to stroke from her hair all the way down her bare back, and then back up again. She knew he knew that she was awake. And she also knew that he knew that she didn't want to open her eyes.<p>

The funeral was supposed to be that weekend, two days before the new semester started. It was Friday, meaning that she only had one day to prepare it.

It was safe to say she wasn't ready.

Of course, she knew she'd never be ready. After all, what kind of closure would she get if they barely even had a body to bury? The gory image made Spencer's skin crawl.

"Did you call Melissa?" She asked hoarsely.

"Yes." He replied. She'd gone to bed uncharacteristically early the previous night, and he was left to call Melissa by himself.

She nodded and curled her fingers deeper into his t-shirt.

"It's okay," He murmured, "you can cry."

She shook her head. "No." She said. "I don't think I have any tears left." He sat up and reached for her tank top beside the bed, pulling it over her head. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her thin body, pressing his lips against her shoulder.

"You're so strong," He murmured, "not a day goes by where I'm not in awe of you."

She snorted. "Yeah, okay."

"It's true." He said, pressing his face into her hair. "It's crazy how strong you are sometimes."

She smiled, feeling his heat, warming her in a way the sunlight couldn't.

"You make me that way." She said. "You give me a reason to be strong."

She felt him smiling against the back of her neck and she wrapped her arms around his.

"Hanna called for you." He said.

She nodded. "Okay. I'll call her after breakfast."

* * *

><p>"So, is Caleb staying or going?" Spencer asked quietly over the brim of her mug.<p>

Hanna shrugged. The sweat-clad blonde sat across from her, staring at her untouched mug of coffee. The two had barely spoken since Hanna's arrival, just sat at the table and glanced at one another.

"He's going, I think. I mean, he's signed up for the new semester." She shrugged again.

"And, uh, what about Will?"

Hanna shrugged yet again, and this time, Spencer was sure Hanna didn't have an answer.

"Are you going to end things with him?"

"I don't know."

"What about Caleb?"

"I love him. That's it."

"But he's leaving?"

"Yes."

"And where does that leave you?"

"Utterly alone and confused." Hanna sighed and picked up the mug.

Spencer gave a wry, bittersweet smile and sighed, too. "I'm sorry, Han."

"It's alright. It's all my fault, anyway." She said. "I care about, Will, too. And I know that he cares about me. He wants me to be happy. And he's given me a lot."

"He has." Spencer agreed.

"But Caleb…" She shook her head. "The whole thing gives me a headache."

"Me, too." Spencer replied honestly.

"Why does everything bad happen to us?" Hanna groaned miserably.

"I don't know, Han. I just don't know."

* * *

><p>Strangers bring interesting guidance.<p>

Not everyone knew that like Emily did. She'd received loads of help from random strangers throughout her life, in forms of advice or just self-confidence.

That night, as she sat, alone, on a barstool in Hollis Bar & Grill, she received yet another piece of help from a stranger. This time, it was in the shape of the bartender on duty that night.

"Why are you all alone?" The man asked. She looked up to see him standing behind the counter, wiping the surface of the table with a rag.

She blinked. He looked at her expectantly.

"Oh, all of my friends were busy tonight." She replied. She seemed to recognize him a bit, his bright, crooked smile, his wide brown eyes, his tousled dark hair. He must be a student at Hollis, she decided.

"And you downing Templeton Rye on the rocks means what?" He asked. She looked up and saw him arch his eyebrow, still wearing a smile.

"My best friend's brother just died. And nothing has been exactly working out for any of us recently."

"I'm sorry to hear that." He said, and he sounded like he actually meant it.

"And my girlfriend and I are kind of fighting. Not like anything serious, but I think we're just…getting to that part in our relationship."

"Again, I'm sorry." He replied empathetically. "It probably doesn't help that this music sucks." He motioned overhead, referring to an old song that Emily barely recognized, playing from the speakers.

She snorted. "It doesn't really matter."

"Oh yes it does." He insisted. "Music is the soundtrack to life, little miss." She smiled.

"What, are you in a band or something?"

"Or something." He grinned, reaching behind the counter to grab a glass. He grabbed the soda fountain hose and filled the cup to the brim with water, setting it in front of her. "Here, it'll help with the hangover you might be in for in the morning."

Emily laughed. "Okay, thanks."

"Here, you know what'll help you?"

"What?" She replied with a coy smile.

"Some actual music." He turned and disappeared behind the bar, stooping low. She leaned over the edge of the bar, curious as to what he was doing. When he stood up again, he had retrieved a filmy CD sleeve from beneath the bar. Handing it to her, he said, "Here you go."

"What's this?" She asked.

"A mix CD." He answered, as if it were obvious. "I made this one for my sister, but it looks like you might need it more."

"What will a mix CD do for me?" She asked, doubtfully.

"With that attitude, nothing. With an open mind, nearly everything." The bartender grinned, his dimple sinking into his cheek.

"Alright." She couldn't help smiling back. "I'll go home and listen to it, then."

"Good. Ditch the Scotch. You won't be making many good choices tomorrow if you're hungover." He winked.

Emily slipped the mix CD into her shoulder bag and slid off of the barstool. "Thank you." She smiled.

"I hope it helps." He waved as she headed for the door.

Already, Emily knew it would.

**i know this chapter is a bit of a downer, but fear not! my next chapter will be much more in depth, etc, and will finally start tie up the story of will/hanna/caleb ;) sorry it took so long to update! i was without wifi in my vacation home all break!**

**live love spoby,**

**AJ**


	43. Closet Full of Skeletons

Chapter 39:

Closet Full of Skeletons

"You okay?" Ezra's voice asked Aria from behind her. She stood, facing out the window of their apartment, arms crossed, eyes on the Rosewood skyline. She jumped slightly and looked over her shoulder. Ezra, fresh from a shower, tightened the belt of his robe and approached her, dropping a kiss on the top of her head.

She nodded, saying nothing more. Ezra understood.

After a moment, she leaned her head back slightly on his shoulder, "You know, when Ali and I were little…we used to joke around about Jason being some kind of superhero…you know, how they all have double lives? And his façade was some kind of lost, weary teenager." She laughed – a short, bitter sound. "And that he had some kind of super hero suit in the back of his closet." She smiled at the memory.

Ezra chuckled slightly – a bittersweet laugh as well – and kissed her temple.

"He was my superhero, though." She continued. "He lost everything and still tried to get through. At least…up until the very end. But he put his friends first. And that," she said, "is one of the best superpowers anyone can have."

"He was a good man." Ezra agreed.

That afternoon, at the funeral…Aria had to play piano for the chorus. It was a sick notion when she thought about it now, as the sun settled behind the horizon and night swept over the town, playing an old Coldplay song, for a dead man, for an empty casket, for a room full of broken people, in the middle of a graveyard.

Death. It was a powerful thing. Funerals were even more so. Still dressed in black, Aria pondered the idea of their darkness. How something that was supposed to celebrate someone's life…almost always resulted in collaborated pain over someone's death.

_Closure_ _my ass_, thought Aria as Ezra tightened his grip on her, keeping her warm when the cold of the night threatened to shake her.

"Come on, come to bed." Ezra whispered to her. "I'll hold you, if you need me too."

That sounds nice, Aria decided, and took Ezra's hand as he led her back into the bedroom.

* * *

><p>"Well, at least the Melissa and baby crisis has been averted." Spencer said bitterly, without the slightest bit of a filter.<p>

Toby looked up at her skeptically, knowing that the harshness of her words didn't match the true feeling in her heart.

She sighed. "I know, I don't really mean it. You know I love babies." She said, "But you know, at least she won't have to deal with telling Wren anymore."

"What Wren? As far as I know he dropped off the face of the planet." Toby scoffed, handing her a glass of Bourbon and sitting beside her on the sofa.

Spencer was surprisingly talkative that night, especially after a funeral like that. Funerals were for the living, she'd decided. It barely even related to Jason's death.

Toby put an arm around her and she pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you." She said softly, taking a sip of the drink. He kissed her hair in return as she stared aimlessly at the wall.

"What are you thinking of?" Toby asked her.

"Thought it would be obvious."

"I know you're not thinking about Jason; at least not right now."

"Well, you're wrong." She replied. "Well, maybe you're a little right. I'm thinking about what happened to him. Like, what ever possessed him to…do such a thing."

"People always look for outlets to their own personal suffering; it isn't outlandish for Jason to relapse on his drug addiction."

Spencer shook her head and sighed again, "Yeah, I just thought that he was stronger than that." She took another sip of her drink.

Spencer was at a numb point where she couldn't even cry anymore. She couldn't feel sorrow, only confusion. She just wanted to know what had happened and why.

The frustrating part was that Jason wouldn't be living across town anymore, where she could call him up and ask him. She may never know the whole story.

Noticing that her body had become tense, Toby gently reached over and took the drink from her hands. "Here," he said under his breath as he set both of their drinks on the coffee table in front of them. Before Spencer could inquire about his intentions, he drew her into his warm body, sliding her into his lap and wrapping his arms around her. She kicked off her black ballet flats and tucked her feet against her, pressing her face along his throat as his arms tightened around her.

"Spencer," he started softly, his hands making their way up and down her back, "you are the best sister anyone could ever have."

His words brought tears to her eyes, not only because she felt like an _awful_ sister, but because she would no longer fully be one. She blinked a few times to keep the tears from pouring down her cheeks, and cuddled closer to him. "Thank you." She whispered hoarsely.

"And I know that you'll be the best wife ever, too." He murmured, his fingers absently playing with her hair.

She snorted, "Promise you'll stick by me even when I burn the food?"

"Through good times and bad."

"And you'll take care of me when I'm sick? You know I'm a baby when I'm sick."

"In sickness and in health." He replied, pushing all of her hair away from her face and kissing her forehead.

"Even when I spend all of our money on frivolous things, like proposal watches that end up getting stolen?"

"For richer or for poor…" His lips continued down a path along her cheek, his teeth gently grazing her earlobe. She shivered in response.

"Forever?"

"As long as we both shall live." He said finally, and with that, he pulled back and kissed her lips, softly and gently, as if they might bruise.

When she pulled away, he ran his hand through her hair again, and offered her a soft, easy, bittersweet smile. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he got to his feet, cradling her in his arms, and carried her down the hall to bed.

* * *

><p>It was amazing how fast a bottle of Chardonnay could go, thought Hanna absently as she tapped her manicured nails against the surface of the table. Just a few drinks before there's only one drop left and the party's over.<p>

Hanna hadn't even bothered to change out of the black lace mini she'd worn that day – the day she watched Jason's DiLaurentis' empty casket get lowered into the ground. The day she watched her best friend deliver a speech about life and all it holds. Spencer had always been a master at speeches. But today, Hanna sensed that something was off. She'd spewed a bunch of crap about how Jason lived a fulfilling life, and touched everyone at the funeral in a different way, and how the sun would shine just that much brighter now that he was watching over them from above.

Will had been right; funerals were for the living. For the people that just want to hear that "everything will be ok" and get on with their own selfish desires. Funerals don't give closure; they just serve as deadbolts, holding the closet door closed as more and more skeletons try to claw their way free.

Will had offered to come over after the funeral, make sure that she got home safely, but she had kindly refused. Will was much too human for her sometimes; he always saw the glass as half full. Sometimes, the world was just full of half-empty glasses, and sometimes, the most inspiring people are the ones that brought nothing to the table.

"Cheers, Jason." Hanna said grimly, raising her glass to an invisible figure sitting across from her, and tossing back the last sip of her drink. When she set it down, she licked her lips and let her eyes trace the circumference of the cup.

Suddenly, she heard a rattling noise, and looked over her shoulder to see her apartment doorknob being jostled.

Immediately thrown into panic, Hanna looked around for something to use as a weapon. Finding nothing more than an old broom and a candlestick, she carefully got to her feet, uneasily making her way towards the door. Her hands were clammy, so she wiped them on her dress. Who would even be coming here so late? After a Rosewood funeral that everyone knew about?

"Spence?" She called out carefully, her voice apprehensive. When no one answered her, she got even more worried.

The sound of a key being inserted into the lock made Hanna jump like a deer, and she wondered who would even have a key for her apartment. Expect…

"Hanna?" Caleb's voice said as the doorknob turned and his head peaked inside. Her heart skipped a beat, but her nerves washed away like an ocean wave. He pushed the rest of the door open, and she could see that two of his suitcases were behind him, and his trademark backpack was slung over one shoulder.

She furrowed her eyebrows and stared at his stoic expression.

"I got off the plane." He said, shaking his head, almost in disbelief.

Slowly, Hanna's expression changed from confusion to something that resembled relief, and before she knew it, she was running across the carpet, her bare feet not carrying her fast enough. He dropped his bag and within seconds, she was in his arms, buried in his soothing warmth.

He buried his face in her hair, and she smiled gleefully into his shoulder, her eyes closed in pure bliss. She laughed gleefully in the back of her throat, and he tightened his arms around her.

They stayed like that, in their own little infinity, enjoying the feel of each other's love. And Hanna finally remembered what the word 'home' felt like.

* * *

><p>Spencer's dreams were torturous all night; she'd wake up from one about being chased through a garden by the grim reaper, only to go back to sleep and return to a nightmare about watching Jason get hit by an oncoming truck, and then suddenly become the driver of that truck.<p>

"I think the universe is trying to tell me something." Spencer groaned softly, rolling onto her stomach after yet another tormented dream.

"Like what?" Toby asked, gently rubbing her back over her silk nightgown.

"Like I'm an awful sister." She replied with her face half-buried in a pillow.

"Now why," Toby began to softly pet her matted hair, "would the universe be saying that? Sounds like either the universe is a liar, or you're not interpreting its message correctly."

She snorted a soft laugh and shook her head, "Why didn't I go after Jason, Toby?" She asked. "I could've helped him get out of the rut. He wouldn't have had to turn to drugs. I could've saved him."

"Spence…" He shook his head. "Babe, you can't keep blaming yourself. Really, it isn't your fault. You keep trying to make everyone else happy; all I'm worried about is if _you're_ happy."

She sighed, opening her mouth to say something, but didn't.

"I won't say anything else," Toby continued. "I know you don't want me to; but come here." He said, wrapping an arm around her. She smiled sadly and scooted closer, cuddling up to his warmth. He held her tightly, softly inhaling the fragrance of her skin as he pressed his face to her cheek. Thankfully, he'd shaved that morning before the funeral, so nothing scratched her face as he held her.

A few hours later, Spencer awoke again, but this time to the sound of something being dropped in the kitchen. Still tangled up with Toby, their legs intertwined, she fought to look over her shoulder and squinted to see the red letters on the side table clock. 2:30.

She listened for a few more seconds, and when no other sounds followed the first, she chalked it up to being part of her dream and curled back up against Toby. He made a sleeping sound in the back of his throat and she pulled the haphazardly thrown covers over them.

But, a few minutes later, a sound alike to that of footsteps startled her awake, and she untangled her limbs from Toby's.

Listening carefully, she tried to make out another sound over the hammering thunder of her nervous heartbeat. She _swore_ she'd heard something…

_Thunk_. There it was again. Looking back at Toby, sound asleep after being woken up multiple times from her night terrors, she sighed and climbed off the bed.

She quietly moved towards the closet, and carefully retrieved Toby's crowbar from behind his work boots. Holding it behind her, poised to hit, she made her way for the bedroom door. Once she'd slinked into the hallway, she could see a candle lit in the kitchen. She covered her mouth to keep from gasping, and took a deep breath to steady herself. Carefully, she slithered down the hall, towards the light. Her eyes caught sight of a trail of muddy footprints, and she gulped. She contemplated hurrying back to the bedroom to wake Toby, but she feared that whoever was in the kitchen would hear her scrambling and get to her before she could reach him.

Swallowing her fears, she kept walking, slowly, the swishing of her silk nightgown the only sound to be heard.

Once she made it to the open kitchen doorway, she saw a hooded silhouette, hunched over the counter, illuminated by the glow of the candle. She clapped her hand over her mouth again, ghostly memories of –A returning to her in a flash. Her fingers reached for the light switch at the same time the hooded figure turned upon hearing her gasp. Once she'd flicked the light on, her arm holding the crowbar dropped to her thigh.

_"Jason?"_

_**sorry for taking so long m'loves! this season has been really hard lately :/ and i've had a lot of personal shit that's been going on :(**_

_**nevertheless, i love that you all are still pulling for spoby ;) thanks for always being amazing!**_

_**-AJ**_


	44. This Could Kill Me

Chapter 40:

This Could Kill Me

"Wait, so you're saying that you've been pretending to be dead for all this time? What the hell, Jason?!" Spencer asked, angrily batting her hands on her brother's arm. Jason jerked away and let out a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingertips.

Toby, looking heavily burdened with sleep, leaned against his forearms on the counter and bowed his head. "Spencer – "

"No! I have the right to be angry, Toby! I just gave his damn eulogy after all! For God's sake, I quoted _A Tale of Two Cities_ and had to pinch the inside of my wrist to keep from crying!" She turned back to Jason, her arms crossed tightly over her chest, her eyes narrowed and glaring.

"Just let him talk, Spence." Toby said softly. He reached out to put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, but upon seeing her expression, faltered and dropped it.

The room was silent for a moment and Spencer took a long, frustrated breath. "Fine." She said, taking a step closer to Jason. "Talk."

Now it was Jason's turn to take a breath or two. He got up from his seat on the barstool, paced back and forth once, while cracking his knuckles, and then took his seat once more. "Do you know how the fire actually started, Spencer?"

Her eyes dropped to her feet. "I thought the curtains caught fire."

Jason nodded. "They caught fire from an old joint I had."

Spencer's eyes shot up to Jason's. "So what the police said was true, then? You were still abusing drugs? Even if it wasn't what 'killed' you?"

Jason let out a sigh and his lips formed a thin line. He nodded.

Spencer snorted. "Wow." She said, "I can't believe this. And all that talk you had about changing and growing, that was all bull, then, huh?"

"I did want to change. But you have no idea how hard this has been for me."

"Hard for you?! Are you _kidding_ me?!" Spencer shrieked, finally snapping. "This past year has been _hell_ for me, Jason! I've been dealing with Melissa, Taylor, Wren, Hanna, getting assaulted in an alleyway, being in a _coma_, trying to cope with your _death!"_

"Easy, Spence." Toby grasped her upper arms as she made a threatening move towards Jason, her fists posed to hit.

"What did you think you were going to do?! Just disappear without saying goodbye?"

"I wanted to say goodbye but when I saw that guy on the side of the road after the lightning storm…I knew I had to act fast if I wanted a quick getaway."

"We _buried_ a body under your name, Jason! Some dead guy that we don't even know is rotting in a coffin underneath a gravestone with your name on it. His family is never going to get the closure they deserve!"

"I know him, Spence. His name was Riley Parker; I used to work for him. He was the most miserable soul I've ever met. No family, no friends, not even a cat to call his companion." Jason tried to reason.

Still practically frothing at the mouth, Spencer demanded, "And how did you know it was him?"

"The same way the police thought it was me; his ID. I took his wallet and replaced it with my own. The body was too marred for anyone to know the difference."

Spencer shook her head. "How could you let me believe that you were dead?" She asked, her voice now barely a whisper.

"It's complicated, Spencer. Very, very complicated. I've lost everything, and the last thing I wanted was to take you down with me."

"Were you planning on coming back all along?"

"No. Truthfully, I wasn't. I wanted you to get closure with this, like everyone else eventually would."

"Then why did you show up here in the first place?"

"It sounds…crazy, but…I was planning on assuming a new identity. I was on my way to the courthouse in Boston to make everything official. I was planning to go to my parents' summer home on Bramble, Cape Cod. But then, I realized that you still had the key to it, from when you used it for your Aunt Melanie's baby shower. I thought that the only way to get it would be to sneak in."

"You seriously couldn't have waited until we were out of the apartment?" She asked, as if she was M and he was agent double-O-seven. _Really, Bond, what kind of a spy are you_?

"I didn't know when you would be out, and I was crunched for time. You always used to be a deep sleeper, I thought." Jason replied.

"Since when?!" Spencer snorted.

Jason shook his head, "Look, I don't know where to go from here; I don't want people to find out I'm alive until I figure out a plan."

"So where are you going to go?" Spencer asked, arching an eyebrow.

He looked at her expectantly.

"What? Oh, no. No, no, no. You are _not _staying here!" She answered, waving her arms frantically.

"Please? I have no where else safe to go!"

"This isn't Nazi Germany, Jason, I'm not too keen on smuggling fugitive Jews in my house. Besides, I don't think I've been more angry at anyone than I am at you right now; why would I want you under the same roof as me?!"

"Because he's your brother." Toby spoke up from behind her. She whirled around, her eyebrows shooting up to her hairline. Toby met her gaze evenly, shrugging.

"You're taking his side?"

"I'm just saying, I've been there. There are some times in your life where you think being thought of as dead would just be easier." Toby answered.

At that, Spencer paused. It was true; her Toby had been in worse predicaments than either of them. As angry as she was, she understood Toby's words, and his omnipresent compassion.

"Fine." She said angrily, "You can stay. But don't think that this changes anything!" She pointed her index finger at her brother, "I'm still furious and not quick to forgive!"

Jason chuckled, "I know, Spence. I know. Thank you."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed. Goodnight to both of you." Spencer crossed her arms tightly over her chest and stormed out, heading back into her and Toby's room.

Jason laughed lightly and Toby joined in, "You can take the guest room." He told him, nodding over his shoulder.

"Thanks." Jason nodded to him. "Hey, uh, do you think she'll ever come around?"

"Knowing Spencer? Hmm, not a chance." Toby joked, and Jason laughed along with him.

* * *

><p>"Emily, trust me, you look amazing." Hanna told her worrisome best friend as the raven-haired goddess examined herself in the store mirror.<p>

"I don't know…does the color make my skin look green?" Emily asked, turning slightly to view herself in a different angle. She was sporting a floor-length gold gown, with a halter-top and gold rhinestones studding the sleek skirt.

"Absolutely not!" Hanna replied, taking a sip from her coffee. She sat perched on the little red vanity chair beside the mirror, her heel-clad feet crossed at the ankles.

"You're in a chipper mood today," Emily observed, one of her perfect eyebrows puckering. "Could it have anything to do with the little shaggy dog that rolled into town?"

Hanna bit her lip, smiling softly. "Maybe. How did you know he was back?"

"I saw him leaving the coffee shop this morning, and I figured the second coffee in his hand was for you." Emily fidgeted with the strap of her gown and nodded to the coffee in Hanna's hand.

"Why didn't you say hello?"

"Well I wasn't sure of anything yet; I didn't want to make things more awkward than they already were."

"Well, he's back for good, which makes me very happy." Hanna admitted.

"And Will? How is he taking it?"

Hanna faltered, her eyes dropping to her lap.

"Oh, God. You haven't told him, have you?"

"It just happened last night, Emily!" Hanna answered.

"You need to tell him, you know. He's a good guy; he deserves the truth."

"I know, I know he does. I just…don't want to be the one that has to hurt him." Hanna replied, fiddling with the cap of her drink.

"Look, he'll respect you a whole lot more if you're honest and he doesn't have to hear it from someone else." Emily said. "Alright, so am I buying this?"

"Absolutely." Hanna smiled, raising her coffee cup. "What's it for, anyway? I just got excited by the idea of shopping so I didn't even bother to listen." She admitted.

"Samara's sister's wedding. It's extremely fancy and of course, over the top. If Samara's family had anything to do with it, that is."

"Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?" Hanna asked, furrowing her brows.

"No, no, I just…" Emily sighed, dropping into the vacant vanity chair across from Hanna. She proceeded to pull off her sparkling gold stilettos and rub the arch of her foot. "I'm worried about being with her family. They're all so creative and artistic and I'm so…bleh."

"Emily. Listen to me: you are not 'bleh.' You're just as much of a fun, creative soul as they are. You just express yourself differently. If Samara didn't see that in you, then she wouldn't date you."

Emily smiled, "You think so?"

"I know so. Now come on; get changed, there's a sale at Bloomie's."

"Will do." Emily stepped back into her dressing room.

"I'm going to go look at the boots up front!" Hanna told her, and sauntered through the dressing room towards the front window of the store.

When her eyes roved over to the store window, she stopped dead in her tracks and almost dropped her coffee.

Oh, no. What was Will doing by the boutiques at this time of the morning? Was he going to come in? Would he see her? Instinctively, she followed the 'if I can't see you, you can't see me' method and closed her eyes. Quickly realizing the fault in that plan, she maneuvered back to the dressing room, opening the door of Emily's room and hurrying inside.

"Ow, Hanna, what the hell?!" Emily asked, clutching her t-shirt to her chest as Hanna smacked straight into her.

"Shh! Be quiet!" Hanna put a finger to her lips and crouched low.

"What is going on?" Emily asked, crouching with her.

"I just was Will outside!" Hanna whisper-yelled.

"Did he come in?"

"No."

"Did he see you?"

"No."

"Then why the hell are we being quiet?!"

"He can't know I'm here! Not until I find out what I'm going to say to him!"  
>"And hiding in my dressing room with me half-naked was the only way you could escape?" Emily asked sarcastically, rolling her eyes.<p>

"I panicked, okay!"

"Yeah, too much! Look Han, whatever happens happens. Even if you are thrown into a situation like this again, speaking from your heart will always be the best thing to do. You have to be _honest_ with him. A guy like Will will appreciate that."

Hanna sighed. "You're right…you're right. I'll just have to be honest with him."

"Good. Now will you please get the hell out so I can change?!"

* * *

><p>"I still can't believe you let him stay here." Spencer said frostily as Toby stepped out onto their terrace and sat down on the wicker sofa beside her. He handed her a mug of tea.<p>

"What, no coffee?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Uh, we're out."

"Liar. You know I have a secret stash underneath your floorboards."

"Alright fine. It's decaffeinated tea because you've been even shakier than usual lately."

"Yeah because there's a legally dead man sleeping in our guest room." Spencer snorted. "If I have one more zombie nightmare about him, he's outta here."

"Maybe you should stop watching _The Walking Dead _after ten." Toby suggested with a slight shrug.

Spencer gave him the stink eye before taking another sip of her tea. Her slipper-clad feet were tucked under her, and she was wearing one of Toby's old t-shirts over a pair of flannel pajama pants, along with a silk bathrobe.

"This is all wrong, you know. We shouldn't be helping him hide from his problems."

"We're not." Toby answered. He put an arm gently around her shoulders. "We're giving him a chance to collect himself and figure out a plan."

Spencer sighed and looked out into the night. She set down her tea on the side table next to her and got to her feet, nearing the railing. Leaning over it, she examined the city; all of Rosewood was asleep and at peace. Everyone had probably already forgotten the story of poor Jason DiLaurentis. They would all console the broken-hearted sister, Spencer Hastings, if they ever encountered her on the street. They'd pretend to be saddened by her obvious loss, but they would just go home and thank the good Lord that it wasn't their own lives being tampered with. And if anything wrong were to come upon them, they would curse that same good Lord that they had once thanked. Fickle, fickle people. Fickle, fickle town. Fickle, fickle earth.

"It's madness, you know. All of this. This man who is faking being dead, eating our food, drinking our coffee, and sleeping in our bed. It's like undead Goldi-Locks without the decency to keep herself a secret."

"Maybe it's time the bears put their guard down and lent a hand to him instead." Toby replied softly. "Trust me, Spencer. I've been exactly where he is right now. It's not fun. In fact, it's awful. You know that no one will believe anything you say, not even if it's the absolute truth."

Spencer sighed and softened, peering over the edge of the rail. "I know. I understand you. I'm just…in the process of forgiving him. I'm working on it. Sadly, I'm not as forgiving as you are."

"Yes you are. You're just angry because he tricked you. You're angry because you had already started to have closure and now everything is a mess again. It's okay to feel betrayed, Spencer."

She sighed again and turned back to him, sliding back onto the seat beside him. He looped his arms around her middle and pulled her against his chest. She kicked her feet up and leaned against him, closing her eyes and drifting away to the soft sound of Toby's humming in her ear.

**I'm so sorry this has taken a billion years to get up! School has been drilling me and i've had some friend issues recently, but thats no excuse. I promise to be punctual next time, my sweets! :) **

**-AJ**


	45. AN - IdeasRequest?

**_Hey, AJ here - _**

**_My next chapter will be up in the next couple of days, but I had an interesting request from my tumblr. An anon asked me to write a spin-off, AU story about Hanna and Will. I'd probably post it on my tumblr, or here if it allows OCs. Would anyone be interested in reading it?_**

**_Just a quick thought :) Thanks!_**

**_-AJ _**


	46. The Man Who Can't Be Moved

Chapter 41:

The Man Who Can't Be Moved

As surprising as it sounds, Ali used to be quite an artist. Spencer used to come over and watch her sketch sometimes, in their childhood. Ali quit when she was about fourteen, when she decided that chasing older boys was a much more popular and fun pastime. But Spencer still thought about her drawings from time to time. Of course, they were probably still locked away in her drawing box beneath her bed, which was still untouched in her old bedroom. Correction: they were probably now a pile of ashes, mixed in with the rubble that was once the DiLaurentis house.

Still getting back into the school groove after break, Spencer found herself thinking more and more about the DiLaurentis household and the afternoons she had spent there as a child. It was like a completely different world there. Alison's room was an ongoing party, the entrance to Narnia, a place where all worries checked themselves at the door. And Jason was always holed up in his room down the hall, probably higher than an airplane. Ali's parents made them amazing food, brought home movies that Spencer's parents would view as "impractical," but would make preteen girls giggle their asses off, and let them go in the hot tub when it was snowing outside. To Spencer, it was like falling through the rabbit hole into Wonderland. In a way, it made putting up with Ali's shit somewhat bearable, if that was what came with it.

Also, as the first few days of the new semester began to churn and rattle into a full-fledged month of school, she noticed herself attracting the attention of her fellow students. At first, she was puzzled by the sudden interest – especially since half of her admirers had been people she hadn't thus spoken to – but she soon found her answer: the beautiful, twinkling engagement ring that now adorned her finger. She had expected herself to be self-conscious when the time for people to gawk at the new addition to her hand, but she was, surprisingly, at ease about it. Maybe it was because the man who had given it to her was so at ease about, well…everything. Toby made a hard day's work look like a walk in the park. He never dragged his stress into their relationship, and always made sure to make her feel as wanted as she was the day they first fell for each other.

"I drove by Ali's house today." Spencer told him, pouring a glass of milk for herself.

His eyes lifted off of the blue print in front of him and met her gaze evenly. "You did?"

"Well, the rubble, anyway." She shrugged. Toby gave her a warning look, but she waved her hand, "Relax; Jason's in the shower. He can't hear us."

Bent over the coffee table, Toby nodded and returned his attention to his work.

It was silent for a few moments.

"Are you mad at me?" Spencer asked. She was usually very stubborn to admit her own wrongs, but Toby's slightly chilly attitude that had been present throughout the day was chewing on her nerves. At this point, she was willing to say anything to bring him back to his old self. Sure, she'd been griping and bitching about Jason all week, but that was just Spencer being Spencer. Toby was sunshine. Maybe it was selfish for her to expect that of him, but come on…every Bella wants a sweet, sparkly Edward.

…And her Jacob had just come back from the dead and was now showering in their apartment.

Toby looked up again as Spencer skirted around the counter and stepped into the living room. His eyes followed her as she dropped into the vacant armchair across from him.

"Am I mad at you?" He repeated.

Spencer nodded.

"Of course not." He answered, furrowing his eyebrows. "Why would you say that?"

"Well, you've been rather Jack Frost-like all day. And it's a Saturday! They're your favorite days! Even when I woke up this morning when I reached over for you, all I found was rumpled sheets! What's gotten into you?" She asked carefully.

Toby sighed. He looked down at his blueprint and then back up.

"Toby?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice."

"That my usually happy-skippy fiancée is now cold and distant? Not likely, Mr. Bond."

Toby wasn't assuaged by her attempt at the joke, and remained slightly frigid.

Spencer cleared her throat and set her cup on the coffee table. She leaned back and folded her hands in her lap.

"Out with it." She told him with a puckered brow.

Toby sighed again and began to roll up his blue prints, as if the story was tangible and needed an entire table's space to be laid out.

"Last night, after you went to bed…Melissa called." He started.

Spencer was quiet for a second. "Did you tell her about – "

"No, I didn't say a word about Jason." He shook his head. "But she had plenty to say."

"Whoa, whoa, wait." Spencer leaned onto her elbows. "Why didn't she ask to talk to me?"

"She did. I told her you were sleeping."

"Why didn't she wait until the morning to talk to me?"

"I guess she just needed to get it out in the open. It doesn't sound like a lot of people know. And a secret like that…well, layers of secrets like those…they're not the easiest to keep hidden. After a while something snaps and they all flood out like a dam. I know they did for me; hell I had been running for so long that I ended up telling some homeless dude on the side of the road all of my deepest fears the year they found…" She trailed off and looked down into his hands folded on his lap.

Spencer nodded. She knew that the memory of being accused of killing Alison was sometimes too much to bear for him.

"So what did she tell you?" Spencer asked.

"Well, first off…the day they found 'Jason,'" He used his fingers to indicate air quotes, "she found out that she had lost the baby."

Spencer clapped her hand over her mouth. "Oh no." She said, "How sad." And she meant it, too. Spencer knew how much of a connection Melissa had already formed with her little fetus, and what it meant to her and Franco.

"And is Franco still around?"

"Well, that's a totally different story." Toby pulled at the hair at the back of his neck. "First off…Wren called her. She'd left her phone at her apartment when she went to pick up Taylor. So, she wasn't home when he called. Unfortunately…Franco was."

"So Franco actually talked to Wren?" Spencer's eyes went wide.

"Well, no. Franco was showering when Wren called, but when he got out, he saw that there was an alert for a voicemail from him on her phone. Out of curiosity, he listened."

"And he got mad at her over it?" She asked skeptically, "That's…a rather douchey thing to do."

"No, just the opposite. In the message, Wren said that he was coming home soon to talk to her. He said he'd done a lot of thinking and was ready to try to figure something out."

Spencer snorted, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, that's likely."

"Maybe he meant it." Toby shrugged. Spencer looked at him, surprised. Toby defending Wren? Not likely.

"When Melissa came home…she called Franco's name but he wasn't there." Toby continued. "She looked around and found a note on her counter."

"What did it say?"

"Franco told her what Wren had said. He said that he wanted her to try again with him. He said some stuff about feeling selfish for taking the place of Taylor's father. He asked her not to call, and to forget about him."

"Wow." By this point, Spencer's face was buried in her hands, and her voice came out muffled. "So he's gone? Forever?"

"Looks that way." Toby shrugged.

Spencer ran a hand through her hair and groaned. "Melissa's probably a mess." She sighed. "I should…I should call her…" She reached for her phone on the table, but Toby grasped her wrist.

"Call her tomorrow."

"Toby – "

"No, Spence. You need a break. And she needs time to let it sink in. You don't need to be responsible for everyone else's problems. You have enough to deal with yourself." He told her. He got to his feet and stood over her, holding both of her hands. He stooped into a crouch before her, and looked deeply into her eyes. "None of this is your fault. Stop acting like it is."

Spencer looked at him for a moment longer, and then sighed. "Okay." She answered. "I'll call tomorrow."

Toby gave a wry smile and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "Can I make you some coffee?"

She snorted again, and nodded, "Yeah, yeah that sounds great."

Suddenly, Spencer heard a sound from the hallway, and a moment later, Jason appeared, dressed in a pair of jeans and a loose black tee.

"Hi." He said, awkwardly. "Did I…interrupt something?"

"Uhm, no." Spencer shook her head, and got to her feet. "Not at all."

Jason nodded, and looked from her to Toby.

"Can I…make some coffee for you?" She asked him. "You look a little tired."

* * *

><p>"Okay, now open you mouth." Caleb said, and Hanna resisted the urge to open her eyes instead. "And keep your eyes closed!"<p>

"How do I know this isn't a trick?!" Hanna laughed, reaching her hands out to blindly bat at his shoulder.

Caleb chuckled, "I guess you'll just have to trust me!"

The two of them were sitting on a bench in Rosewood's most popular parks, with a bag full of different foods that Caleb had bought at the grocery store earlier that day.

Hanna hesitantly opened her mouth and she felt Caleb's fingers slip a small square onto her tongue. When she began to chew on it, she opened her eyes, "I didn't know you bought miniature Snickers!"

"Well, I knew you loved them." He shrugged, reaching into the basket for a bottle of Izze. Unscrewing the cap, he took a sip.

"Looks like we finished all the food." She sighed. "Well, except for the Snickers." She checked her watch, "We should probably leave soon if we're going to catch the movie."

"Yeah, you're right." He replied, sliding the Izze back into the bag. "We can eat the Snickers in the theater."

"They don't let you take your own food in, Caleb." Hanna said.

"Oh, well, I guess I've always had that slight streak of bad boy." He said, in a pseudo brooding voice.

She giggled and he leaned into her face, kissing her softly. When he pulled away, he gently caressed her short curls. "You ready to go?"

"Mmmhmm." She smiled. Her car was parked on the sidewalk behind them. Her gaze wandered over his shoulder, and she resisted the urge to gasp when her eyes fell on Will, who was leaning against a lamppost a few benches over. She looked back to Caleb, "Uhm, you get it started. I'll be there in a second."

Caleb looked at her skeptically, but nevertheless got to his feet and collected the bag.

Once Caleb had headed for the car, she stood up, dusted herself off, and walked slowly towards Will, her hands clasped in front of her.

When she reached him, he looked up at her. She expected him to be wearing an expression of betrayal, hurt, anger…

But he wasn't; he looked at her like he always had, happy, easy-going. Non-judgmental.

"Uh…Hi." She said awkwardly.

"Hello, Hanna." Will answered her with a calm smile.

"What, uh, what brings you to the park today?"

"Just thought of going for a walk." He said.

It was obvious that this lame conversation was pointless, so Hanna sighed and looked for a place to begin. "Look, Will…"

At this point, he was peering over her shoulder, at Caleb, who was sitting in the driver's seat of the car, looking at the two of them. Hanna looked behind her, and then back to Will.

Will's eyes addressed her calmly, waiting for her to finish.

"I…uh," She shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He gave a soft smile. "Don't ever be sorry for being happy, Hanna. I want you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you."

His words made Hanna's eyes water, and she gave a soft smile. "I wish I had something better to say to you."

Will smiled and shook his head. "We're broken people, Hanna. We need someone who's whole to make us feel whole. Surprisingly, two broken people don't make a whole piece. We just create more misery for ourselves by trying. You should be with someone who makes you feel whole." Will reached out and took her hand, then looked deeply into her eyes. "You deserve everything loving and beautiful in this world. You deserve someone who will make you as happy as you make them. And you deserve to be loved and taken care of for the rest of your life."

Hanna was soon breathless, and she shook her head in awe, "You're too great of a person, Will Lovat." She grinned, looking down at their intertwined fingers. "And I hope you find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved."

"Thank you, Hanna. That means more than you know."

Hanna nodded and leaned in, gently kissing his cheek. She felt his hand on her arm – a gentle, friendly gesture. When she pulled away, she murmured. "I hope you find everything you're looking for in life."

As she walked away, their fingers slipped out of one another's grasp, and she made her way back towards the car. Will might not have been the "One," but they had forever changed one another's lives. Will had taught Hanna things she had never known she had been capable of. He taught her to be free.

Every girl needs an angel to help her grow her wings.

And, as she looked down at the beautiful locket that was settled against her collarbone, she wondered what she had done to deserve someone so pure and honest in her life.


End file.
